The Duchess of Sussex: Family and Background

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by ACO

Thomas Markle flat out said he opened the conversation saying he was upset about Trump and all Harry said was that neutral statement but then said he thinks Harry probably has changed his mind since then. He is ridiculous. He is also the one who brought politics into the conversation. It seemed very deliberate with his "That is his, not mine" comment.

Piers on This Morning spoke of how Thomas Markle contacted them to tell his side of the story, ala TMZ. So he is consistently seeking of the media despite knowing how much Meghan and Harry don't want him to. He is more concerned about how the public views him than his relationship with his child.

I haven't watched the interview in whole it, but did he say Harry's probably changed his mind since or it is Tom Marke's personal hope that he has because of his own views? Because the latter is how I read it based on other reports I've seen.

And yes, the inability to understand when things are bigger than just yourself. I was thinking on my way into work today about the concept of not accepting something as is if you don't agree with it, especially when it is from those with power. It's a very American trait (I'm aware it exists in other cultures as well, but it's particularly strong here), and it's a very good trait at times. However, like anything else, it can have consequences that can both be good and bad. When you use it to fight for something that you believe is wrong and for the greater good or even when it's your personal good, which was consistent with him encouraging Meghan to stick up for what she believed in when she was younger. However, you have to evaluate if your personal good is actually your personal good and if you are hurting someone close to you in the process. That's what he seems to have trouble with.

[ACO]

Originally Posted by wyevale

Certainly he's NOT a man to be trusted, and altho' the Duchess is [understandably] not likely to sever all links, I think the Duke will be very unlikely to form much of a bond with his Father-in-law, if ANY at all...
Harry & William know are all too familiar with the untrustworthy, and they freeze them out accordingly.That won't be necessary in Markle's case.. it is enough just to form NO close bond.

I can very well see Meghan cutting him out her life after this. The wedding shenanigans was bad enough. All the TMZ updates and stringing her along by his own words. He said that Harry had arranged to have his military people help him get to London that night and he bailed. What he did that week was awful and I can't understand how any parent would do that to their child.

Then we discover that he personally contacted Piers Morgan for this interview and they were all secretive about it to make sure KP never got wind of it because they knew they would shut it down. I mean, that says it all. He knew Meghan would be upset and did it anyways because he needed to tell his story instead of doing what was best fort his child. Father of the Year.

You can only do but so much. The Markles have proven time and time again why she doesn't associate with them and now her father has proven why Meghan seemed cautious about introducing him to her new life. He can't be trusted and he has loose lips. Meghan really has no reason to talk to this man any more and I suspect that those grandbabies he speaks of wanting to see will never be in his life.

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by wyevale

Certainly he's NOT a man to be trusted, and altho' the Duchess is [understandably] not likely to sever all links, I think the Duke will be very unlikely to form much of a bond with his Father-in-law, if ANY at all...
Harry & William know are all too familiar with the untrustworthy, and they freeze them out accordingly.That won't be necessary in Markle's case.. it is enough just to form NO close bond.

Agreed. How do you bond with people when you can't speak freely in front of them and have to hold back? I'm sure Meghan cares for her father and will step in when necessary to care for him, but I don't think she's going to be going to him as a confidant when she's dealing with life's obstacles. In addition to the inability to understand how silly it is to worry about his image (it's not about him for heaven's sake) and how he won't win that by speaking, he doesn't seem to show good judgment in dealing with difficult situations. Life isn't about black and white decisions, it's the ability to navigate on a tightrope. Especially when one is dealing with life in the royal fishbowl.

Good thing is that she has managed to formed and maintain other relationships, including but not limited to her mother, that she has been able to be herself in and trust that person will offer sage advice. Want to know who Meghan considers her family? Just take a look at the seating chart on her side of the Quire other than those that were placed there because of their obvious long term connection to Harry that he can't fit on his side. It's telling everything we need to know.

[Cocoasneeze]

He went to into a lot of detail about his phone conversations with Meghan, how she told him little by little that she was dating Harry. He went into great detail about Harry asking his blessing to marry Meghan (telling him never to lay his hand on Meghan!!!). He went into detail about Meghan wanting children and her possible pregnancy. He didn't just blab about Harry and his alleged comments about brexit and trump, he went into more detail about his private conversations with his daughter. He conspired with Piers behind Meghan's back to arrange this interview, even though Meghan asked him NOT to talk to the press. After he expressed regret over the paparazzi saga. He talked very little about himself and a lot about Meghan, without her consent, actually against her explicit wishes not to.

[loonytick]

Harry’s comments, as quoted by Markle, really need context to be evaluated.

If he was truly engaging in the conversation, they could have been pro-Trump, pro-Brexit. If he was trying to politely shut down the political topic, they could have been his way of saying, “as a royal, my job is to deal the best I can with what voters have chosen.”

We don’t and won’t have the context to truly know, but given what else we’ve seen of the two men involved in the conversation the second makes the most sense to me.

I just can’t imagine someone in Harry’s position truly letting his guard down about politics with anyone he doesn’t know very, very, VERY well. And Markle doesn’t seem to be one who can read a situation all that well (if he could he wouldn’t have fallen down this hole of posed pap photos and ill-advised interviews) so I don’t necessarily trust his perception of Harry’s comments, either.

Originally Posted by Curbside

Actually, there were some of Meghan's family at the wedding. I'm pretty sure it was a couple people on Doria's side.

I remember hearing that, too, but I can’t find where I might have read it. Not sure if it was true or not.

[ashelen]

What the heck is he doing again on the press? Well poor Megan, Sh does not need the father doing this! I guess he spent father's day alone!

[AlowVera]

Originally Posted by Dman

You do realize that I’m not making any excuses for Mr. Markle, right?

I’m just stating that everyone pretty much failed to understand the extent of the fraught relationship Meghan have with her family. No one (that I know of) is blaming Meghan and Harry. There’s just a lot of personal breakdown within the Markle family. That’s what we’ve been seeing for months. This is why Harry made that comment that Meghan now have the family she never had. She have her mother, Harry and the rest the royal family. She loves her father, but their relationship is not on the best footing, sadly.

Yes I do, I was only venting at the news and not you.

In other news Lainey says he got 40k for the interview and it was brokered by Samantha.......................................

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

He says that Meghan cried over him not being there, but during that time he was calling up TMZ giving them a play by play of his heart issues. WHO DOES THAT!! there are no excuses for this man. Why would he gaslight his own daughter when his name was on the program.

He also said that Harry offered help on the ground but he refused! and yet they want to blame Harry and Meghan for this?

If they don't tell him all their plans its because he spills to his children, who then sell the information to the press.

And where did he blame Meghan and Harry?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's awful what he's decided to do, but let's stick to facts here.

[Mirabel]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

Yes I do, I was only venting at the news and not you.

In other news Lainey says he got 40k for the interview and it was brokered by Samantha.......................................

It's sad when families fall out, but sometimes relationships are so toxic that the best thing is to keep them at a distance.
Meghan didn't do this recently; she's distanced herself from her siblings, and to a certain extent from her father, for many years.

Now she knows her father is completely untrustworthy, and she'll have to tell him very little when they talk.
So hypocritical, when he told his family to keep quiet and not speak to the press, and then he turns around to cash in himself!

(People criticized Harry for saying Meghan never really had an extended family, but it's clear now that his statement was pretty accurate.)

[Purrs]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

In other news Lainey says he got 40k for the interview and it was brokered by Samantha.......................................

That would not surprise me. Samantha seems to want to hurt Meghan any way she can, even using their father.

Thomas has terrible judgement? As well, if he truly cared about Meghan, he'd keep quiet as he's been asked.

If he were my father, I'd either cut him out from my life or put him on a 6 month "time out" (not talk to him until he's demonstrated he can stop talking to the press).

[AlowVera]

Originally Posted by Mirabel

It's sad when families fall out, but sometimes relationships are so toxic that the best thing is to keep them at a distance.
Meghan didn't do this recently; she's distanced herself from her siblings, and to a certain extent from her father, for many years.

Now she knows her father is completely untrustworthy, and she'll have to tell him very little when they talk.
So hypocritical, when he told his family to keep quiet and not speak to the press, and then he turns around to cash in himself!

(People criticized Harry for saying Meghan never really had an extended family, but it's clear now that his statement was pretty accurate.)

The siblings distanced themselves from Meghan. Their behavior was awful and toxic and had Meghan invited them to the wedding they would continue to push for more access and then run to the tabloids with any percieved slight, imagine if they where not invited to the reception, imagine if they did not get pictures with the Queen. Meghan knows how awful they are and I trust her judgement. It was a no win situation.

I say payout, NDA.

[Ista]

Originally Posted by Mirabel

It's sad when families fall out, but sometimes relationships are so toxic that the best thing is to keep them at a distance.
Meghan didn't do this recently; she's distanced herself from her siblings, and to a certain extent from her father, for many years.

Now she knows her father is completely untrustworthy, and she'll have to tell him very little when they talk.

(People criticized Harry for saying Meghan never really had an extended family, but it's clear now that his statement was pretty accurate.)

When Harry said this originally I assumed that he was speaking from knowledge about the actual family dynamics, and braced myself for exactly some of the craziness we saw in the lead up to the wedding. Although I have to say that I didn't expect quite the level of that we got.

I think Tom Markle is a pathetic character: he has demonstrated poor judgment over and over, and may never totally understand why when he hears from Meghan in the future she doesn't seem to be sharing much that's substantive, and why there is a coolness and reserve from her new family, including her husband. If he doesn't "get" why he shouldn't be doing these interviews, at this point I think the best Meghan and Harry will be able to do is keep him at a distance and share as little as possible of their real life and real thoughts.

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

The siblings distanced themselves from Meghan. Their behavior was awful and toxic and had Meghan invited them to the wedding they would continue to push for more access and then run to the tabloids with any percieved slight, imagine if they where not invited to the reception, imagine if they did not get pictures with the Queen. Meghan knows how awful they are and I trust her judgement. It was a no win situation.

I say payout, NDA and retirement village. He needs to be put somewhere away from Scamantha who uses his stupidity as leverage.

The only way to deal with this is not to tell them anything and continue not to comment publicly. NDAs are only effective when people have something to loose. What do you think will happen once they go through whatever payout?

[ACO]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

I say payout, NDA.

These people are always on the attack against Meghan. The best thing for her to do is to just ignore them. The moment she gives them her attention is when it goes haywire. They aren't worth her time. The BRF have dealt with bigger and badder than this.

[Osipi]

Leopards do not change their spots and the sun also rises and the swallows return to Capristrano. Some things you can set your watch by. Meghan's family dynamics are not unique and I can understand why she could refer to herself as an only child of a single mother if she chose to.

The Markle relations are just that. Relatives that she didn't ask for nor, as time passed, even cared to know as anything but her father's side of the family. She owes them nothing. She has no obligation to any of them at all. She is now married into a family where a "circle of trust" is necessary for peace of mind and any semblance of a private life. Meghan, along with Harry, have their own lives to live and will make the best decisions that will ensure their life is as stress free as possible.

Meghan needs to keep that moat stocked with all kinds of predators to draw the line between herself, her life and her new family due to a sense of "entitlement" exhibited by certain Markle relatives. One now is claiming she is going to be moving to the UK, has been known to "stand up" on British political issues and is campaigning for Meghan to use her "royalness" to address the issue of legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes in the UK.

When someone is behaving in such a manner as to use a person as a doormat, one does not go out and get "WELCOME" printed across their forehead. I, for one, applaud Meghan's decision to not feed into her estranged family and to look to her future with Harry.

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Originally Posted by jacqui24

What do you suggest she do then? Invite those that’s been lashing out at her because they aren’t getting the recognition they feel they now deserve by sheer genetic lottery that they are related to her or extended family that she’s not close with? She invited people that’s been close to her since she was a young adult.

You are aware that there are more people in her family than just her mother father brother and sister? It is outrageous how people forget that everybody has a paternal side and a maternal side, just because the Markle's can't behave doesn't mean she shouldn't have invited the Raglands.

Originally Posted by Curbside

Actually, there were some of Meghan's family at the wedding. I'm pretty sure it was a couple people on Doria's side.

I remember hearing this and I do hope it is true.

[wyevale]

how people forget

NOBODY forgets there is a matrilineal line, its just the the cheap antics of the Patrilineal line of this family keeps them [unpleasantly] to the fore..

I expect the Lawyers to the House of Windsor will make it VERY clear that attempts to involve the Sussex's in any kind of political controversy will be countered in the strongest possible manner...

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

You are aware that there are more people in her family than just her mother father brother and sister? It is outrageous how people forget that everybody has a paternal side and a maternal side, just because the Markle's can't behave doesn't mean she shouldn't have invited the Raglands.

I remember hearing this and I do hope it is true.

I remember the story about her mom's younger half-brother and his mother reportedly being there. The Johnsons (Doria's older half siblings from her mother's side) denied they were invited, but didn't seem to be too bitter about it. From what's been reported is that they aren't close.

And yes, I'm well aware there is more people in her extended family than just her mother, father, brother, and sister. However, all of her grandparents have passed away, and Meghan isn't close to most of her uncles and aunts. So I don't see why she'd have to invite them if she's not close to them. Especially those that feels entitled.

It's interesting to me that from everything we've heard, I've not heard one incident from any of them about a specific fall out with Meghan personally. Even when Samantha described their last phone call, which she took offense to Meghan not doing what she wanted Meghan to do, it seems like Meghan handled them in a cordial manner without giving up to what she believes is the right thing to do. Quite high EQ on that front. It does seem like Meghan tried to stay out of their drama and not get dragged in. So, good for her.

Originally Posted by wyevale

I expect the Lawyers to the House of Windsor will make it VERY clear that attempts to involve the Sussex's in any kind of political controversy will be countered in the strongest possible manner...

Would they have any grounds on that though? I suppose they can threaten over headlines that are misleading, but there is a lot of gray area that the tabloids can play with.

[ACO]

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

You are aware that there are more people in her family than just her mother father brother and sister? It is outrageous how people forget that everybody has a paternal side and a maternal side, just because the Markle's can't behave doesn't mean she shouldn't have invited the Raglands.

What makes you think Doria and Meghan are close to the Raglands and Johnsons (as Doria is the product of her mother's second marriage). Doria's older 1/2 brother said she was not close to them and implied that after their mother died that the family went their own ways. They didn't even know she married Thomas until the day it happened. So clearly her maternal side have their issues as well.

Meghan has a tight knit circle of friends she calls her family for a reason. None of this is new. These family members were not at her 1st wedding, including her father it seems. So why would they be included in this one? She did attempt to include her dad and we all see how that has turned out. Meghan needs to just stick to what she was doing long before Harry in terms of her family.

[Osipi]

Get a good sleep going with one's pillows for a good 11 hours and groggily sit down with a cup of go juice and open this thread and wow. A lot happened since I put my keyboard down for the night.

Reading through this thread about Meghan's father and Piers Morgan, I have to admit that the image that floated through my mind in relation to Tom Sr., is Mr. Magoo. A Mr. Magoo caught in the headlights of a car like a startled deer. He is, to me, a man with absolutely no clue on how to be media savvy or the ability to realize a wolf in a sheep costume should he meet one. A lot of savvy people request interview questions ahead of time in order to "block" certain issues and be prepared to give their answers. I would bet my last waffle with butterscotch syrup on it that Tom never thought about this. He went into the interview blindly, perhaps thinking Piers Morgan is a "reputable journalist" and blundered it very badly.

I do not believe this 73 year old man has dastardly intentions when it comes to his daughter and her new husband nor do I think he's intentionally trying to cause harm and chaos. He's blundering, he's manipulated and he's been taken advantage of by his older children quite a bit from what I know. Its no wonder he prefers a quiet, solitary life in Mexico and being left alone. I just really wish that he had listened to Meghan and Harry and it sunk in that he shouldn't talk to *anyone* in the media at all.

Thomas Markle, Sr. and his daughter, The Duchess of Sussex live in worlds that are totally alien to each other and the bridges between them are very shaky ones with a lot of pitfalls. It will be immensely hard for a 73 year old man to come to grips with her world and what it entails from here on out and I do believe its best if any relationship between father and daughter from this point forward is done "under the radar" as it should have from the beginning.