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  #1901  
Old 07-30-2016, 03:31 AM
Majesty
 
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That just would not have happened..Diana problaby was not conscously acting.. I'm sure she wasn't.. but she had completely fooled herself. And Charles shut down any ideas that he might have had, that would make him realise the romance wasn't likely to work out.
I think that it was probably inevitable that they would marry.. He had reached an age where he knew it was his duty.. he liked Di, and I think that in spite of what she said, he was vey attracted to her.. So if his friends really did tell him they thought it wasn't a good match he didn't listen..
And I think that the format of the courtship did sort of invite a bit of "acting". Diana knew she was on show to his friends and the royals, so she put her best foot forward, knowing that she was being expected to show that she could get on in his world.. and she problably thought that she could, that she DID enjoy all the fresh air and the tramping out after deer...and she just didn't think that after the wedding, this WOULD be her leisure time mapped out for her, most of it in the country, with the RF, and that London would be for work and an occasional concert..
I dont think she let herself think that this meant that she was leaving behind being able to go to the movies, or walk down the London streets, and gab with her girlfriends, to a large extent...
I think that Charles tended to think that if he didn't take to Di's friends, (And I dont think he did) that wasn't a problem. He wasn't being a tyrannical husband, He just thought that she had a fair bit of leisure time.. she coudl still see her friends on her own, and he did not need to include them in his life...and I think that that would have worked out fine, except that Diana and he had litlte in common when they WERE alone. I think it is perfeclty possible to have a good relationship where you maybe DON'T much like your partner's friends, or he yours but when the 2 of you are alone together you have lots to talk about...
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  #1902  
Old 07-30-2016, 03:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curryong View Post
f course a know the reasons against it and the fact that Diana was so young and in awe of Charles, but what a difference a bit of candour might have made to the future lives of both of them.

For instance "Being alone to enjoy my books and nature is so important to me, you know." "I don't mind the countryside or an ordered way of life, darling, but since I began living in London I realise I love the city life more". "Of course your friends are interesting Charles, but my friends are very important to me too. I'd love you to meet them. ---- suggested a supper or lunch at her place. Please come and chat with a few of them."

If only.
However, the romance would have petered out quite quickly, I feel, and there would then have been no marriage for us to discuss!
How do you know they did not speak about these things? Admittedly when they became engaged Diana did make much of enjoying the country life and after the marriage seemed allergic to it. But you are positing a theoretical possibility on how they could have improved their communication and by extension, their marriage by sheer dint of being more candid. How do you know they were not candid but did not like or accept what the other said. At one stage their communication was okay and then, like their marriage, it broke down. Gossip notwithstanding, we know nothing more about the intimate relationship Charles and Diana shared.
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  #1903  
Old 07-30-2016, 06:33 AM
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I don't think their marriage ever really got good footing. Super fast courtship and we know Diana already had concerns about Camilla before she married him.

She's somewhat shy and lacking in confidence, immature....pregnant within 3 months (IIRC) of her marriage, dealing with all the hormones and being in this fishbowl. Living with a man for the first time, trying to adjust to that whole royal way of life and a husband who from all accounts has always tended to be very much about himself. On top of that you are worried he's still involved (at least emotionally at this point) with his former mistress.


Hardly a surprise it collapsed.


LaRae
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  #1904  
Old 07-30-2016, 07:38 AM
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I suppose being worried about the other woman from the beginning wasn't the best way to start a life with an extremely high profile figure more than a decade older than you, especially when you were barely a member of the grown ups!

Engaged at 19, married at just turned 20 and a mother within a year - all under the eye of the camera lens and the RF officers.

It was called the fairytale wedding and realistically that was not short of the truth; it wasn't real. Not for Charles anyway and for Diana, I think she did believe it could happen, she just didn't have the wherewithall to deal with the reality that was Camilla.
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  #1905  
Old 07-30-2016, 04:02 PM
Majesty
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curryong View Post
Royals don't do a nine to five job that requires huge physical and mental effort. That is quite t
nvious of their Royal lot. They've also got to attract people to the causes and charities they represent, and crowds to observe their public engagements. It was this that Diana in particular was spectacularly good at, so good that she made it look easy. And it isn't.
I agree. I think for someone shy and quiet like Charles, or the queen its very difficult to be on show so much and to have to try and be charming and friendly...and to try and attract people to be interested in their causes and to give to their charities.
And I dont think ti was that easy for Diana either.. because I think that she was shy in one way.. because she was unsure of herself. But I think that more than Charles perhaps she realised how important the "charming people" was and worked at it. She looked pretty, she dressed up suitably, she wore clothes that were a nod to say the country she was visiting..
She knew that you have to make the big effort to look interested and smile and get on with people, to get them to like you..and take an interest in what you are promoting whether it be a charity or the RF as a whole or the UK...
So I think it is a terrible pity that she and Charles coudl not have worked together more, albeit of course they had to do separate work a lot of the time.. As she siad herself, she could do the smiling and hand shaking and he could do the serious speeches..and both are important as she knew..
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  #1906  
Old 08-02-2016, 04:21 PM
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I would say that we DO know rather more about their courtship than we do about other royal; pairs. Both of them have talked abt it, even if it was "he said" and "she said". ANd what emerges is that they were both very unsure..I think he had to nerve himself up, and she had to blidnd herself to a lot of the realites of royal life..
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  #1907  
Old 08-05-2016, 02:00 PM
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The argument could be made that we know too much.
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  #1908  
Old 08-05-2016, 06:08 PM
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Well as the saying goes there's his story, her story and the truth. And although I do think that we perhaps know too much I think that in one way it is good, because we know that royal marriages are no different to ordinary ones, and that people aren't perfect - and that they can get it badly wrong. So maybe that's good in that I think it brought about some changes in the RF, and how they get married- in hopes that they will have a better marital record in the next generation.
And I think that mostly reasonable royal watchers wont take either side wildly and uncritically and will realise that the truth is somewhere in between. Neithter of them IMO got things right, and neither of them was a monster of selfishness. They did their best, but it was a marriage that wasn't really meant to be, and I think they would have had to lower their expectations a lot, to accept it and make it work as things stood. and probably both of them would have been happier with other people, Charles certainly seems happy with Cam, and perhaps Di would have found love with someone else, had she lived..

But given the marriage that they had, I think that they TRIED to make it work and if they gave up too soon, well, they're only human.
And I feel that they might have been better to lower their expectations and try and stick it out, and do their best for the sake of the monarchy...and maybe they would have ended up friends...
But overall I think they both tried and it's not fair to demonise either of them..
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  #1909  
Old 08-05-2016, 10:04 PM
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During their courtship did Lady Diana join Prince Charles aboard the royal yacht Britannia?
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  #1910  
Old 08-05-2016, 11:55 PM
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Yes, he invited her on sailing weekends to Cowes
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  #1911  
Old 08-08-2016, 01:46 AM
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Pushed beyond endurance: Yes, Diana could be a difficult woman. But read this honest account by her loyal bodyguard of the true provocations she faced in her marriage and decide: how would YOU have coped? * | Daily Mail Online
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  #1912  
Old 08-08-2016, 02:27 AM
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I love stories like this that leave at a crucial point - by the time of the event described in this story Diana had been having her own affair for three years with James Hewitt - further evidence that she wanted things all her own way.
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  #1913  
Old 08-08-2016, 02:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iluvbertie View Post
I love stories like this that leave at a crucial point - by the time of the event described in this story Diana had been having her own affair for three years with James Hewitt - further evidence that she wanted things all her own way.
I think she wanted it all to end. How can one do it when one was in too deep?
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  #1914  
Old 08-08-2016, 03:37 AM
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We can, as you say, 'think' we know what Diana was thinking, but we have no way of knowing.

At the time this was written, Hewitt had been her lover for three years and it is impossible to imagine that Charles was ignorant of that fact. That he could be cutting and cruel is not surprising, what is surprising is that the DM expect us to believe this drivel when it was written by a man who was also fully cognisant of Diana's infidelity but expected us to believe him because of who he was, a Police Inspector who wouldn't lie. Would he?
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  #1915  
Old 08-08-2016, 06:06 AM
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A biased article at its best : she was the victim, he was evil and the BRF even worse blah blah blah.... and was probably murdered at the end (see the comments).
Nothing new i'm afraid (sigh)
But wait a minute, of course we are in August ! The christmas period for all the Diana related books/articles/gossips/garbage. Just make a wish and Richard Kay will appear with a good story: how fun !
Next year will be worse though...
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  #1916  
Old 08-08-2016, 06:43 AM
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Yes, Diana will have been dead for twenty years next year. Gone too soon, and I still think about her sometimes. Her sons might do something to mark the anniversary.
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  #1917  
Old 08-08-2016, 11:51 AM
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Wasn't it around this time (1989) that Diana had broken up with Hewitt and had taken up with James Gilbey? If she wasn't in a relationship of her own at that time, she might have been feeling more lonely than usual--hence the attempt to confront Camilla.
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  #1918  
Old 08-08-2016, 04:19 PM
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She dumped Hewitt when he returned from the Middle East in 1991.

She also was with Gilbey in 1989.

In other words she was having two affairs at the same time.
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  #1919  
Old 08-08-2016, 04:28 PM
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So there wasn't much "Charles and Diana" left by then (re: title of this thread) or to paraphrase Laurel and Hardy "that's a nice mess they had gotten themselves into"
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  #1920  
Old 08-08-2016, 04:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
Ultimately Diana craved stability and for someone to love her forever, no matter what. Marrying the, 'only man in England who can never divorce me' seemed to be a good idea at the time.


LaRae
That's true, and I think, even more that Diana had no taste for country life. Certainly not at 19 or 20.
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