The Duchess of Sussex: Family and Background

[MaiaMia_53]

Maybe one day, we'll learn of the anguish that Meghan and Harry went through after the media succeeded in trolling her Dad and getting him to cooperate with them a few days before her wedding! The media set up her Dad on purpose!!!

If the royals subsequently did hand out an olive branch to Markle Sr. at that point, he should have accepted it immediately. Then, even if he couldn't make it to the wedding due to his heart surgery, Meghan would still be in contact with him. At this point, I think it's well and over as far as any kind of contact or relationship. He can't be trusted. The royals don't take kindly to this intrusive and ratty behavior. He breached loyalty and trust not only against his daughter, but also against Prince Harry! And trash-talking the Queen too! Markle Sr.'s most recent 'pained smile' comments in The Sun have only added fuel to a conflagration that is bound to keep him far away from any further contact with his daughter.

[ladongas]

Originally Posted by M. Payton

From reading all the above on this man and how he so disrespects his daughter and is emotionally blackmailing her and Harry the only thing I hope she does is so walk away and never look back. I know this works for a fact as I did the very same thing to my father that was just plain evil and that lasted till his death and I never cried one damn tear....at 18 and learned to live MY life and work on me from that time on......no one is born to be subservient to another even a parent. No, to any meeting in Ca ever or anywhere....not in private nor in public, and never look back on people wanting to tear you down........NEVER!

Yes, but you haven’t had to live your entire life since then in the public eye.

Lots of people who hate how the Markles have acted would find it sad for a daughter to wash her hands of a parent without giving it one last try to reconcile the situation. If he continues to act badly, no one would or could blame her for walking away. And she would have a clear conscience and be able to “live with herself”.

Mr. Markle is clumsy and ill-mannered, not necessarily evil. We shouldn’t conflate the behavior of the other Markles with his. Most of us try to maintain at least courteous ties with our difficult relatives, especially a parent.

And if he blabs to the tabs thereafter, well, he’s already doing that. What do
M&H have to lose by taking the high road? Pride should not be an issue here.

[Lady Nimue]

I don't think we should set standards for Meghan. She knows what she has had to deal with. She knows the full extent of the second chances and third chances and fourth chances extended. I don't believe she has to prove she is 'taking the high road' to anyone. JMO.

[ladongas]

Originally Posted by Lady Nimue

I don't think we should set standards for Meghan. She knows what she has had to deal with. She knows the full extent of the second chances and third chances and fourth chances extended. I don't believe she has to prove she is 'taking the high road' to anyone. JMO.

Of course she doesn’t. But she may have regrets whatever she decides to do or not do. And she is in a very strong position in her life now to end this situation on her own terms. Family estrangements can be tragic, not just annoying.

And I’m certainly not setting standards for Meghan! I leave that for others to do. I really like her and want her life to be wonderful.

[AlowVera]

Originally Posted by ACO

Apparently Samantha called into the Wendy Williams show and dropped a hint she was part of Celebrity Big Brother. I had been hearing this rumor but good grief. These Markles.

That's peculiar usually tv shows like to exclusively announce who will be on the show, is she breaking some embargo or trying to create more hoopla so she will be invited on the show.

[Osipi]

Whatever Meghan decides to do or don't do, I hope we never hear about it. Its a private, family matter and between Meghan and her dad and its not something to put tabloids into a "War of the Markles" tail spin. Come to think of it, even the very public meeting I suggested earlier would be playing right into this soap opera.

If the aim is to totally break off communications, now is the best time to do it and stick to it. No doubt the estranged (with the emphasis on strange) family will crop up every now and then and bleat their nonsense but it will remain one thing. One sided.

[Cocoasneeze]

If Meghan has decided to cut contact with her father, I have no doubt it's what's best for her. And that's what she needed to do. All of this should be a private matter, but the markles have decided to make it public, use the press to make demands on Meghan, and some of the press are screaming with happiness about it.

As for Meghan meeting with Mr Markle face to face and making it clear, that he needs to zip it. That's not what Mr Markle wants. He made his demands clear. He wants to make a profit out of Meghan. He wants her to get over it, arrange a meeting NOW, roll out the red carpet, and arrange a meeting with the Queen. He said this all clearly. He won't stand Meghan demanding him to be quiet. He won't stand for a quiet, private meeting anywhere. He wants a fanfare, a very public hero worship ceremony and nothing less will do.

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by ladongas

Of course she doesn’t. But she may have regrets whatever she decides to do or not do. And she is in a very strong position in her life now to end this situation on her own terms. Family estrangements can be tragic, not just annoying.

And I’m certainly not setting standards for Meghan! I leave that for others to do. I really like her and want her life to be wonderful.

Or she may not. How is she not ending this situation on her own terms either way? Ultimately, the decision is hers, and hers alone, and that sounds about as "on her own terms" as it gets.

I've not said anything about what Meghan should or should not do when it comes to cutting contact with her father. Simply because I believe this is a situation that only she can decide on.

[M. Payton]

Originally Posted by Cocoasneeze

If Meghan has decided to cut contact with her father, I have no doubt it's what's best for her. And that's what she needed to do. All of this should be a private matter, but the markles have decided to make it public, use the press to make demands on Meghan, and some of the press are screaming with happiness about it.

As for Meghan meeting with Mr Markle face to face and making it clear, that he needs to zip it. That's not what Mr Markle wants. He made his demands clear. He wants to make a profit out of Meghan. He wants her to get over it, arrange a meeting NOW, roll out the red carpet, and arrange a meeting with the Queen. He said this all clearly. He won't stand Meghan demanding him to be quiet. He won't stand for a quiet, private meeting anywhere. He wants a fanfare, a very public hero worship ceremony and nothing less will do.

Absolutely correct in your entire comment and only thing left is the siblings want to be included in all events with everyone........not going to happen in his lifetime ever.......

[MaiaMia_53]

Originally Posted by ladongas

Lots of people who hate how the Markles have acted would find it sad for a daughter to wash her hands of a parent without giving it one last try to reconcile the situation...

Unfortunately @ladongas, this is not an ordinary circumstance. Privately, as a regular person (even as a well-known actress) with problematic family members, Meghan could maintain some semblance of a relationship perhaps. But not if her father kept selling her out.

As a member of the royal family, however, this situation with over-talkative and destructive Dad and half-siblings is beyond reproachable. It's not just about how Meghan feels either. Her position as a member of the royal family makes any further contact with her Dad impossible IMO, especially at the moment. Years down the road, if he stops talking or if he falls ill and can't talk to the press anymore, maybe then she can visit him discreetly to reconcile before he passes away. But if he passes away suddenly after a heart attack, that's it sadly. As it is, he will not be welcome to even see M&H's children by this point. Why? Because they can't trust he won't sell out private conversations and information about any future children or christenings, etc. Only Meghan's mother will have access.

The Royally Us VF podcast linked below discusses Meghan's trajectory since her wedding. At the end, the contributors talk about Markle Sr.'s unfortunate behavior.
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity...appy-family-2/ Scroll down all the way after the christening photos to find the VF Royally Us podcast at the very end of the article.

[Missjersey]

If someone keeps stabbing you in the back sometimes it’s best to take the knife and cut the cord.

[Pranter]

Many years ago we did family counseling and our parents (husband and I) came up in discussion ...my mother and I had been somewhat estranged at the time and I mentioned that I guess it was pretty terrible that I did not want to have contact with my mother, I mean really what kind of person doesn't want to stay in contact with their mom?, and the therapist said something along the lines of no there are times where there are such unhealthy relationships with family members that it was a legitimate (and means of self defense) to keep family at a distance, just because they were family didn't mean you had to have a relationship with them.

So...needless to say I can totally understand where Meghan (or anyone) needs to keep family at a distance and that it does not indicate anything negative about Meghan that she does so. Most likely it is a necessary measure.


LaRae

[Osipi]

I suppose, in a way, I can understand Meghan's view of just what "family" is. I was fortunate enough to have been adopted at three weeks old (also my brother was adopted 6 years later) and both of us grew up with a deep understanding that its not the blood or the genes that make people a family. What makes a family is the love, respect, kindness, consideration and devotion to the people one cares about and it is reciprocated in kind.

My kids, although biological, grew up with this definition of family and they're loaded with "other mothers" "sisters" and "aunts" and such that have absolutely no blood relation to them. Those relationships are deeper and more personal than the biological ones primarily because in their relationship, its been a choice on both sides to enter into it and nurture it.

Sadly, I haven't once caught a glimmer or any of my definition of what "family" is from any of the Markle side of Meghan's family. I do see it between Meghan and Doria and therein lies all the difference in the world.

Being family takes work. It takes all the things that I've described that makes "family" It is not a given. Its not an obligation. Its not a right but rather a choice that is made. My "sister" (and yes, I do consider her to be a true, blue sister) is one of the most important people in my life today. We laugh, we cry, we commiserate, we have each other's back and we sometimes even disagree and have heated arguments but at the end of the day, we can still say "I love you" and mean it and all is well with the world.

Seriously, at this point, I don't give Meghan and her father's relationship a snowball's chance in hell. I fear there's too much water under the bridge and its eroded that bridge's foundation.

[MaiaMia_53]

The tabs and paps are so shameless. They are heavily to blame regarding Meghan's Dad, because they relentlessly goaded everyone and anyone who had a connection with Meghan. However, if Meghan's former husband and former boyfriend can keep quiet and use common sense, why can't her father!? Mr. Markle, your daughter might have brought you over for a visit at some point, had you kept your mouth shut and proved you could be trusted. She knows that you can't be trusted, so her fears in that regard have come glaringly to life. Every positive thing you ever did for her is now turned to dust. How could you? I shudder to think of other betrayals she must have suffered from you over the years. This time, I doubt you will be forgiven.

I realize that it might be true that Trevor Engelson harbors some bitterness, but he clearly has sense to say nothing. Cory Vitiello has jokingly posted a couple of sly, teasing references on Twitter and Instagram. But he also continually rebuffed DF, until finally (likely after giving Meghan a heads-up through mutual friends) decided to speak to DF and say only positive things. Cory's mother (who had been badgered as well) also spoke to DF, saying only positive things, because I think they both honestly hold Meghan in high regard. But they also likely wished to get DF off their backs and pocket some dollars at the same time, if in fact they accepted money for giving their interviews.

[Dman]

This is such a personal situation and I feel so bad for Meghan. This can’t be easy for her. This is about her relationship with her father, guys. Not so easy to say she should stay away from him.

[M. Payton]

Very easy to do Dman when you have been betrayed time and time again over and nothing changes for she is a grown woman now and living her own life........as each of us does.........just because a person is a parent does not make them a good or great parent, actions speak so much louder then words so...and lots of us have learned that the hard way in life.....

[ladongas]

Whatever benefits her is what she should do. I was estranged from my parents during my hippie days. They didn’t like me or my friends or my lifestyle, and I hated them. We lived on different sides of the country and had no contact for several years. I didn’t care- I was young and in love and having fun! My father had an unexpected business trip to my part of the world, and they called and arranged to see me. We had a great visit, all of us older and wiser, and my parents had come to terms with how I chose to live my life.

I happily waved to them as they boarded a train on Memorial Day, Monday. The following Sunday I got a call from my parents’ neighbor. My tall and strapping 57-year-old father had dropped dead, no warning. Had we not been reconciled at that time, it would have been impossible for me to fly home, comfort my mother, plan a funeral, see him safely into the ground...I was my mother’s mainstay. And my conscience was clear. I was able to go forward in life without horrible regrets.

Although our situations are quite different (my husband is a prince!), my life would have been much harder.

I wouldn’t want that situation for Meghan or anyone. It’s something she would do for herself, not for him. I see this much differently from most of you. The guy’s a jerk, but not a monster. I wonder what advice her new in-laws would give her?

[ACO]

Originally Posted by ladongas

The guy’s a jerk, but not a monster. I wonder what advice her new in-laws would give her?

Meghan might feel differently. We don't know what this man has done behind the scenes in addition to what he has publicly let us see. I just don't see Meghan changing her number and completely cutting him out her life, knowing the media drama, without a very good reason.

I can understand your POV of having reconciled before a tragedy and I am happy that happened for you. I've seen the opposite occur as well as my good friend was disowned by her family and her father died without having fixed things. She didn't even bother to attend the funeral. She felt it was for the best as all he brought her was pain.

Family dynamics are tricky and it is clear the Markles are beyond dysfunctional. The fact this man keeps working with Samantha against Meghan tells me all I need to know about his so called love and respect for his youngest. "Get over it" indeed. I am sure her in laws are supporting her decision. Thomas will likely never be welcomed again.

[Zaira]

IMO, things are also beginning to clear up regarding the Markle family dysfunction. To have SO much estrangement in one family is a lot. Tom Sr from all of his kids except Meghan? And not only his kids, but seemingly also his grandkids? I think Tom has been problematic for a while and the center of a lot of family issues and Meghan always knew how to deal with it but things have spiraled given the new pressures. She appreciated his support but I wonder if that was just a tool for him to keep her on side? I have said before that while Meghan was still in Hollywood, it was a world he knew and maybe to his narcissistic mind it was a reflection of him. Royalty? That is absolutely outside of his arena and his control, and he pretty much says this in the Sun interview.

[Soula]

Originally Posted by MaiaMia_53

OMG re the additional stuff Markle Sr said (apparently to The Sun) about Meghan's 'pained' smile. Please, Mr. Markle, you are only adding to any discomfort she might be feeling. If Meghan is at all anguished right now, it has to be due to having to overcome the specter of odd family members such as yourself trying to tear her down, when this should be the happiest time of her life. Good grief!

I agree!

I'm not a fan of Meghan but I'm aghast at this situation with her family and I don't feel it's ever going to end. Because she's in the public eye they will continually have new fodder.

It might settle for a bit but can you imagine what will happen when she gets pregnant and has children?