Hmmm I have been thinking over this whole "family she never had" dust up for a few days. It really rubbed me the wrong way when I initially heard it, so I wanted to sit with it a few days before commenting, so I could think it through, read some other interpretations and not jump to any conclusions. I have to say, it still rubs me the wrong way. I honestly don't think Harry meant anything by it. I don't think he was subtly throwing shade, or sending some kind of veiled message to her family. I just think they asked him a question, that he originally tried to answer in a very general way, then the host pushed a little, so he tried to be a bit more specific and said the first thing that came to mind. Nothing intentional or malicious. But I do think it came across rather thoughtless. If I were her family (and her family includes more than the two loud mouth half siblings) my feelings would be a bit hurt. I wouldn't go running to the media to yell about it, but I could understand feeling slighted.
Meghan herself has said that she had a very happy upbringing. Even when her parents divorced she has stressed that they made sure things stayed the same for her. They had family dinners, trips etc. Again this is what Meghan had said in interviews about her own upbringing. She has talked about how she was close to her grandmother and wore her charm bracelet as part of her costume as Rachel on Suits. We saw she was in family weddings, family get togethers, especially on her mom's side. I'm uncomfortable with suggesting that because her parents were divorced, somehow she didn't have a "family unit". There are plenty of children of divorce who would say they grew up in a secure family unit. Also as an only child I can say, I had loads of large, rowdy, happy family holidays. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, great aunts and uncles. Even the occasional person you weren't sure how they were related to you but they always came around! LOL! I was truly blessed.
And can we not pretend that the BRF is some shining example of family togetherness and functionality? They are no worse than any other family, so I won't put that on them, but they are certainly no better than any other family. They have their dysfunctions and scandals and falling outs, just like any other family. The family dynamics and traditions might be different than what Meghan is used to (and actually, I think this is what he really meant, because he was answering a question about introducing Meghan to family traditions), but to say "we're the family she never had I suppose" sounds like saying she didn't come from a family, at least not a very good one. It's one thing to say "different", that can mean anything.(Bigger, more structured, etc). "Never had", means it didn't even exist. And that is jut not accurate based on Meghan's own words. A family is not determined by size.
Like I said, I don't think Harry meant that, and I'm sure because he is a very caring person he made sure Doria and Tom knew that. And I'm sure they told him, "no offense taken". It's not the end of the world, and the press will move on. And I would not discount seeing some of Meghan's family, especially the Ragland side, being in attendance. We know they exist, but accept for the married in uncle we haven't heard from them. And the Markel side is more than the two half siblings.