Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[miss whirley]

I actually think they had more freedom to live together and experiment than Harry and Meghan will be given. I think others are right and that Meghan likely won't leave her acting career and move to the UK without knowing they will be married in relatively short order. I don't think that would be Harry and Meghan not taking a pragmatic approach- I would think that it would be them dealing with the realities of his public life.

Perhaps. Some posters sure seem adamant about it. To put it mildly. I kind of fear for Harry and Meghan, if they've already agreed that she will move to the UK as a girlfriend at the end of the year. I wonder if these same posters would have a change of heart and applaud the couple for taking their time or If they will become angry at the couple for not giving them the gratification they expected.

 

[Abbigail]

What are the odds that Meghan would quit her job, give up all other Toronto-based gigs and commitments just to move to the UK to continue being Harry's girlfriend? I would say so slim that no one should legitimately worry about being angry or disappointed.

In any case, suggesting that this is about gratification and not what is likely or makes sense doesn't add up. That argument would fly if posters weren't actually giving valid reasons as to why Meghan wouldn't/shouldn't give up everything without any guarantees but that's not the case.

 

[Alisa]

Well it is quite simple:the couple themselves have made it clear that they both want to settle down and have a family. They have both expressed that that is a goal and a priority therefore I don't see them living together for sometime before marriage. They simply (Meghan especially ) do not have that kind of time to waste.

 

[MARG]

Yes it'll have to happen and of course they know it....but you can tell they are for sure going to do things their way and not be pushed into it.

LaRae

I would have to agree on that, in fact I believe that was definitely part of the unspoken narrative of the VF interview. When you think about it it's a no brainer that Harry, in particular, would like to control the narrative as best as can be managed.

I think they are both aware that when/if their engagement is announced the monster media will be let loose, the last thread of control gone. Attempting to control anything other than the official announcement of said engagement will be an exercise in total futility.

Both Harry and William spoke of personal matters on their own terms in interviews earlier this year but in the run up to his wedding William was usually as stiff as a board when someone shoved a Mic in his face. I should think both of them well remember the tale of how their father got caught flat footed and botched it. Harry and Meghan launched a preemptive strike!

Actually, you have to give them credit for that interview. Megan waxed lyrical about being "in love" and asking the rhetorical question "doesn't everyone love a love story?" Well that put the 'L' word out there in their faces and she had no problem saying she was in love so, come the engagement, most media would take that interview as a "Approved by BP and CH" fact.

Meanwhile, the ridiculously romantic holidays and tripping back and forwards between the UK and Canada that we all seem to find out about "later", not to mention the occasional photos of Harry and Meghan holding hands, having a little kiss and cuddle and other such things, really mean that the guts of the "we met and fell in love" will be a well known story without words. In short, mostly old news.

 

[Pranter]

Take out KP, and that's exactly what the former Autumn Kelly did. I don't think Peter was being selfish by letting her make those sacrifices to see if they could have a future, to me it was pragmatic.

Peter has a whole different situation.


LaRae

I would have to agree on that, in fact I believe that was definitely part of the unspoken narrative of the VF interview. When you think about it it's a no brainer that Harry, in particular, would like to control the narrative as best as can be managed.

I think they are both aware that when/if their engagement is announced the monster media will be let loose, the last thread of control gone. Attempting to control anything other than the official announcement of said engagement will be an exercise in total futility.

Both Harry and William spoke of personal matters on their own terms in interviews earlier this year but in the run up to his wedding William was usually as stiff as a board when someone shoved a Mic in his face. I should think both of them well remember the tale of how their father got caught flat footed and botched it. Harry and Meghan launched a preemptive strike!

Actually, you have to give them credit for that interview. Megan waxed lyrical about being "in love" and asking the rhetorical question "doesn't everyone love a love story?" Well that put the 'L' word out there in their faces and she had no problem saying she was in love so, come the engagement, most media would take that interview as a "Approved by BP and CH" fact.

Meanwhile, the ridiculously romantic holidays and tripping back and forwards between the UK and Canada that we all seem to find out about "later", not to mention the occasional photos of Harry and Meghan holding hands, having a little kiss and cuddle and other such things, really mean that the guts of the "we met and fell in love" will be a well known story without words. In short, mostly old news.

Yes they are following the expected course of a couple in their situation....everyone is adjusting to what is to come. I think the major point of the VF article was to put everyone on notice.


LaRae

 

[Cocoasneeze]

I'm one of those, who thinks, that Harry wouldn't even suggest, that Meghan quits her job, leaves her own turf behind, and moves to UK just to be a gf, and live together. It's a HUGE step for her, and she'd be taking a big life changing leap of faith, and his sacrifice would be emptying a bit of closet space for her. She'd change her life around for him, IMHO he should meet her half way, and put his trust and faith in her and them, if he sees a future for them, and wants a future with her.

If they however don't get engaged (a big, doubtful if), I won't be disappointed, as an earlier poster suggested. It's not my life, and even though I think both Meghan and Harry are great, my feelings and happiness doesn't depend on them.

 

[HRHHermione]

I'm one of those, who thinks, that Harry wouldn't even suggest, that Meghan quits her job, leaves her own turf behind, and moves to UK just to be a gf, and live together. It's a HUGE step for her, and she'd be taking a big life changing leap of faith, and his sacrifice would be emptying a bit of closet space for her. She'd change her life around for him, IMHO he should meet her half way, and put his trust and faith in her and them, if he sees a future for them, and wants a future with her.

If they however don't get engaged (a big, doubtful if), I won't be disappointed, as an earlier poster suggested. It's not my life, and even though I think both Meghan and Harry are great, my feelings and happiness doesn't depend on them.

That's an excellent summary of how I feel too, particularly the last part

A wedding would be fun to watch! I would enjoy talking about it. That's about as far as my emotional involvement in this thing goes.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Indeed. The stakes were lower for Peter and Autumn, so they had less of a reason to be cautious. Yet, they took the pragmatic approach. I gave them props.

Well, Harry and Meghan have both the financial means and professional flexibility to spend a lot of time and money traveling to spend time with each other. I doubt Peter had the ability to visit Canada as often as Harry has been able to and I'm 99% sure Autumn could not have visited Peter in the UK like Meghan has visited Harry. Very different situation. And as someone pointed out-Autumn had a job to go to--so even if it hadn't worked out with Peter, she was young and spending some time living in a different country would be fun.

 

[Dee Anna]

I actually think they [Peter and Autumn] had more freedom to live together and experiment than Harry and Meghan will be given.

I know it's London, so a lot closer to home in every sense, but I really can't see Harry and Meghan officially living together either engaged or otherwise as being an issue. Kate moved in with William well in advance of their engagement announcement.

Personally, I don't believe Harry would even have it cross his mind to ask these things of Meghan.

I do think that when she does move to the UK, she will be doing it with a ring on her finger and plans for a wedding in the works and that won't happen until after her commitments in Canada are finished. During that time, she'll reside at KP with Harry but keep the tradition of the night before the wedding being spent somewhere else with her family like Kate did with her family at a hotel.

Absolutely.

Quote from Harry about five years ago ".....I'm not so much searching for someone to fulfil the role but obviously, you know finding someone that would be willing to take it on....."

That Harry is very aware of what he is asking of Meghan is obvious.

 

[Skippyboo]

Kate and William lived together in private houses in Scotland and Wales. She didn't move into Clarence House with William before they were married.

 

[Pranter]

I know it's London, so a lot closer to home in every sense, but I really can't see Harry and Meghan officially living together either engaged or otherwise as being an issue. Kate moved in with William well in advance of their engagement announcement.

But only because they knew they were going to get married ...as they said in the interview after the engagement...they had talked about it and knew that was the plan..they were going to get married, Kate just didn't know exactly when.


LaRae

 

[Dman]

Kate and William lived together in private houses in Scotland and Wales. She didn't move into Clarence House with William before they were married.

That's because Harry lived there too. Although Catherine stayed at CH from time to time.

 

[Countessmeout]

Kate and William lived together in private houses in Scotland and Wales. She didn't move into Clarence House with William before they were married.

For two obvious reasons

1 William was not living in Clarence house at the time. He was living in Wales working as a pilot. She lived with him where he was living.

2. William didn't have his own private apartment. He was staying with his brother when in London, in his father's home.

Kate did stay with him at times though.

Harry's only home base is London. And he doesn't share his cottage with any family members. So he has a lot more freedom.

As we have seen with Edward and Sophie its not against rules. She lived with him at Bagshot and Buckingham palace before engagement.

 

[soapstar]

I've deleted a number of posts. This thread isn't for rehashing William and Kate's dating years, or discussing their marriage. It's also not about comparing Kate and Meghan, or comparing their relationships. Let's stick to the topic. Harry and Meghan.

Also please remember this rule when commenting about royals:

• Insulting comments about other posters and royals are not permitted. Criticism is acceptable; insults and flames are not.

 

[Dee Anna]

But only because they knew they were going to get married ...as they said in the interview after the engagement...they had talked about it and knew that was the plan..they were going to get married, Kate just didn't know exactly when.


LaRae

I think it will be just the same with Harry and Meghan, although Meghan may have a little more idea than Kate did!

And of course, it's true, Meghan is giving up a lot more, current career homeland etc., Kate didn't really have to give up anything, but take on, just as Meghan will have to.

.....A relationship is a two way street. A good relationship is when a couple embrace and acknowledge the individuality of the other and make no demands on each other that are self serving. I believe Harry and Meghan have this.

In a nutshell! Which is why it will work regardless of the critics out there.

 

[Pranter]

I think it will be just the same with Harry and Meghan, although Meghan may have a little more idea than Kate did!

And of course, it's true, Meghan is giving up a lot more, current career homeland etc., Kate didn't really have to give up anything, but take on, just as Meghan will have to.

Okay...but really wasn't talking about who was giving up what..it was about them living together.


LaRae

 

[MaiaMia_53]

The royals are used to being criticized for everything under the sun. They understand that the public and tabloids are never satisfied no matter what.

Meghan too has some experience in the public eye, despite the fact her joining the royal firm will ratchet things up to a great degree that she hasn't been as familiar with. Still, I think Meghan has become well aware of the ins-and-outs of what royal life will entail. Like Meghan said in the VF interview, she is supported by Harry and by her close family and friends. She will also be protected by the royal apparatus. Meanwhile, she and Harry are not letting 'the noise' get to them. They are enjoying the time they have together all to themselves before a public engagement announcement ratchets up widespread public interest even further.

Whether you are dating a prince or a garbage man, the move would be hard. Moving to a new country, away from your family, and establishing a new life is a huge change for everyone...

Sure, but I think Meghan will adapt to such a move fairly easily. She has been visiting Harry and will know the ins-and-outs of KP and Nott Cott (until they move into larger quarters). In addition, Meghan has often visited London prior to meeting Harry, and she has a number of British friends and some American friends who live in London (beyond Harry's set of friends).

Another point to remember is that Meghan moved to another country in 2011, soon after marrying (Trevor Engelson) to begin filming Suits (a new endeavor for her that had to be daunting at first). She adapted and flourished with flying colors, making friends easily and settling into the rigors of filming a television series with professionalism and dedicated commitment. When the series became successful and her income increased and her lifestyle became more enriched, she began to seek a variety of ways to give back to others, and that's how her path eventually connected with Harry's.

 

[Alisa]

Another point to remember is that Meghan moved to another country in 2011, soon after marrying to begin filming Suits (a new endeavor for her that had to be daunting at first). She adapted and flourished with flying colors, making friends easily and settling into the rigors of filming a television series with professionalism and dedicated commitment. When the series became successful and her income increased and her lifestyle became more enriched, she began to seek a variety of ways to give back to others, and that's how her path eventually connected with Harry's.

This is a great point!

 

[Countessmeout]

True. The royals are used to being criticized for everything under the sun. They understand that the public and tabloids are never satisfied no matter what.

Meghan too has some experience in the public eye, despite the fact her joining the royal firm will ratchet things up to a great degree that she hasn't been as familiar with. Still, I think Meghan has become well aware of the ins-and-outs of what royal life will entail. Like Meghan said in the VF interview, she is supported by Harry and by her close family and friends. She will also be protected by the royal apparatus. Meanwhile, she and Harry are not letting 'the noise' get to them. They are enjoying the time they have together all to themselves before a public engagement announcement ratchets up widespread public interest even further.



Sure, but I think Meghan will adapt to such a move fairly easily. She has been visiting Harry and will know the ins-and-outs of KP and Nott Cott (until they move into larger quarters). In addition, Meghan has often visited London prior to meeting Harry, and she has a number of British friends and some American friends who live in London (beyond Harry's set of friends).

Another point to remember is that Meghan moved to another country in 2011, soon after marrying (Trevor Engelson) to begin filming Suits (a new endeavor for her that had to be daunting at first). She adapted and flourished with flying colors, making friends easily and settling into the rigors of filming a television series with professionalism and dedicated commitment. When the series became successful and her income increased and her lifestyle became more enriched, she began to seek a variety of ways to give back to others, and that's how her path eventually connected with Harry's.

Canada is not only a lot closer to home, but it is also a lot more in common.

Visiting a country, and moving there are two very vastly different things. Being in London for a week or two, living out of suitcases, being on holiday mode. That is not comparable at all to actually living in a country. If they aren't engaged, she will need to settle into new routines of hobbies, charity work, things to keep her busy. This is all an adjustment.

Anyone who has lived in a foreign country knows it is a huge shift in thinking, and living.

 

[Osipi]

Canada is not only a lot closer to home, but it is also a lot more in common.

Visiting a country, and moving there are two very vastly different things. Being in London for a week or two, living out of suitcases, being on holiday mode. That is not comparable at all to actually living in a country. If they aren't engaged, she will need to settle into new routines of hobbies, charity work, things to keep her busy. This is all an adjustment.

Anyone who has lived in a foreign country knows it is a huge shift in thinking, and living.

This is one area where I think Meghan does have a huge advantage. With years as a professional actress under her belt, she is, in my opinion, well prepared for the huge shift in thinking and presenting herself. With preparing for a role as a character, she not only learns the lines she needs but actually gets into "character mode" and when she's performing, she becomes that character. That is why TV, movie and stage characters seem to come to life for us.

I think it would be relatively easy for Meghan to adapt to something totally new to her and relish the adventure. In a way, she *is* preparing to take on a new role and like learning a character part, there are all sorts of things she'll instinctively know how to do in adjusting to her new "role" from her experiences of becoming her character in Suits.

She'll adapt just fine and enjoy doing it, I think. As Shakespeare said, "All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players;

 

[NoShades]

True. The royals are used to being criticized for everything under the sun. They understand that the public and tabloids are never satisfied no matter what.

Meghan too has some experience in the public eye, despite the fact her joining the royal firm will ratchet things up to a great degree that she hasn't been as familiar with. Still, I think Meghan has become well aware of the ins-and-outs of what royal life will entail. Like Meghan said in the VF interview, she is supported by Harry and by her close family and friends. She will also be protected by the royal apparatus. Meanwhile, she and Harry are not letting 'the noise' get to them. They are enjoying the time they have together all to themselves before a public engagement announcement ratchets up widespread public interest even further.



Sure, but I think Meghan will adapt to such a move fairly easily. She has been visiting Harry and will know the ins-and-outs of KP and Nott Cott (until they move into larger quarters). In addition, Meghan has often visited London prior to meeting Harry, and she has a number of British friends and some American friends who live in London (beyond Harry's set of friends).

Another point to remember is that Meghan moved to another country in 2011, soon after marrying (Trevor Engelson) to begin filming Suits (a new endeavor for her that had to be daunting at first). She adapted and flourished with flying colors, making friends easily and settling into the rigors of filming a television series with professionalism and dedicated commitment. When the series became successful and her income increased and her lifestyle became more enriched, she began to seek a variety of ways to give back to others, and that's how her path eventually connected with Harry's.

Brilliantly put, thanks for posting this.

She won't be be the first to move to a different country and like you say, Meghan IS quite familiar with England. I have friends too that have moved elsewhere and others over here that have settled in perfectly fine. It's hardly rocket science is it and we've seen how well Meghan adapts. I accept that some do struggle with a move but we are all different.

The former Autumn Philips swapped countries to move here from Canada in order to start a new life with the Princess Royal's son, it hasn't killed her.

I think it's fortunate Meghan already has a media presence with her line of work and of course, enormous experience in dealing with the public in relation to her other pursuits re voluntary work with global organisations like World Vision and the UN. Meaning she has background knowledge of what she'll be facing and dealing with and the capability to cope.

Certainly the rigours & protocols of royal life are slightly different which I'm sure she's aware of and already learning the ropes. But, she will have the love, support, protection and guidance of her partner to guide her through this and that's really all that matters here. Plus, Rome wasn't built in a day.

She has also spoken at length of her experiences and challenges being a woman of colour / biracial in a society sadly still riddled with prejudice and bias. And incredibly she has shown what an impressively strong-minded woman she is and will continue to ignore the noise and hostility all around.

 

[Dee Anna]

Okay...but really wasn't talking about who was giving up what..it was about them living together.


LaRae

Which I expect given Harry's royal role will for the most part be in London or at least the UK. But to make that move will involve sarcrafices on Meghan's part, so am expecting it will be pretty official when the time comes.

 

[Jacknch]

Please note that posts containing links to an article on Chanel cosmetics (and subsequent replies) and to media coverage about Ms Markle that is either old news or does not relate to Ms Markle's relationship with Prince Harry have been deleted. We cannot have a discussion about the relationship if the thread is being filled with unrelated topics.

 

[Pranter]

Which I expect given Harry's royal role will for the most part be in London or at least the UK. But to make that move will involve sarcrafices on Meghan's part, so am expecting it will be pretty official when the time comes.

Correct...she's not moving to the UK without the ring.


LaRae

 

[Dman]

I'm sure these two are enjoying their relationship behind closed doors, but I think it's going to be a relief for them to be able to appear relaxed in public together.

 

[Rhea6]

Yes once they are out in public together and the intense attention of the first appearance together fades away .... hopefully everything will calm down .

How long can 1 hide from the cameras anyway ?

 

[Pranter]

Yes once they are out in public together and the intense attention of the first appearance together fades away .... hopefully everything will calm down .

How long can 1 hide from the cameras anyway ?

They've been good at doing this for over a year now!


LaRae

 

[Rudolph]

Meghan's brother wants Harry to put a ring on his sister.

Meghan Markle's brother tells Prince Harry get on with it

 

[Pranter]

Ugh...her family need to zip it.


LaRae

 

[JessRulz]

A number of posts and responses discussing Meghan's family, in a tone we do not appreciate here at TRF, have been removed.

The mod team is getting quite frustrated that members are unable to follow the TRF rules and guidelines; going forward, members who are repeatedly breaching these guidelines specifically in this thread will find themselves suspended from the forums.