Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[Countessmeout]

Originally Posted by eden_candy

Where would they live if they moved in together? I don't think it would go over well if she moved into KP. If he moved in with her it would have to be a place more secure than Fort Knox; assuming it's in London. W&K moved in together but it was near an Army base and easily secured. I don't think H&M will get that in London. I think it's more likely they'll announce an engagement then she can move into KP.

KP isn't out. She stays there already when there. Sophie IIRC lived with Edward at Bagshot and Buckingham before they married. Certainly Bagshot.

[miss whirley]

Originally Posted by Pranter

I think most all of the royals in the last 20 years have lived together discreetly before they married. Harry and Meghan are doing their version of living together when she's in the UK and he's in Toronto. She's not going to quit her job, move to another country and into KP without a ring. I don't think it would be asked of her either.


LaRae

Take out KP, and that's exactly what the former Autumn Kelly did. I don't think Peter was being selfish by letting her make those sacrifices to see if they could have a future, to me it was pragmatic.

[Osipi]

Personally, I don't believe Harry would even have it cross his mind to ask these things of Meghan.

I do think that when she does move to the UK, she will be doing it with a ring on her finger and plans for a wedding in the works and that won't happen until after her commitments in Canada are finished. During that time, she'll reside at KP with Harry but keep the tradition of the night before the wedding being spent somewhere else with her family like Kate did with her family at a hotel.

[Abbigail]

Originally Posted by Osipi

Personally, I don't believe Harry would even have it cross his mind to ask these things of Meghan.

I do think that when she does move to the UK, she will be doing it with a ring on her finger and plans for a wedding in the works and that won't happen until after her commitments in Canada are finished. During that time, she'll reside at KP with Harry but keep the tradition of the night before the wedding being spent somewhere else with her family like Kate did with her family at a hotel.

I totally agree.

Based on some of what we know so far (Harry's past comments about relationships, releasing the November statement, Meghan doing the VF interview) I get the sense that Harry is very considerate of everything his potential wife would have to give up and would want to mitigate that burden as much as possible. So I absolutely don't see him expecting or asking Meghan to make such huge commitments without assurance that their relationship was leading to marriage.

[HRHHermione]

Originally Posted by miss whirley

Take out KP, and that's exactly what the former Autumn Kelly did. I don't think Peter was being selfish by letting her make those sacrifices to see if they could have a future, to me it was pragmatic.

Peter was in a wildly different situation than Harry is and the comparison doesn't work. He lives his life as a mostly private citizen, only getting photographed really at official family events and his sister's horse shows. He wasn't asking Autumn to become a global celebrity and give up most of her privacy for the rest of her life.

[miss whirley]

Originally Posted by HRHHermione

Peter was in a wildly different situation than Harry is and the comparison doesn't work. He lives his life as a mostly private citizen, only getting photographed really at official family events and his sister's horse shows. He wasn't asking Autumn to become a global celebrity and give up most of her privacy for the rest of her life.

Indeed. The stakes were lower for Peter and Autumn, so they had less of a reason to be cautious. Yet, they took the pragmatic approach. I gave them props.

[HRHHermione]

Originally Posted by miss whirley

Indeed. The stakes were lower for Peter and Autumn, so they had less of a reason to be cautious. Yet, they took the pragmatic approach. I gave them props.

I actually think they had more freedom to live together and experiment than Harry and Meghan will be given. I think others are right and that Meghan likely won't leave her acting career and move to the UK without knowing they will be married in relatively short order. I don't think that would be Harry and Meghan not taking a pragmatic approach- I would think that it would be them dealing with the realities of his public life.

[Countessmeout]

Whether you are dating a prince or a garbage man, the move would be hard. Moving to a new country, away from your family, and establishing a new life is a huge change for everyone.

Autumn had it some what easier, not because of who Peter was or wasn't. But because she didn't simply make the move for Peter. She had a job offer with a tech company in England before they even met. The move to England was not simply for a man, that was just a perk. Meghan on the other hand if she comes to the UK it will be for Harry alone. She wont be working or long in the UK, and his life will be pretty much hers. She needs to be prepared for that.

[jacqui24]

Oh for goodness' sake, can we stop beating this dead horse about them having to live together in order for a marriage to work. It's not backed by statistics. Studies have shown that living together doesn't mean the marriage will have a better chance. Age/maturity and stable finances have a much bigger impact. The way this argument has been pushed so hard, it almost make think it's just an attempt to push off the inevitable.

Whether or not they live together first, I'll leave up to them as they seem to be sensible adults who knows themselves and what they want at their age.

Originally Posted by Countessmeout

Whether you are dating a prince or a garbage man, the move would be hard. Moving to a new country, away from your family, and establishing a new life is a huge change for everyone.

Autumn had it some what easier, not because of who Peter was or wasn't. But because she didn't simply make the move for Peter. She had a job offer with a tech company in England before they even met. The move to England was not simply for a man, that was just a perk. Meghan on the other hand if she comes to the UK it will be for Harry alone. She wont be working or long in the UK, and his life will be pretty much hers. She needs to be prepared for that.

I'm in no way one of those that tries to make the argument that it's better for them to live together. However, if they need time to smooth out everything with the transition before a formal engagement, I'm sure Meghan will find something to do. Whether it be taking some classes on topics she is interested in or find another pet project to sink her teeth into. She's not the type to sit around.

And just to be cleared, I don't know if the couple is engaged. However, I do think with everything we've seen, they have a future planned together. Do guys really propose without having talked about marriage and pretty knowing both people feel like this is it first? I feel like those around me that have gotten engaged/married in the last few years happened when the guy already knew what the answer would be.

[Countessmeout]

I am not saying she wouldn't find a new project or activity. Simply saying that its an adjustment to move to a new place and to a new life. If you have nothing planned and waiting. One thing if you take a job transfer. Perhaps she can arrange something with her charity ahead of time. But as much as she loves visiting London, establishing a life there is a change.

Nor am I saying they have to live together. I actually am on the boat with saying you don't. If you think its a horse beaten dead, feel free to refrain from the talk. Some of us have chosen to avoid it so far.

[miss whirley]

Originally Posted by HRHHermione

I actually think they had more freedom to live together and experiment than Harry and Meghan will be given. I think others are right and that Meghan likely won't leave her acting career and move to the UK without knowing they will be married in relatively short order. I don't think that would be Harry and Meghan not taking a pragmatic approach- I would think that it would be them dealing with the realities of his public life.

Perhaps. Some posters sure seem adamant about it. To put it mildly. I kind of fear for Harry and Meghan, if they've already agreed that she will move to the UK as a girlfriend at the end of the year. I wonder if these same posters would have a change of heart and applaud the couple for taking their time or If they will become angry at the couple for not giving them the gratification they expected.

[Abbigail]

What are the odds that Meghan would quit her job, give up all other Toronto-based gigs and commitments just to move to the UK to continue being Harry's girlfriend? I would say so slim that no one should legitimately worry about being angry or disappointed.

In any case, suggesting that this is about gratification and not what is likely or makes sense doesn't add up. That argument would fly if posters weren't actually giving valid reasons as to why Meghan wouldn't/shouldn't give up everything without any guarantees but that's not the case.

[Alisa]

Well it is quite simple:the couple themselves have made it clear that they both want to settle down and have a family. They have both expressed that that is a goal and a priority therefore I don't see them living together for sometime before marriage. They simply (Meghan especially ) do not have that kind of time to waste.

[MARG]

Originally Posted by Pranter

Yes it'll have to happen and of course they know it....but you can tell they are for sure going to do things their way and not be pushed into it.

LaRae

I would have to agree on that, in fact I believe that was definitely part of the unspoken narrative of the VF interview. When you think about it it's a no brainer that Harry, in particular, would like to control the narrative as best as can be managed.

I think they are both aware that when/if their engagement is announced the monster media will be let loose, the last thread of control gone. Attempting to control anything other than the official announcement of said engagement will be an exercise in total futility.

Both Harry and William spoke of personal matters on their own terms in interviews earlier this year but in the run up to his wedding William was usually as stiff as a board when someone shoved a Mic in his face. I should think both of them well remember the tale of how their father got caught flat footed and botched it. Harry and Meghan launched a preemptive strike!

Actually, you have to give them credit for that interview. Megan waxed lyrical about being "in love" and asking the rhetorical question "doesn't everyone love a love story?" Well that put the 'L' word out there in their faces and she had no problem saying she was in love so, come the engagement, most media would take that interview as a "Approved by BP and CH" fact.

Meanwhile, the ridiculously romantic holidays and tripping back and forwards between the UK and Canada that we all seem to find out about "later", not to mention the occasional photos of Harry and Meghan holding hands, having a little kiss and cuddle and other such things, really mean that the guts of the "we met and fell in love" will be a well known story without words. In short, mostly old news.

[Pranter]

Originally Posted by miss whirley

Take out KP, and that's exactly what the former Autumn Kelly did. I don't think Peter was being selfish by letting her make those sacrifices to see if they could have a future, to me it was pragmatic.

Peter has a whole different situation.


LaRae

Originally Posted by MARG

I would have to agree on that, in fact I believe that was definitely part of the unspoken narrative of the VF interview. When you think about it it's a no brainer that Harry, in particular, would like to control the narrative as best as can be managed.

I think they are both aware that when/if their engagement is announced the monster media will be let loose, the last thread of control gone. Attempting to control anything other than the official announcement of said engagement will be an exercise in total futility.

Both Harry and William spoke of personal matters on their own terms in interviews earlier this year but in the run up to his wedding William was usually as stiff as a board when someone shoved a Mic in his face. I should think both of them well remember the tale of how their father got caught flat footed and botched it. Harry and Meghan launched a preemptive strike!

Actually, you have to give them credit for that interview. Megan waxed lyrical about being "in love" and asking the rhetorical question "doesn't everyone love a love story?" Well that put the 'L' word out there in their faces and she had no problem saying she was in love so, come the engagement, most media would take that interview as a "Approved by BP and CH" fact.

Meanwhile, the ridiculously romantic holidays and tripping back and forwards between the UK and Canada that we all seem to find out about "later", not to mention the occasional photos of Harry and Meghan holding hands, having a little kiss and cuddle and other such things, really mean that the guts of the "we met and fell in love" will be a well known story without words. In short, mostly old news.

Yes they are following the expected course of a couple in their situation....everyone is adjusting to what is to come. I think the major point of the VF article was to put everyone on notice.


LaRae

[Cocoasneeze]

I'm one of those, who thinks, that Harry wouldn't even suggest, that Meghan quits her job, leaves her own turf behind, and moves to UK just to be a gf, and live together. It's a HUGE step for her, and she'd be taking a big life changing leap of faith, and his sacrifice would be emptying a bit of closet space for her. She'd change her life around for him, IMHO he should meet her half way, and put his trust and faith in her and them, if he sees a future for them, and wants a future with her.

If they however don't get engaged (a big, doubtful if), I won't be disappointed, as an earlier poster suggested. It's not my life, and even though I think both Meghan and Harry are great, my feelings and happiness doesn't depend on them.

[HRHHermione]

Originally Posted by Cocoasneeze

I'm one of those, who thinks, that Harry wouldn't even suggest, that Meghan quits her job, leaves her own turf behind, and moves to UK just to be a gf, and live together. It's a HUGE step for her, and she'd be taking a big life changing leap of faith, and his sacrifice would be emptying a bit of closet space for her. She'd change her life around for him, IMHO he should meet her half way, and put his trust and faith in her and them, if he sees a future for them, and wants a future with her.

If they however don't get engaged (a big, doubtful if), I won't be disappointed, as an earlier poster suggested. It's not my life, and even though I think both Meghan and Harry are great, my feelings and happiness doesn't depend on them.

That's an excellent summary of how I feel too, particularly the last part :)

A wedding would be fun to watch! I would enjoy talking about it. That's about as far as my emotional involvement in this thing goes.

[O-H Anglophile]

Originally Posted by miss whirley

Indeed. The stakes were lower for Peter and Autumn, so they had less of a reason to be cautious. Yet, they took the pragmatic approach. I gave them props.

Well, Harry and Meghan have both the financial means and professional flexibility to spend a lot of time and money traveling to spend time with each other. I doubt Peter had the ability to visit Canada as often as Harry has been able to and I'm 99% sure Autumn could not have visited Peter in the UK like Meghan has visited Harry. Very different situation. And as someone pointed out-Autumn had a job to go to--so even if it hadn't worked out with Peter, she was young and spending some time living in a different country would be fun.

[Dee Anna]

Originally Posted by HRHHermione

I actually think they [Peter and Autumn] had more freedom to live together and experiment than Harry and Meghan will be given.

I know it's London, so a lot closer to home in every sense, but I really can't see Harry and Meghan officially living together either engaged or otherwise as being an issue. Kate moved in with William well in advance of their engagement announcement.

Originally Posted by Osipi

Personally, I don't believe Harry would even have it cross his mind to ask these things of Meghan.

I do think that when she does move to the UK, she will be doing it with a ring on her finger and plans for a wedding in the works and that won't happen until after her commitments in Canada are finished. During that time, she'll reside at KP with Harry but keep the tradition of the night before the wedding being spent somewhere else with her family like Kate did with her family at a hotel.

Absolutely.

Quote from Harry about five years ago ".....I'm not so much searching for someone to fulfil the role but obviously, you know finding someone that would be willing to take it on....."

That Harry is very aware of what he is asking of Meghan is obvious.

[Skippyboo]

Kate and William lived together in private houses in Scotland and Wales. She didn't move into Clarence House with William before they were married.