Diana and James Hewitt

[Pranter]

I don't remember hearing about Diana buying clothes for Charles. Charles is reported to be pretty particular about his clothing.


LaRae

 

[Osipi]

I've read in quite a few places where after the marriage, Diana set about to beef up Charles' wardrobe and get him into stuff like soft, pastel sweaters and a more casual look. I'm sure he made some changes but Charles is a man that dresses impecciibly according to his taste and doesn't follow fashion trends.

Diana always had the "mothering" and "caretaking" bug even as a child so it wasn't unusual for her to want to take care of the people close to her. Actually I'd even go as far as to state that Diana would rather take care of other people than to have them take care of her as far as physical needs. Emotionally, she craved someone that doted on her.

 

[Denville]

She did persuade him to buy less formal clothes, and that was one reason why Stephen Barry was cool with her.. Charles, to please her, dressed a bit more casually.....

 

[Elan]

IMO, Hewitt behaved honorable considering how he was treated.

If Hewitt was a cad he could have written 'his story' and included all her letters in this book as soon as she dumped him.
He did not.

Or he could have written his book after the Morton's book came out.
He did not.

After the Panorama interview he could have come forward and stated, 'I did not let her down. I was true to her even after our relationship ended. I will publish my side of the story. I will say nothing more until then.'
He did not.

Or after the Panorama interview, he could have kept quiet and in complete secrecy, had the book published with all her letters in it.
He did not.

Anytime between 1991-1996, he could have simultaneously launched this book in the U.K; U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand without releasing early copies or excerpts to the media.
He did not do this.

He had several opportunities to write the book and include her letters in the book during her lifetime.
He did not.

It's rare as hen's teeth to read a comment that is not scathing toward Hewitt.

www.theguardian.com/books/1999/oct/29/2

 

[Denville]

Why woud there be kndly comments about a man who behaved the way he has done? He has exploited his connextion with Diana for years, he has used their relationship to make money.

 

[Elan]

Since every shred connected to the letters and money is well documented, at times it can get a little repetitive. I get the fact that many are offended by the prospect of a sale.

I haven't read 'Love and War', but for ex, if he wasn't treated with much in the way of dignity when she grew weary of him, maybe there are circumstances that deserve to be seen as a footnote of some kind.
____
Quote:
"According to Ken Wharfe, who tried to dissuade her from sending the letters, Diana felt Hewitt was less in love than he claimed, while hoping to snare a princess. Her feeling at the time was that he was "getting too serious". Letters boosted his morale overseas with the result that he talked openly about "spending the rest of their lives together".

Once he returned to England, face to face, something had radically changed. Alarmed, he called Ken in near panic, who was not about to intervene on his behalf. She discovered from Richard Kay that using a satellite phone in the Gulf to call, meant others nearby could listen, which rankled her. It must have been a nightmare of a homecoming for Hewitt to find himself put out to pasture unexpectedly, standing there in shock from it all. Soon, she would no longer receive his calls at Kensington.

Ken advised her to request a full return of the letters. When she attempted that he told her he wanted to keep them as a remembrance."
____

 

[Denville]

I cant' beelive anyone would defend Hewitts behaviour.. He was indiscreet abuot their affair, using a journalist's phone to call Diana in the Gulf.. hinting about the affair and eventaualy trying to use their love letters to blackmail her.. and in the end, publicly telling about the affair.. when it could have done her harm. And since she's died he spent many years, as a few others - in makng a career out of talttling on TV about her.

 

[Mirabel]

Hewitt cashed in for years, betraying the woman he claimed to love.
No gentleman would have acted as he did.
I can't think of any way to excuse his behavior.

There are people who will do anything, however low, for money, and Hewitt is one of them.

 

[Denville]

True he really is despicable.. Staff being disloyal is bad enough, friends being disloyal is worse, but for someone whom Diana had a close intimate relationship, who claimed to love her.. to do waht J H did is unbelievable.

 

[Pranter]

IIRC he also fanned the flames when the ugly rumor arose that Harry was his son and not Charles's.

He's despicable.


LaRae

 

[O-H Anglophile]

IIRC he also fanned the flames when the ugly rumor arose that Harry was his son and not Charles's.

He's despicable.


LaRae

I'm not sure that is true. I thought Hewitt was always firm that he didn't meet Diana until 1986.

 

[Pranter]

I'm pretty sure he was quite sly about it for quite some time. Instead of coming out with firm denials.


LaRae

 

[Tsaritsa]

I'm not sure that is true. I thought Hewitt was always firm that he didn't meet Diana until 1986.

I was shown an article in the "Telegraph" which showed Diana greeting a handsome young man -who was clearly Harry- in (cadet?) Guard's uniform. The the penny dropped!!! It couldn't possibly have been grown up Harry. It wasn't and nowhere did it say it was. The handsome young man Diana was greeting warmly was her brother, Charles.

 

[Lee-Z]

I had that "Hey that's Harry" moment in this thread "Family Resemblances":
http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/f23/family-resemblances-4489-21.html#post1935042
(Yes, it's a young P.Philip ? )

 

[Mirabel]

I'm not sure that is true. I thought Hewitt was always firm that he didn't meet Diana until 1986.

Hewitt waffled about that, implying he was confused about timelines, etc. That was one of the worst things he did, creating suspicion about paternity.
Disgusting behavior from a lowlife.

 

[Denville]

Hewitt waffled about that, implying he was confused about timelines, etc. That was one of the worst things he did, creating suspicion about paternity.
Disgusting behavior from a lowlife.

He was hypnotised on some tv programme and began to imply that his relationship with Diana had begun earlier than he had orginally stated so that maybe he was H's father.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I think Hewitt was treated badly by Diana as most people she was done with were. But it doesn't excuse the majority of what Hewitt has done. I can excuse the book but not the 2 + decades of selling his relationship with her. Plus he did begin implying he met Diana earlier than 1986.

 

[Tsaritsa]

He was hypnotised on some RRtv programme and began to imply that his relationship with Diana had begun earlier than he had orginally stated so that maybe he was H's father.

OR he pretended to be hypnotized in order that he didn't have to take responsibility for what he said whilst allegedly being under hypnosis. It may be argued that HAD her been under hypnosis he wouldn't have 'implied' anything.

 

[Osipi]

I have to admit that I bought "Love and War" but wasn't really able to get into reading it so I can't pass an opinion on it yet. Perhaps I should give it another shot?

When a person has had worldwide fame and admiration like Diana did and then her life ended so tragically, people are eager and hungry to find out more and more about this person and there's a market for people that actually knew her, worked for her or were involved with her to present their experiences in the publishing business. Some are well written, informative and serve to allow the public to "know" the subject better. Some are blatantly cashing in and stroking their own egos and padding their pockets doing this. Hewitt, to me, falls in the latter category as some things should remain private. Same with Paul Burrell.

I think my criteria for judging any book that is written by people that knew Diana stems from whether they write objectively or subjectively.

 

[Denville]

OR he pretended to be hypnotized in order that he didn't have to take responsibility for what he said whilst allegedly being under hypnosis. It may be argued that HAD her been under hypnosis he wouldn't have 'implied' anything.

well obviously......

 

[Elan]

Disliking him is one thing, but if that's the sole purpose of the discussion, it prevents any wheat and chaff from being seperated. As of now what's taking place is to reinforce the prevailing attitude of him being aligned with the antichrist. Instead, we should ask:

A) Did he have any redeeming qualities ?

B) What are they ?

C) Who here has sat down over the course of a few months, to get to know him ?

She was with him for five years, finding him a charming, caring, affectionate, amusing fellow. James Hewitt on any day in his life does not deserve to be in a class with Charles Manson...where real differences exist when it comes to a term like despicable. Should we really believe Diana was not a soulmate, was unable to see past his charm, that it took her half a decade to discover the real him....give me a break.

 

[Denville]

Disliking him is one thing, but if that's the sole purpose of the discussion, it prevents all wheat and chaff from being seperated. As of now what's taking place is to reinforce the prevailing attitude of him being aligned with the antichrist. Instead, we should ask:

A) Did he have any redeeming qualities ?

B) What are they ?

C) Who here has sat down over the course of a few months, to get to know him ?


She was with him for five years, finding him a charming, caring, affectionate, amusing, fellow. James Hewitt on any day in his life does not deserve to be in a class with Charles Manson...where real differences exist when it comes to a term like despicable. Should we really believe Diana was not a soulmate, unable to see past his charm, that it took her half a decade to discover the real him....give me a break.

I don't know where you get this idea that people are comparing him with Charles manson or the antichrist.. people have said that he's a despicable cad, which he is... he's not a mass murderer.. However just because he is not so extremely bad as someone like Manson does not mean that he's not a pretty unlikable, sleazy, bad lot...
Diana had an on and off affair with him, largely because she needed someone to be close to and as a lover... and while she was an attractive woman, during her marriage to Charles, she had to be very careful whom she had affairs with. Charles problaby tolerated Hewitt because he believed that as an army officer Hewitt "Knew how to behave" and would keep Diana happy and Im sure he never considered that a man like him would abuse Di's trust, talk to the press and sell his story...

 

[Elan]

Diana had an on and off affair with him, largely because she needed someone to be close to and as a lover... and while she was an attractive woman, during her marriage to Charles, she had to be very careful whom she had affairs with...

That is a fair comment, but nothing along these lines has been addressed..

A) Did he have any redeeming qualities ?

B) What are they ?

C) Who here has sat down over the course of a few months, to get to know him ?

 

[Osipi]

I have to really believe that James Hewitt was the "golden boy" in Diana's eyes. As long as he served the purpose that she put on him and the relationship. Once Hewitt displayed that he had his own mind, could make his own decisions (going to the Gulf), Diana saw it as a flaw in the relationship (and possibly abandonment) and it cooled on her end. We also have to remember that when Hewitt first appeared on the scene, like Mannakee, he was the "help" hired to give riding lessons.

We see this pattern repeatedly with Diana. With Charles, with Khan and the machinations she attempted with all her relationships. All was unicorns and rainbows with the cotton candy stickiness of profound admiration and adulation of the romance hero was there until the hero steps out of the book and becomes a real, live male with a brain and his own dreams and goals.

 

[Denville]

I have to really believe that James Hewitt was the "golden boy" in Diana's eyes. As long as he served the purpose that she put on him and the relationship. Once Hewitt displayed that he had his own mind, could make his own decisions (going to the Gulf), Diana saw it as a flaw in the relationship (and possibly abandonment) and it cooled on her end. We also have to remember that when Hewitt first appeared on the scene, like Mannakee, he was the "help" hired to give riding lessons.

We

that was not the case, She did split up with him because he wanted to go to Germany but she renewed her relationship wit him when he went to the Gulf.. and he repaid her by talking to her on a phone that people could hear, and hinting to journalists that he was her lover....
He was not IMO her "golden boy", she cared about him initially or she would not have become his lover.. but he was basically in the affair for what he could get out of it.. initially presents, but later, money from selling her out to the press. And as she began to feel that he didn't care about her sincerely, she did cool on him.. Why woudlnt she?

 

[Tsaritsa]

Disliking him is one thing, but if that's the sole purpose of the discussion, it prevents any wheat and chaff from being seperated. As of now what's taking place is to reinforce the prevailing attitude of him being aligned with the antichrist. Instead, we should ask:

A) Did he have any redeeming qualities ?

B) What are they ?

C) Who here has sat down over the course of a few months, to get to know him ?

She was with him for five years, finding him a charming, caring, affectionate, amusing fellow. James Hewitt on any day in his life does not deserve to be in a class with Charles Manson...where real differences exist when it comes to a term like despicable. Should we really believe Diana was not a soulmate, was unable to see past his charm, that it took her half a decade to discover the real him....give me a break.

Unless any of us knew him personally, none of us is in a position to answer those questions in any way other than how we perceive him to be. I think that may have already been done.

As you've pointed out, Diana was allegedly with him for a number of years, during which we have to assume she felt loved and fulfilled (I wonder, though, had Charles, during that time, agreed to give up Camilla to try to get their marriage back on course, if she'd have stayed with Hewitt?) and, from what we're given to believe, spent time with him playing at being the girlfriend/wife she MIGHT have been had she not been Pcss of Wales. Because he gave her insight to that life she couldn't have failed to love him and lavish gifts on him, as she did with all those she loved.................for a time.

We can choose to call him a cad who was out for revenge or we can choose to believe he was being altruistic and seeking to show 'us' the Diana he knew. I suspect neither will be entirely correct. Like the rest of us, he's multi faceted and circumstances dictate.

 

[Denville]

I think he gave her some support intitally and it helped to give her some confidence, and to get ovr her bulimia. But he was very willing to take her presents and her affection and did not give anyting very solid in return. he is probably capable of a certain facile shallow charm..but even at his best, he wasn't a very solid individual... Hes reputed to have said that he knew about horses and sex and not much else. Diana turend to him because she needed someone, and given her situation, it was not easy fo her to find a lover, she was watched by the Press, she feared the RF would use any affairs she had against her, she feared the public might not forgive her for any affair.. so she was limited in whom she could turn to while her marriage was still officially supposed to be working and while the public still sort of believed it was a happy marriage..
Over time, I think when JH wanted to go to Germany for his career, she grew annoyed that he wanted to leave her alone and lonely, when she had so few people to support her and she broke off the affair. later, when he went to the Gulf, she experienced a certain admiration for him and a renewal of feeling.. and she wrote to him to support him in his time out there.. but he repaid her by starting to hint to the press that he was her lover. why would she not be angry at this and feel that this time the affair was off for good? and from then on, he used their relationsip to make money for himself, betrayed her, and after her death flogged the story till most people were sick of him...giving out other hints that he might be Harry's father or that "Di had told him this or that" such as that Barry M had been her lover as well. How on earth was that proper or decent behaviour??

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

With all the blame on Captain Hewitt, let us not forget that it takes two to tango. The Princess of Wales should not have been open for other gentlemen, in the first place (neither should the PoW have been open or Camilla, but another person's fault does not compensate for your own fault).

With all the vomit here on Captain Hewitt, let us not forget the role of the other partner with whom he once did dance the tango.

 

[Pranter]

Their relationship was between them and we don't know really a lot about it...my comments address his behavior AFTER it ended. That is why so much scorn is heaped on him by others.


LaRae

 

[Denville]

Their relationship was between them and we don't know really a lot about it...my comments address his behavior AFTER it ended. That is why so much scorn is heaped on him by others.


LaRae

True, it is nothing to do with the relationship with Diana.. that is literally their own affair.. it is how he used that relationship against Diana, and to make money which is caddish...