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  #681  
Old 12-23-2021, 11:50 AM
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What a lovely Holiday greetings card. Happy to see Lili and Archie.
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  #682  
Old 12-23-2021, 11:56 AM
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That is a beautiful picture of their family, I think little Lili seems to resemble her brother around the same age!
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  #683  
Old 12-23-2021, 12:05 PM
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A very sweet and joyful family photo of the four of them! I love it. The photographer knew just when to snap when everyone in the setting were expressing joy and laughter and all the good feelings that come with the holidays. Nothing seemed faked at all.

My first thought seeing it? "She's a ginger too like her daddy!" Archie is definitely Harry's mini me.
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  #684  
Old 12-23-2021, 12:15 PM
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It's simply lovely and IMO their best family photo to date.
  #685  
Old 12-23-2021, 12:56 PM
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The Sussex Christmas card is nice and joyful.
  #686  
Old 12-23-2021, 01:24 PM
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How lovely to see a picture of Lilibet at last, and it's been so long since the last picture of Archie that I don't think I'd have recognised him! He's definitely got the Spencer red hair, and it looks as if she has too! Has Archie got a look of his grandmother Diana?
  #687  
Old 12-23-2021, 01:44 PM
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One of the most prevalent micro aggressions/ toxic things people say at the holidays is how an event in their life that year “made them a family.” It is very othering and painful for people who long for those events and implies that because they did not get married/ have a second baby/ have a baby of the other sex they are somehow not part of a “family” or their family is less complete. As someone who has struggled with this personally in particular this year and this holiday season, I went from absolute delight when I saw the picture to feeling ice cold when I read the greeting. Lovely card, tone deaf words.
  #688  
Old 12-23-2021, 01:51 PM
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It implies no such thing. All it implies is that the arrival of Lili made them feel that their family is complete. They're not speaking in general terms, they're speaking for themselves. I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles though.
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  #689  
Old 12-23-2021, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by HighGoalHighDreams View Post
One of the most prevalent micro aggressions/ toxic things people say at the holidays is how an event in their life that year “made them a family.” It is very othering and painful for people who long for those events and implies that because they did not get married/ have a second baby/ have a baby of the other sex they are somehow not part of a “family” or their family is less complete. As someone who has struggled with this personally in particular this year and this holiday season, I went from absolute delight when I saw the picture to feeling ice cold when I read the greeting. Lovely card, tone deaf words.
I'm also one of those people. I've always wanted a family, but I'm single and couldn't afford becoming a parent on my own. I don't begrudge other people starting a family though. On my own I'm not a couple or a family and the idea that other people have to dance around on their toes as to not offend me is just silly. If this is how they feel then that's fine.
  #690  
Old 12-23-2021, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by HighGoalHighDreams View Post
One of the most prevalent micro aggressions/ toxic things people say at the holidays is how an event in their life that year “made them a family.” It is very othering and painful for people who long for those events and implies that because they did not get married/ have a second baby/ have a baby of the other sex they are somehow not part of a “family” or their family is less complete. As someone who has struggled with this personally in particular this year and this holiday season, I went from absolute delight when I saw the picture to feeling ice cold when I read the greeting. Lovely card, tone deaf words.
I must have missed the words somehow, someway. I'll blame it on taking happy pills (surgery yesterday). Reading them here, I can see where they could be interpreted in a myriad of ways and maybe expressed better.

I think perhaps the rudest thing I read yesterday was a story about a mother-in-law that bought Christmas pajamas that match for her son's entire family *except* for the child that was the wife's by a previous marriage.

Prime example of a Grinch with no heart and no clue how to be human.
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  #691  
Old 12-23-2021, 02:48 PM
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Very beautiful card. The children are so cute.
  #692  
Old 12-23-2021, 03:38 PM
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Beautiful card! Looks like both children may have inherited their dad’s hair.
  #693  
Old 12-23-2021, 04:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighGoalHighDreams View Post
One of the most prevalent micro aggressions/ toxic things people say at the holidays is how an event in their life that year “made them a family.” It is very othering and painful for people who long for those events and implies that because they did not get married/ have a second baby/ have a baby of the other sex they are somehow not part of a “family” or their family is less complete. As someone who has struggled with this personally in particular this year and this holiday season, I went from absolute delight when I saw the picture to feeling ice cold when I read the greeting. Lovely card, tone deaf words.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Archduchess Zelia View Post
It implies no such thing. All it implies is that the arrival of Lili made them feel that their family is complete. They're not speaking in general terms, they're speaking for themselves. I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles though.
Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.
  #694  
Old 12-23-2021, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
I must have missed the words somehow, someway. I'll blame it on taking happy pills (surgery yesterday). Reading them here, I can see where they could be interpreted in a myriad of ways and maybe expressed better.

I think perhaps the rudest thing I read yesterday was a story about a mother-in-law that bought Christmas pajamas that match for her son's entire family *except* for the child that was the wife's by a previous marriage.

Prime example of a Grinch with no heart and no clue how to be human.
Osipi, I saw it too; my heart ached for that child that was excluded from getting a pajama present from grandma.
  #695  
Old 12-23-2021, 04:21 PM
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Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.

'This year we welcomed our daughter, Lilibet, to the world. Archie made us a "Mama and Papa" and Lili made us a family,' their message read.

Clearly they were talking about themselves and their own situtation.
  #696  
Old 12-23-2021, 05:01 PM
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Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.
Yes, that they weren't a family until Lili arrived. Not that "you" aren't a family until you have a boy named Archie and a girl named Lilibet. I have no idea, frankly, how you derive "you aren't a real family until you have two children" from them speaking solely for their own family.

I don't for one second doubt that it's stupidly hard to see people have children if you, for whatever reason, are not able to yourself. I have people close to me in that situation and it's heartbreaking for them. But we simply cannot be living in a world where people aren't allowed to express joy for their own family constellations out of fear of hurting people who aren't able to live the same exact experience. It's a pretty far-fetched thing to ask of people[…]
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  #697  
Old 12-23-2021, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Archduchess Zelia View Post
Yes, that they weren't a family until Lili arrived. Not that "you" aren't a family until you have a boy named Archie and a girl named Lilibet. I have no idea, frankly, how you derive "you aren't a real family until you have two children" them speaking solely for their own family.

I don't for one second doubt that it's stupidly hard to see people have children if you, for whatever reason, are not able to yourself. I have people close to me in that situation and it's heartbreaking for them. But we simply cannot be living in a world where people aren't allowed to express joy for their own family constellations out of fear of hurting people who aren't able to live the same exact experience. It's a pretty far-fetched thing to ask of people[…]
This 100000000%
I suspect whatever Meghan and Harry wrote about their family would have had people clutching a their pearls etc. I totally understand what Meghan and Harry wrote. My family felt complete once I had my second child. I say my first made me a mother and my second made my family complete and no one battered an eyelid.

I too have many friends who struggled to concieve, including a beloved twin sister and not once were they upset when I expressed gratitude for my children - including saying what I forementioned. Gratitude helps bond people - it is how I found out one of my husband's friends too 8 years to concieve their first. It was only after I expressed gratitude on how quickly I fell pregnant that she confided in me and became closer friends.

The photo is beautiful - their family is gorgeous. Let's focus on the beauty of that, especially during these trying and difficult times
  #698  
Old 12-23-2021, 06:18 PM
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What a nice picture. Lili looks like her big brother when he visited Desmond Tutu.
  #699  
Old 12-23-2021, 06:53 PM
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It’s a lovely photo of a very happy and smiling family is all I’m taking from this. The couple are happy together and plainly adore their children. I’m glad for them. I think both Archie and Lili are/will be redheads. Hope to see more of Lili as she grows and of Archie with his curls too.
  #700  
Old 12-23-2021, 07:05 PM
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I don't think it's "pearl-clutching". Simply that Harry and Meghan have the ability to upset very easily for whatever reason. Also an endless need to expound.

They could have just said "joyous wishes for the New Year", 'here's where your donations are going', and left it at a beautiful photo of them and their children.

Less is only more with them when it's not serving some purpose.
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