Harry and Meghan: Wedding Suggestions and Musings


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I'm curious whether or not Diana's extended family will be invited. Her aunt Lady Anne (Spencer) Wake-Walker attended William's wedding. I believe she's still living so I assume she'll be invited to Harry's too but might not be in any condition to attend (she must be 97 by now).

Does anyone know if Diana's maternal aunt Mary Roche was at William's wedding? I know Diana's first cousin Lord Fermoy was there.
 
I, too, would have been very surprised if the Spencer clan wasn't at the wedding and seated front and center across the aisle from the royal family. That was how they were seated for W&K's wedding.

At least this time, Lady Kitty Spencer will be photographed and not at a fashion show. Brings up another thought. Perhaps little Charlotte Diana Spencer will be part of the wedding party. Has she been suggested yet? She's over 5 years old. I think it would be nice to include her.
 
Pretty much the entire Spencer family went to the Cambridge wedding, including Earl Spencer.

I imagine we’ll have the same with Harry’s wedding.
 
Are the royals supposed to be close to the prime minister? Wouldn't that be called too political? I mean, Meghan's friend's in-laws were considered to be too political for that friend to be her bridal girl/woman, but now Harry is supposed to be tight with the prime minister?

What I meant is that, in the past, a prime minister would be more likely to be invited to a royal wedding than a footballer and a pop singer. There is nothing partisan about it. Queen Victoria had a social relationship with both Melbourne and Peel, even though she may have favored one over the other personally.
 
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I think it’s only Edward and Harry who will have no government or Commonwealth representatives at their wedding. I’m pretty sure Princess Anne had them at her first wedding.
 
We know Meghan has met some of the Spencer family since she mentioned meeting his Aunts during the engagement interview.


LaRae
 
I know the Spencers will be at Harry's wedding but what about Diana's maternal family, the Fermoys? Diana's first cousin Lord Fermoy attended William's wedding. Does anyone know if her aunt Mary Roche was there?
 
Yes she was but she's well into her 90s now, so don't know if she's in good health. If she is I'm sure she will attend.
 
I think it’s only Edward and Harry who will have no government or Commonwealth representatives at their wedding. I’m pretty sure Princess Anne had them at her first wedding.

I assume we won't see government representatives at princess Eugenie's wedding either.

I know the Spencers will be at Harry's wedding but what about Diana's maternal family, the Fermoys? Diana's first cousin Lord Fermoy attended William's wedding. Does anyone know if her aunt Mary Roche was there?

Would you invite all your greataunts and second cousins? They have a limited number of seats, so unless they are in touch regularly I don't see why Harry would feel the need to invite anyone else than his aunts, uncles and cousins on the Spencer side. It's not a large wedding like William's in which people were invited the couple had no relationship with at all, so a more extended invitation to his mother's family was in order.
 
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Yes she was but she's well into her 90s now, so don't know if she's in good health. If she is I'm sure she will attend.

Mary Roche is 83. Diana's other aunt Anne Wake-Walker is 97. I remember seeing Anne Wake-Walker at William's wedding but didn't see Mary Roche but of course the cameras didn't show everyone in the seats reserved for the Spencer side.
 
Would you invite all your greataunts and second cousins? They have a limited number of seats, so unless they are in touch regularly I don't see why Harry would feel the need to invite anyone else than his aunts, uncles and cousins on the Spencer side. It's not a large wedding like William's in which people were invited the couple had no relationship with at all, so a more extended invitation to his mother's family was in order.

Hard to say for other families. If they have Spencer/Roche family gatherings or stay in contact other ways, yes.

My niece is getting married in October. There will be a number of her great aunts and uncles and second cousins attending. And they are not inviting 600 guests.
 
Yes she was but she's well into her 90s now, so don't know if she's in good health. If she is I'm sure she will attend.

Lady Mary is only in her mid 80's. She was born August 1934, so she is 84 this summer. But not all people age as well as the queen and Prince Philip, so no idea what her health is like.

Would you invite all your greataunts and second cousins? They have a limited number of seats, so unless they are in touch regularly I don't see why Harry would feel the need to invite anyone else than his aunts, uncles and cousins on the Spencer side. It's not a large wedding like William's in which people were invited the couple had no relationship with at all, so a more extended invitation to his mother's family was in order.

I would, but I agree, its totally about the relationship you have or don't have with them. If my great aunts were alive, my Nana's sisters, they were my godmothers.

600 is not really 'limited' and they could have had more. But no there is really no call for them to have the widespread family unless they have some kind of relationship with them. We know they have close contact obviously with the extended Windsor clan, but not clear if they do with the Spencer/Roches.

A nice article about the Spencers:

Prince Harry is inviting Diana's entire Spencer family to his wedding | Daily Mail Online

I didn't see this but I saw the similar Yahoo article about the Spencers. Didn't bother reading, all that went through my head, was wow what they manage to try and turn into news.

It was mentioned in the engagement interview that Harry had taken Meghan to meet his Aunts. And he is known to be close to his cousins. His Uncle perhaps not as much but I would have been shocked to not see him there.

At least this time, Lady Kitty Spencer will be photographed and not at a fashion show. Brings up another thought. Perhaps little Charlotte Diana Spencer will be part of the wedding party. Has she been suggested yet? She's over 5 years old. I think it would be nice to include her.

Only Charlotte I expect in the wedding is the obvious one ?

They have enough family members and friends with kids to choose from. I don't think Harry is that close to his Uncle and his newest wife. Between George and Charlotte, Harry's godchildren, and the children of Meghan's friends, they have plenty of choices. Not to mention the Windsor family.
 
Would you invite all your greataunts and second cousins? They have a limited number of seats, so unless they are in touch regularly I don't see why Harry would feel the need to invite anyone else than his aunts, uncles and cousins on the Spencer side. It's not a large wedding like William's in which people were invited the couple had no relationship with at all, so a more extended invitation to his mother's family was in order.

I'm not married but yes, my siblings invited my great-aunts and uncles to their weddings.

Inviting extended family members is a nice way of honoring that side of the family, whether you have a close relationship with them or not. I'm sure Lady Anne Wake-Walker, who probably barely knows William and Harry, felt a great deal of Spencer pride when she attended William's wedding. By including the Fermoys, William also honored his deceased grandmother Frances Shand Kydd.

Yes, Harry's wedding will be smaller, but I hardly think reserving two seats for a couple of elderly great-aunts would be that difficult. Especially when you consider the fact that very few of Meghan's relatives will be there.
 
Hard to say for other families. If they have Spencer/Roche family gatherings or stay in contact other ways, yes.

My niece is getting married in October. There will be a number of her great aunts and uncles and second cousins attending. And they are not inviting 600 guests.

Exactly, if they are regularly in touch, sure, invite a few of them (example: one of my first cousins-once-removed is also my sister's best friend; so, not only my sister but also my parents (her greataunt and greatuncle) traveled to Canada to attend her wedding - while most of her uncles and aunts did not; nor did her grandmother due to her age).

If there is no regular interaction, it would be perfectly normal for them not to attend.

I'm not married but yes, my siblings invited my great-aunts and uncles to their weddings.

Inviting extended family members is a nice way of honoring that side of the family, whether you have a close relationship with them or not. I'm sure Lady Anne Wake-Walker, who probably barely knows William and Harry, felt a great deal of Spencer pride when she attended William's wedding. By including the Fermoys, William also honored his deceased grandmother Frances Shand Kydd.

Yes, Harry's wedding will be smaller, but I hardly think reserving two seats for a couple of elderly great-aunts would be that difficult. Especially when you consider the fact that very few of Meghan's relatives will be there.
If Meghan's immediate family is NOT attending it would be even weirder to invite far relatives of his side that they hardly know...

If they 'only' invite his uncles, aunts and cousins they number of Spencer family members (21 adults) might already exceed Meghan's total number of family members (and that is without his paternal family):

1 & 2: Lady Sarah & Neil McCorquodale
3 & 4: Emily Jane & James Hutt
5 & 6: George Edmund & Bianca McCorquodale
7 & 8: Celia Rose McCorquodale & fiancé George Woodhouse
9 & 10: Lady Jane & Baron Robert Fellowes
11 & 12: The Hon. Mrs. Laura Jane & Nick Pettman
13 & 14: The Hon. & The Hon. Mrs. Alexander Robert Fellowes
15: The Hon. Eleanor Ruth Fellowes
16 & 17: The Earl & Countess Spencer
18: Lady Kitty Eleanor Spencer
19: Lady Eliza Victoria Spencer
20: Lady Katya Amelia Spencer
21: Viscount Althorp
 
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:previous: Its a given, in any wedding in the BRF, the BRF side is going to have more family.

BRF and Spencers:
Wales-4 adults
Anne-6 adults
Yorks-4 adults
Wessex-4 as I think James will be old enough to come
Queen and Philip-2
Kents-20 (up to 25 is Lady Helen's kids come, didn't to Cambridge) and Ella's boyfriend
Gloucesters- 8 adults
Margarets family- 8
Spencers-21 adults and possibly 2 older kids (Lara and Edmund)

so 76 (up to 82 depending on younger members who may be invited).

On Meghan's side:
-Dad
-Mom
-Ashleigh Hale
-Christopher

Maybe some extended family, we don't know how close she is to any of them. All her grandparents are deceased, but she has aunts and uncles. But as far as we know there could only be 4 on her side.

Even Kate, who has a larger family then Meghan, only had 22 family members. More then Meghan but certainly not even a drop of the Windsor list.

She has more in common with Sophie then the wedding venue and private. Beyond her parents Sophie had her brother and sister in law. And actor Thane Bettany who is not only her godfather but also her step-uncle.
 
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If Meghan's immediate family is NOT attending it would be even weirder to invite far relatives of his side that they hardly know...

If they 'only' invite his uncles, aunts and cousins they number of Spencer family members (21 adults) might already exceed Meghan's total number of family members (and that is without his paternal family):

1 & 2: Lady Sarah & Neil McCorquodale
3 & 4: Emily Jane & James Hutt
5 & 6: George Edmund & Bianca McCorquodale
7 & 8: Celia Rose McCorquodale & fiancé George Woodhouse
9 & 10: Lady Jane & Baron Robert Fellowes
11 & 12: The Hon. Mrs. Laura Jane & Nick Pettman
13 & 14: The Hon. & The Hon. Mrs. Alexander Robert Fellowes
15: The Hon. Eleanor Ruth Fellowes
16 & 17: The Earl & Countess Spencer
18: Lady Kitty Eleanor Spencer
19: Lady Eliza Victoria Spencer
20: Lady Katya Amelia Spencer
21: Viscount Althorp

Why would it be weird? It is what it is.

When my brother and sister-in-law married, the groom's relatives far outnumbered the bride's--all of hers except her mother live in Europe. And our mother had 5 siblings, our dad had six--we have lots of relatives and 70% of them came to the wedding.
 
Not everybody had a large nuclear family or comes from a large family. Meghan herself doesn’t because she describes herself as an only child and Harry intimated as much with his “....family she never had” comment. And she is after all the ONLY child her parents had together. I think it’s safe to say her parents will of course attend the wedding, well I’m certain Doria will as she was there with Meghan at her first one. I think some extended family/relatives she maintains familial ties with or those she at least considers to be part of her wider family will also be invited.
 
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If Meghan's immediate family is NOT attending it would be even weirder to invite far relatives of his side that they hardly know...

If they 'only' invite his uncles, aunts and cousins they number of Spencer family members (21 adults) might already exceed Meghan's total number of family members (and that is without his paternal family):

1 & 2: Lady Sarah & Neil McCorquodale
3 & 4: Emily Jane & James Hutt
5 & 6: George Edmund & Bianca McCorquodale
7 & 8: Celia Rose McCorquodale & fiancé George Woodhouse
9 & 10: Lady Jane & Baron Robert Fellowes
11 & 12: The Hon. Mrs. Laura Jane & Nick Pettman
13 & 14: The Hon. & The Hon. Mrs. Alexander Robert Fellowes
15: The Hon. Eleanor Ruth Fellowes
16 & 17: The Earl & Countess Spencer
18: Lady Kitty Eleanor Spencer
19: Lady Eliza Victoria Spencer
20: Lady Katya Amelia Spencer
21: Viscount Althorp

Yes, but members of the extended Royal Family will probably be invited simply because they belong to the Royal Family, not because they have a close relationship with Harry or Meghan.

Meghan's situation is different. She has made a conscious decision to distance herself from her siblings. I doubt Harry knows Anne Wake-Walker, Mary Roche, or Lord Fermoy very well but the separation wasn't planned. It just happened - they've never had an opportunity or a reason to build a relationship. But he may still want to honor them - and by extension his mother's and his maternal grandmother's heritage - with an invitation. I don't think it would be "'weird."
 
:previous: Its a given, in any wedding in the BRF, the BRF side is going to have more family.

BRF and Spencers:
Wales-4 adults
Anne-6 adults
Yorks-4 adults
Wessex-4 as I think James will be old enough to come
Queen and Philip-2
Kents-20 (up to 25 is Lady Helen's kids come, didn't to Cambridge) and Ella's boyfriend
Gloucesters- 8 adults
Margarets family- 7 possibly 8, depending on if Serena gets invited due to divorce
Spencers-21 adults

so 76 (up to 80 depending on younger members who may be invited).

On Meghan's side:
-Dad
-Mom
-Ashleigh Hale
-Christopher

Maybe some extended family, we don't know how close she is to any of them. All her grandparents are deceased, but she has aunts and uncles. But as far as we know there could only be 4 on her side.

Even Kate, who has a larger family then Meghan, only had 22 family members. More then Meghan but certainly not even a drop of the Windsor list.

She has more in common with Sophie then the wedding venue and private. Beyond her parents Sophie had her brother and sister in law. And actor Thane Bettany who is not only her godfather but also her step-uncle.
Of course, the royal family is larger. However, the argument was: "Meghan's side of the family is small, so let's add more very distant members of Harry's maternal family that he doesn't really know", that's what doesn't make sense to me...
 
Not everybody had a large nuclear family or comes from a large family. Meghan herself doesn’t because she describes herself as an only child and Harry intimated as much with his “....family she never had” comment. And she is after all the ONLY child her parents had together. I think it’s safe to say her parents will of course attend the wedding, well I’m certain Doria will as she was there with Meghan at her first one. I think some extended family/relatives she maintains familial ties with or those she at least considers to be part of her wider family will also be invited.

So, are you sure that she doesn't have several great-aunts and great-uncles and second cousins that she could invite to the wedding; next to all her uncles, aunts and cousins? As that was the suggestion that I was responding to. I don't think it would be logical to do so, especially not if she has no relationship with them but that was suggested for Harry's maternal family, so I'd expect the same treatment for Meghan's.
 
Isn't this reality just a rehash of the whole rotten lettuce throwing episode at Meghan because parts of her family cannot be trusted to just show up and have a nice time at a nice event? We need to quit reinterpreting this, IMO.

Who really cares who has more and who has less at a happy event like a wedding? I watch it for the happy, the hats, the uniforms, the music, the flowers, the tears, the vows. I also watch to see which children misbehave, who sings, who gets bored and who pays attention. But I do not count who has more people on their side. All the seats will be filled, not matter what side. :whistling:

:previous: Its a given, in any wedding in the BRF, the BRF side is going to have more family.

BRF and Spencers:
Wales-4 adults
Anne-6 adults
Yorks-4 adults
Wessex-4 as I think James will be old enough to come
Queen and Philip-2
Kents-20 (up to 25 is Lady Helen's kids come, didn't to Cambridge) and Ella's boyfriend
Gloucesters- 8 adults
Margarets family- 7 possibly 8, depending on if Serena gets invited due to divorce
Spencers-21 adults

so 76 (up to 80 depending on younger members who may be invited).

On Meghan's side:
-Dad
-Mom
-Ashleigh Hale
-Christopher

Maybe some extended family, we don't know how close she is to any of them. All her grandparents are deceased, but she has aunts and uncles. But as far as we know there could only be 4 on her side.

Even Kate, who has a larger family then Meghan, only had 22 family members. More then Meghan but certainly not even a drop of the Windsor list.

She has more in common with Sophie then the wedding venue and private. Beyond her parents Sophie had her brother and sister in law. And actor Thane Bettany who is not only her godfather but also her step-uncle.
 
Of course, the royal family is larger. However, the argument was: "Meghan's side of the family is small, so let's add more very distant members of Harry's maternal family that he doesn't really know", that's what doesn't make sense to me...

But we really don't know what Harry's relationship is with his maternal great aunts, etc. For all we know they all go to Jane's or Sarah's for the weekend sometimes for family reunions.

In the end it doesn't matter, if Harry wanted them invited for whatever reason, they were.
 
Of course, the royal family is larger. However, the argument was: "Meghan's side of the family is small, so let's add more very distant members of Harry's maternal family that he doesn't really know", that's what doesn't make sense to me...

The argument was this: "Inviting extended family members is a nice way of honoring that side of the family, whether you have a close relationship with them or not."

The statement I made about Meghan's family was simply to reiterate my belief that, however small Harry's wedding will be, finding room for two elderly great-aunts wouldn't be that difficult. I did NOT state it was a reason to invite them.
 
Why would it be weird? It is what it is.

It is weird for the bride not to invite her brother and sister and hardly any cousins, nieces and nephews, and at the same time suggest that the groom should invite relatives in a further degree that he doesn't have a relationship with (either)... because Meghan is (probably) not inviting many family members.

Why would it be logical for Harry to invite relatives he doesn't really know (on his non-royal side) and for Meghan to not invite relatives she doesn't really know? It seems far more logical to me that either they choose to invite lots of relatives even if they don't have a personal relationship with them on both sides OR choose to only invite those whom they personally know (next to those they 'have to' invite as members of the royal family) on both sides.

My point never was that the numbers should be equal.

But we really don't know what Harry's relationship is with his maternal great aunts, etc. For all we know they all go to Jane's or Sarah's for the weekend sometimes for family reunions.

In the end it doesn't matter, if Harry wanted them invited for whatever reason, they were.

Indeed, so that's why I've stated from the start that 'if they personally know them, of course, they should be invited' but not 'just' because they are greataunts and greatuncles (unless it is the custom in the family that they attend the weddings of ALL their greatnieces and nephews).

The argument was this: "Inviting extended family members is a nice way of honoring that side of the family, whether you have a close relationship with them or not."

The statement I made about Meghan's family was simply to reiterate my belief that, however small Harry's wedding will be, finding room for two elderly great-aunts wouldn't be that difficult. I did NOT state it was a reason to invite them.
Thanks for the clarification. I'm sure room can be found - especially since no officials have to be invited - :flowers: if that was the wish of the couple.

However, I still have an issue with applying the 'honoring that side of the family' (which is sufficiently honored by inviting the Spencer aunts/uncles and cousins, as they are the off-spring of both Diana's parents, not just of her paternal family) if that is only applied to Harry's and not to Meghan's family.
 
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So, are you sure that she doesn't have several great-aunts and great-uncles and second cousins that she could invite to the wedding; next to all her uncles, aunts and cousins? As that was the suggestion that I was responding to. I don't think it would be logical to do so, especially not if she has no relationship with them but that was suggested for Harry's maternal family, so I'd expect the same treatment for Meghan's.

:previous:
I think some extended family/relatives she maintains familial ties with or those she at least considers to be part of her wider family will also be invited.

PLUS, the BRF usually have more family in attendance than the family of those marrying in.

@Countessmeout - Samantha’s children weren’t at Meghan’s other wedding and I think it’s a mighty big stretch to think things are going to be any different this time around. But you know what? Have fun thinking things will be different ...:flowers: Why do you lump Samantha’s children as part of Meghan’s immediate family? Samantha is not a member of Meghan’s immediate family and Meghan does not regard her as such either.

@Somebody - Samantha & her brother Tom Jr aren’t Meghan’s immediate family and she doesn’t consider them to be.
 
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It is weird for the bride not to invite her brother and sister and hardly any cousins, nieces and nephews, and at the same time suggest that the groom should invite relatives in a further degree that he doesn't have a relationship with (either)... because Meghan is (probably) not inviting many family members.

Why would it be logical for Harry to invite relatives he doesn't really know (on his non-royal side) and for Meghan to not invite relatives she doesn't really know? It seems far more logical to me that either they choose to invite lots of relatives even if they don't have a personal relationship with them on both sides OR choose to only invite those whom they personally know (next to those they 'have to' invite as members of the royal family) on both sides.

My point never was that the numbers should be equal.

Because the system Harry was born into is based on family and heritage. That's why extended members of the Royal Family are automatically invited.

By inviting a Spencer great-aunt, a Fermoy great-aunt, and the head of the Fermoy family Harry would be honoring his maternal family and heritage - a nice gesture to mother and maternal grandmother. I assume that's why William included them. Whether or not Harry feels the same remains to be seen.

But Meghan was not born into that system. Her path in life wasn't dictated by who her parents or grandparents were. Harry and Meghan's role will largely be defined by Harry's family and heritage.

Please keep in mind that my original question only asked if the extended Spencers and Fermoys would be invited, not why they should or should not be.
 
16 & 17: The Earl & Countess Spencer
18: Lady Kitty Eleanor Spencer
19: Lady Eliza Victoria Spencer
20: Lady Katya Amelia Spencer
21: Viscount Althorp

What about Edmund & Lara?
 
Of course, the royal family is larger. However, the argument was: "Meghan's side of the family is small, so let's add more very distant members of Harry's maternal family that he doesn't really know", that's what doesn't make sense to me...

Sorry I never heard the suggestion the reason they would invite them was to fill in the extra seats. Simply that they would honor the extended family of Harry by inviting other members. Those proposed were at the Cambridge wedding, so there is some connection. The only argument for space, would be that of course WA had more seats. But its not that Harry and Meghan are hurting for space either.

I assume extended family wise should also include Camilla's son and daughter with their spouse/s. I would think Tom and Laura would be invited as well.

What about Edmund & Lara?

They are 15 and 12, may be on the younger end in Lara's case, but I'd not be surprised to see them there. I am sure we will see some younger (10 and above) like James.


@Countessmeout - Samantha’s children weren’t at Meghan’s other wedding and I think it’s a mighty big stretch to think things are going to be any different this time around. But you know what? Have fun thinking things will be different ... Why do you lump Samantha’s children as part of Meghan’s immediate family? Samantha is not a member of Meghan’s immediate family and Meghan does not regard her as such either.

There is rumor neither was Tom Sr. but I don't see any doubt he will be at this wedding.

Destination weddings are very different things. They often have smaller guest lists. Friends and perhaps some family. This is a very different situation. While the wedding is in a foreign country for Meghan, it is a 'family wedding'. So no, I wouldn't rule out family members who weren't at her first.

How is Samantha not a member of her immediate family? She is Meghan's half sister. Parents and siblings are as 'immediate' family as you get. Meghan may not be close to her half siblings because of the age difference but they are certainly her immediate family. And Samantha's kids are not simply 'distant family' or Samantha's kids. They are Meghan's nieces and nephew. Ones she was close to growing up, when she was with her dad, likely because she was of age with them and not their mother. From social media, we know she has a relationship with Ashleigh.
 
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