Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[O-H Anglophile]

Regular posters on this thread have been forthcoming and consistent with their reasonings as to why a royal engagement is nigh. Those who disagree, not so much! I would be very interested in knowing why some posters believe there is unlikely to be an engagement between Harry and Meghan. If you ‘just have a feeling’, please explain that feeling. This would make the discussion more interesting. Thanks.

I agree-I asked this yesterday. I would like to understand why those who don't see Meghan & Harry as a couple working together to a mutual goal of marriage feel that way. What do you see that we apparently don't to lead you to that conclusion? Why do you think Meghan gave up/is giving up all her jobs if not to willingly prepare for a totally new life?

 

[Skippy]

I would just like to say that one is not always able to explain why they feel a certain way. Some people have difficulty in translating their feelings into words.
Those who can are of course welcome to do so

 

[Denville]

Perhaps some of us feel that while Meg may be indeed planning towards a new life, that does not mean that the new life will work out. That she may sincerley wish to marry Harry but may find that such a different life isn't easy for her.

 

[jacqui24]

Perhaps some of us feel that while Meg may be indeed planning towards a new life, that does not mean that the new life will work out. That she may sincerley wish to marry Harry but may find that such a different life isn't easy for her.

I'm not sure what she'll find out between now and an engagement that she hasn't seen since this relationship was brought to light.

 

[AlowVera]

I'm not sure what she'll find out between now and an engagement that she hasn't seen since this relationship was brought to light.

The media has practically raked her mom and dad over the coals, they have disparaged her livelihood, they have disparaged her reputation, she has been called every name on her social media platforms, websites have created unfounded lies and rumors......if they have made it to this point they can survive anything.

 

[ladongas]

Perhaps some of us feel that while Meg may be indeed planning towards a new life, that does not mean that the new life will work out. That she may sincerley wish to marry Harry but may find that such a different life isn't easy for her.

Actually, several people have pointed this out. I’m interested in the meaning of the unexpressed ‘feeling’ some posters have mentioned. If I say, I have a feeling it’s going to rain this afternoon, my feeling is based on grey sky, cool moist air, and distant rumblings of thunder.

 

[Curryong]

It will be interesting to read why others have this 'off' feeling. I feel that it's been a shock. A shock that Meghan isn't English, that she certainly isn't 'glossy posse', she's an actress (people do question actors sincerity in their private lives,) there's the fact that she is older not years younger than Harry, that she is divorced after a very short marriage. Some of her relatives haven't exactly been silent, nor have the British tabloids been kind, especially the Fail. There has been a lot of murkiness attributed to her one way or another on Twitter etc. Maybe people who feel that way have picked up on that.

 

[jacqui24]

The media has practically raked her mom and dad over the coals, they have disparaged her livelihood, they have disparaged her reputation, she has been called every name on her social media platforms, websites have created unfounded lies and rumors......if they have made it to this point they can survive anything.

And headlines that basically insinuated she's in porn. Some of the old time royal commentators have said that royal gf is an impossible place to be. You can't hit back, but you don't exactly have the full on support of the royal family either. I think based on the way she's changed her life so far, she seems to have a very good idea of what royal life will entail.

 

[Denville]

Quite simply IMO there are a lot of issues that mean that Meghan might not find royal life easy to fit into. it isn't easy and being a girlfriend is a lot different to beign a full time Princess as she will be.
Being a girlfriend yes she will get abuse, prying intot her life and criticism over ridiculous things as Kate has done...but being a royal wife is going to be even harder.
She's an actress and actresses like to act, so she may find giving up her work hard to do even if she thinks it will be "do-able". Life is still formal in the RF even if not as much as it was say 20 or 30 years ago. She's American, so she has the cultural adjustment to make... and she has a divorce in her past.

 

[Somebody]

I don't think royal life is easy to fit into for anyone. So yes, of course, Meghan will have to adjust and find her way which in some ways might be easier and in other ways might be harder than expected.

Our former queen famously preferred foreign brides to 'local' brides, especially for the more senior royals as she considered it much harder and more problematic for someone from the country itself to move from being a 'normal citizen' (with lots of 'citizens' knowing you as such) to becoming part of the royal family of your own country. A bride from abroad would not have that same problem as she will have to adjust to a new country as part of the royal family and in that way learn the 'new customs' from within...

 

[AlowVera]

Quite simply IMO there are a lot of issues that mean that Meghan might not find royal life easy to fit into. it isn't easy and being a girlfriend is a lot different to beign a full time Princess as she will be.
Being a girlfriend yes she will get abuse, prying intot her life and criticism over ridiculous things as Kate has done...but being a royal wife is going to be even harder.
She's an actress and actresses like to act, so she may find giving up her work hard to do even if she thinks it will be "do-able". Life is still formal in the RF even if not as much as it was say 20 or 30 years ago. She's American, so she has the cultural adjustment to make... and she has a divorce in her past.

Divorce will make her RIGHT at home in the Firm.

 

[Denville]

I meant it in terms that it might signify that if she find herself not happy in the UK or the RF, she might fairly quickly decide to leave.

 

[jacqui24]

Quite simply IMO there are a lot of issues that mean that Meghan might not find royal life easy to fit into. it isn't easy and being a girlfriend is a lot different to beign a full time Princess as she will be.
Being a girlfriend yes she will get abuse, prying intot her life and criticism over ridiculous things as Kate has done...but being a royal wife is going to be even harder.
She's an actress and actresses like to act, so she may find giving up her work hard to do even if she thinks it will be "do-able". Life is still formal in the RF even if not as much as it was say 20 or 30 years ago. She's American, so she has the cultural adjustment to make... and she has a divorce in her past.

Just like to point out three out of four of the Queen's children are divorced. Her daughter in law is also a divorcee. So far, the second marriages have proven to be more successful than the first for her children. So I think that ship has long sailed.

I meant it in terms that it might signify that if she find herself not happy in the UK or the RF, she might fairly quickly decide to leave.

Once they have children, it won't matter if she finds herself not happy with UK or RF, she won't be leaving easily. Even if she leaves the RF, she won't leave UK because any child(ren) is certain to be raised in UK. Besides, she seems to be adapting just fine moving to a different country in the past.

 

[Denville]

Moving to Canada to pursue a career that you presumably always wanted, isn't IMO the same as moving to Europe to engage in a very different way of life. True if she has children they will have to be mostly raised in the UK, but if their marriage doesn't wrok out she might well give up on it before they have children.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

Did Meghan always want a career in acting? I have read, that she has been very interested in other career options as well, her passion hasn't always been acting. She doesn't seem to have one set mind, adapts easily to things and new environments. She already has friends in UK, seems to enjoy spending time here. I don't understand how moving to Canada for a job would be that much different than moving to UK for another kind of job.

Like others have said, she has already been trashed by the press, she has seen which friends and relatives have talked to the press, and it hasn't been pretty. I've read here, that it'll get worse, once they get engaged, and I'm trying to figure out how. What do people think the press will do or write? Because it all has been said already, and she's still there, seemingly unfazed, happy, and Harry is there backing her up.

 

[AlowVera]

If anything it seems to have strengthen their bond. PH knows how awful the press, he seems to be very happy these days, perhaps happy he finally has someone to heal deal with it all.

 

[jacqui24]

Moving to Canada to pursue a career that you presumably always wanted, isn't IMO the same as moving to Europe to engage in a very different way of life. True if she has children they will have to be mostly raised in the UK, but if their marriage doesn't wrok out she might well give up on it before they have children.

I'm not talking about her career, I'm talking about how well she has adapted to life in Canada. Not only is she working there, but her life seemed to have flourished there. She has friends that she doesn't work with. She's involved with different charitable organizations with causes that she cares about. Her life there goes so much beyond Suits. She moved there to take on a new job, just like she'll move to UK to take on a marriage and a new job. It's clearly a job that she wants as well as we've seen how much she's already worked with different charities even before Harry. In fact, she's talked about how this is the type of work that feeds her soul.

Ok, let's just say they get married and it doesn't work, so what? No marriage is guaranteed to work. Everyone that gets married is taking a risk at a potential divorce if you ask me. If you want to avoid that risk, the only way is not get married at all.

 

[Pranter]

I meant it in terms that it might signify that if she find herself not happy in the UK or the RF, she might fairly quickly decide to leave.

She was in a relationship with her ex husband for 10 years. I don't think there is any indication she's 'quick to leave'.


LaRae

 

[Osipi]

I had a thought on the divorce angle. Correct me if I have things wrong but from my caffeine deprived mind (just woke up from a nap), something hit home as far as the fact of Meghan already being divorced.

Did a bit of checking. She was with her husband as a couple for seven years before they married. It was around this time that she landed her role in Suits. She had her job in Toronto while her husband remained in California/Los Angeles because of his career. The long distance relationship did not work with these two people and they divorced. It happens. Sometimes long distance relationships just do not work out. Meghan most definitely, at that time, was not going to give her career up and neither was he.

Years on into the future, Meghan meets Harry. They make a long distance relationship work. From what I see, they both respect each other's work and commitments and each other. If Meghan is at a point in her life where she feels that its what she wants to make changes in her life, move to the UK and have marriage and family with Harry, it won't be because she'll have to give up her acting career to step on the world stage as a working senior royal with Harry or because it is what Harry wants but because it is her choice. She wouldn't be sacrificing her career for Harry. She will be making career changes because she wants to.

To me, with the platform the working senior royals have on a world stage to do work to benefit people is like dangling the Oscar or Emmy for best actress in front of Meghan. Doing the work the British royals do may be to Meghan like putting in front of her the chance to have it all and the apex of how she'd like her humanitarian and philanthropic works to be. Its like going from the reporting pool at a newspaper to being the editor in chief. Throw in the fact that what brings this about is meeting a man and falling in love with him and being able to sustain a long distance relationship with each other and have the common goals of marriage and family. On Harry's side, he's met a woman that not only loves him, wants marriage and family also but may see the working life of a British royal as part of winning a grand trifecta.

Its just seems like a win/win situation all around. No doubts that there'll be adjustments to make, things that go bump in the night and the ups and downs that every married couple face and perhaps even more so considering the formality of the BRF, moving to a different country and having to deal with the media every time one steps out into public, but the important thing is that this couple will face these hurdles together.

Some things unmistakably seem to be right and happened at just the right time.

 

[Madame Verseau]

I think people are cynical because everyone bought into the Charles and Diana fairytale and that came crashing down (with some assist from Camilla). Andrew and Fergie ended through scandalous proportions. Will and Kate took a dent when Will's boys' weekend of dad dancing and random females made the rounds. The point is, one should not assume Harry and Meghan are doomed because of the past of different individuals or what one prescribes as as the right moves for a long marriage. This is new territory. These are different people who may have taken everything into consideration before making any decisions about their lives. I wish them both the best.

 

[Rudolph]

A family tree for people interested in ancestry

DailyMailTV reveals Meghan Markle's family roots | Daily Mail Online

 

[jacqui24]

A family tree for people interested in ancestry

DailyMailTV reveals Meghan Markle's family roots | Daily Mail Online

Did they seriously spend the time to trace her roots to great great great great grandparents? Well, I guess if anyone ever wants to find their ancestry but don't have the resources. Just date a royal.

 

[Mbruno]

Agreed. No offense to the UK, but why would an American actress move to the UK to boost her career? It's usually people from the UK moving to the US to make it big. The pinnacle of the entertainment industry is LA. The only reason she's in Toronto is because her US show shoots there. She's not trying to "make it" in the UK. She's already made it in the US. Most actors are happy to book a steady job on a popular show. She's done that. A show that's lasted 7 seasons is nothing to sneeze at. That's syndication money. And Suits is exactly the type of show that does well in syndication.

Take Amber Riley for example. After she was done with Glee, her career was actually going nowhere in the US. Then she moved to the UK to play Effie in the London stage adaptation of Dreamgirls, won a Laurence Olivier award (British equivalent to a Tony), and made a huge comeback.

The UK actually has large and well developed theatre , music and film industries. There are plenty of opportunities there if Meghan wants to stay in the business. The point is that a move to the UK in her case would most likely mean an engagement and a wedding in the near future, after which she would have to quit acting. Looking for acting jobs in the UK would be rather pointless then, wouldn't it ?

 

[FashionMaven]

A family tree for people interested in ancestry

DailyMailTV reveals Meghan Markle's family roots | Daily Mail Online

Thanks - that was really interesting.

I did find it sad that Doria's line ended where it did - we all know why, but it's still sad when I see so many of my African American sisters and brothers' lines stop at the slave trade because you can't trace before that in most cases.

 

[Alliec76]

Did they seriously spend the time to trace her roots to great great great great grandparents? Well, I guess if anyone ever wants to find their ancestry but don't have the resources. Just date a royal.

I think my favorite is the line "Meghan's Extraordinary Roots". What's extraordinary about it? Her background is similar to just about any black American's background. Most of us have white ancestors somewhere in our family. Most of us have slaves in our background, with a sprinkling of free folks mixed in. Actually what Meghan has is a very normal and common African-American background. She's about as American as you can get (which I think is great!) But hey, I guess they need something to talk about until an engagement announcement.

 

[Osipi]

Family trees, ancestry and where one comes from has always played a big part in "getting to know" a person that is being catapulted into the public eye with an impeding engagement announcement being expected on the horizon. Especially with a royal family involved that can trace their lineages back for centuries.

As we've seen here, there are people that closely identify with Meghan's roots as it tells a story that isn't totally unique to Meghan herself, but a story that spans history. It doesn't really have any kind of impact on Meghan, herself, as Harry didn't fall in love with a tree but the soul of a person. The tree is part and parcel though of who Meghan is. I find it interesting also.

 

[Alliec76]

I get that because I'm one of those who identify with Meghan's background. I guess giving the DM's past foray into Meghan's background (Straight Outta Compton), I'm wary of them doing any reporting on it. I'm not here for anyone trying to "other" her or make her seem "exotic". Meghan's story, is basically the American story and one I take great pride in. I guess I just don't trust the British press to get it right, considering how they've approached it in the past.

 

[Osipi]

I think its a good thing to be wary. Especially of the Daily Fail. They're not known for fair and balanced reporting and do have a habit of twisting things in such ways as to make a mountain out of a molehill so to speak. It was because of publications such as the Fail and their actions that propelled Harry into action making the official statement that he did around a year ago.

We do tend to be more fair and balanced here and exhibiting pride in having a background so similar to Meghan's has to be a total joy and we all share that with you. Its a background to be proud of. Its a background that Meghan also is proud of and doesn't hide under a bushel but lets it shine through. We may see the American story twisted and turned into meanings that are totally fabricated as time passes but to be honest, we know better.

 

[Missjersey]

Unfortunately, the press is just getting started with the feeding frenzy of trash and comparisons-it’s inevitable, it’s what they do. The Prince and his woman are handling this with a lot class considering the media circus all around.

 

[cepe]

I get that because I'm one of those who identify with Meghan's background. I guess giving the DM's past foray into Meghan's background (Straight Outta Compton), I'm wary of them doing any reporting on it. I'm not here for anyone trying to "other" her or make her seem "exotic". Meghan's story, is basically the American story and one I take great pride in. I guess I just don't trust the British press to get it right, considering how they've approached it in the past.

Please do not believe that the DM reflects the entire British press because it doesnt. Most bloggers and posters tend to use it because they like the pictures (then say they ignore the text).

The most reliable papers sadly are subscription based. I can recommend using British Television news outlets esp ITV. They have a new royal reporter who is balanced and fair (does need convincing which is good). Try @chrisshipitv on twitter.

Other news outlets being Sky and BBC

( sorry for going off topic)

I know Im late but welcome to RF