Diana and James Hewitt

[Denville]

Hoare didn't abandon his wife and when he was caught he did the right thing and fought for his marriage. That is a good thing IMO and he seems to be one of the few men associated with Diana who got out before it ended badly. If Hoare wasn't a catch than neither was Diana who was also a cheater.

I wouldn't say he "fought for his marriage", simply that his wife had all the money, and he knew that if he left her, he would be poor and dependent on Diana. He would probably lose close contact with his children. He loved Diana but was wary of her very emotional dramatic nature and he probalbly had never intended to leave his wife or to get into an affair which would end his marriage.. so he pulled out... and went back to his wife...

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Whatever reason he stayed with his wife is known only to him and her. Bottom line is he didn't break up his marriage, kept his mouth shut, and his family together. The one who comes out looking the worst is Diana and her stalking and playing the poor hurt wife card when she herself was sleeping with married men.

 

[Denville]

Whatever reason he stayed with his wife is known only to him and her. Bottom line is he didn't break up his marriage, kept his mouth shut, and his family together. The one who comes out looking the worst is Diana and her stalking and playing the poor hurt wife card when she herself was sleeping with married men.

I think it is pretty clear that he was fond of Diana, but he hadn't intended it to be a serious affair, because he didn't ever want to leave his wife. He had another long affair with a woman and he didn't leave his wife over her. Either he loved his wife best and didn't want to leave her or the children.. or there were more material reasons. Its probably a combination of both.

 

[Denville]

Very interesting take and one I never thought of. Didnt Diana employ Hewitt to teach her to ride? If Diana were a man people would be screaming sexual harassment. Not only does the gender double standard come in but also the Poor St. Diana double standard with her sad eyes helping her sell the "he betrayed me" line.
With that being said there is still something pathetic about Hewitt, but the man was used badly by Diana. Makes me glad Oliver Hoare wouldn't cater to her.

there is nothing pathetic about J Hewitt unless you might think it was pathetic that a man who was supposed to be an officer and gentleman would sink as low as he's done.

 

[Denville]

A li
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She said"I thanked Richard Kay for letting me talk to my family. He said it was his pleasure. What I didn't know was that he was the 'Royal Correspondent' for the Daily Mail. Nor did I know that he was in possession of much more information about me than anyone in the Brigade might have suspected."





[/I]

oh he "didn't know? that R Kay was a Royal journalist? he didn't think it was stupid and indiscreet to use a journalist's phone to call Diana. the man is sickeningly low.

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

there is nothing pathetic about J Hewitt unless you might think it was pathetic that a man who was supposed to be an officer and gentleman would sink as low as he's done.

It takes two to tango. Meaning that your qualification of Captain Hewitt is applicable as well to Diana: "... that a woman who was supposed to be a Princess and a Lady would sink as low as she's done".

 

[Osipi]

oh he "didn't know? that R Kay was a Royal journalist? he didn't think it was stupid and indiscreet to use a journalist's phone to call Diana. the man is sickeningly low.

It may have been set up by Diana herself for all we know. Richard Kay was the go to guy that was on Diana's speed dial (did they have speed dial back then?) if she wanted something "out there". If Diana did set it up to have Richard Kay accompany Hewitt, it would have been a feather in the cap of the Daily Fail. Kay was their golden goose that laid a whole lot of eggs in the Diana years.

 

[Denville]

It may have been set up by Diana herself for all we know. Richard Kay was the go to guy that was on Diana's speed dial (did they have speed dial back then?) if she wanted something "out there". If Diana did set it up to have Richard Kay accompany Hewitt, it would have been a feather in the cap of the Daily Fail. Kay was their golden goose that laid a whole lot of eggs in the Diana years.

what was set up by Diana?? She got Richard Kay an appointment in the Gulf? She could influence the Army or the Newspaper's dispositions?
She arranged for him to meet Hewitt and use his phone? From what I've read, Hewitt was prancing around in the Gulf waving letters from Diana for anyone to see and using a journalists phone in public to call her...

 

[Osipi]

Its just my supposition of course but if the DM was sending any reporters/journalists to the Gulf and they knew of Hewitt and where he was stationed, its possible that they knew that Kay was just the guy to send to get close to Hewitt. The DM knew that Diana pretty much had Kay in her pocket as they were getting "scoops" through Kay so it just seems logical and no real surprise that Kay was the Gulf journalist. I'm wondering if Kay had ever done this kind of stint before. That would give us a clue. I'm not that overly informed on Kay's career but I never imagined him to be a war correspondent/journalist.

I get these odd thoughts from time to time.

 

[Denville]

so Diana didn't set anyting up then? And in spite of Kay's having been a journalist who was close to Diana, J Hewitt didn't know this.. though he had been Di's lover for quite a while. He didn't hear the name Richard Kay and think " that' s the journalist that Di has been briefing...."

 

[Osipi]

I'm being totally imaginative as we'll never know really what was what at that time but what if, and its just a what if. We know from difference sources that Diana did not want Hewitt going to the Gulf and suggested getting in contact with the powers that be to get him out of the tour of duty but Hewitt wouldn't hear of it. As manipulative as Diana was, who is to say that she didn't go to Kay and relate the fact that Hewitt was going and from there, the idea stemmed that Kay would ask and possibly get an assignment to where Hewitt was to "keep and eye on him" for Diana.

It just seems weird to me that Kay ended up in the Gulf when his work was primarily covering and writing about the royal family.

Maybe I should take up fan fiction writing?

 

[Denville]

Im still confused - are you saying that Diana persuaded Kay to ask for an assignment in the Gulf? And he took it just to please her?
and even though Diana had contact with J Hewitt via letters etc, she wanted Kay tehre to "keep an eye on him" nad lend him a mobile phone?
and with all this JH who had been Diana's lover in the later 80s didn't know who R Kay was or that he had a working relationship with Diana?

 

[Osipi]

These are just off the wall thoughts that have run through my head. When it comes to Diana, anything is possible. We'll never really know the extent of anything in relation to Diana and Hewitt other than what Hewitt chooses to make public and even that isn't totally reliable. Diana isn't here to give her side of things.

I am definitely *not* stating anything that, to me, is deemed factual. Just thinking out loud really. Its all my brain is capable of on a Sunday afternoon.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

It takes two to tango. Meaning that your qualification of Captain Hewitt is applicable as well to Diana: "... that a woman who was supposed to be a Princess and a Lady would sink as low as she's done".

And I don't think a lady pursues married men which Diana did twice; and does a lady then begin to essentially stalk said married man by disrupting his family with phone calls?

 

[Elan]

Its just my supposition of course but if the DM was sending any reporters/journalists to the Gulf and they knew of Hewitt and where he was stationed, its possible that they knew that Kay was just the guy to send to get close to Hewitt. The DM knew that Diana pretty much had Kay in her pocket as they were getting "scoops" through Kay so it just seems logical and no real surprise that Kay was the Gulf journalist. I'm wondering if Kay had ever done this kind of stint before. That would give us a clue. I'm not that overly informed on Kay's career but I never imagined him to be a war correspondent/journalist.

and how can you be a quiet type of spectacular ? The two things don't go together.

www.ashfordcastle.com/about/the-quiet-man

 

[Somebody]

Diana had an on and off affair with him, largely because she needed someone to be close to and as a lover... and while she was an attractive woman, during her marriage to Charles, she had to be very careful whom she had affairs with. Charles problaby tolerated Hewitt because he believed that as an army officer Hewitt "Knew how to behave" and would keep Diana happy and Im sure he never considered that a man like him would abuse Di's trust, talk to the press and sell his story...

I don't understand why Diana 'needed' someone as a lover, i.e. to have an affair with. While she surely needed friendships, having affairs was not a need but a want [...]

 

[Osipi]

I don't understand why Diana 'needed' someone as a lover, i.e. to have an affair with. While she surely needed friendships, having affairs was not a need but a want [...]
What Diana sought in all her affairs, to me, was a need. She needed to feel loved and wanted and cherished like we all do. With the marriage severely on the rocks, there was a serious lack of affection and companionship. It wasn't solely on the want of a sex life that Diana turned to other men. I would even go as far as to state that during most of her marriage, Diana could have been classified as, what a marriage counselor once told me, a married single. Diana for a long while before her divorce was pretty much married on paper only.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I don't understand why Diana 'needed' someone as a lover, i.e. to have an affair with. While she surely needed friendships, having affairs was not a need but a want [...]

She's was an aristocrat, they tend to see marriage differently and have for centuries. On top of that a lot of the common folks cheat as well.

 

[Elan]

Treasured gifts from Diana that were lifted from his possession. How to put it behind you after a loss like that..sheesh.

'Diana was generous in her presents to me. She gave me a tie-pin with a fox head in diamonds, a gold fob watch with the words, 'I will love you always' inscribed on it. She had cufflinks made in the shape of an owl with piercing blue eyes and, most precious of all, a gold cross which bore the message, 'I shall love you forever.'
Sadly these are no longer mine to treasure. They were stolen out of the boot of my car when I moved from Devon to London. They meant a great deal to me.'

As for thoroughbred racehorses, I don't think that DIana was at all interested in horseflesh so I don't know what you mean by that, besides which thoroughbred racehorses are usually seen as high strung and temperamental, not even tempered...

Legend..calm demeanor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citation_(horse)

 

[Denville]

He obviously didn't treasure Dian's gifts very much or he would have taken better care iof them....

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Ok wow talk about criticizing a man for every little thing he does. Hewitt is a cad but its hardly something detrimental to have your property stolen. There are plenty of other things to bash him for.

 

[Jacknch]

Please note that off topic/bickering/point-scoring posts have been deleted.

 

[Elan]

Somewhat unusual - the placing of rare momentos from Diana in the boot of a parked car. With some diligence...an engine bay, beneath seats, or undercarriage would have foiled a theft like that.

If ever found and the provenance of the items somehow verified, that would be a nice thing.

 

[MARG]

I don't understand why Diana 'needed' someone as a lover, i.e. to have an affair with. While she surely needed friendships, having affairs was not a need but a want [...]

What Diana sought in all her affairs, to me, was a need. She needed to feel loved and wanted and cherished like we all do. With the marriage severely on the rocks, there was a serious lack of affection and companionship. It wasn't solely on the want of a sex life that Diana turned to other men. I would even go as far as to state that during most of her marriage, Diana could have been classified as, what a marriage counselor once told me, a married single. Diana for a long while before her divorce was pretty much married on paper only.

I had a sister-in-law who was very emotionally needy and needed to be told she was loved every day and even that still left her insecure. I think Diana had the same driving need and perhaps that was something that would have driven Diana to try to find the "perfect man" to fulfil that need which was an impossible ask. Unfortunately, she was selfish in her choices, Hewitt seen was seen as abandoning her when he was posted overseas and Diana could not comprehend anything that superseded her wishes, not even the Army and his job.

 

[Elan]

I'm still confused - are you saying that Diana persuaded Kay to ask for an assignment in the Gulf? And he took it just to please her?

(Apology - if this phase of the Iraq campaign is regarded as source of friction, indiscretion.)

In a civil tone : wouldn't 'odds' have to be astronomical for a royal newsman to request special assignment to the Life Guards, where by sheer coincidence Hewitt is serving as a commander ??

Rather than please Diana, a media outlet would likely find that beneficial to their livelihood.

 

[Denville]

(Apology - if this phase of the Iraq campaign is regarded as source of friction, indiscretion.)

In a civil tone : wouldn't 'odds' have to be astronomical for a royal newsman to request special assignment to the Life Guards, where by sheer coincidence Hewitt is serving as a commander ??

Rather than please Diana, a media outlet would likely find that beneficial to their livelihood.

I understand that Kaye had been covering Charles' visit to the troops and this was how he got the assignment...

 

[Elan]

I understand that Kaye had been covering Charles' visit to the troops and this was how he got the assignment...

Maybe, but the breakdown of battalions, troops on the ground being significant, a journalist could be attached to any number of units. Instead, just Hewitt's. Anyhow, before returning, his affections and unlikely romance with Diana would be turned on their head by a former girlfriend's story that made headlines, and from that point on his blessed days were numbered.

Had he been killed in battle, he'd be the first to regard it as a better outcome than the one he had.

 

[Denville]

Im not quite sure what you mean, but my impresson was that it was during the GUlf War that he began to hint heavily to the Press about his affair.. so he deserved for his "blessed days" to be numbered

 

[Osipi]

From what I've read over the years, this space of time during the Gulf war was perhaps the only place in the Diana/Hewitt story that he showed having any of a backbone to him. It was reported that Diana was *not* happy that Hewitt was going off on a tour of duty to the Gulf and wanted to pull strings to get him out of it and keep him by her but he was adamant about serving.

Out of sight, out of mind and with Hewitt no longer available, the relationship quickly changed and it spiraled downwards from that point on.

 

[Denville]

From what I've read over the years, this space of time during the Gulf war was perhaps the only place in the Diana/Hewitt story that he showed having any of a backbone to him. It was reported that Diana was *not* happy that Hewitt was going off on a tour of duty to the Gulf and wanted to pull strings to get him out of it and keep him by her but he was adamant about serving.

Out of sight, out of mind and with Hewitt no longer available, the relationship quickly changed and it spiraled downwards from that point on.

Not the case as far as I know. Their relationship had actually ended, because he had insisted on going to Germany.. a while before. It renewed because of his service in the Gulf.. so it was not case of "out of sight out of mind" at all. She and Hewitt were in touch, and wrote to each other. She sent him gifts and it was then that he began to drop hints to journalists about his affair with her