I don't think there is any choice but for Markle Sr to be completely frozen out. He has no clue who and what he's dealing with in blabbing to the tabloids and lobbing crazy, hateful comments toward his newlywed daughter and her royal in-laws. As has already been pointed out, Sam Grant obviously has severe mental problems from being so fixated on bitterness and jealousy against a sister whom she is at least 17 to 18 years older than. And Tom Jr is older than that. They were both adults when Meghan was born, and yet began to harbor extreme jealousy against her when they saw how much attention Markle Sr gave to Meghan when she was young, as opposed to what the two of them had received. In fact, Markle Sr left them and their mother in Chicago when they were young to find work in Hollywood. Being a workaholic is apparently part of the reason why both of Markle Sr's marriages broke up. I would suspect his lack of good judgement and common sense were additional factors.
It's quite obvious that Samantha convinced her Dad to accept the tabloid's offer to set up those fake photos for the money. Sam appealed to her Dad's pride and vanity. She must be accustomed to using him over the years. Once he fell for that scam, Markle Sr decided to keep falling, instead of accepting the life raft offered by Meghan and Harry to still attend the wedding. About the heart surgery business, it's probably true, but there are questions. Still, none of this makes good sense. We obviously don't know what all the dysfunction is about. I just suspect that it stems from Markle Sr not having been a good father when the older two were young.
Andrew Morton spoke to both Tom Jr and Sam (but more-so to Tom Jr) for his book about Meghan. There are some interesting details mentioned in that book regarding the Markles. Tom Jr & Sam (formerly named Yvonne) were never close. They both moved to live with their Dad in L.A. as teenagers. When Markle Sr met and married Doria, Tom Jr and Sam lived with the newlyweds, and Doria reportedly tried her best to be a good influence and to take both of these problem teenagers under her wing. Sam was aloof and impossible to deal with. She was a typical rebellious teenager with an attitude. Plus she also dabbled in witchcraft and wore goth attire. Doria had a bit more success with reaching out to Tom Jr. But once again, as a workaholic, Markle Sr apparently never fully helped Doria with this effort to guide his two older restless and rambunctious kids.
Doria and Markle Sr did not have Meghan until at least 3 or 4 years after they married. So obviously, an effort was made to include the older two as part of their Dad's new relationship before Meghan was born. The elephant in the room I think is how much or how little Markle Sr's family actually fully accepted Doria, due to her different ethnic background. Morton described Tom Jr as having been closer to Doria initially than Sam/Yvonne, who probably never accepted her. Morton's book does mention that Sam/Yvonne told her friends that Doria was the maid. But Morton also said some sources indicated that Sam/Yvonne was supposedly just joking! When Meghan was born, more efforts were made to unify the family, but to no avail. There are those pictures of Sam/Yvonne at 18 or 19 holding one-year old Meghan. So likely the envy didn't start immediately, or maybe it did. How can anyone envy a baby though???
Markle Sr has spoken of how Meghan was the apple of his eye, and of course all of the family photos show that both parents adored their little girl. But I think it's safe to say that it was Doria and her mother, Jeannette, who nurtured Meghan the most into becoming the outstanding human being she is today. Doria apparently left Markle Sr when Meghan was two-years-old, and they were divorced when Meghan was six. Both parents surely did share helping to raise Meghan and both were instrumental in her formative years. However, I get the sense that Markle Sr has never been easy to get along with, and that there was more friction along the way which Meghan has chosen to put a happy face on because she's a positive, 'glass half-full' person. It boils down to Markle Sr not being good with relationships in his life, leading to problems with both marriages. Fortunately, he gave Meghan enough love and attention when she was growing up, added to the sound nurturing by her mother and maternal grandmother, that she was able to overcome the tensions of dysfunctions and estrangements that apparently existed on both sides of her family. Only her mother's side has shown a bit more discretion. Her mother's older half-brother, Joseph, did sell some photos and positive stories to the DF after the engagement announcement, but he has pocketed the money and kept quiet since then.
I would imagine that both Harry and Meghan bared their hearts to each other about their childhoods and so there are no secrets between them. Still, who could have expected Sam to get her claws so fully into Markle Sr that he would lose his mind in this way. Do you notice how Markle Sr keeps saying "my daughter, my daughter," and rarely if ever 'Meghan.' I think that shows how much vanity and pride he has. He apparently thinks he owns Meghan and her success in life. But again, I think he's being fed a lot of these ideas by Samantha. Meghan created her own success. Whatever good her father did for her, is what he should have done. And now he needs to cut his losses, because I believe what he's been doing in recent weeks is unforgiveable. He has indeed completely lost his younger daughter and any future grandchildren who will be British royals through and through. The Markles need to understand that they have no claim on Meghan, and they are so far from being royal themselves, it isn't even funny.
There is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. I don't see any way at all that Meghan could ever forgive her father for making the egregious choices he has made. They offered an olive branch and he spit on it. Whether or not he has mental incapacities is not Meghan's problem. She did everything she could to try and include her father in her new life (with likely huge anxiety over how things would turn out because of surely numerous past betrayals on his part). What's happening now is unforgiveable, so the only avenue for Meghan to move toward is acceptance.
Here's an article that describes the ten steps of acceptance, when forgiveness is not an option. Perhaps it might be helpful for those experiencing similar betrayal and anguish:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/rela...giveness-of-the-other-is-not-the-best-option/