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  #661  
Old 01-27-2019, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Lilyflo View Post
As a granny myself, I wholeheartedly endorse your comment!

Doria has her own life & I'm sure she'll be a doting & helpful grandmother who visits often without becoming an unpaid nanny. I agree that they'll need one because Meghan is a working royal & in addition to her own work, she'll also be doing joint engagements with Harry so somebody else has to support with childcare.
Yes, I was wondering why people would think Doria would stay at the house, let alone 6-8 weeks! What would she do? Stare adoringly at the baby 24/7?
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  #662  
Old 01-27-2019, 07:28 AM
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For me, all I have to do is look at who the parents are of these "newfangled" hands on parents. All children vow to not make the mistakes their parents made and I see this in play. Both William and Harry had parents that tried to break away from the "royal mode" and give their children a more stable home environment and "normal" upbringing. This continues on as those royal boys fell in love with and married women that had a stable home life and family (even with a divorce in the picture for one of them).

The days are long gone where children should be seen and not heard.
I think that thre has been a change.. to a more cosy middle class, kind fo family life among most royals. All the same, none of them Im sure do without nannies, esp when they are back to working life. (and Im equally sure that Doria will not be drafted in to act as an unpaid nanny for her grandchild).. I think that the royals do want to be seen as more "normal", and so they certainly try to be seen as "looking after the baby", getting up in the night, changing the nappies, taking the kids to the shops with them etc.. but its problaby fairly true that they are MUCH more involved in their children's care and have less staff than the queen and Philip had... to help with their general care.
Its said that one day when it was a nanny's day off and Diana was looking after the kids herself, the queen said "I don't know why Diana has to do this, tehre are plenty of housemaids. " I dotn say that the story is true but it is possibly a relfextion fo the queen's attitude that Nanny was there to care for the children and if she wasn't avaialbe It was still not that likely that the mother would care for the children herself...
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  #663  
Old 01-27-2019, 07:44 AM
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Its said that one day when it was a nanny's day off and Diana was looking after the kids herself, the queen said "I don't know why Diana has to do this, tehre are plenty of housemaids. " I dotn say that the story is true but it is possibly a relfextion fo the queen's attitude that Nanny was there to care for the children and if she wasn't avaialbe It was still not that likely that the mother would care for the children herself...
This really shows how child rearing has changed over the generations. Of course, a nanny is a necessity. For example, lets say, Trooping the Color. The kids are expected to be on the balcony with their parents but at their young age, they can't be expected to stand still at a window for, to them, a long period of time, watching the parade itself. Nanny comes in handy and keeps the kids occupied as the parents do their "duty" and watch the parade. An extra pair of hands so to speak. Same with royal weddings, kids disappear out of sight for the ceremony with the nanny. Mummy has a planning session with someone and nanny steps in keeping the kids occupied.

I would almost describe it as having a third parent figure on hand when needed. The kids do grow up with a close relationship with their nannies.
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  #664  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:08 AM
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Of course a nanny is a necessity...but the point I was making was that the queen (probably) saw Nanny as the main carer for her children and that she spent an hour or 2 with them..a day but didn't have to get up in the night or calm a crying toddler.... I don't quite say that she was like Queen Mary..that when Baby cried he was handed back to nanny who took him away.. but she was closer to that sort of idea of Motherhood than to that of Diana or Will and Kate...
  #665  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:30 AM
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Yes, I was wondering why people would think Doria would stay at the house, let alone 6-8 weeks! What would she do? Stare adoringly at the baby 24/7?
I won't be surprised to hear that Doria stayed for a few weeks in the UK after Meghan gives birth. It isn't really that uncommon to have family come and assist. I know in mine, my aunt stayed with my cousin a little over a month after she had her 1st child. She lived in another state. Meghan is in another country. That said, Doria has her own life. Her job is not to be a nanny. They will hire their own but those 1st few weeks she will offer great support.
  #666  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:38 AM
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I won't be surprised to hear that Doria stayed for a few weeks in the UK after Meghan gives birth. It isn't really that uncommon to have family come and assist. I know in mine, my aunt stayed with my cousin a little over a month after she had her 1st child. She lived in another state. Meghan is in another country. That said, Doria has her own life. Her job is not to be a nanny. They will hire their own but those 1st few weeks she will offer great support.
Staying in the country, I understand. But in the house? What would she have to do?
In a normal household, she could do the dishes, wash baby-clothes, take an older sibling to school/spend time with. But H&M have staff for the first two tasks and no other children that needs attention from a loving grandmother.
  #667  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:46 AM
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For all we know, Harry and Meghan may opt out of having household "help" in the weeks following the birth of their first child. I'm sure that eventually, they'll have some staff at Frogmore Cottage but Meghan does seem like the domestic "hands on" kind of person that loves to cook and most likely does her own dishes and cleaning.

Doria may be a godsend in the weeks following the birth but I don't expect Doria to give up her life for her grandchild. Nor do I think Harry and Meghan would expect her to. Most often for grandmothers being around after a birth of a grandchild, it is mostly to include the grandmother in welcoming the baby home and for moral support for a first time mother and not for what a grandmother can do domestically.
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  #668  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:48 AM
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Im sure she will want to spend some time iwht her first grandchild.. she lives so far away at present that she can't pop in every weekend... and she will be helpful as reassuring a nervous first time mother...
  #669  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:53 AM
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Why not stay in the house? I don't see why she would stay in a hotel. That seems strange. Harry and Meghan have the space. I am sure Doria will find plenty to do and will hardly be cooped up in their house all day. I doubt Meghan will be doing much those 1st few weeks anyways, so all Doria will be doing is being with her daughter and grandchild.
  #670  
Old 01-27-2019, 08:55 AM
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Oh dear.
I don't know how things were when you had children, but I personally was not some nervous helpless person when I had my first baby.
And while I appreciated the dishes done, my husband and I were always happy when the visitors were gone and the three of us were together again.
  #671  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:01 AM
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Oh dear.
I don't know how things were when you had children, but I personally was not some nervous helpless person when I had my first baby.
And while I appreciated the dishes done, my husband and I were always happy when the visitors were gone and the three of us were together again.
well if Meg and Harry don't want an outsider, they shoudnt invite her.. and sicne they are royals they will certainly have various staff living in or very close with them for most of their lives.. who will be part of their life.. so they can't be Mum Dad and kids alone
  #672  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:06 AM
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I think we can just chop this up to personal dynamics. I definitely know people like you SLV who needed their space and didn't want all the "helpers" around all the time. I think that will likely be me was well. LOL. I just need my space. But my aunt and cousin were basically thick as thieves and she needed her mom by her side for that emotional support.

It wasn't that she was hopeless, she was just scared and needed her mom to encourage her that she was being a good mom herself. We don't know Meghan and what she might need emotionally. We know she is very close to her mom and she might very well need her by her side just to give her that gentle squeeze as she does something simple.

Everyone is different and needs different things when at their most vulnerable.
  #673  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:09 AM
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Yes, I agree. Just wanted to point out the other option as that hadn't been done yet. :)
  #674  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:20 AM
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Yes, I was wondering why people would think Doria would stay at the house, let alone 6-8 weeks! What would she do? Stare adoringly at the baby 24/7?
When I had my babies, my mother came & stayed with us for a couple of weeks because we lived a long way apart (& no paternity leave then). I already had some household help so she didn't need to do anything much but her presence enabled me to get some daytime sleep. When my daughter had hers, I went there every day to help - didn't need to stay because we live quite near to her. She already had a cleaner (plus Dad on paternity leave) but I made some meals, bought some groceries & looked after the baby so the new Mum & Dad could take an afternoon nap. Grannies (& Grandpas) can help in all sorts of ways but once the parents are back to work, they usually need childcare from outside the family because Grannies have their own lives too, whether they're royal or not.
  #675  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:26 AM
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Many women don't breast feed. Should maternity leave only be for breast feeding mothers

One could argue if a woman is in good enough health to leave the hospital hours after birth, she is in physical shape to return to work after. Its not all about the physical labor of having a baby. Having a baby is a change to everyone in the house, not just the father.
Leaving the hospital is far from being the same as being fit for work. Recovery after labor does not need to take place in the hospital (even labor itself can take place outside).

While I fulle agree that it is a good thing that fathers also get leave, I don't like how the real difference between a mother and father is diminished by some. They shouldn't be entitled to the same leave when it is the mother who gives birth and is the only one who can breastfeed the baby. And yes, in away it could be argued that those breast feeding should receive a longer leave than those who don't. It is well known that it is of great importance for the baby...
  #676  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:26 AM
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I think we've pretty much established that how things go depend on the people, themselves. I think we can be assured that Harry and Meghan will do things their way regardless of what anyone else may think.

Personally, I think it meant much more to my mom and dad being there throughout my labor (in the room with me) and then delivery (in the waiting room of course) than actually being around constantly after the baby came home. I was adopted and my parents missed out on the labor/delivery thing but got to share it with me.
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  #677  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:37 AM
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Then there are parents who both work but are able to take their parental leave consecutively rather than concurrently so the baby isn’t put into day care until he/she is a little older.
  #678  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:38 AM
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Staying in the country, I understand. But in the house? What would she have to do?
In a normal household, she could do the dishes, wash baby-clothes, take an older sibling to school/spend time with. But H&M have staff for the first two tasks and no other children that needs attention from a loving grandmother.
We donít know what their domestic staff situation is. Itís highly unlikely that they have significant help at all at Nott Cott.
  #679  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:43 AM
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We donít know what their domestic staff situation is. Itís highly unlikely that they have significant help at all at Nott Cott.
But they probably have a cleaner come in there and definitely at the Cotswolds rental.
  #680  
Old 01-27-2019, 09:55 AM
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But they probably have a cleaner come in there and definitely at the Cotswolds rental.
Again, Iíve seen nothing that indicates anything to me on what they have in terms of domestic help.
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