The Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Family, News and Events 6: Aug. 2021- Oct. 2022

[Sandy345]

Very beautiful card. The children are so cute.

 

[Curbside]

Beautiful card! Looks like both children may have inherited their dad’s hair.

 

[Somebody]

One of the most prevalent micro aggressions/ toxic things people say at the holidays is how an event in their life that year “made them a family.” It is very othering and painful for people who long for those events and implies that because they did not get married/ have a second baby/ have a baby of the other sex they are somehow not part of a “family” or their family is less complete. As someone who has struggled with this personally in particular this year and this holiday season, I went from absolute delight when I saw the picture to feeling ice cold when I read the greeting. Lovely card, tone deaf words.

It implies no such thing. All it implies is that the arrival of Lili made them feel that their family is complete. They're not speaking in general terms, they're speaking for themselves. I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles though.

Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.

 

[Fijiro]

I must have missed the words somehow, someway. I'll blame it on taking happy pills (surgery yesterday). Reading them here, I can see where they could be interpreted in a myriad of ways and maybe expressed better.

I think perhaps the rudest thing I read yesterday was a story about a mother-in-law that bought Christmas pajamas that match for her son's entire family *except* for the child that was the wife's by a previous marriage.

Prime example of a Grinch with no heart and no clue how to be human.

Osipi, I saw it too; my heart ached for that child that was excluded from getting a pajama present from grandma.

 

[Lucy Scot]

Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.

'This year we welcomed our daughter, Lilibet, to the world. Archie made us a "Mama and Papa" and Lili made us a family,' their message read.

Clearly they were talking about themselves and their own situtation.

 

[Archduchess Zelia]

Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.

Yes, that they weren't a family until Lili arrived. Not that "you" aren't a family until you have a boy named Archie and a girl named Lilibet. I have no idea, frankly, how you derive "you aren't a real family until you have two children" from them speaking solely for their own family.

I don't for one second doubt that it's stupidly hard to see people have children if you, for whatever reason, are not able to yourself. I have people close to me in that situation and it's heartbreaking for them. But we simply cannot be living in a world where people aren't allowed to express joy for their own family constellations out of fear of hurting people who aren't able to live the same exact experience. It's a pretty far-fetched thing to ask of people[…]

 

[CrownPrincessJava]

Yes, that they weren't a family until Lili arrived. Not that "you" aren't a family until you have a boy named Archie and a girl named Lilibet. I have no idea, frankly, how you derive "you aren't a real family until you have two children" them speaking solely for their own family.

I don't for one second doubt that it's stupidly hard to see people have children if you, for whatever reason, are not able to yourself. I have people close to me in that situation and it's heartbreaking for them. But we simply cannot be living in a world where people aren't allowed to express joy for their own family constellations out of fear of hurting people who aren't able to live the same exact experience. It's a pretty far-fetched thing to ask of people[…]

This 100000000%
I suspect whatever Meghan and Harry wrote about their family would have had people clutching a their pearls etc. I totally understand what Meghan and Harry wrote. My family felt complete once I had my second child. I say my first made me a mother and my second made my family complete and no one battered an eyelid.

I too have many friends who struggled to concieve, including a beloved twin sister and not once were they upset when I expressed gratitude for my children - including saying what I forementioned. Gratitude helps bond people - it is how I found out one of my husband's friends too 8 years to concieve their first. It was only after I expressed gratitude on how quickly I fell pregnant that she confided in me and became closer friends.

The photo is beautiful - their family is gorgeous. Let's focus on the beauty of that, especially during these trying and difficult times

 

[cdm]

What a nice picture. Lili looks like her big brother when he visited Desmond Tutu.

 

[Curryong]

It’s a lovely photo of a very happy and smiling family is all I’m taking from this. The couple are happy together and plainly adore their children. I’m glad for them. I think both Archie and Lili are/will be redheads. Hope to see more of Lili as she grows and of Archie with his curls too.

 

[Prinsara]

I don't think it's "pearl-clutching". Simply that Harry and Meghan have the ability to upset very easily for whatever reason. Also an endless need to expound.

They could have just said "joyous wishes for the New Year", 'here's where your donations are going', and left it at a beautiful photo of them and their children.

Less is only more with them when it's not serving some purpose.

 

[Car8007]

Lovely photo. I choose to ignore the complainers.

 

[UglyAmerican]

Even if it had said "She makes our family complete," I'd still think it was in extremely poor taste. There's no reason to announce your future reproductive plans to your entire social circle, and even if there was, a Christmas card isn't the place to do it. If someone used their Christmas card to announce "We plan to start trying for a baby this year!" I'd think that was similarly tasteless.

But that's not what they said. They said she makes them a family, which can only be true if they didn't view themselves as a family before. Setting aside all the issues with non-traditional or unconventional families, they had a very conventional one: A mother, a father, and one child. How could that possibly not be a family? There's something seriously amiss in the mind of anyone who's (supposedly) happily married with a child, but does't view that group of people as a family.

I'm also less than impressed with donating on behalf of others. When you do things like that, you need to pick a cause that you know no one would object to. The ASPCA (our equivalent of the RSPCA) or March of Dimes are popular for that.

In fairness, it may be true that everyone the Sussexes deem worthy of a Christmas card agrees with them on issues like paid leave. If that's the case, then I suppose it's not a problem. But if someone sent Meghan a Christmas card proudly announcing that the sender had donated to an anti-abortion lobbying group or a Republican political campaign on Meghan's behalf, I can't imagine Meghan would be very appreciative of that. As usual, it didn't occur to them that anyone could possibly have a different opinion on any of their pet issues.

 

[Moran]

The picture is lovely. The sentiment, not so much. Honestly, I didn't expect it after the having one kid is a hobby, having two is real parenting thing. But they expounded on this. One could ask why Meghan insisted on paid leave for one's hobby.

Make what you will out of it. It makes two times now that Meghan has put her foot in her mouth about needing two children to be a parent, a family, whatever.

 

[Osipi]

OK. Time to put in my 2 cents worth which, when you think about it, amounts to being pretty worthless of a price these days with costs of things skyrocketing all over the place.

To be absolutely honest, I can see the argument personally from both sides of the coin about Harry and Meghan's words. I do think it's all in how those words affect each and every individual.

I knew a woman that was very dear to me that could never ever have children. She was my mother. I was blessed with an wonderful, loving set of parents and because of them, my children were raised to know that adopting someone they love as family is just as valid as being blood related. No one took more interest or had more caring and was right there on the front lines when my children were born than my mother. She also had an exceptionally close relationship with each of my kids. That's what made her Grammie. Not because she physically had me but because she loved the kids and she loved the role of a grandmother as much as she loved being a mother.

A lot of couples also describe their family exactly how they feel about that family. I used to say I had three children but only one of them was actually planned and the other two wonderful surprises. My kids grew up knowing this. I also often say that had them in the order of boy, girl, boy because one was my favorite because he was the oldest, the second one was my favorite because she was a girl and the third one was my favorite because he was my baby babboo. We personalize our family in expressing them in ways that feels right to us.

We can't pick and choose how people react to our words when they hear them because we're expressing ourselves and our feelings and our emotions. We are not out trying to intentionally harm or cause mental anguish to anyone. I'm sure that hearing someone actually tell me my words hurt them and hit an empty spot inside, I'd be hurt and concerned about that person but I'd never take my words back. I can't stop being me in order to watch every single thing I say because it *might* offend or hurt someone. It happens though. That is how life is.

As I've stated earlier, perhaps with the Sussexes knowing the very wide audience that would see that card, perhaps they could have stated their words differently and be more "generic" and left the personal expression about their family for a written message on the inside of the card meant for whom they address said card to. The picture, in and of itself paints a pretty lovely picture of a very happy family. *That* is what matters at the end of the day.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

The card is lovely. The children are beautiful.

 

[ACO]

I think people look for things to be upset about regarding the Sussexes. They didn’t say anything wrong here. They happy for their family.[…]It’s really that simple.

Anyways, super cute picture.

 

[HenRach Dominion]

Every time the Sussexes do or say something, there are some people who take it in bad faith. A statement about how they feel like a family now because they have one boy and one girl is suddenly interpreted as an attack on families that are different or people who have trouble conceiving. The Sussexes must watch every word they say because even the most innocuous statements will offend someone, even if those offenses are contradictory (e.g. the formality of birthday wishes).

Perhaps a better Christmas statement would have been thus:

"We were happy to welcome our daughter this year, and although we feel complete as a family of four we understand that families around the world look differently than ours, and we do not mean to imply that our family is the template for every family. We also do not mean to sadden or discomfort anyone who has not been as fortunate as we are to have children, but only people who desire children as we also respect a person's choice not to have children. We also deeply love our son and would no way, shape, or form imply that our family was lesser with only him, or only us for that matter, as you're just as much a family without children as you are with them."

 

[stunking]

Adorable photo it says so much.

 

[Zonk]

Time to move on.

 

[muriel]

I don't think it's "pearl-clutching". Simply that Harry and Meghan have the ability to upset very easily for whatever reason. Also an endless need to expound.

They could have just said "joyous wishes for the New Year", 'here's where your donations are going', and left it at a beautiful photo of them and their children.

Less is only more with them when it's not serving some purpose.

Lovely picture. I think the term word salad comes to mind.

 

[AC21091968]

I thought it was a lovely photo of Harry, Meghan, Archie and Lili looking joyful and Happy. Archie's red hair certainly resembled Harry.

 

[muriel]

I thought it was a lovely photo of Harry, Meghan, Archie and Lili looking joyful and Happy. Archie's red hair certainly resembled Harry.

I agree, it is a lovely family picture, and Archie's hair does resemble Harry's.

 

[MonacoRoyalFan]

Lovely photo, beautiful card, great message—yes, even the Lili made us a family part—and generous gesture!

 

[Denville]

I agree, it is a lovely family picture, and Archie's hair does resemble Harry's.

Not really. Harry is ginger, Archie is more coppery

 

[camelot23ca]

It’s a great picture - Archie looks super cute with that red hair!

 

[Curryong]

Not really. Harry is ginger, Archie is more coppery

Harry’s hair was coppery until he was in his mid-teens.

 

[Sue Lemon]

It's a handsome photo. Little Archie's cute as a button, as is Lili. If you look at photos of Harry as a young child, his hair is nothing like Archie's though. Quite different.

 

[Queen Claude]

Yep, Harry's hair when he was younger was blondish-red, not auburn red.

As I mentioned before, red hair also runs in Meghan's family.

 

[MARG]

I think the Christmas card is wonderful. Harry is smiling in a way I haven't seen snapped in over a year. He is lit up as indeed is Meghan and Archie with his copper hair is cute as a button. Baby Lili is a bonny wee lass and I think she changed the family dynamic, more than that, they look to become a family of gingers. Perhaps they will turn out like N455ir

Up until now, Archie has had the undivided attention of his parents and now there is baby Lili. Being a follower of human dynamics I have to wonder how Harry and Meghan prepared him for the arrival of a sibling and am curious if he is "ugh, a girl" or "my baby Lili". But that's just me being nosey, and I'll have to be content with my imagination.

[....] A joyful and happy couple with their adored and adorable, children. It really is a "feel-good" photo, happy and joyful and let's face it, we were never in such dire need of feel good .

 

[yukari]

From Telegraph
Prince Harry claims it is not safe to return to Britain

(...)

The Duke wants to bring his son Archie and baby daughter Lilibet to visit from the US, but he and his family are "unable to return to his home" because it is too dangerous, a legal representative said.

It follows an incident in London in the summer of 2021 when his security was compromised after his car was chased by paparazzi photographers as he left a charity event.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex lost their taxpayer-funded police protection in the aftermath of quitting as senior working royals.

The Duke wants to fund the security himself, rather than ask taxpayers to foot the bill, his legal representative said. He has now filed a claim for a judicial review against the Home Office decision.

The Duke is arguing that his private protection team in the US does not have adequate jurisdiction abroad or access to UK intelligence information which is needed keep the Sussex family safe.

(...)

The legal representative added: "The Duke first offered to pay personally for UK police protection for himself and his family in January of 2020 at Sandringham. That offer was dismissed.

"He remains willing to cover the cost of security, as not to impose on the British taxpayer. As is widely known, others who have left public office and have an inherent threat risk receive police protection at no cost to them.

"The goal for Prince Harry has been simple - to ensure the safety of himself and his family while in the UK so his children can know his home country.

"During his last visit to the UK in July 2021 - to unveil a statue in honour of his late mother - his security was compromised due to the absence of police protection, whilst leaving a charity event.

"After another attempt at negotiations was also rejected, he sought a judicial review in September 2021 to challenge the decision-making behind the security procedures, in the hopes that this could be re-evaluated for the obvious and necessary protection required."

A Government spokesperson said: "The UK Government's protective security system is rigorous and proportionate. It is our long-standing policy not to provide detailed information on those arrangements. To do so could compromise their integrity and affect individuals' security.

"It would also not be appropriate to comment on the detail of any legal proceedings."

I can't find archive file for the article, but here's the same news report from BBC and Mirror:

Prince Harry in legal fight to pay for UK police protection

Prince Harry threatens legal action against Home Office over taxpayer funded security

So basically he knows that the Met officers have access to intelligent information which his private bodyguards don't have so he needs the Met's protection because somehow he sort of has information that he's in high risk -- information that (perhaps) the Met doesn't know since the Met doesn't think providing security for him is necessary because (maybe) they don't consider him in high risk.

As about being chased by photographers, let say, would it also be okay for Angelina Jolie or Johnny Depp (or Henry Cavill who's British citizen and if I'm not mistaken, his brother is in the Marine) to privately pay Met officers as their security details while in London if they're also hounded by photographers? If it's okay for them to do so, then maybe Harry should get his.