Meghan Markle: Family and Background - November 2017-May 2018

[Abbigail]

Saying that she is perceived as white by others (and I think she would probably agree that most see her more as racially ambiguous) is very different from saying Meghan identifies more with her white side. She doesn't, based on her own words.

[Curbside]

Originally Posted by MaiaMia_53

I totally agree that no pressure one way or the other needs to be placed upon Meghan. The fact that she's such a positive, accomplished person who embraces all sides of her unique background is a blessing that would not have been as easily possible at certain points in the history of America. She is a lovely role model for all people. Still, the very fact of who Meghan is, and who she is marrying sparks conversation, and that's a good thing. Again, none of this is cut-and-dried and simplified, or easy to categorize and talk about. It's wonderful that the royal family is willing to embrace diversity and to loosen their old-fashioned strictures against divorce, as well as being open to Meghan's 'bi-racial' background. She is who she is, and that's great.

I think H&M's actions, choices and the good they will do in the world is enough for them to tackle. The issue of 'race' is too complicated and emotional for them to take on and debate. It would be a no-win for them. The fact that Meghan is accepted by the royals is enough in the larger sense re all of her unique differences. I'm a little skeptical though about people saying things like "... it's enough for her to be there, and that will set an example for young people that interracial relationships are okay." Although that is true to a large degree, it's still problematic in the sense that some people are so up in arms about Meghan having any small bit of black in her background, even when she doesn't really look black. That says a lot about deep-seated and often unconsciously biased cultural attitudes.

Have you seen the photos Harry took with Rihanna last year? Hubba hubba.

It used to be that if you acknowledged any black ancestry at all, you were considered black, period. I think it's great she defines herself as she wishes. The Ragland family members seems to come in all shades, which is common in African-American families. My kids vacillate between thinking of themselves as black and biracial. I think in the future, African identity will begin to disappear for individuals with smaller portions of African ancestry.

[ACO]

Originally Posted by Abbigail

Saying that she is perceived as white by others (and I think she would probably agree that most see her more as racially ambiguous) is very different from saying Meghan identifies more with her white side. She doesn't, based on her own words.

Exactly.

People called me and my siblings "Oreos" growing up because we dared to be the only minority's in our very white private school. Of course almost all my friends and boyfriends were white and I was accused of trying to be white. That wasn't the case. People tend to throw their own crap on people based on what they want to see or cause of what they don't understand or agree with.

Meghan is biracial and is proud of it. How that translates in her indentifying as white is beyond me. She is aware of how people see her and many light skinned people of color know this feeling and it's not always from non blacks either. Meghan knows who she is and expresses it.

In fact some of the harshest things tossed at me came from folks of color...

[MARG]

Originally Posted by American Observer7

According to Meghan her relationship with her father is much more than cordial. They are very close.

Anyway, it's weird that the two still have yet to meet and all this wedding planning is happening and Harry, a man he's never met is about to marry his baby, his youngest child.

Well, Meghan is an adult and has been married before. However, it's not like Harry can just hop on a plane to Mexico. Strangely enough, it is not the safest of places to visit and I am not au fait with any diplomatic niceties that need to be observed but the embassy would need to be informed and his RPO's would need to be able to carry arms if need be, which means all sorts of people would know he was coming . . . and there goes a discreet little visit.

Originally Posted by ACO

My guess is that if her father can't walk ,her then Doria will. Everyone knows how close they are so it wouldn't even be surprising to see her do it. Kinda would love it.

Now that I would love to see. In fact, I am sure that should her father be unable to walk her down the aisle, Meghan's first choice would be her mother.

[Skippy]

Originally Posted by Abbigail

Just catching up on the thread and wanted to say that this is basically how I feel. Even as someone who believes Harry meant no harm or offense, (certainly not towards Meghan's parents), his comment is still off putting to me. And I've heard all the explanations, even agree with some of them. But the fact that it's a quote that can easily be misinterpreted or interpreted differently means that Harry should have chosen his words more carefully. I'm sure he made it a point to let Meghan and her parents know he meant no offense and it's certainly not something I'll hold against him. I see it as a learning experience for him.

Only those who choose to misinterpret/interpret it differently. I agree with Kensington Palace's statement. Harry's expression speaks for itself. Meghan has spent her first Christmas with a large, extended, close-knit family. Very different from her own, no matter how it's "constructed".
Blood relations are not everything, it's the feeling that is evoked and especially during the holidays. That's what he meant.

He doesn't have to walk on his toes just in case he might hurt someone. It would be a lifelong task for him.

[Denville]

WHy say it at all? Surely he must have been aware that as her family does seem to have issues, it might be interpreted as a criticism of her family? He could have said "she had a lovely time here" without mentioning anything else.

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Harry shouldn't even acknowledge her fame seeking relatives nor be dictated by how they might respond to something he says.

[Denville]

Then why say anything? its obvious that her family has problems, and that some members of it don't like her. its possible that the ones who ARE close to her, I presume that seems to be her mother.. will feel hurt if there's an implication that she "never had a big fun family", until she met the RF. ( who are not always seen as the most wonderfully loving family anyway).

[MARG]

I think the BRF are closer than we could ever imagine. Given that "friends" tend to sell them out or make up stories the only people they can really rely on are their relatives.

Coming from a large family though not as big as theirs, there are times I thoroughly dislike members of that family but, heaven help anyone else who dare say anything about them. Right or wrong, good or bad, they are mine and I love them even when I don't like them.

I think the BRF are like that. Family but not always friends.

[Denville]

That's not my point.
there was no need to say anyting of this nature. He could have said "she enjoyed her first English Christmas very much"... without any referernce to her own family.
They may not care if it "pokes the bear" of her half siblings but its possible that her mother, who seems close to her, would be hurt by the implication that Meghan didn't have a good family and happy Christmases with her own famly.....

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Originally Posted by Denville

Then why say anything? its obvious that her family has problems, and that some members of it don't like her. its possible that the ones who ARE close to her, I presume that seems to be her mother.. will feel hurt if there's an implication that she "never had a big fun family", until she met the RF. ( who are not always seen as the most wonderfully loving family anyway).

You don't know what Meghan'smother thinks about any of this so why project your feelings onto her? She could see it as just as ridiculous as everyone else especially considering she knows Meghan did not grow up with a big family and the truthfulness of what Harry said. It has been explained too much already the difference between Xmas with your parents and Xmas with 20-30 people.

[Alisa]

I think it would be just awesome if BOTH her parents walked her down the aisle.

[Skippy]

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

You don't know what Meghan'smother thinks about any of this so why project your feelings onto her? She could see it as just as ridiculous as everyone else especially considering she knows Meghan did not grow up with a big family and the truthfulness of what Harry said. It has been explained too much already the difference between Xmas with your parents and Xmas with 20-30 people.

I agree, yeah. A lot of people fall over Harry's expression because THEY would feel hurt in that situation and because of that they assume that Meghan/her parents might feel hurt as well. And because there is no way of knowing they express the hurt for her/them. That's indeed called projection.

My guess is that her parents know full well what Harry meant and are not in the least bit bothered by it.

Done with this.

Originally Posted by Alisa

I think it would be just awesome if BOTH her parents walked her down the aisle.

Talk about presenting a united parental front!

[Lady Reem]

Originally Posted by WillVictoria

I also think we need to keep in mind logistics which would complicate Harry and Tom Sr. meeting. Due to age, health, and/or financial situations it might be difficult for Meghan's dad to make the trip to London. It's also possible that Tom Sr., Harry, and Meghan didn't want to deal with the immense preparations required for the couple to visit her father in Mexico. Mr. Markle seems like a private guy, who wouldn't want to deal with the fuss of RPOs and the potential of the press finding his house and camping out, as they did after the engagement broke. Maybe the three agreed to keep their conversations to phone/ video chat, and all feel fine with the situation? If it works for them, who am I to judge?

^^^^^^ THIS

[Abbigail]

Originally Posted by Skippy

Only those who choose to misinterpret/interpret it differently. I agree with Kensington Palace's statement. Harry's expression speaks for itself. Meghan has spent her first Christmas with a large, extended, close-knit family. Very different from her own, no matter how it's "constructed".
Blood relations are not everything, it's the feeling that is evoked and especially during the holidays. That's what he meant.

He doesn't have to walk on his toes just in case he might hurt someone. It would be a lifelong task for him.

Meh. I'm not suggesting he needs to walk on his toes, just be more mindful of his words. This is not just about hurt feelings, but the impression he's giving to everyone watching and listening. And I'm sorry but "it's the family she's never had" just sounds a bit cringey to me and yes, can easily be interpreted a number of ways. If you have to explain what he meant, as many have, then his comments weren't so clear after all, despite what KP says.

[jacqui24]

Originally Posted by Abbigail

Meh. I'm not suggesting he needs to walk on his toes, just be more mindful of his words. This is not just about hurt feelings, but the impression he's giving to everyone watching and listening. And I'm sorry but "it's the family she's never had" just sounds a bit cringey to me and yes, can easily be interpreted a number of ways. If you have to explain what he meant, as many have, then his comments weren't so clear after all, despite what KP says.

Not everything everyone say will be clear to everyone else. Especially with people waiting in the wings to misinterpret it. It’s a number of things he said off the cuff and people chose to focus on just this one thing and make trouble out of it. I get that it will happen, but unless we want Harry just to stop talking, it’ll always happen. So I say just say what you want and not sweat the little things. And this is a little thing.

[Abbigail]

Oh, I'm aware that there will always be those who spin things to fit their agendas. But knowing that there will be those who find the negative in everything is not an excuse to just say whatever. IMO, Harry should be more mindful of what he says, especially when speaking on behalf of someone else. I don't see this as some big controversy but it did create a bunch of stories and headlines that could have easily been avoided.

[ACO]

It is funny we talking about her parents being hurt by Harry's words when Samantha is on twitter right now ranting about how her father not hurt and how her brother is full of crap to suggest it.

These two can't even keep their stories straight. They not close to each other, let alone Meghan, and yet they can't keep Meghan's name out their mouths.

Just do you Meghan. Ignore these fools. Much ado about nothing.

[Rudolph]

Lesson number one for Meghan. Even the most innocuous statement or passing remark can be blown out of proportion by the press and social media.

I’m not a fan of royals speaking off the cuff because no good ever comes of it.

[Abbigail]

Not sure how this is a lesson for Meghan nor something she wasn't already aware of.

Royals have put their foot in their mouths in speeches and interviews where they've known questions in advance. Speaking off the cuff isn't necessarily the issue.