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  #1761  
Old 07-06-2016, 08:25 PM
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In most marriage there is a flower and a gardener. In this marriage there were two flowers, so no one was tended to. Charles and Diana both grew up in a less than warm environment. I think Diana decided to be huggy and kissy. What she missed. That is not Charles style. That doesn't mean that he doesn't care. They couldn't communicate. And Charles had the rigid life that he was used to. And he just needed to fill a void, which was a proper princess.
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  #1762  
Old 07-06-2016, 10:00 PM
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Originally Posted by WreathOfLaurels View Post
Catherine Meyer's bio of Charles makes the point of his emotional immaturity and just how emotionally febrile he was as well. Their similarities had as much to with the breakdown of the relationship as did their differences. Meyer also mentions the generation gap between the two (Charles was born in 1948 and Diana in 1961) as a factor as well.
WreathofLaurels, Thank you for mentioning about the generation gap. Diana was actually closer in age to her brothers-in-law, Andrew and Edward.
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  #1763  
Old 07-06-2016, 10:30 PM
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Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla View Post
WreathofLaurels, Thank you for mentioning about the generation gap. Diana was actually closer in age to her brothers-in-law, Andrew and Edward.
I always thought Diana would have been better off with Andrew for that reason and that they seemed a better suited couple overall.
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  #1764  
Old 07-07-2016, 03:19 AM
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Originally Posted by LauraS3514 View Post
And there's the crux of the issue. The Prince of Wales was 32 when he proposed to a 19 year old with stars in her eyes. Charles, knowing how he felt about Camilla, had absolutely no business proposing marriage to Diana or anyone else under any circumstances - not even with full disclosure of his love for Camilla. It was patently unfair to not only Diana, but to himself as well. That being said, there's more than enough blame to go around once the marriage was a reality; no one came out well.
He did not have a choice. He had to get married fairly soon, and put aside his feeligns for Cam.
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  #1765  
Old 07-07-2016, 03:24 AM
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Originally Posted by WreathOfLaurels View Post
Their similarities had as much to with the breakdown of the relationship as did their differences. Meyer also mentions the generation gap between the two (Charles was born in 1948 and Diana in 1961) as a factor as well.
I think this is what it all boils down to, when all is said and done.
Generally there can be no harm in an age gap between couples - countless marriages work perfectly well with such an age difference. But it makes me wonder had Charles and Diana met and married 10 years later, keeping the age gap mind, they may both have been mature enough to manage and understand one another's differences better.
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  #1766  
Old 07-07-2016, 05:39 AM
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but the point was, he had to get married, before he was much past 30, and have an heir and give the country a princess to admire who would help with his duties. and he had to marry a girl with no past, so that meant a young woman.
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  #1767  
Old 07-07-2016, 06:23 AM
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@Jacknch - Meyer said a generation gap not an age gap. Diana was a baby boomer and Charles was born in the tail end of the 1940s. There have been marriages with similar age gaps which have been successful but those ones often mean one of the partners being very mature or coming within the same generational band. on top of that Charles always belonged more to his parents generation in many ways, which would have exacerbated things.
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  #1768  
Old 07-07-2016, 11:12 AM
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The more we read and realize and talk about all the major differences between Charles and Diana and the different factors that played a huge role in the downfall of a "fairy tale" marriage, the more I'm realizing that so much heartache could have been avoided had these two people taken time for a longer courtship and engagement period and really had gotten to know each other, cemented a friendship or realized that they were just too different to really make a good partnership.

Its a real life example of "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" kind of thing.
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  #1769  
Old 07-07-2016, 12:07 PM
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how could that have happened? The press were persecuting them, his family were urging him to get on with it. I'm sure if Diana's family were doing anyting, they wantd her future settled...
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  #1770  
Old 07-07-2016, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
The more we read and realize and talk about all the major differences between Charles and Diana and the different factors that played a huge role in the downfall of a "fairy tale" marriage, the more I'm realizing that so much heartache could have been avoided had these two people taken time for a longer courtship and engagement period and really had gotten to know each other, cemented a friendship or realized that they were just too different to really make a good partnership.

Its a real life example of "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" kind of thing.
I agree Osipi this is a perfect example of "fools rush in.." As it is so often with these types of situations, hindsight is 20-20.

Neither of them spent enough time really getting to know each other and I don't believe that either was honest regarding their interests, values, and expectations for the marriage. There were those in their circle who tried to warn them that they were incompatible. Charles should have informed Diana regarding his past with Camilla and his then current friendship with her.

While it would have been distressing to end the engagement and call of the wedding, in the long run it would have been better for both of them.
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  #1771  
Old 07-07-2016, 02:58 PM
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I thought that Charles did tell Di that he had been in love with Cam, that she was still a good friend but that now, he loived her.(ie Diana). I simply cant beleive she didn't know.. Unless she lived in a cave, didnt' read the gossip columns or talk with anyone in her circle, where there was plenty of gossip about his close relationship with CPB... She must have known that Cam was a past girlfriend..I mean during her courtship, she was staying at Cam's house, Did she think that it was a hotel? She must have known that she was invited there because Cam was Chas' ex and good friend and was willing to host his current girlfriend...
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  #1772  
Old 07-07-2016, 03:26 PM
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I think Diana pretty much knew the score when meeting Charles' friends and staying at friend's homes for weekend parties etc. Perhaps a more mature person could see and accept a spouse being close friends with someone they once had a romance with and had remained close friends with and not feel threatened by it.

Personally, I believe that a lot of the problems Diana faced in the early years of marriage wasn't so much that her husband had a wandering eye or was wishing he could be with someone else but rather the fear of the possibility that this is what he would do so her solution was elimination. Diana also seems to be, to me, the type of a person that would have demanded her husband put her first in everything regardless of if it was his friends, his royal role or even his staff. She needed to be his top priority and be put on pedestal, admired and his love for her constantly being professed and visibly shown for happily ever after. She felt threatened by his friends, his staff and his position even as Prince of Wales to the point that she tried her hardest to control and manipulate things to how she wanted them to be and eventually that did turn Charles away from her in the long run as more and more, Charles was isolated from his friends, had problems conducting his life as he deemed it should be run and even had staff being fired or quitting because they couldn't work amicably with his wife. Any person in this kind of a situation would have felt smothered and controlled and by yielding to her wishes, would make it not a happy way to live.

Is it really any wonder then that Diana gradually sought the public adoration and publicity she garnered? She was getting from the public what she felt she should have been getting from her husband. It was very easy too from this perspective to eventually overshadow her husband with hoping he'd sit up and take notice of just what he was missing out on and he'd be on his knees at her feet gazing adoringly up at her once again and toe the line she wanted him to.

Real life doesn't work that way.
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  #1773  
Old 07-07-2016, 03:54 PM
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I think she really did need that encouragement and attention, sad state she must have been in. But really Charles does not seem the type to really be patient with that sort of thing. I understand both sides. Her childhood, I imagine, was not filled with the love and stability that a child needs so she must have yearned for it as an adult. But that clinginess can be highly suffocating to the partner and unfair.

Like TLLK and Osipi said, could have been avoided if they'd really been honest with themselves and spent the time to truly get to know one another. Oh well, what's done is done I suppose. Two good children (and now men) came of the marriage. Unfortunately, a whole lot of hurt and embarrassment did as well.
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  #1774  
Old 07-07-2016, 10:33 PM
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When Prince Charles courted Lady Diana, he gave her a book as a Christmas present.

As Diana mastered the art of royal public appearance, she began to upstage her husband. For every new speech he made, she would wear a different hairstyle or hat.

Do you believe that if Prince Charles and Princess Diana had not had a child so early, Diana would have had more time to learn about royal duties?


For their sixth wedding anniversary in 1987 Prince Charles and Princess Diana went their separate ways. Charles was in Cornwall. Diana was in Tidworth.

Would you say that the courtship of Charles and Diana was too brief?

When they were dating, did Prince Charles take Lady Diana to any of the places that she wanted to go to?
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  #1775  
Old 07-07-2016, 10:41 PM
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When they were on their honeymoon, Charles also brought along some books. He thought they could read them and discuss them. That didn't go over too well I guess.
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  #1776  
Old 07-07-2016, 11:05 PM
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Originally Posted by HistoryGirl View Post
I think she really did need that encouragement and attention, sad state she must have been in. But really Charles does not seem the type to really be patient with that sort of thing. I understand both sides. Her childhood, I imagine, was not filled with the love and stability that a child needs so she must have yearned for it as an adult. But that clinginess can be highly suffocating to the partner and unfair.

Like TLLK and Osipi said, could have been avoided if they'd really been honest with themselves and spent the time to truly get to know one another. Oh well, what's done is done I suppose. Two good children (and now men) came of the marriage. Unfortunately, a whole lot of hurt and embarrassment did as well.
well 2 children came out of it...
sadly, Diana's magic which was so evident in the early years, and which could IMO have been used by the RF, was let go.
I can quite understand that she felt she wanted Charles' undivided attention, but I can understand that he felt restless because he had assumed she was more mature than to want him by her, all the time.. not thinking that she was very young for her age.. and he wasn't IMO the type of man to be that devoted to any one person. I think he was capable of being a reasonably affectionate husband and father, but probably not to the extent that many women would want. I think that even if Di hadn't had a neurotic need for him- other women less neurotic might also have felt that he was too busy with his work and his hobbies to be really there as a husband and father.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WreathOfLaurels View Post
I always thought Diana would have been better off with Andrew for that reason and that they seemed a better suited couple overall.
OK Andrew isn't very clever and neither was Diana but I don't believe they had anything in common. or that she would settle for the second son if she could have the first. And I don't believe she was And's type either.
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  #1777  
Old 07-07-2016, 11:33 PM
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Yes, I think Andrew, who can be a bit boisterous himself, preferred women who were life and soul of the party types. Diana could be quite witty and jokey but I don't believe she ever thought of Andrew as a prospective partner or he her.
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  #1778  
Old 07-08-2016, 12:55 AM
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Andrew and Fergie were well suited in personality....they just had other issues. Can't imagine Diana meshing with Andrew, too different in a different way.


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  #1779  
Old 07-08-2016, 01:28 AM
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I never said my idea was a good one.
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  #1780  
Old 07-08-2016, 10:39 AM
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Yes, I think Andrew, who can be a bit boisterous himself, preferred women who were life and soul of the party types. Diana could be quite witty and jokey but I don't believe she ever thought of Andrew as a prospective partner or he her.
Certanly not his type. I think she did like to join in Fergie's roistering at times but she was only mildly "into that." She liked pranks and silly stuff, but she wasn't as boisterous as Fergie. She was prone to depression and sadness, and not as able to "bounce around" out of it as Sarah was. I think that Andy probalby mildly liked Diana but probably found her too serious.
and I dont believe that Di woudl have fallen in love with Andy if she had a hope of Charles..

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I never said my idea was a good one.
but you said she and Andy seemed better suited. Of course she wasn't suited to Chas, but A was TOO much of a heart Hooray Henry. I suspect what she needed was someone who wasn't too clever, shared her interests but wasn't into "makng the world better" (when she was 19 or so).. but had a calm temperament and common sense.. who could be indulgent and affectionate but not let Diana's dramatic emotions get out of hand
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