Harry and Meghan: Wedding Suggestions and Musings

[O-H Anglophile]

Originally Posted by Somebody

But not seeing your dad for a year and a half and not introducing your future husband to your father in person are clear signs of a not so close relationship. So, I would instead say that I haven't seen any evidence that they are close...

If they all lived in the same city during that time I'd agree. But they've lived in three, then two countries thousands of miles apart. I believe Harry met Doria because she traveled to where Meghan and Harry were. Sometimes logistics and life realities conspire against what people would like to do or have happen.

[Curryong]

I don't think any of us know the dynamics between Tom Snr and Meghan. I'm a longtime Harry fan, so I hope this isn't going to be taken the wrong way, but in hindsight I think that there should have been a meeting arranged between Harry and Tom just after the engagement. I'm sure they would have got on well, and some contact between them (and perhaps some protocol explained) may have calmed Tom's nerves.

I do think that Tom is reclusive and has shown some incredibly bad judgement. It's not a hanging offence however, and I just hope that Meghan can lure him to London even if they have to fly him by private plane, health permitting.

If it doesn't work out then I'm sure Doria will walk with her daughter.

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I agree that Harry should have met Tom Sr., Tom being reclusive or living in Mexico is no excuse. Meet him half way, take a private flight then drive if you have to! Ride a !!!!

[TLLK]

I don't think any of us know the dynamics between Tom Snr and Meghan. I'm a longtime Harry fan, so I hope this isn't going to be taken the wrong way, but in hindsight I think that there should have been a meeting arranged between Harry and Tom just after the engagement. I'm sure they would have got on well, and some contact between them (and perhaps some protocol explained) may have calmed Tom's nerves.

I agree. A meeting between Harry and Tom before the engagement announcement might have even been better.


But hindsight is 20/20 and I hope that going forward that things between Meghan and her father will be all right.

[Zaira]

Perhaps Harry did try to meet her dad before? It was reported at the time(s) that he flew Doria to London and to Toronto at his own expense and they met other times too. I cant imagine he didn't extend something similar to Tom Sr. It doesn't seem in character at all for Harry to not have tried to meet his FIL.


So, IDK, I am again led to believe that was a choice made by Tom Sr.

[FashionMaven]

Originally Posted by wyevale

Cliveden is very lovely, but terribly grand [My parents has their Golden Wedding shindig there].
Interestingly it has STRONG connections with the USA, since it was once the home of Nancy Astor..

OMG that is fabulous!!! Bit of bright news to help make today a bit better. Congrats to your parents for such a lovely affair!!

[Countessmeout]

Originally Posted by Zaira

Perhaps Harry did try to meet her dad before? It was reported at the time(s) that he flew Doria to London and to Toronto at his own expense and they met other times too. I cant imagine he didn't extend something similar to Tom Sr. It doesn't seem in character at all for Harry to not have tried to meet his FIL.


So, IDK, I am again led to believe that was a choice made by Tom Sr.

If Tom's health is as questionable as it seems, offering to fly him some where may not have been the issue. Also he is reclusive, not about to appear at IG and if he got flown into London, he was likely to face the press. It would have been nice if something could have been worked out on neutral ground. Some where that Tom wouldn't have had to travel much. And where he may not have been over whelmed with all the royal pomp either.

Yes Tom worked in Hollywood but he worked behind the scenes. He wasn't the glamorous parties and such type. Even his emmy he wouldn't have gone to the ceremonies. Going to the royal palace and all that can be intimidating for many people.

[O-H Anglophile]

So I had a thought that could be totally off the mark and is based on nothing except the fact that Tom Sr didn't fly to Canada to meet Harry and now when it is time to fly to London he seems to have had a meltdown. Pure speculation, but rather than his health being an issue, could he have a phobia about flying?

[Purrs]

Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile

So I had a thought that could be totally off the mark and is based on nothing except the fact the Tom Sr didn't fly to Canada to meet Harry and now when it is time to fly to London he seems to have had a meltdown. Pure speculation, but rather than his health being an issue, could he have a phobia about flying?

I've wondered that as well. (I knew someone who had that phobia and it took them a lot of therapy to get over it and finally be able to fly.) I've also wondered if he has some form of anxiety disorder (panic attacks can feel like a heart attack.) If so, he has my sympathy, they can be terrible.

[Curryong]

It's probably a mixture IMO. Perhaps he doesn't like flying but it's all got melded together with all the drama with his older kids, worry about playing a part in a Royal wedding, a nightmare to think that the eyes of millions of people would on him for someone with reclusive tendencies. It was also not knowing what was going to go on when he met the royal family. it was IMO almost certainly an amalgam of things and so he probably worked himself up into 'a state' of nerves.

You pick your friends, not your family, and I really can't see how the way that three of the Markles have behaved is Meghan's fault or responsibility in any way. They are all adults, although the way Samantha carries on and is still doing so today I sometimes wonder!

[Ish]

Let's keep the discussion of the Middletons out of this thread.

[O-H Anglophile]

Originally Posted by Curryong

It's probably a mixture IMO. Perhaps he doesn't like flying but it's all got melded together with all the drama with his older kids, worry about playing a part in a Royal wedding, a nightmare to think that the eyes of millions of people would on him for someone with reclusive tendencies. It was also not knowing what was going to go on when he met the royal family. it was IMO almost certainly an amalgam of things and so he probably worked himself up into 'a state' of nerves.

All put together like that does sound very stressful. Enough to make someone not think clearly and make poor decisions.

[Dman]

I’m dealing with my own issues, but my heart goes out to Meghan. I know she’ll be okay though. She has Harry, her mother, friends and the royal family around her. I hope she and Harry enjoy this beautiful and life changing celebration that’s to come in a few days now. God bless Harry and Meghan!

[Curryong]

Yes, Dman, God bless them, and you for thinking of them at this difficult time.

[Jacknch]

A few posts discussing issues that are being discussed in the Family thread have been removed. We may discuss Tom Sr not attending the wedding here and the impact it may have on the wedding details. Posts discussing the Markle Family generally can take place in the Family thread. Thanks.

[Jantie]

Originally Posted by Alliec76

I've been trying to take in all the events of today and process. I think that there seems to be a lot going on behind the scenes that we just aren't privy too. I'm certainly not making excuses for her father, but is it possible he's got some mental issues going on? I know from dealing with it in my own family, you can't make grown people get help. They literally have to hurt someone else or themselves before the state will step in. We know his other kids are good for nothings, perhaps Meghan has known this all along and has been trying to help as she can. And it might also explain why she and Harry and KP continue to ask for privacy and respect for him. They may know more about whatever his situation is than we do.

Something does not add up here, and I truly believe there is more going on than meets the eye. It is obvious her father was a good father to her growing up. It is one of the reasons Samantha hates her so much. And from everything Meghan has said she adores her father. This is probably gut wrenching and painful for her. If he does not come Doria certainly should be able to walk her down the aisle. She has,obviously been her rock and constant support from day one. But, I disagree that her walking by herself would be sad or lonely. If she chooses that route I would say good for her.

Thomas Sr. has obviously made a mess of things and it had,cast a,shadow over Meghan and Harry's day. But I have a hard time believing one goes from radio silence for months on end, to this overnight. Something is going on with her dad.

Lets not forget how Prince Henrik's last few pronouncements were received. Yes it will be sad for Meghan but imagine if the external pressures and stresses Thomas Sr has been exposed to exacerbated an early or even known dementia. We thought my dad was deaf and stubborn when really a dementia meant he didn't understand what we were saying. It will be a very sad walk for Meghan regardless of what has really happened, but she will be walking towards her love.

[Osipi]

That thought crossed my mind too, Jantie. We only know what the tabloids are presenting for the most part and there may be a whole lot of things going on behind the scenes with Mr. Markle. I( also find it kind of odd that its been stated he's taking Valium for chest pains. I can see taking a tranquilizer for anxiety attacks but heart problems? Then again, I'm no doctor.

I just realize that in the statement released by KP, it pertained only to Meghan's dad and not to the rest of the extended family. I have no respect whatsoever for the Markle halfsies.

[wyevale]

Since this wedding is supposed to be all about breaking the rules, why not speedily organise a hologram of her dad to walk her up the aisle?

[Curryong]

Have the bride and/or groom stated that this wedding was about 'breaking all the rules' or any member of the BRF ? Has any poster here on TRF said such a thing?

Doria will be a great substitute for Tom when she walks with her daughter down the aisle on the 19th.

[Somebody]

Originally Posted by Countessmeout

I haven't seen my father in three years, or my mother for that matter. Being in the same room doesn't denote closeness. Nor does being in the same room. As adults, our life/work/school and so on often cause physical distance. Meghan has made a point of saying her and Harry spoke to her father. And she has said they are close. Just because he wasn't willing to fly to Toronto for IG and be in the public spotlight, doesn't mean they aren't close.

I live in a different continent than my family, so understand that you don't need to see your family weekly to be close. Not making it a priority to introduce your future husband is however a very clear sign that your father isn't that important to you. Actions speak louder than words. That includes telling the media instead of your daughter that you nu longer wish to attend her wedding and walk her down the aisle.