Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[jacqui24]

I'm sure there are plenty of people who get married and stay so without having lived together first. I am just speaking from my own experience and what my preference is/what I believe. I wouldn't want to get married without having lived together first.

And yes, I do agree that age and maturity also play a big role in the success of a marriage. Calendar age and emotional/mental age and the maturity that comes with it, for example.

Completely understand. My frustration is mostly with those that act like they are completely doomed to fail if they don't. I could careless about this either way. It's one of the things I consider individual choices that don't have a universal right or wrong answers.

 

[miss whirley]

Three random thoughts re: potential Harry/Meghan wedding...

1. If there is a Dukedom given, would they be Duke Henry & Duchess Rachel (given names)?

2. Totally want to see little Mia in the wedding party. She cracks me up, and every picture of her make me smile.

3. I bet their post-ceremony party would be epic.

1. Their names would not be included. They would be The Duke and Duchess of ____.

2. Since Meghan is American she might choose a bridal party of mostly adult women, with only one or two flower girls. If that's the case, Mia might not make the cut.

3. Meghan and Harry both seem like partying experts, so I'm sure their night celebration would be off the hook for their guests.

 

[NoShades]

Meghan doesn't strike me as the wild partying type or someone who overdoes things. Photos would have resurfaced by now, tabs would've made sure of it I'm certain. Not advisable to cast aspersions, particularly on here.

 

[miss whirley]

Meghan doesn't strike me as the wild partying type or someone who overdoes things. Photos would have resurfaced by now, tabs would've made sure of it I'm certain. Not advisable to cast aspersions, particularly on here.

True. I was going off the party at her first wedding. But Trevor could of been the one who organized everything. Who knows.

Of course there was also recent stories about the fact Meghan was part of a sorority that was infamous for partying. So the tabs have been on the case like you mentioned.

 

[Osipi]

1. Their names would not be included. They would be The Duke and Duchess of ____.

Very true. In fact, the only way that Meghan (or Rachel) would be used in her title actually would be as the divorced wife of Harry. Then it would be Rachel(Meghan), Duchess of ......

2. Since Meghan is American she might choose a bridal party of mostly adult women, with only one or two flower girls. If that's the case, Mia might not make the cut.

I seriously think though that if they go for the traditional British wedding, they will stick to how the British do it. It'll be part and parcel of Meghan adapting to her new adopted country.

3. Meghan and Harry both seem like partying experts, so I'm sure their night celebration would be off the hook for their guests.

What first comes to mind for me is the FOOD. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

Another thing that I think Harry and Meghan will do is follow the example of William and Kate and in lieu of gifts for the bridal couple, they'll ask that donations be made to charities close to their heart. Sentebale comes to mind as being at the top of the list. I love this idea.

As far as living together, I think each couple is unique and each couple has their own obstacles and hurdles to overcome to work out and know that they're meant to be together. For Harry and Meghan, it was the ability to keep and maintain a long distance relationship and to make the best of the times that they did have to be together. I think that would make them know and appreciate each other much more than had they lived side by side 24/7 for the past year. I am, however, an advocate of living together before taking those vows but I also know what works for one couple may not for another.

 

[miss whirley]

I seriously think though that if they go for the traditional British wedding, they will stick to how the British do it. It'll be part and parcel of Meghan adapting to her new adopted country.

I'm not so sure of this. Peter and Autumn (Canadian) had a British wedding at St. George's, with The Queen present, the bride wearing a tiara, etc. And still Autumn had a bridal party of mostly adult women. As the bride, Meghan would likely get full say on the bridal party. So I could see her going the Autumn route and going with what is common in North America.

 

[Osipi]

Not that it matters and, of course, the bridal party will be totally up to Meghan but knowing how fond Harry is of children and possibly Meghan feeling the same way, maybe it'll be a mix of adults and children. Then again, Meghan could go for just one Maid/Matron of Honor and Harry have his Best Man/Supporter. We'll just have to wait and see their preferences if and when it does happen.

Funny that the tone is that this is all a done deal and its going to happen. I think a wedding is 99.5% in the bag and going to happen but until there's an official announcement, I don't think we'd be wise to hold our breath.

 

[NoShades]

Tabs do engage in fiction it's not unheard of. Also not unusual to have accompanying pictures from legit sources, by the way. Being pictured Wheelbarrow racing at an outdoor Caribbean wedding is hardly considered partying in excess and can be classified as having some sport-themed fun.

Even her close friend at Uni, Larnelle, a gay guy has said that their weekends at school were usually spent attending church with his parents who were both pastors. They had fun doing basic stuff and yes Meghan is confident and outgoing for sure but that doesn't mean she is a partying expert.

 

[Osipi]

Good thinking NoShades. Although it may be true that both Harry and Meghan have had what we would deem "wild fun" (remember Vegas?), it doesn't necessarily mean that those antics would apply to that person today.

Kind of like both Harry and Meghan, at one point in their lives, had to go through toilet training. That most certainly isn't true today.

 

[miss whirley]

Not that it matters and, of course, the bridal party will be totally up to Meghan but knowing how fond Harry is of children and possibly Meghan feeling the same way, maybe it'll be a mix of adults and children. Then again, Meghan could go for just one Maid/Matron of Honor and Harry have his Best Man/Supporter. We'll just have to wait and see their preferences if and when it does happen.

Funny that the tone is that this is all a done deal and its going to happen. I think a wedding is 99.5% in the bag and going to happen but until there's an official announcement, I don't think we'd be wise to hold our breath.

Oh, we used the same tone when discussing Harry's past 'weddings'. I remember during the Chelsy years, the big wedding topic was if her father would be invited or if it would be a Maxima situation. The theoretical can be just as interesting as the actual.

As for the first part of your post. The size of their wedding party will likely be dependent on if they want to use carriages. If they want a large wedding party then they will surely use cars, they'd be criticized if they used more carriages than the 2nd in-line.

 

[AlowVera]

Meghan doesn't strike me as the wild partying type or someone who overdoes things. Photos would have resurfaced by now, tabs would've made sure of it I'm certain. Not advisable to cast aspersions, particularly on here.

Im sure like any young person she has been to her share of college parties just like Will and Kate did, but from following her for years on social media she is'nt really a club going person but she enjoys travel, being social and a good rose.

 

[Jacknch]

As a reminder, we have a separate thread to discuss possible styles and titles for Harry when he gets married: http://www.theroyalforums.com/forum...-harry-his-future-wife-and-children-6755.html
Posts relating to the subject have, where possible, been moved.

 

[Pranter]

Not that it matters and, of course, the bridal party will be totally up to Meghan but knowing how fond Harry is of children and possibly Meghan feeling the same way, maybe it'll be a mix of adults and children. Then again, Meghan could go for just one Maid/Matron of Honor and Harry have his Best Man/Supporter. We'll just have to wait and see their preferences if and when it does happen.

Funny that the tone is that this is all a done deal and its going to happen. I think a wedding is 99.5% in the bag and going to happen but until there's an official announcement, I don't think we'd be wise to hold our breath.

It would be something if George/Charlotte were in both their aunt's and their uncle's wedding parties....too cute!


LaRae

 

[Osipi]

I think its a very distinct possibility that it could happen. Heck, as the Cambridge kids grow up, they could make a profession out of being in their relative's bridal parties. Sometimes the best way to learn social graces is by experience.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Completely understand. My frustration is mostly with those that act like they are completely doomed to fail if they don't. I could careless about this either way. It's one of the things I consider individual choices that don't have a universal right or wrong answers.

This is my frustration as well. Certainly for some people living together before marriage is the way they do it. Sometimes it is for financial reasons, sometimes they aren't ready to be married.
I know it is not essential for people to live together beforehand to make a marriage work. I met my husband at work, we were work friends for awhile, then dated seriously for a little over a year, got engaged and then married 6 months later. We'd known each other a little over 2 years, we've been married for 30. But we had talked a lot about our values, family,etc.

 

[NoShades]

Im sure like any young person she has been to her share of college parties just like Will and Kate did, but from following her for years on social media she is'nt really a club going person but she enjoys travel, being social and a good rose.

I agree

 

[Pranter]

I think its a very distinct possibility that it could happen. Heck, as the Cambridge kids grow up, they could make a profession out of being in their relative's bridal parties. Sometimes the best way to learn social graces is by experience.

Yep learning on the job!


LaRae

 

[eden_candy]

Where would they live if they moved in together? I don't think it would go over well if she moved into KP. If he moved in with her it would have to be a place more secure than Fort Knox; assuming it's in London. W&K moved in together but it was near an Army base and easily secured. I don't think H&M will get that in London. I think it's more likely they'll announce an engagement then she can move into KP.

 

[Osipi]

Where would they live if they moved in together? I don't think it would go over well if she moved into KP. If he moved in with her it would have to be a place more secure than Fort Knox; assuming it's in London. W&K moved in together but it was near an Army base and easily secured. I don't think H&M will get that in London. I think it's more likely they'll announce an engagement then she can move into KP.

I think KP and Nottingham Cottage is perhaps the best place for the two of them. Its where she stays when she is in London with Harry. The security is already in place and the cottage where Harry now lives is freestanding on its own away from the KP main building so its just the two of them.

If something already works, why fix it?

 

[Pranter]

I think most all of the royals in the last 20 years have lived together discreetly before they married. Harry and Meghan are doing their version of living together when she's in the UK and he's in Toronto. She's not going to quit her job, move to another country and into KP without a ring. I don't think it would be asked of her either.


LaRae

 

[Countessmeout]

Where would they live if they moved in together? I don't think it would go over well if she moved into KP. If he moved in with her it would have to be a place more secure than Fort Knox; assuming it's in London. W&K moved in together but it was near an Army base and easily secured. I don't think H&M will get that in London. I think it's more likely they'll announce an engagement then she can move into KP.

KP isn't out. She stays there already when there. Sophie IIRC lived with Edward at Bagshot and Buckingham before they married. Certainly Bagshot.

 

[miss whirley]

I think most all of the royals in the last 20 years have lived together discreetly before they married. Harry and Meghan are doing their version of living together when she's in the UK and he's in Toronto. She's not going to quit her job, move to another country and into KP without a ring. I don't think it would be asked of her either.


LaRae

Take out KP, and that's exactly what the former Autumn Kelly did. I don't think Peter was being selfish by letting her make those sacrifices to see if they could have a future, to me it was pragmatic.

 

[Osipi]

Personally, I don't believe Harry would even have it cross his mind to ask these things of Meghan.

I do think that when she does move to the UK, she will be doing it with a ring on her finger and plans for a wedding in the works and that won't happen until after her commitments in Canada are finished. During that time, she'll reside at KP with Harry but keep the tradition of the night before the wedding being spent somewhere else with her family like Kate did with her family at a hotel.

 

[Abbigail]

Personally, I don't believe Harry would even have it cross his mind to ask these things of Meghan.

I do think that when she does move to the UK, she will be doing it with a ring on her finger and plans for a wedding in the works and that won't happen until after her commitments in Canada are finished. During that time, she'll reside at KP with Harry but keep the tradition of the night before the wedding being spent somewhere else with her family like Kate did with her family at a hotel.

I totally agree.

Based on some of what we know so far (Harry's past comments about relationships, releasing the November statement, Meghan doing the VF interview) I get the sense that Harry is very considerate of everything his potential wife would have to give up and would want to mitigate that burden as much as possible. So I absolutely don't see him expecting or asking Meghan to make such huge commitments without assurance that their relationship was leading to marriage.

 

[HRHHermione]

Take out KP, and that's exactly what the former Autumn Kelly did. I don't think Peter was being selfish by letting her make those sacrifices to see if they could have a future, to me it was pragmatic.

Peter was in a wildly different situation than Harry is and the comparison doesn't work. He lives his life as a mostly private citizen, only getting photographed really at official family events and his sister's horse shows. He wasn't asking Autumn to become a global celebrity and give up most of her privacy for the rest of her life.

 

[miss whirley]

Peter was in a wildly different situation than Harry is and the comparison doesn't work. He lives his life as a mostly private citizen, only getting photographed really at official family events and his sister's horse shows. He wasn't asking Autumn to become a global celebrity and give up most of her privacy for the rest of her life.

Indeed. The stakes were lower for Peter and Autumn, so they had less of a reason to be cautious. Yet, they took the pragmatic approach. I gave them props.

 

[HRHHermione]

Indeed. The stakes were lower for Peter and Autumn, so they had less of a reason to be cautious. Yet, they took the pragmatic approach. I gave them props.

I actually think they had more freedom to live together and experiment than Harry and Meghan will be given. I think others are right and that Meghan likely won't leave her acting career and move to the UK without knowing they will be married in relatively short order. I don't think that would be Harry and Meghan not taking a pragmatic approach- I would think that it would be them dealing with the realities of his public life.

 

[Countessmeout]

Whether you are dating a prince or a garbage man, the move would be hard. Moving to a new country, away from your family, and establishing a new life is a huge change for everyone.

Autumn had it some what easier, not because of who Peter was or wasn't. But because she didn't simply make the move for Peter. She had a job offer with a tech company in England before they even met. The move to England was not simply for a man, that was just a perk. Meghan on the other hand if she comes to the UK it will be for Harry alone. She wont be working or long in the UK, and his life will be pretty much hers. She needs to be prepared for that.

 

[jacqui24]

Oh for goodness' sake, can we stop beating this dead horse about them having to live together in order for a marriage to work. It's not backed by statistics. Studies have shown that living together doesn't mean the marriage will have a better chance. Age/maturity and stable finances have a much bigger impact. The way this argument has been pushed so hard, it almost make think it's just an attempt to push off the inevitable.

Whether or not they live together first, I'll leave up to them as they seem to be sensible adults who knows themselves and what they want at their age.

Whether you are dating a prince or a garbage man, the move would be hard. Moving to a new country, away from your family, and establishing a new life is a huge change for everyone.

Autumn had it some what easier, not because of who Peter was or wasn't. But because she didn't simply make the move for Peter. She had a job offer with a tech company in England before they even met. The move to England was not simply for a man, that was just a perk. Meghan on the other hand if she comes to the UK it will be for Harry alone. She wont be working or long in the UK, and his life will be pretty much hers. She needs to be prepared for that.

I'm in no way one of those that tries to make the argument that it's better for them to live together. However, if they need time to smooth out everything with the transition before a formal engagement, I'm sure Meghan will find something to do. Whether it be taking some classes on topics she is interested in or find another pet project to sink her teeth into. She's not the type to sit around.

And just to be cleared, I don't know if the couple is engaged. However, I do think with everything we've seen, they have a future planned together. Do guys really propose without having talked about marriage and pretty knowing both people feel like this is it first? I feel like those around me that have gotten engaged/married in the last few years happened when the guy already knew what the answer would be.

 

[Countessmeout]

I am not saying she wouldn't find a new project or activity. Simply saying that its an adjustment to move to a new place and to a new life. If you have nothing planned and waiting. One thing if you take a job transfer. Perhaps she can arrange something with her charity ahead of time. But as much as she loves visiting London, establishing a life there is a change.

Nor am I saying they have to live together. I actually am on the boat with saying you don't. If you think its a horse beaten dead, feel free to refrain from the talk. Some of us have chosen to avoid it so far.