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  #2941  
Old 08-04-2018, 07:38 AM
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Perhaps, and this is me just surmising on things, that after the short courtship where Charles basically went about the business that was his life, during the their times together, Diana put her best foot forward and was the perfect, agreeable lady comfortable to be with Charles. They enjoyed their times together immensely if I'm remembering right and from those times, Charles came to believe that he could be happy with Diana by his side.

Perhaps Diana thought that once married, things would change and Charles would magically turn into the doting, forever in love adoring husband always and forever putting Diana first. What happened is that, like during the courtship and the engagement, Charles tended to business first and foremost. He most likely thought that Diana would be complacent when it came to the long hours he spent fulfilling his role as Prince of Wales and building his charitable projects. In other words, life was the same after the marriage as it was before the marriage when it came to Charles' day.

When Charles did have his down time, it turns out that Diana didn't particularly relish him spending it the way he liked to all the time. The country was boring. His books didn't interest her at all. She wasn't keen on his past times and his friends. She didn't really fit into that mold. The incompatibility stood out like a sore thumb. She felt left out, second rate and that was not her idea of a loving marriage at all and the fairy tale image shattered into a million pieces.

I do think they both tried and they did find that parenting was something they totally and completely agreed on but their level of intimacy as partners in a marriage never flourished and they found themselves drifting further apart than they were growing together.

As for the interview and the "love" question. There are so many different definitions of what love means that it could be a subject of discussion until the cows come home. As Denville stated, love means different things to different people. For some, love may mean total devotion and adoration and for another it could be a hot cup of tea after a very long day. Charles and Diana's only area where their love was on the same page, to me, was their love for their sons and their goals in raising them. In that area, they can't be faulted and those boys have the best of both parents in their character makeup today.
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  #2942  
Old 08-04-2018, 07:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsaritsa View Post
I may not have put it well, Denville. I was not referring to anything in your post when I mentioned "thinking either personally or collectively". I understand that unless we know people personally, there is little more we CAN do, than "think", but I was actually referring to the possibility that the RF and Charles only THOUGHT, individually and collectively, that Diana was au fait with what being a royal wife entailed, ie assumed rather than checked it out with her.
sorry I misinterpreted... I agree that yes, Charles and the RF IMO pretty definitely DID believe that Diana knew the ropes.. and didn't need to be advised on the pitfals of Royal life.. but I think they found out gradually that she wasn't as well versed as they believed. But I'd assume they thought that since her Grandmother was the QM's lady in wating, her father had been a courtier, etc, she was bound to know the basics...
I think that was one reason the queen intervened to ask the Press to back off, because she realised by then that Diana hadn't been that well versed, and that she was having a very hard time adjusting to royal life.. and to a press attention that was greater than for most royal brides...
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  #2943  
Old 08-04-2018, 07:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
PeP
When Charles did have his down time, it turns out that Diana didn't particularly relish him spending it the way he liked to all the time. The country was boring. His books didn't interest her at all. She wasn't keen on his past times and his friends. She didn't really fit into that mold. The incompatibility stood out like a sore thumb. She felt left out, second rate and that was not her idea of a loving marriage at all and the fairy tale image shattered into a million pieces.

Icharacter makeup today.
I think that's true, that it was once they were married and spending a lot of time having "free time" on the honeymoon that Diana woke up from her dream.
SHe realised that Charles wasn't going to be sititng holding her hand and talking lightly about love all the time.. that his hobbies were boring her now, whereas before she had hypnotised herself on their weekend visits, into thinking she was enjoying them. She realised that he was not that fascinating to talk to, when he was holding forth about things she didn't understand or take any interest in...
And the RF was the same.. on occasional visits they had some glamour for her, but now she was seeing them up close and again found them over formal and pretty boring, yapping on about sport all the time..

She was scared of putting a foot wrong, at Balmoral but she was bored and unhappy, and she began to get really depressed and her bulimia caused mood swings and erratic behaviour..
In Charles' defence, I think he coudlnt quite understand how she had become so moody, difficult and weepy after being sweet and apparently happy with his company before... and he hoped it was just her pregnancy that was making her moody unwell and unhappy... but of course there was more to it...
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  #2944  
Old 08-04-2018, 08:05 AM
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There's truth to the saying that one never really knows another person until they've lived day to day with each other and witnessed every single mood, idiosyncrasies, and dragon breath in the morning with bed head.

Happily ever after is a fairy tale. Reality hits below the belt sometimes.
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  #2945  
Old 08-04-2018, 08:36 AM
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I think there was more to the failaure of the marriage than the relationship between the 2 of them.. in that Diana also found that she was uncomfortable with the RF as a whole.. Nowadays, I think the queen is more flexible her family's routines.. She does not expect them all to trurn up for Xmas, or shooting..and for the men and women who are married into the RF to leave their familes behind.. but back then, there was a bit of a 3 line whip that they were expected to turn up for Xmas, the Shootitng Season etc to stay with her and Diana found it stressful...
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  #2946  
Old 08-04-2018, 10:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
Perhaps, and this is me just surmising on things, that after the short courtship where Charles basically went about the business that was his life, during the their times together, Diana put her best foot forward and was the perfect, agreeable lady comfortable to be with Charles. They enjoyed their times together immensely if I'm remembering right and from those times, Charles came to believe that he could be happy with Diana by his side.

Perhaps Diana thought that once married, things would change and Charles would magically turn into the doting, forever in love adoring husband always and forever putting Diana first. What happened is that, like during the courtship and the engagement, Charles tended to business first and foremost. He most likely thought that Diana would be complacent when it came to the long hours he spent fulfilling his role as Prince of Wales and building his charitable projects. In other words, life was the same after the marriage as it was before the marriage when it came to Charles' day.

When Charles did have his down time, it turns out that Diana didn't particularly relish him spending it the way he liked to all the time. The country was boring. His books didn't interest her at all. She wasn't keen on his past times and his friends. She didn't really fit into that mold. The incompatibility stood out like a sore thumb. She felt left out, second rate and that was not her idea of a loving marriage at all and the fairy tale image shattered into a million pieces.

I do think they both tried and they did find that parenting was something they totally and completely agreed on but their level of intimacy as partners in a marriage never flourished and they found themselves drifting further apart than they were growing together.

As for the interview and the "love" question. There are so many different definitions of what love means that it could be a subject of discussion until the cows come home. As Denville stated, love means different things to different people. For some, love may mean total devotion and adoration and for another it could be a hot cup of tea after a very long day. Charles and Diana's only area where their love was on the same page, to me, was their love for their sons and their goals in raising them. In that area, they can't be faulted and those boys have the best of both parents in their character makeup today.

A very well put and insightful post, Osipi.
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  #2947  
Old 08-04-2018, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denville View Post
I think that's true, that it was once they were married and spending a lot of time having "free time" on the honeymoon that Diana woke up from her dream.
SHe realised that Charles wasn't going to be sititng holding her hand and talking lightly about love all the time.. that his hobbies were boring her now, whereas before she had hypnotised herself on their weekend visits, into thinking she was enjoying them. She realised that he was not that fascinating to talk to, when he was holding forth about things she didn't understand or take any interest in...
And the RF was the same.. on occasional visits they had some glamour for her, but now she was seeing them up close and again found them over formal and pretty boring, yapping on about sport all the time..

She was scared of putting a foot wrong, at Balmoral but she was bored and unhappy, and she began to get really depressed and her bulimia caused mood swings and erratic behaviour..
In Charles' defence, I think he coudlnt quite understand how she had become so moody, difficult and weepy after being sweet and apparently happy with his company before... and he hoped it was just her pregnancy that was making her moody unwell and unhappy... but of course there was more to it...
Ha! I hate bringing personal 'stuff' into it but you've said it EXACTLY as it was for some of us, Denville. I went into a marriage -about which I had doubts which turned out to be justified- thinking that everything was going to be different from how it was pre-marriage and it would all be wonderful and we'd live happily ever after. Well, Shock! Horror!! It wasn't, it wasn't, and we didn't. What I DID learn was that whilst I could have walked away pre-marriage, it became far more difficult post marriage.
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  #2948  
Old 08-04-2018, 04:55 PM
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It was harldy the same for Charles and Diana as for most people, since unless they had religious objections or issues like very straitened finances, it would be possible for most ordinary people n the west to leave an unhappy marriage.. However it wasn't that way for C and Diana, neither of them could just walk out, boht knew that before they married. In fact once they were engaged officially it was pretty much impossible for them to get out of the engagmenent...
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  #2949  
Old 08-04-2018, 11:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsaritsa View Post
.......I still think there may have been a -stilted? affirming?- "Yes" at the end of the interview.
Agree. Who has not had moments reminiscent of an 'elevator' shaft at a time when something we never expect to hear, suddenly sails out of the blue yonder. A giggle can work effectively to camouflage a small panic attack.
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  #2950  
Old 08-19-2018, 09:41 PM
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At the time that Diana met Charles (the onset of their courtship), I don't think Diana felt lonely at all. She had other things going on in her life. She was working as a teacher's assistant at a kindergarten, she lived with roommates that were close friends and continued to have a social life with them.

I would even bet my last muffin that she didn't actually spend enough time with Charles to actually feel a sense of loneliness when he wasn't around or he was busy. They didn't really spend that much time together at all before they became engaged to be married.
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  #2951  
Old 08-19-2018, 10:07 PM
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I think I read they saw each other 13 times before they became engaged. They really didn't know each other past the surface.


LaRae
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  #2952  
Old 08-20-2018, 01:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
I think I read they saw each other 13 times before they became engaged. They really didn't know each other past the surface.


LaRae
I agree that they didn't know each other tat well but I think this thing that they only met 12 or 13 times is not the case. They spent weekends together, they had evening dates in London, Di visited Balmoral. There was more im sure than a handful of dinner dates....
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  #2953  
Old 08-20-2018, 01:52 AM
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Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla View Post
How lonely do you think Lady Diana felt when she first became acquainted with Prince Charles?
Why would she feel lonely? DO you mean she felt lonely because of Charles not being the most attentive boyfriend or that she was lonely at the time they began their courtship....
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  #2954  
Old 08-20-2018, 03:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla View Post
How lonely do you think Lady Diana felt when she first became acquainted with Prince Charles?
In that first flush of new and exciting romance, probably. not at all. I imagine even the press interest -later to become intrusion- was exciting to a girl whose previous claims to fame had probably been her birth announcement in the Times/Telegraph, or an occasional entry in The Tatler. I think the loneliness may have started when she found herself alone in her room at Buckingham Palace and the realization hit her that giggling about this moment with her flat mates was very different from the reality.
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  #2955  
Old 08-20-2018, 10:25 PM
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If she felt lonely why not break up and find someone who didn't make her feel that way?

Either she didn't feel lonely or she was so determined to be his wife that she didn't care that he wasn't attentive.
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  #2956  
Old 08-21-2018, 05:05 PM
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At that point, I think that she just wanted the interview over with. That's my reading of the curt "yes" and her general demeanor. She was taken aback by what Prince Charles said. That can be seen a few seconds after he said it.

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Originally Posted by Tsaritsa View Post
No waffle. I think both are appropriate................I still think there may have been a -stilted? affirming?- "Yes" at the end of the interview.
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  #2957  
Old 08-21-2018, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla View Post
How lonely do you think Diana felt when she was the Princess of Wales?
She appears to have lived a very vivid life as the Princess of Wales.
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  #2958  
Old 08-22-2018, 12:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla View Post
How lonely do you think Diana felt when she was the Princess of Wales?
From what I've read, Diana never seemed to be comfortable in her own skin when she was left to her own devices. Its been stated in many places that Diana always seemed to be glued to her phone or had ear buds playing music from her walkman or even went in search of staff to talk to.

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. I do believe that Diana was searching for an all encompassing love that surrounded her and that was something that she never found. She was very much a people person more so than she was a introverted soul that preferred to be alone. Perhaps thats a reason why she never could understand Charles and his need to be alone in his own world sometimes painting or hiking or fishing and in general, seeking solitude. In that respect, Charles and Diana were two totally opposite kind of people.

When two people share a life together and have little to nothing in common, there's little they enjoy together and that, in and of itself, can create loneliness and longing for something different.
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  #2959  
Old 08-22-2018, 01:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Lady Nimue View Post
She appears to have lived a very vivid life as the Princess of Wales.
I don't know what is meant by a vivid life, but it does not mean that she may not have been lonely..
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  #2960  
Old 08-22-2018, 01:20 AM
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Diana always felt lonely even before her wedding to Charles. Due to her mother's abandonment and her older sisters not being around when she was younger.
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