The Duchess of Sussex: Family and Background

[Lady Reem]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

What matters to me is that we see that Harry and Meghan very much wanted to include her father in the wedding celebrations. They had clothing made not only for the wedding but other events. They offered security, they offered to have a minder set up for him during the wedding, they worked behind the scenes to stop the press from invading his privacy. They still offered forgiveness and understanding after the staged photos came out, they sat silent while Tom Sr. played games with TMZ instead of going through the proper channels regarding his supposed health and attending the wedding. After the wedding they called him then they went on their honeymoon. They return and immediately begin working and living their lives and yet Tom Sr. is upset and demanding a sit down with The Queen and they barely had a chance to start their married lives together. Sorry but you don't just whine to the press because The Queen is not at your beck and call. There is NO excuse for his behavior.

Turns out he was aiding the media to invade his own privacy all along...

But yes, I feel sad for Meghan’s husband and her in laws, and of course Meghan, too. No one deserves that.

[Zaira]

I think Tom Markle was a good father to his daughter growing up, for the most part. From Meghan's words, from her teachers words and even from the words of the friend who sold her out. I am sure they had their issues, but he seemed to absolutely dote on Meghan.

I think because she was by all accounts close to her dad, this betrayal hurts deeply.

I do do think the drama with her dad is hurting her more than perhaps people are giving credit for.

Tom should think about his daughter and what he is putting her through. His comments about her were very lovely and effusive in the GMB, but one thing that struck me was how much he kept saying "MY daughter." It just struck me as a very self centered viewing of Meghan and very possessive.

Meghan very obviously wanted him apart of her life. And while I do find it strange that he never met Harry, but more and more I think it was on HIM and him avoiding meeting Harry. I have no doubt Harry would have flown to MX or to LA if TM himself didn't want to fly.

I do think Tom is fully in his faculties and is much more media savvy than people give him credit for. He knew what he was doing was wrong hence the lies to the palace and to his daughter.

[Lady Nimue]

Originally Posted by AlowVera

What matters to me is that we see that Harry and Meghan very much wanted to include her father in the wedding celebrations. They still offered forgiveness and understanding after the staged photos came out, they sat silent while Tom Sr. played games with TMZ instead of going through the proper channels regarding his supposed health and attending the wedding. After the wedding they called him then they went on their honeymoon. They return and immediately begin working and living their lives and yet Tom Sr. is upset and demanding a sit down with The Queen and they barely had a chance to start their married lives together. Sorry but you don't just whine to the press because The Queen is not at your beck and call. There is NO excuse for his behavior.

Your summary all the more points to something odd about his behavior. Excuse is not the word, rather explain, and the explanation requires compassion. JMO.

Originally Posted by Lady Reem

Turns out he was aiding the media to invade his own privacy all along...

But yes, I feel sad for Meghan’s husband and her in laws, and of course Meghan, too. No one deserves that.

Well, it's something Meghan's in-laws are well acquainted with, not so? Not so long ago they had exactly that kind of self-serving and misguided behavior in one of their own. Funny how dynamics have a way of reappearing. Harry must be more understanding than most.

[Somebody]

Originally Posted by Lady Nimue

What puzzles me is how out-of-the-blue all this is. What? Total silence for months and then he's off and running. Clearly some unusual family dynamics on the Markle side. He had everyone's sympathy (I believe) and he has well-and-good trounced it to the point of now being frozen out of his royal daughter's life from this point forward.

This all start back in March when he decided to work with a paparazzi to stage fake photos, so it has been going on for 3 months now. That's only one month less than the period between engagement and the paparazzi set up.

Not sure that he had everyone's sympathy. I had a bad feeling about all of this since the engagement interview when Harry and Meghan told the world that Harry hadn't met her father yet. To me that was a clear indication that something was seriously off (at least between Meghan and her dad).

I was rather indifferent about him before but was pleased that both parents were included in the announcement.

[duchessrachel]

Originally Posted by Osipi

In order for that to happen, royal rob, TMZ would have to be covering William's Middle East tour.

I seriously don't believe that Tom Sr. understands that Kensington Palace, Buckingham Palace or any of the other British palaces are not there to conduct the royal family's personal communications. Nor does the Queen. Its a family run, owned and operated business which is in the monarchy business and that's the first and primary focus of their staff. As it should be.

Meghan has far more things to do, take care of and get adjusted to than to play media wars with anyone and eventually Tom Sr. is going to realize that he's not even close to even being a footnote in things. The wedding was where he would have had a part to play and that's over and done with and he's missed it mostly by his own choosing. There are no do overs.

It is sad to think about the loss of the wonderful relationship Thomas Markle could have had with Meghan, Harry, and the Royal Family if he had just been there for Meghan and behaved himself. He could not help the heart problems, but he could have helped the way he handled it. As it is, I imagine Doria will have a wonderful relationship with H & M as well as Charles and Camilla. And she will have full access to the grandchildren and be a part of H & M family life, but Thomas Markle has messed that up, unless he shows true repentance for his actions.

Originally Posted by Lady Reem

What gave Thomas the right to give ITV/GMA a photo of Doria for use? The man is just unbelievable. He respects no boundary, much less his youngest daughter’s wishes/plea!

I would imagine any amiable relationship that existed between him and Doria is probably kaput too.

[Lady Nimue]

Originally Posted by Somebody

This all start back in March when he decided to work with a paparazzi to stage fake photos, so it has been going on for 3 months now. That's only one month less than the period between engagement and the paparazzi set up.

To me that is within the 'out-of-the-blue'. It's all recent, tho the interviews are the most recent after such a long time of avoiding any such and even having said something to the effect that 'everyone [in his family] needs to shut-up'. It's with such instances that one can see the glaring disjunct in the man. He's not consistent.

[M. Payton]

One thing that is upsetting here, why is so many blaming this *OLD AGE* on Tom Sr? Do you realize that the world is full of people that are in very industry out there that are OLD.....we are not all senile, there are kings, queens, least we forget here HM of all people is OLD and she works daily and is in totally control of her decisions and how she lives her life.

Sr first of all *lives in foreign country alone*, he has property to take care of in the upkeep, in finances, he makes decisions each and every day as to what he wants to do, he is in touch with the world, he not sitting somewhere out of touch with the world, he either cooks at home or eats out(that right here shows me he makes decisions on what he wants to eat), he makes daily decisions all the time, so please give me a break with this *OLD AGE* crap! He had, well he said *he had and do we know for sure or was this another feel sorry for me thing he wants us all to believe*, this so called stunts put in *alone* somewhere, did anyone see Sam or Jr come to his aid?

[Osipi]

And that is common sense speaking out loud and clear. 73 isn't "old" by any means these days.

There are no excuses for bad decisions. Only consequences. Its unfortunate that Mr. Markle chose to go the route he did and it most likely has cost him dearly as he is finding out. We are getting to the point now where we never hear at all from Tom Jr. and even Samantha has been quiet lately. Tom Sr. should follow suit and just get on with his life. These people's minutes of fame has reached their expiration date. The wedding has come and gone and Meghan is settling into her new life and, if I've learned anything from royal watching Harry, they will do whatever it takes to keep their private lives private even if it means ostracizing one of Meghan's parents.

[soapstar]

An earlier mod note asked that everyone move on from discussing how much help KP and the BRF gave Thomas Sr. and who is responsible for the actions he has taken. So those comments have been deleted.

I’ve also deleted a ton of comments speculating about Meghan's thoughts/feelings, Thomas Sr.'s finances, his mental health, his parenting skills and how involved he was in Meghan's life when she was growing up.

As has been stated before, let's stay away from discussing the health and mental state of Meghan and her family members, and let's also move on from the age discussion.

If you feel a post (or posts) are against the forum rules, please report it instead of commenting in the thread.

[loonytick]

I still have trouble seeing Sr as a scammer. His two oldest children are, for sure. And the deals with the paps and GMB have Samantha’s fingerprints all over them. I wonder if she isn’t pocketing a hefty share of the money for herself. But he’s also blabbing to TMZ for free. No, I think he’s garden variety selfish and shortsighted. Just like he was reportedly once so focused on his happy little new family with Doria and baby Meg to the point of alienating his other kids, now his thoughts are so full of how frustrated he is with his public image that he’s not bothering to think about how his actions and words impact others.

I’m not defending him. It’s awful. I just don’t think it’s the crafty, scamming flavor of awful.

[Purrs]

Originally Posted by Lady Nimue

Your summary all the more points to something odd about his behavior. Excuse is not the word, rather explain, and the explanation requires compassion. JMO.
.

We all have different experiences that effect how we view this situation.

In my case, although I've got wonderful parents (in their 90s now), I have a childhood friend who's been dealing with toxic parents all her life. As a result, I'm less inclined to be compassionate or tolerant of people who knowingly hurt their family members because I've seen firsthand the damage they do.

Yes I believe Samantha is worse than Tom but Tom has continued to hurt her and doesn't care enough to stop. I prefer to reserve my compassion for the people like Meghan who are on the receiving end of this toxicity.

[Missy-]

He's not a scammer, he's a guy who had a quiet life set up just the way he wanted it. His kids were on their own, he never saw them and that was fine with all concerned. Now suddenly, because his daughter has a relationship with a prince, he's dragged into the limelight, one that his daughter has courted all her adult life but he never wanted.

He didn't sign up for this, Meghan did. Because of her he has had his privacy invaded and his world turned upside down. He supported her and was a good father by Meghan's own accounts. I feel sorry for him, and I think his daughter has failed him miserably. She's the selfish one, her father is a victim of her actions.

[ACO]

Thomas Markle is no victim and he proves it nonstop these days. His daughter not talking to him is his own fault and serves him right. Meghan needs to protect herself. Her father is not worth the stress.

[Osipi]

Meghan has two parents. Each one of them handled the limelight and public curiosity in their own ways. One chose to remain quiet and supportive of her daughter's privacy while the other, of his own free will, acted otherwise.

This is not something one can pin on Meghan, Harry, The Queen, Kensington Palace or anyone else. None of the players in these scenarios are puppets on a string or robots programmed to "fall in line". Mr. Markle is responsible for his own actions. No one else. We'll probably never know his true motives or his true intentions but only have his actions to go by.

For all we know, Tom Sr. is talking to his daughter every day on the phone and they're working things out. We only know what is in the media and with as a close watch we've had on Harry and Meghan, we *know* they're good at keeping things private. Its even possible that Tom Sr. is on a plane right now to London and a week's visit to Harry and Meghan under the radar. Or not.

I'm just going to sit back and see what happens next. I may have a really long wait too. Life goes on.

[Denville]

Originally Posted by Missy-

He's not a scammer, he's a guy who had a quiet life set up just the way he wanted it. His kids were on their own, he never saw them and that was fine with all concerned. Now suddenly, because his daughter has a relationship with a prince, he's dragged into the limelight, one that his daughter has courted all her adult life but he never wanted.

He didn't sign up for this, Meghan did. Because of her he has had his privacy invaded and his world turned upside down. He supported her and was a good father by Meghan's own accounts. I feel sorry for him, and I think his daughter has failed him miserably. She's the selfish one, her father is a victim of her actions.

I don't quite see how it is selfish for Meghan to have married Harry, which naturally brought he and her family into the public eye. Her acting career wasn't ever big enough to draw people to check out her parents and family but of course marryng a British royal is going to do so. however, I think that tehre is some truth in the fact that TOm M seems to have been something of a recluse, wasn't close to Meghan, and preferred a quiet life.. and now, he has been chased by the Press and Meg herself does not seem to have paid him a courtesy visit when she got engaged... so he may be trying to get a bit of attention and money out of this situation that he didn't really want...

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Its unfortunate because lately I see Harry and Meghan acting differently lately, and I think its due to this. I hope I'm just reading things wrong. Either way, if I was Meghan I would never talk to Tom again.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using The Royals Community mobile app

[M. Payton]

Originally Posted by Purrs

We all have different experiences that effect how we view this situation.

In my case, although I've got wonderful parents (in their 90s now), I have a childhood friend who's been dealing with toxic parents all her life. As a result, I'm less inclined to be compassionate or tolerant of people who knowingly hurt their family members because I've seen firsthand the damage they do.

Yes I believe Samantha is worse than Tom but Tom has continued to hurt her and doesn't care enough to stop. I prefer to reserve my compassion for the people like Meghan who are on the receiving end of this toxicity.

Even though some do not have wonderful parents they like me have become also less inclined to be compassionate or tolerate of people all because how they personally have been treated in life by others who are family members. I also reserve all my compassion for animals and children on this earth for they need that compassion and care and as adults, well they can take care of themselves just fine as Mr. Sr Markle seems to care only for one person on this earth, himself and what he can get out of it period.

No we are what is called the Renaissance Generation who have lived long lives and seen and done things that the younger generation as yet to learn....maybe ....hopefully....Thank you very much!

[Osipi]

I guess its true what my mother taught me a long time ago. If you see an older person with gray hairs, they've earned each and every one of them. The older we get, the more mistakes we have made, the more life's lessons have been thrown at us and we're all the better and wiser for facing the challenges. Being older does not exempt us from making mistakes.

I do tend to believe that Meghan holds what is called unconditional love for her father still. She may not approve or condone the mistakes her parent has made but along with Tom Sr. getting a few more gray hairs, his daughter will still love him. Regardless of anything that has happened. Meghan may have to treat him a bit differently and with kid gloves from here on out but that love will still be there.

[Cocoasneeze]

Well Mr Markle certainly is seeking the lime light now regardless of how much or little he wanted it before. He's seeking it out, now, he's contacting Piers Morgan and TMZ. And he's not speaking of things he has the right to speak about, he's talking about Meghan and her want to have children, their private conversations. Clearly Meghan and her father were close enough for her to have talked about all this with him. And for him to use her to score a good image with the public makes him extremely selfish.

[Lady Reem]

Originally Posted by M. Payton

Even though some do not have wonderful parents they like me have become also less inclined to be compassionate or tolerate of people all because how they personally have been treated in life by others who are family members. I also reserve all my compassion for animals and children on this earth for they need that compassion and care and as adults, well they can take care of themselves just fine as Mr. Sr Markle seems to care only for one person on this earth, himself and what he can get out of it period.

No we are what is called the Renaissance Generation who have lived long lives and seen and done things that the younger generation as yet to learn....maybe ....hopefully....Thank you very much!

I completely agree.

It is rather a shame for Meghan really and she must feel so let down and betrayed that Thomas Markle Sr. scammed with the paparazzi (in collusion with his eldest daughter according to Yvonne/Samantha herself) ..got caught out (thankfully) ..but humiliated her and Harry in the process. TMZ aside... He then went onto spew her husbands private conversations on national tv show here in the UK...and again, received payment for it. Yet not once did this .. “loving father”.. see fit to defend her against the relentless atrocious stuff his much older children from a different marriage had been saying about her - IN HIS NAME.

H&M had offered Thomas Sr. help & support but clearly he had his own agenda going. Will Meghan/Harry allow this man more access into their lives to cause even more damage and humiliation given his modus operandi? Time will tell... Oh well I’m sure in all this Meghan’s deeply grateful she at least has one parent she can trust. Her mum who has been a model of decorum & dignity.