The Duke & Duchess of Sussex and Family, News and Events 4: April-June 2021

[Alison H]

The Duchess of Kent effectively left royal life. OK, she was much older and much less high profile, but the Queen and the other Royals understood that this was what she needed to do. If Harry had said that that was what he wanted to do, I'm sure arrangements could have been made. But he'd have had to get a job, and he doesn't seem to be very keen on that idea.

 

[JR76]

To be fair, if he left the royal family at that time, how would he make money? It's also interesting how he seems to have no problem with the PERKS of royalty with all those skiing holidays and going to safaris in Africa.

Even if Harry had been put on the street with no allowance from his family he'd still have had more money than most of us make in a lifetime. More importantly, he'd have an invaluable network to rely on. Friends, their friends and other people with money who'd be more than happy to employ a prince for the PR it would give their business. In other words things wouldn't have been much different from what we see today.

 

[Denville]

Even if Harry had been put on the street with no allowance from his family he'd still have had more money than most of us make in a lifetime. More importantly, he'd have an invaluable network to rely on. Friends and their friends who'd be more than happy to employ a prince for the PR it would give their business.

of course but it wouldn't have happened. The RF might have grumbled and they might not have been overly generous but they would have helped Harry out....

 

[Mirabel]

I am happy that Harry is speaking out. The more he complains, the more tired people are going to become. When you say the same thing over and over again, it doesn't have the same shock value. N that is why, the Panorama interview had such an effect, coz it happened only once and not "tap, tap, tap..."

Well said!
There's only so much complaining that people can sympathize with. Eventually they get sick of hearing it, and start wondering if it will ever stop.

Supposedly, Harry now has the life he wanted, so why is he still so angry?

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

of course but it wouldn't have happened. The RF might have grumbled and they might not have been overly generous but they would have helped Harry out....

But the vultures of the press are ready to crucify Harry when he uses his formidable network: "Harry is exploiting his links to the royal family".

 

[Denville]

But the vultures of the press are ready to crucify Harry when he uses his formidable network: "Harry is exploiting his links to the royal family".

If he'd quit royal life, some years ago, he would probably have been given an allowance by his father and continued in his army career. (Of course he wouldn't because, he did not want to do a desk job).

 

[Osipi]

Well said!
There's only so much complaining that people can sympathize with. Eventually they get sick of hearing it, and start wondering if it will ever stop.

Supposedly, Harry now has the life he wanted, so why is he still so angry?

The more I hear about and the more I read about Harry coming out and being "woke" and promoting mental health by portraying what he's gone through and his thoughts on it, I'm reminded more and more of the TV six part documentary that Oprah presented in 2011 called "Finding Sarah" featuring Sarah, Duchess of York. It didn't do Sarah any favors. Most people won't even remember that she did this back in 2011. At least Sarah had the dignity and the grace to leave the royal family out of it all.

This is the sequel being presented now. "Finding Harry". Bigger, badder and bolder than ever seen before. This is aimed as entertainment. I've yet to hear that Harry's mentioned actual accredited mental health professionals or even sources to get in touch with if needed. If I'm wrong here, please correct me. If you're reaching out to people that need help, you do so in a way that they actually can *find* help. Harry's diatribe about his woeful life sounds too much to me like he's sitting on a pity pot and he's about to go out and eat some worms because the world is was totally against him. I do believe this is all real to Harry but I don't think he's seeing how he's coming across to people that don't know him or have walked a mile in his shoes. His life and lifestyle is something that people just don't understand. In order to communicate, you need to speak to people in a language they understand. Harry, being focused so much on himself, isn't doing that.

I'm an avid advocate that everyone should be accepted for who they are and how they want to live their lives. It's all part and parcel of being happy within and at peace. But to just park it in a chair and throw the blame on everything "out there" and to actively denigrate people that love you publicly is just digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole that I don't think he's ever going to get himself out of.

 

[UglyAmerican]

The Duchess of Kent effectively left royal life. OK, she was much older and much less high profile, but the Queen and the other Royals understood that this was what she needed to do. If Harry had said that that was what he wanted to do, I'm sure arrangements could have been made. But he'd have had to get a job, and he doesn't seem to be very keen on that idea.

Would he have? Charles's personal fortune is more than enough to support Harry at a standard normal people would consider comfortable, and that's without even considering Harry's own fortune. I don't think Charles or eventually William would have begrudged supporting him at a reasonable standard if he'd left in a reasonable way and behaved reasonably towards them after leaving. By "reasonable" I mean "lives for free at a family property and doesn't air dirty laundry on tv." They might have encouraged him to pursue some passion as a career, but I think it would have been more about what was best for Harry than resentment over perceived laziness or unpaid rent.

 

[Heavs]

I can't listen anymore to those journalists and authors who tell him to be quiet as he was priviledged. it's the same as to tell your own kids to eat everything because the little children in India go hungry, but you do nothing about hungry kids elsewhere at all. And then you tell your kids they should stop eating so much because they are getting fat! (I'm quite glad those poor people around the world are at least no poor examples of getting fat, otherwise they would be taken out of their box to be shown to the kids.



My God, what Penny Junor wrote here is some sort of abuse! Every one has a right to tell about their experiences. Privileged people have hurts, too. And being surrounded by love??? There are more people around a young prince than just his family (who all worked hard, btw.) And not all are loving! Even Royal servants can be envious. Paul Burrell comes to mind, he does not appear to be an overly loving butler when he stole Diana's things from her sons.



Just be realistic for one. Harry feels hurt or angry and he tells of his feelings. I guess he will even write a memoir one day. He "might" even call it "Memories of a privileged sufferer". Who knows. But could you please stop to just make him the victim of his name/birth/public interest in him on dessecting his character? He is trying the best he can to cope. He obviously can find it in him to go on a podcast/TV etc. telling "his" story. Yes, poor Charles and poor queen. But isn't it better to hear from a (and I think he still is) loving family member and then form your own opinion than to just believe what the papers come up with?


Harry did not say Charles didn't try. He just sees Charles as a product of his own upbringing trying to parent. That's not a new theory and one helpful when you try to cope with your own feelings about your childhood. Honestly: we all knew that Charles was a loving father, but one who couldn't spend too much time with the children because of his duty. Now Harry states he want to make growing-up different for his children. That's okay. I hope he succeeds.

Penny Junor did not abuse Harry. What she wrote is (IMHO) a balanced article that acknowledges that Harry suffered trauma and that his family wasn't perfect but that he was surrounded by a loving family. Which he himself has previously talked about.

There is plenty of evidence that whilst they're somewhat dysfunctional that they do love each other - there was a clear demonstration of that when the DoE died, they loved him as a father, grandfather and great grandfather not as a distant patriarch.

Harry is allowed to tell his story and his opinion. Although he made it clear he thinks other people being allowed free speech is in his own words "bonkers". However a person that preaches compassion and privacy for celebrities should consider whether spilling his guts at every opportunity is a good idea. And whether weighing in on his grandparents parenting and his father's relationship with them is over stepping *their* privacy and putting a spin on their lives they disagree with. It's not a new theory and many people have resentments with their upbringing but it wasn't done with any sensitivity to start taking about "breaking the cycle" a very, very loaded term.

He would do better as a "loving family member" if he was able to discuss his issues with his family *with them* and not the whole world. William seems to have discussed his issues with his father in private and they appear to have become closer because of it. All Harry is doing is causing more heart break and distrust with people who cannot answer back in public.

He doesn't seem to want to take a look at his own behaviour - he even blamed Vegas on his trauma. I can't think any therapist would agree that this was a productive way to go about healing the wounds of his early life - wallowing in it in front of the world and making money off it despite claiming to be "free". Making it less and less likely it will ever be solved.

He's allowed to say what he wants but he doesn't seem to want the consequences either as evidenced when he was furious he got cut off after storming out of the family business in a huff.

 

[Ariel]

From my perspective, I feel very disappointed with Harry’s latest actions. I think it won’t help anyone to continue attacking his family in front of the mass media just for teaching others to be more open about mental health! It amazes me that he thinks or that anyone agrees that pointing the fingers to your family will help to break the genetic pain for your own family, he is just causing more pain to his love ones (hopefully they still are). Attacking his family in this way won’t help anyone, nor himself to get rid of pain or to solve their mental health problems. So sad!

I don’t think it was a bad thing that he chose to quit his royal responsibilities but at the same time he couldn’t expect to still get paid for nothing. Does he know how other families live?

It is sad that he preferred to live the Hollywood life instead of a more normal life where his children can grow in touch with their relatives. Hope they find the way to solve their problems. There is too much hypocrisy and little coherence in their narrative.

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

Here’s a longer quote where he talks about William telling him to seek help and also a quote about how the therapy changed his life.

It would be quite unethical for the therapist that Harry saw for 2 1/2 years to contact him, but I surely wish that Harry would get back in contact with that therapist! According to this interview and direct quotes, it helped him a great deal. I don’t know who he is seeing now (if anyone) but I cannot see any mental health professional encouraging him to “tell all.”

Also anyone in therapy for that long would know how to get help in an emergency- thus all the “can’t get help for Meghan” was bogus and just served their victim narrative. I would be rolling my eyes/shaking my head if I had been his therapist.

The “genetic pain” he refers to in the podcast is (I think) a reference to epigenetics, a relatively new field. In very simplistic terms, trauma experienced by parents can change gene expression in their children. Trauma is a term casually thrown around by everyone these days, but the generational or intergenerational trauma in the literature means things such as sexual abuse, extreme poverty, domestic violence (which Harry may have witnessed) and genocide, for example.

If his therapist was well versed in family systems (which I’m sure was true), Harry would have learned about patterns such as the way one is parented is our model for how to parent.

So in my mind he has garbled some things together which just adds confusion instead of clarity to others who may have mental health concerns. This really bothers me as he is being touted as someone who knows something about mental health. If he could quote a book or information by a real expert, this would be helpful to others.

I think he is going for sensationalism to stay in the public eye and as some others have already said, to publicize his upcoming project with Oprah.

In addition to his throwing his family under the bus, which is awful, he is now also talking about things in mental health which he clearly doesn’t understand.

 

[suztav]

I think it’s time for the Queen to call him and give him a piece of her mind. He is pathetic.

 

[Osipi]

I think it’s time for the Queen to call him and give him a piece of her mind. He is pathetic.

I disagree strongly. The best thing for anyone in the BRF to do right now is to not feed into Harry's narrative. To do so is like adding gasoline to an already burning inferno.

Give a man enough rope and eventually he'll hang himself or let go of the rope.

 

[Queen Ester]

I just listened to the podcast, I am shocked by the amount of "swear" words that the interviewer and Harry use, does he think that this will make him dearer to the US audience.

 

[Denville]

I think he's revelling in "not being a prince" any more..

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

The more I hear about and the more I read about Harry coming out and being "woke" and promoting mental health by portraying what he's gone through and his thoughts on it, I'm reminded more and more of the TV six part documentary that Oprah presented in 2011 called "Finding Sarah" featuring Sarah, Duchess of York. It didn't do Sarah any favors. Most people won't even remember that she did this back in 2011. At least Sarah had the dignity and the grace to leave the royal family out of it all.

This is the sequel being presented now. "Finding Harry". Bigger, badder and bolder than ever seen before. This is aimed as entertainment. I've yet to hear that Harry's mentioned actual accredited mental health professionals or even sources to get in touch with if needed. If I'm wrong here, please correct me. If you're reaching out to people that need help, you do so in a way that they actually can *find* help. Harry's diatribe about his woeful life sounds too much to me like he's sitting on a pity pot and he's about to go out and eat some worms because the world is was totally against him. I do believe this is all real to Harry but I don't think he's seeing how he's coming across to people that don't know him or have walked a mile in his shoes. His life and lifestyle is something that people just don't understand. In order to communicate, you need to speak to people in a language they understand. Harry, being focused so much on himself, isn't doing that.

I'm an avid advocate that everyone should be accepted for who they are and how they want to live their lives. It's all part and parcel of being happy within and at peace. But to just park it in a chair and throw the blame on everything "out there" and to actively denigrate people that love you publicly is just digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole that I don't think he's ever going to get himself out of.

Yes! I’ve not seen/heard anything about how other people can get help!

 

[suztav]

I disagree strongly. The best thing for anyone in the BRF to do right now is to not feed into Harry's narrative. To do so is like adding gasoline to an already burning inferno.



Give a man enough rope and eventually he'll hang himself or let go of the rope.

I agree with giving him enough rope, however I do think he has some “fear or intimidation” of the Queen so that may make him shut up (for a bit!)

 

[Alison H]

I just listened to the podcast, I am shocked by the amount of curse words that the interviewer and Harry use, does he think that this will make him dearer to the US audience.

It reminds of me of what the boys at school used to do when we were 11 and had just started secondary school. They thought it made them look really cool and grown up and laddish. By the time we were around 13, they'd realised that it didn't. It's a bit pathetic that a man in his mid-30s still hasn't got to that point.

The media are now widely reporting that "Palace insiders" and "royal aides" want Harry and Meghan to give up their titles.

 

[Denville]

Surely they shold have someting like "if you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this programme, here's where to get help."

 

[Roderick]

I just listened to the podcast, I am shocked by the amount of curse words that the interviewer and Harry use, does he think that this will make him dearer to the US audience.

I was shocked too. There was no restraint from Sussex at all, not the slightest consideration for who he is and where he comes from. He does not respect the Queen or his position, I think that is very obvious.

 

[Erin9]

I just listened to the podcast, I am shocked by the amount of curse words that the interviewer and Harry use, does he think that this will make him dearer to the US audience.

I haven’t listened to it, and based on what you said- and what I read in another article on this subject- I’d never make it through to the end.

I detest excessive cursing. You can express yourself without being vulgar.

It doesn’t endear him to this member of the US public. (Does Dax Shepherd tend to curse a lot? Was this Harry imitating him to connect? Or was this Harry being Harry? IOW- in his everyday life does he really curse a lot?)

 

[Betsypaige]

Well said!
There's only so much complaining that people can sympathize with. Eventually they get sick of hearing it, and start wondering if it will ever stop.

Supposedly, Harry now has the life he wanted, so why is he still so angry?

He’s directing his comments at his fans who he knows won’t ever drop him, so as far as that goes, he has no reason to stop his public complaining. Since he’ll always be Prince Harry even if his titles are removed, he’ll still have his Hollywood “friends” to hang out with, and certain magazines to cover him. These people are all so anti-monarchy, anti-British people, so I don’t think they’ll ever tire if him.

The vast, vast, vast majority of Americans don’t care about H, M or the Royals anyway...

The real question is whether continued barbs at his family will eventually tire potential business clients out? My guess is no...

I actually changed my mind on this. I DID think people would tire of the barrage of attacks on his father and family, but once I remembered who his target audience is, I changed my mind.

 

[Queen Ester]

I haven’t listened to it, and based on what you said- and what I read in another article on this subject- I’d never make it through to the end.

I detest excessive cursing. You can express yourself without being vulgar.

It doesn’t endear him to this member of the US public. (Does Dax Shepherd tend to curse a lot? Was this Harry imitating him to connect? Or was this Harry being Harry? IOW- in his everyday life does he really curse a lot?)

It's very vulgar, Harry is using f-ng and sh-t constantly, don't listen to it

 

[Denville]

But will businesses, whose job is to make money, want someone who is always going on about his family and how badly he's been treated? Esp if his stories get confusing? Might they not feel that he might turn on the companies that hire him, after a while?

 

[Betsypaige]

I just listened to the podcast, I am shocked by the amount of "swear" words that the interviewer and Harry use, does he think that this will make him dearer to the US audience.

Yes, probably he does. I read that he has adopted a generalized American accent as well, again to make it seem he’s - as they say - simpatico with Americans. Most of us do not swear when we speak normally, so it seems Harry doesn’t think much of us Americans...certainly doesn’t know us.

 

[Erin9]

For me, the bad taste is that Harry and Meghan want to make a career out of all this, talking about deeply personal matters in public.
Harry could have left the BRF and dealt with his shortcomings in private and quietly. Yes, you can speak about your mental health in public and encourage other people to address their problems but you don't need to discuss every detail in podcasts or in high profile interviews.
Your freedom ends when you enter the other people's freedom. To mention other people, like Kate or Charles or the grandparents, what they have done or not done, is trash talking, pure and simple. Even worse, when you do it in order to get money or attention of an audience you want to use for paying for your lifestyle in the long run.
Nobody's family is perfect, especially parents, but in most cases they do their best or have best intentions.
In the long run, it won't end well, I am sure.

I agree with all of this.

You can talk about the importance of mental health without dragging personal details into it.

That said- I don’t see Harry as someone to be looked up to from a mental health standpoint. He’s more of an example to me of what not to do really. I don’t see how he’s helping anyone- himself, his family or anyone else for that matter by dragging personal details into this. He can call it sharing and explaining to help people. I call it complaining and trash talking. It’s also hurtful.

Compassionate people do not publicly drag up decades old issues a mere few weeks after the death of a much loved family member. (There’s never an appropriate time for this to me, but this is about as bad as it gets.)That is not kind or compassionate. He’s preaching about mental well being, but is apparently unconcerned about any mental health problems he may be causing during an already difficult time in his family.

“Your freedom ends when you enter other people’s freedom.” THIS. So well said. Calling people out to make your points is just trash talking IMO.

I don’t see this ending well either.

Harry and Meghan said their interview was it. But it wasn’t. First there was Gayle giving updates on “unproductive” conversations, now we have podcasts, next we have Oprah again. Apparently this podcast was part promotion for him for the Oprah gig. Nice.

 

[RandyDrx]

I think he's revelling in "not being a prince" any more..

Considering that he was always referred to as "Prince Harry" in the US and the fact that his wife puts "The Duchess of Sussex" in her children's book, I seriously doubt that.

 

[Heavs]

Even with the DM's "palace aides want them to give up their titles" I don't think HM will ask parliament to enact legislation for a number of reasons. Though they might try and get them to drop them voluntarily by pointing out the win-win benefits for both sides. For the Sussexes this means not being called complete hypocrites by complaining about the toxicity of Harry's family but still benefitting from their anti democratic titles.

 

[UglyAmerican]

Most of us do not swear when we speak normally, so it seems Harry doesn’t think much of us Americans...certainly doesn’t know us.

Of course doesn't. How would he? As far as I know, the only extended time he spent here before moving was the Vegas trip when he was younger, and I think the crowd he was hanging out with there can politely be described as 'atypical.' Then they lived in one of Tyler Perry's many guest room for the better part of a year, and they seem to socialize primarily with other Hollywood types. Whatever Harry thinks he knows about Americans, he really only knows about that very unrepresentative sliver of society.

 

[Queen Ester]

Even with the DM's "palace aides want them to give up their titles" I don't think HM will ask parliament to enact legislation for a number of reasons. Though they might try and get them to drop them voluntarily by pointing out the win-win benefits for both sides. For the Sussexes this means not being called complete hypocrites by complaining about the toxicity of Harry's family but still benefitting from their anti democratic titles.

not quite so, the royal aides want them to give up the titles or explain why not, so the ball is now in Harry's hand