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01-09-2017, 07:37 PM
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Moderator Emeritus
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 4,112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loonytick
Wow, that's a stretch of a statement. There were some marriages that were happy by our modern definition, yes, but also some truly dysfunctional messes and more than a few that worked primarily because the king and the queen essentially ran separate households and rarely saw each other. Thing is, in this day and age of constant media attention, that last option isn't really on the table any more, so it becomes all the more important for Harry and his family members to really have a true interest in and affection for the person they choose as a spouse, and the old rules of "suitability" become less reliable as an indicator of a royal marriage's success.
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First of all, the statement that Moonmaiden was responding to said that marriage by the rules never worked in the BRF. That is simply not true.
Second of all, what "the rules" are has changed roughly every generation since the reign of Queen Victoria. The options for marriage available to her were not the same as the ones available to her children or grandchildren, let alone her descendants a marrying hundred years after her death.
Thirdly, you can't judge the happiness of historic individuals and their marriages by modern standards. There were many successful marriages within the BRF over the last 100 that were happy by the standards of today, and even more that were happy by the standards of the day in which they occurred. There were marriages within the BRF that broke the rules of the day and were happy, as well as those that broke the rules (or changed the rules) and were unhappy.
Fourthly, people are acting like Harry and Meghan marrying would somehow break or change the rules... when the rules were changed well before Meghan entered the scene.
The Queen married within the rules of her day and had a happy marriage. Her sister changed the rules to marry a commoner, and was unhappy.
Charles married within the rules of his day and was unhappy, but Anne and Andrew both married outside of typical convention and ended up unhappy.
The "rules" aren't the issue, it's the people who enter into the marriage, their expectations, and their compatibility.
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01-09-2017, 08:00 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 8,783
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A quick reminder that we do not allow personal attacks on other posters here at TRF. This is explicitly stated in the rules and FAQs.
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01-09-2017, 08:15 PM
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Aristocracy
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Marietta, United States
Posts: 139
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I should say the arranged marriages Barely ever work In the BRF,very rare that they do...Never was a tiny exaggeration...
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01-09-2017, 09:50 PM
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Moderator Emeritus
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 4,112
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lilacmagnolia, can you name a single arranged marriage in the BRF in the last 60 years? Other than Charles?
You're making this grand sweeping claim that is not backed up by any fact. Yes, Charles was in a marriage that can be considered arranged. Yes, it was unhappy. None of his siblings were in arranged marriages. His aunt was not in an arranged marriage. His parents were not in an arranged marriage. His mother's cousins were not in arranged marriages.
Going further back, George VI and the Queen Mother were not in an arranged marriage. Nor was the marriages of any of his brothers. It's fair to say that they were pushed at times into marrying in general (which itself is what happened with Charles), but they weren't arranged marriages.
Arranged marriages have not been a thing in the BRF for a hundred years. And the arranged marriages that happened more than a hundred years ago were frequently happy according to the standards of the time.
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01-09-2017, 10:02 PM
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Royal Highness
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: st. paul, United States
Posts: 1,878
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish
Charles married a divorcee.
Charles, Anne, and Andrew are all divorcees.
There are also a plethora of divorcees in the expanded family - the Lascelles family being the closest to the throne with the most divorces.
It is no longer 1936. It isn't even 1955. Times have changed, as have attitudes towards divorce. This is no longer an issue.
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It wouldn't be an issue for the Queen giving her permission, but it could very well be an issue if they want to marry at Westminster Abbey. But if they want St. George's, then things should run pretty smoothly.
As for the American issue other posters are talking about. I do think it's an issue. Not for HM or for the rest of the BRF, but for Meghan herself. This would be a giant culture shock for her. As a self-described "loud, brash American" and a feminist. She would have to accept a muzzle on her mouth and personality. She would go from a country where everyone is born equal, at least in theory  . To a country with an ingrained class system, she will curtsy, she will address some by their titles, she will have to put up with a tabloid media that sneers at her social mobility.
Then she will have to give up acting, a passion of hers. She will have to say goodbye to her role with the UN, as the BRF carefully avoids the UN. Camilla, Sophie and Catherine all live close to their friends and family, and thus have an important support network that they can see frequently. Meghan's friends and family live in North America, frequent phone calls don't fill that gap. She can't fly out to see them more than about twice a year, or the media will give her the "Air Miles Meg" treatment. She will be very isolated in a new world that is at odds with her personality.
Maybe they can make it work. But Meghan will have more emotional hurdles than any of the other current spouses. If their relationship continues, I hope Meghan gives herself plenty of time to consider all her options, and to test out if she can handle living in the UK - an ocean away from her other life. That's why I wouldn't want them to marry before 2019.
Given all the sacrifices she will have to make, this marriage would only work if she loves Harry 100%, 99% would probably end in divorce. So I guess the real question is does she love Harry more than she loves herself? Is she okay with his needs being put in front of hers? Is she okay surrendering her identity? It's a tall order, and I don't envy the position she finds herself in.
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01-09-2017, 10:30 PM
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Imperial Majesty
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Midwest, United States
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It's all working for Crown Princess Mary. She left her whole life in Australia behind for a whole new life in Denmark. She seems to be doing pretty fantastic in her new royal life. Meghan could do the same. Family visits will come in handy, as it does for Mary.
Princess Grace did the same thing.
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"WE CANNOT PRAY IN LOVE AND LIVE IN HATE AND STILL THINK WE ARE WORSHIPING GOD."
A.W. TOZER
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01-09-2017, 10:35 PM
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Commoner
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Madison, United States
Posts: 49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss whirley
It wouldn't be an issue for the Queen giving her permission, but it could very well be an issue if they want to marry at Westminster Abbey. But if they want St. George's, then things should run pretty smoothly.
As for the American issue other posters are talking about. I do think it's an issue. Not for HM or for the rest of the BRF, but for Meghan herself. This would be a giant culture shock for her. As a self-described "loud, brash American" and a feminist. She would have to accept a muzzle on her mouth and personality. She would go from a country where everyone is born equal, at least in theory  . To a country with an ingrained class system, she will curtsy, she will address some by their titles, she will have to put up with a tabloid media that sneers at her social mobility.
Then she will have to give up acting, a passion of hers. She will have to say goodbye to her role with the UN, as the BRF carefully avoids the UN. Camilla, Sophie and Catherine all live close to their friends and family, and thus have an important support network that they can see frequently. Meghan's friends and family live in North America, frequent phone calls don't fill that gap. She can't fly out to see them more than about twice a year, or the media will give her the "Air Miles Meg" treatment. She will be very isolated in a new world that is at odds with her personality.
Maybe they can make it work. But Meghan will have more emotional hurdles than any of the other current spouses. If their relationship continues, I hope Meghan gives herself plenty of time to consider all her options, and to test out if she can handle living in the UK - an ocean away from her other life. That's why I wouldn't want them to marry before 2019.
Given all the sacrifices she will have to make, this marriage would only work if she loves Harry 100%, 99% would probably end in divorce. So I guess the real question is does she love Harry more than she loves herself? Is she okay with his needs being put in front of hers? Is she okay surrendering her identity? It's a tall order, and I don't envy the position she finds herself in.
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But again, those cultural differences and expectations aren’t unknown to her—No 35 year old woman goes into a relationship with someone like Harry with blinders on. You can guarantee that she has done her research and that Harry has also filled her in over the past 7 months. It’s also been heavily reported that she has been receiving guidance and advice from a couple of Harry’s advisors on how to handle the media attention, etc. She isn’t a naïve 20 year old--she knows what that life would entail.
Also—the UN isn’t the be-all-end-all of her charity work. She can very easily join (or develop) other charities focusing exactly on the same issues and have the ability to have a much greater influence in those areas. I also don’t see her being too concerned about leaving acting behind. She has admitted roles are hard for her to come by and she is also not getting any younger (Hollywood and their ridiculous focus on age and race :( ). Also, she’s always had an interest in politics, government, etc. I could see this being an attraction for her.
Regarding the moving issue--She moved from LA to the Midwest for college, then she worked in South America for a couple of years after college. Then she went from California to Canada. This girl wouldn’t have an issue with a move to the UK. She has also said in past interviews that she has multiple friends that live in the UK, so she would have the support of the BRF as well as personal friends outside of the family. I believe she also lived there for a bit filming a movie there. If she has shown anything, it’s that she’s adaptable.
As far as the traveling thing—she’s independently wealthy. She can afford to fly home as needed and can also afford to fly her family over to the UK for visits. Of course the media will complain about the security costs, but they’d find something to complain about anyway, so screw ‘em :)
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01-09-2017, 10:48 PM
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Moderator Emeritus
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 4,112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss whirley
It wouldn't be an issue for the Queen giving her permission, but it could very well be an issue if they want to marry at Westminster Abbey. But if they want St. George's, then things should run pretty smoothly.
As for the American issue other posters are talking about. I do think it's an issue. Not for HM or for the rest of the BRF, but for Meghan herself. This would be a giant culture shock for her. As a self-described "loud, brash American" and a feminist. She would have to accept a muzzle on her mouth and personality. She would go from a country where everyone is born equal, at least in theory  . To a country with an ingrained class system, she will curtsy, she will address some by their titles, she will have to put up with a tabloid media that sneers at her social mobility.
Then she will have to give up acting, a passion of hers. She will have to say goodbye to her role with the UN, as the BRF carefully avoids the UN. Camilla, Sophie and Catherine all live close to their friends and family, and thus have an important support network that they can see frequently. Meghan's friends and family live in North America, frequent phone calls don't fill that gap. She can't fly out to see them more than about twice a year, or the media will give her the "Air Miles Meg" treatment. She will be very isolated in a new world that is at odds with her personality.
Maybe they can make it work. But Meghan will have more emotional hurdles than any of the other current spouses. If their relationship continues, I hope Meghan gives herself plenty of time to consider all her options, and to test out if she can handle living in the UK - an ocean away from her other life. That's why I wouldn't want them to marry before 2019.
Given all the sacrifices she will have to make, this marriage would only work if she loves Harry 100%, 99% would probably end in divorce. So I guess the real question is does she love Harry more than she loves herself? Is she okay with his needs being put in front of hers? Is she okay surrendering her identity? It's a tall order, and I don't envy the position she finds herself in.
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I've actually been thinking about it, and I wonder if the Queen might not give Harry permission to allow him a degree of freedom in a way...
If the Queen grants them permission, then Meghan is going to have to give up a lot of her life. More than most others who have married into a royal family; she is by her own words an outspoken American, who has a successful career and her own relationship with the press and public. This would have to be given up or drastically altered in order to marry into what is the most well known royal family in the world, that comes with some fairly complex rules in regards to behaviour and is constantly under a huge amount of public scrutiny.
On the flip side, though, Harry no longer requires the Queen's permission to marry - he only requires the Queen's permission to marry if he wishes to remain in the line of succession. He could marry without permission and separate himself from the BRF; it certainly wouldn't remove him from the public eye, but it could drastically alter his position in such a way that what Meghan would have to give up would be much less.
I don't see it actually happening, but it's a possibility.
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01-09-2017, 10:48 PM
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Gentry
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Orlando, United States
Posts: 57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cepe
I don't know where Meghan is, but H is back in the UK
CC 9/1
Prince Henry of Wales, Joint Patron, the Royal Foundation of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry, this afternoon joined the Endeavour Fund Awards Ceremony Judging Panel at Kensington Palace.
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Slightly wrong. That event is in the 17th.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cepe
I don't know where Meghan is, but H is back in the UK
CC 9/1
Prince Henry of Wales, Joint Patron, the Royal Foundation of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry, this afternoon joined the Endeavour Fund Awards Ceremony Judging Panel at Kensington Palace.
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Next week we'll be hosting our inaugural @EndeavourFund Awards ceremony which will be attended by The Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry
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01-09-2017, 10:57 PM
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Commoner
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: New York, United States
Posts: 16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish
I've actually been thinking about it, and I wonder if the Queen might not give Harry permission to allow him a degree of freedom in a way...
If the Queen grants them permission, then Meghan is going to have to give up a lot of her life. More than most others who have married into a royal family; she is by her own words an outspoken American, who has a successful career and her own relationship with the press and public. This would have to be given up or drastically altered in order to marry into what is the most well known royal family in the world, that comes with some fairly complex rules in regards to behaviour and is constantly under a huge amount of public scrutiny.
On the flip side, though, Harry no longer requires the Queen's permission to marry - he only requires the Queen's permission to marry if he wishes to remain in the line of succession. He could marry without permission and separate himself from the BRF; it certainly wouldn't remove him from the public eye, but it could drastically alter his position in such a way that what Meghan would have to give up would be much less.
I don't see it actually happening, but it's a possibility.
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I could never see that happening. There would be too much public backlash.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcamp184
But again, those cultural differences and expectations aren’t unknown to her—No 35 year old woman goes into a relationship with someone like Harry with blinders on. You can guarantee that she has done her research and that Harry has also filled her in over the past 7 months. It’s also been heavily reported that she has been receiving guidance and advice from a couple of Harry’s advisors on how to handle the media attention, etc. She isn’t a naïve 20 year old--she knows what that life would entail.
Also—the UN isn’t the be-all-end-all of her charity work. She can very easily join (or develop) other charities focusing exactly on the same issues and have the ability to have a much greater influence in those areas. I also don’t see her being too concerned about leaving acting behind. She has admitted roles are hard for her to come by and she is also not getting any younger (Hollywood and their ridiculous focus on age and race :( ). Also, she’s always had an interest in politics, government, etc. I could see this being an attraction for her.
Regarding the moving issue--She moved from LA to the Midwest for college, then she worked in South America for a couple of years after college. Then she went from California to Canada. This girl wouldn’t have an issue with a move to the UK. She has also said in past interviews that she has multiple friends that live in the UK, so she would have the support of the BRF as well as personal friends outside of the family. I believe she also lived there for a bit filming a movie there. If she has shown anything, it’s that she’s adaptable.
As far as the traveling thing—she’s independently wealthy. She can afford to fly home as needed and can also afford to fly her family over to the UK for visits. Of course the media will complain about the security costs, but they’d find something to complain about anyway, so screw ‘em :)
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I completely agree! I think she'd take on the role and responsibilities without much difficulty.
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01-09-2017, 11:06 PM
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Heir Apparent
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Wherever, United States
Posts: 5,875
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish
I've actually been thinking about it, and I wonder if the Queen might not give Harry permission to allow him a degree of freedom in a way...
If the Queen grants them permission, then Meghan is going to have to give up a lot of her life. More than most others who have married into a royal family; she is by her own words an outspoken American, who has a successful career and her own relationship with the press and public. This would have to be given up or drastically altered in order to marry into what is the most well known royal family in the world, that comes with some fairly complex rules in regards to behaviour and is constantly under a huge amount of public scrutiny.
On the flip side, though, Harry no longer requires the Queen's permission to marry - he only requires the Queen's permission to marry if he wishes to remain in the line of succession. He could marry without permission and separate himself from the BRF; it certainly wouldn't remove him from the public eye, but it could drastically alter his position in such a way that what Meghan would have to give up would be much less.
I don't see it actually happening, but it's a possibility.
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That wouldn't happened. For one, if Harry gave up his place in line to the thorne, he would become a private individual. I highly doubt he'd be allowed to continue his public role as it is now. That happened with the Frisco. It's not quite as bad as Duke of Windsor, but it would change things. Harry would probably have to give up RPO without media and public attention dying down. And that could be a problem.
Second, Charles wants a streamlined royal family once the Queen passes. That's not going to work with just him, Camilla, and the Cambridges with young children. Harry and his wife will be expected to carry out royal duties as Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh ages and eventually passes.
Lastly, Meghan wouldn't be the only one in the BRF that has a political opinion. Besides, the issues she really care about aren't really that political. To encourage woman to participate in leadership positions and stay in school isn't really political. Or at least it shouldn't be. It's a human rights issue. And gun control wouldn't even be a problem in UK. I can see her with her own version of Sentebale working with girls in Africa or another third world region if her and Harry go the distance.
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01-09-2017, 11:35 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 8,783
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeeTee20
Slightly wrong. That event is in the 17th.
Next week we'll be hosting our inaugural @EndeavourFund Awards ceremony which will be attended by The Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry
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This is a seperate event to the one in Cepe's post from the Court Circular for January 9 - yesterday Harry joined the Endeavour Fund Awards Ceremony Judging Panel.
On January 17, he and William will attend the actual awards ceremony.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqui24
...Harry would probably have to give up RPO without media and public attention dying down. And that could be a problem...
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Even if Harry were to remove himself from the line of succession, I doubt he would have his security detail removed. The protection officers are not for the royal family only - they are for the PM, various MPs, ambassadors, visiting heads of state and "individuals deemed to be at risk". The public profile and level of interest in Harry is so high (and when you add in his front-line service in Afghanistan, giving further risk) that he would still fall into this category.
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01-09-2017, 11:54 PM
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Aristocracy
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Marietta, United States
Posts: 139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish
lilacmagnolia, can you name a single arranged marriage in the BRF in the last 60 years? Other than Charles?
You're making this grand sweeping claim that is not backed up by any fact. Yes, Charles was in a marriage that can be considered arranged. Yes, it was unhappy. None of his siblings were in arranged marriages. His aunt was not in an arranged marriage. His parents were not in an arranged marriage. His mother's cousins were not in arranged marriages.
Going further back, George VI and the Queen Mother were not in an arranged marriage. Nor was the marriages of any of his brothers. It's fair to say that they were pushed at times into marrying in general (which itself is what happened with Charles), but they weren't arranged marriages.
Arranged marriages have not been a thing in the BRF for a hundred years. And the arranged marriages that happened more than a hundred years ago were frequently happy according to the standards of the time.
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Someone in a comment before mine said the words "arranged marriage" that's why I used it...What I meant is the rules of the BRF were ridiculous back then...Their mother ordering their divorces and pressuring them into marriages to provide an heir...The Queen ruled her children's marriages no doubt.She made their decisions.
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01-09-2017, 11:55 PM
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Commoner
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Madison, United States
Posts: 49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JessRulz
This is a seperate event to the one in Cepe's post from the Court Circular for January 9 - yesterday Harry joined the Endeavour Fund Awards Ceremony Judging Panel.
On January 17, he and William will attend the actual awards ceremony.
Even if Harry were to remove himself from the line of succession, I doubt he would have his security detail removed. The protection officers are not for the royal family only - they are for the PM, various MPs, ambassadors, visiting heads of state and "individuals deemed to be at risk". The public profile and level of interest in Harry is so high (and when you add in his front-line service in Afghanistan, giving further risk) that he would still fall into this category.
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Do you have any media links to the judging event that harry took part in yesterday? I can't find anything online about this besides the 2 sentence comment from the CC. The only info I'm seeing is the info about the event taking place on the 17th.
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01-10-2017, 01:16 AM
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Imperial Majesty
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: alberta, Canada
Posts: 12,906
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The event is on January 17th. That date is taken from the organizations website. The confusion seems to be that the ceremony, and the participation of it by Harry and William, was announced today the 9th
Here is a link to the site saying the event is the 17th. The announcement though dated the 9th
Endeavour Fund to host inaugural Awards ceremony with The Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry | Endeavour Fund
Joining the panel isn't actually a physical event he attended. It was an announcement that he would be participating in thus event.
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01-10-2017, 01:42 AM
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Majesty
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: NearTheCoast, Canada
Posts: 6,305
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 I suppose that it was inevitable that pictures from Meghan's first marriage would surface.
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01-10-2017, 01:48 AM
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Imperial Majesty
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: alberta, Canada
Posts: 12,906
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Oh n Harry is going yo be heart broken and run away
He knows she was married. They she isn't some virgin. I highly doubt dome photos of her in Mexico on her wedding weekend will bother him. She certainly will have seen photos of him with other girls.
The beauty of adult relationships, you know and aren't threatened that you arent the first. That or he would have to be like Charles and marry a very young bride with little life experience. No thirty something bride will have not had serious relationships, even if not marriage.
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01-10-2017, 02:12 AM
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Gentry
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Orlando, United States
Posts: 57
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So the ex husband is in his feelings about Harry but not about Cory, the guy she dated after him? Leave that woman alone. It's not like it's a secret she was married before.
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01-10-2017, 02:34 AM
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Courtier
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: A Small Town, United Kingdom
Posts: 641
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dman
It's all working for Crown Princess Mary. She left her whole life in Australia behind for a whole new life in Denmark. She seems to be doing pretty fantastic in her new royal life. Meghan could do the same. Family visits will come in handy, as it does for Mary.
Princess Grace did the same thing.
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With the greatest respect, marrying into the Danish royal family and marrying into the British royal family are two entirely different things.
Mary could walk down Oxford Street in London or 5th Avenue in NY even today and the chances of anyone knowing who she is would be pretty slim. Outside of Scandinavia and Australia, she gets little media coverage.
Life is completely different for Kate or Harry's future wife. The level of press interest, and intrusion, is on a totally different planet.
In addition, I don't know a lot about Mary but wasn't she an estate agent before she got married? Or in marketing or advertising? Whatever, I don't think she was exactly particularly successful so giving that up won't have been all that difficult. Megan has managed a pretty admirable level of success in her acting career, there are many thousands if not millions of young actresses who would give their right arm for a job on a TV series that's so successful and respected as Suits.
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01-10-2017, 02:54 AM
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Serene Highness
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Somewhere in, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,184
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I imagine Harry would want to have a relationship with a woman, who has life experience, good and bad, a woman who likes adventure, to try new things, travel etc, an adult woman. That of course means, that the woman lived that kind of life even before she met Harry, her life didn't start last summer. Of course there's going to be wedding pictures of her last marriage. There's pictures of her being happy and living life.
I'm thinking daily fail haven't even found a speeding ticket to her name, though, and they're grasping at straws right now.
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