Harry and Chelsy: Relationship Musings

[Amelia]

Originally Posted by Idriel

I am also confused as to why people are always saying that they are never going to last, their relationship is too unstable, etc. Often, those are the same people making wedding plans for Will and Kate.

H&C have been dating for 6 years (same length as W&K), they have reportedly broken up twice, with the second break up more serious than the first one (same as W&K), they have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of their time together and have managed to survive this (a feat in itself), they publicly show affection and love for each other and have obvious chemistry and complimentary body language.
Yes, they have fights, like any couples, but how is getting upset to be stood up at an airport with 20 paps harassing you while you wait a sign of instability? Wouldn't you be?

If anything, these two seem the more solid and loving couple and actually seem to be together for the right reasons (i.e., because they are madly in love with each other, not because it's a convenient relationship or because they're too lazy, paranoid or scared to try and meet somebody new).

I think people who say this the relationship is volatile just hope it is because they don't really like the idea of Chelsy as a permanent addition to the BRF.
Imo, if that relationship doesn't last the distance, it won't be because of lack of love or stability, but because of Chelsy's professional ambitions and disinterest in becoming a royal.

And yet often it is the ones who declare these two to be the real deal that are the ones declaring William and Kate are not going to last, that he will never marry her etc. Guess it is just the silliness that goes on in these forums

Harry was a member of the Royal family when she met him, he was a member of the Royal family when they started dating, and he has been a member of the Royal family while she continued to date him for the last 6 years. She has had speculation and accusations made against her father, she has been insulted and branded a blond bimbo by the press and she has been followed by photographers during those 6 years. She has know who Harry is, she has know who his family is and she has know what all that would means if she remained in a relationship with his and yet she has. I'm sorry but I will never believe she, or any girl, would put up with all that comes with dating a prince for all those years and have a disinterest in becoming Royal.

[segolen]

Originally Posted by Amelia

I'm sorry but I will never believe she, or any girl, would put up with all that comes with dating a prince for all those years and have a disinterest in becoming Royal.

In ideal world you are right. But you would be surprise how many girls would would put up with even worst things, just for a little bit of fame. I really sorry to say this, but see this behavior all over the place. And it is very sad indeed. I hope Chelsy is not one of those girls, as she proven so far that she is not. I can't say the same about Kate.

[Idriel]

Originally Posted by Amelia

And yet often it is the ones who declare these two to be the real deal that are the ones declaring William and Kate are not going to last, that he will never marry her etc.

I don't know if this is directed to me personally but I am not saying W&K can't last or won't ever be married. What I am saying is that I hope they don't. I am actually pretty resigned that they will, I just don't happen to be happy about it.

I'm sorry but I will never believe she, or any girl, would put up with all that comes with dating a prince for all those years and have a disinterest in becoming Royal.

I have no trouble believe that in the case of Chelsy for three reasons.

Firstly, dating Harry and marrying Harry represent two very different realities. As Harry's girlfriend, Chelsy can do (and does) whatever she wants and has to report to no-one. I see no contradiction in her pursuing a relationship with him for so many years but not being interested in being a royal.

Secondly, Harry presents a very attractive package: aside from his personal qualities (I find him to be extremely attractive, physically and in terms of personality, but I realize it's a question of taste) he is in a privileged position: close enough to the throne so that being his girlfriend comes with many perks but not the heir so the pressure of dating him are considerably less than that of dating William.

Thirdly, I don't believe Chelsy's life has been much disrupted, all things considered.
Yes, she has had bad press in the beginning of the relationship but you will note that these days she is getting positive press and that the public tide has turned in her favor. Tabloids or internet forums are easily ignored anyway and she comes off as ultra confident so I doubt the bad press affected her much.
She has gone on with her life the way she, I assume, always intended to: building her career, finding a job and not hiding away or lingering in a limbo while waiting for Harry to make a move. She hasn't sacrificed anything, unlike Kate who has pretty much put all her eggs in one basket and made so many sacrifices. If Harry and Chelsy break-up tomorrow, nothing will change in her life, aside from the press progressively losing interest in her. The biggest concession she has made has been to move to the UK for a while, and I believe she would have done that even if Harry wasn't a Prince.
Also, if she was so desperate to become a princess, she would stay close to her 'prize', not move back home or invest herself in a time-consuming career.

I genuinely think she's just a girl who fell in love with a great guy. A great guy who happens to be Prince of the UK, to her annoyance.

[CrownPrincess5]

I'm not being negative toward they're relationship. I have no ill-will toward Chelsy.
But I just don't see them getting married.
They will date for awhile, but I just do not think that's Harry's future wife.

[4Pam]

The fact that Chelsy pursues other things (ie. education, career) gives her a more positive image. We see a young woman who's dating the most eligible bachelor in the world who isn't afraid to have a life of her own and is interested in personal/intellectual growth. I'm sure she's doing everything she can with her life now to make sure she doesn't miss out on anything if she marries Harry. I'd imagine it would be diffcult to be a full time working royal and a full time lawyer at the same time. She will make a great a lawyer one day and princess if she marries Harry. They seem to make a great team together.

[Amelia]

He is only the most eligible bachelor in the world if one is interested in becoming a princess. If not then he is only an OK looking guy with a hell of a lot of baggage. What I see is a young woman is dating a prince and went to university. The same as I see with his brother and his girlfriend.

[Amelia]

Originally Posted by segolen

In ideal world you are right. But you would be surprise how many girls would would put up with even worst things, just for a little bit of fame. I really sorry to say this, but see this behavior all over the place. And it is very sad indeed. I hope Chelsy is not one of those girls, as she proven so far that she is not. I can't say the same about Kate.

Yes there are many women (and men) who date high profile people for fame to usually help launch or further their careers but these are usually brief fling, probably due to the fact there is no genuine feeling behind them, not 6 year long relationships. Dating a prince brings you fame but it also brings you criticism if you are seen to try and use that fame in any way.

[Amelia]

Originally Posted by Idriel

I don't know if this is directed to me personally but I am not saying W&K can't last or won't ever be married. What I am saying is that I hope they don't. I am actually pretty resigned that they will, I just don't happen to be happy about it.

No it is just an observation, similar to the one you make of how people who don't think C&H will work are often the ones W&K will, I notice that the ones who think W&K won't work are often the ones who think H&C will. As for me I hope if W&K want to get married that they do and I hope if C&H want to get married that they do. Though I think I am in the minority of just want both couples to do what they think is for the best.

I have no trouble believe that in the case of Chelsy for three reasons.

Firstly, dating Harry and marrying Harry represent two very different realities. As Harry's girlfriend, Chelsy can do (and does) whatever she wants and has to report to no-one. I see no contradiction in her pursuing a relationship with him for so many years but not being interested in being a royal.

Secondly, Harry presents a very attractive package: aside from his personal qualities (I find him to be extremely attractive, physically and in terms of personality, but I realize it's a question of taste) he is in a privileged position: close enough to the throne so that being his girlfriend comes with many perks but not the heir so the pressure of dating him are considerably less than that of dating William.

Thirdly, I don't believe Chelsy's life has been much disrupted, all things considered.
Yes, she has had bad press in the beginning of the relationship but you will note that these days she is getting positive press and that the public tide has turned in her favor. Tabloids or internet forums are easily ignored anyway and she comes off as ultra confident so I doubt the bad press affected her much.
She has gone on with her life the way she, I assume, always intended to: building her career, finding a job and not hiding away or lingering in a limbo while waiting for Harry to make a move. She hasn't sacrificed anything, unlike Kate who has pretty much put all her eggs in one basket and made so many sacrifices. If Harry and Chelsy break-up tomorrow, nothing will change in her life, aside from the press progressively losing interest in her. The biggest concession she has made has been to move to the UK for a while, and I believe she would have done that even if Harry wasn't a Prince.
Also, if she was so desperate to become a princess, she would stay close to her 'prize', not move back home or invest herself in a time-consuming career.

I genuinely think she's just a girl who fell in love with a great guy. A great guy who happens to be Prince of the UK, to her annoyance.

I never said that she was desperate to become a princess, I said that she wasn't desperate to not become one. I said that I don't believe that she would end the relationship because she hated the idea of becoming Royal. I think she has no problem with being royal if that's what getting married to Harry means. I said she knew who he was when she first met him. She choose to enter into a relationship with him, which at first was probably a bit of fun and I'm sure she enjoyed being the girlfriend of a prince. I'm sure what having a future with a prince meant wasn't a big concern for her but 6 years later, yeah I'm sure she has thought about what it means by now. If she hasn't then she clearly isn't the intelligent woman she is portrayed to be by some on these forums. You say she is a girl who fell in love with a great guy, we can presume this didn't happen last week. When you love somebody and are in a relationship with them you think about the future, living together, getting married, having children. All these things Chelsey knows she can not do without becoming a member of the Royal family. There is this whole part of Harry's life that she cannot be involved in without marrying him. She has know this for the last 6 years and if joining the Royal Family was something she had a real problem then she would not of continued dating him. Unless of course she is happily to always his girlfriend, never fully being part of his life, never living together, never having children but I doubt it. So as I said I will never believe any woman who dates a prince for years has a problem with becoming Royal. That said I don't believe that Harry being a prince is what she is interested in, I have no doubt that they would be together if he was just a regular guy, the same for his brother and his girlfriend.

I don't think that the public tide had turned in her favor. The DM posters maybe but there are still some pretty nasty and unnecessary comments made about her -mostly as far as I can see by people who agree with you and find Harry attractive, I guess it is the drawback of dating a popular prince.

I also don't think Kate has made any great sacrifices, maybe her privacy but she also knew who she was getting into a relationship with. She has made choices, choices that some may not agree with or like but that doesn't mean that she is not happy with them. Choices that she may or may not have made even if she wasn't with William. We will never know, just like we will never know if Chelsy would have come to England if she and Harry weren't a couple.

[Iluvbertie]

I wouldn't describe Harry as the most eligible bachelor in the world. That title should probably go to William, particularly now that Albert of Monaco is off the market.

[Thena]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

I wouldn't describe Harry as the most eligible bachelor in the world. That title should probably go to William, particularly now that Albert of Monaco is off the market.

Still, William's life will be devoted to duty. Harry will have a lot more freedom. I recall Princess Diana telling a young girl to set her cap for Harry for that reason.

[Sereta]

Perhaps Harry and Chelsy are just enjoying each other for now and have no intention of marrying.

[4Pam]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

I wouldn't describe Harry as the most eligible bachelor in the world. That title should probably go to William, particularly now that Albert of Monaco is off the market.

For me he is the most eligible. But I should have said "one of the most eligible bachelors."

[Iluvbertie]

Originally Posted by 4Pam

For me he is the most eligible. But I should have said "one of the most eligible bachelors."

How can the second son by more eligible than the eldest? The wife of the eldest will have way more money, homes, jewels and simply the best of everything while the wife of the second son will have financial security and some jewels but will be open to way more criticism and in time will be married to a minor member of the family (I have even seen Harry described as a minor royal now as he is only the second son). Harry's wife in time will be vilified simply to promote the wife of the eldest son - history has shown this to be the way the press operate.

You are of course entitled to your opinion but I can't see the second son being more eligible than the elder of the two.

[georgiea]

Most eligible to different people mean different things. Different priorities for different people.

Prince William's wife will have everything materialistically, but will she have freedom in her life? To have a career?

Prince Henry's wife will need nothing also materialistically, but not on the scale of the Crown Princess or Queen. But I think she will have more freedom in her life for a career if she wants it.

[Thena]

Hopefully, Harry's wife will turn out more like a Countess of Wessex than a Duchess of York. But he's also had the benefit of learning from the marital successes and failures of his father, aunt and uncles.

[rmay286]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

How can the second son by more eligible than the eldest? The wife of the eldest will have way more money, homes, jewels and simply the best of everything while the wife of the second son will have financial security and some jewels but will be open to way more criticism and in time will be married to a minor member of the family (I have even seen Harry described as a minor royal now as he is only the second son). Harry's wife in time will be vilified simply to promote the wife of the eldest son - history has shown this to be the way the press operate.

You are of course entitled to your opinion but I can't see the second son being more eligible than the elder of the two.

I can. I think many women would like the financial security and prestige that comes from marrying a prince, but might not want the lifelong duties that go along with being queen. For these women, all the extra assets of money and jewels might not be enough to outweigh the sacrifices that go along with being a queen.

[4Pam]

William is the most eligible bc he will be the king. He and his wife will get all the glory that comes with that status. But Harry has the freedom which is more valuable than palaces and jewels. Freedom is more attractive than the burden that comes with being king and queen.

I remember reading an article where Diana was quoted that "royal firstborns may get all the glory but second born gets all the freedom."

[Iluvbertie]

Originally Posted by 4Pam

William is the most eligible bc he will be the king. He and his wife will get all the glory that comes with that status. But Harry has the freedom which is more valuable than palaces and jewels. Freedom is more attractive than the burden that comes with being king and queen.

I remember reading an article where Diana was quoted that "royal firstborns may get all the glory but second born gets all the freedom."

She should have added 'they also get all the vitriolic press and the public hatred' e.g. Margaret and Andrew.

[Mermaid1962]

Yes, the press loves to play Good Royal/Bad Royal.

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

She should have added 'they also get all the vitriolic press and the public hatred' e.g. Margaret and Andrew.

[Idriel]

Originally Posted by Amelia

I'm sure what having a future with a prince meant wasn't a big concern for her but 6 years later, yeah I'm sure she has thought about what it means by now. If she hasn't then she clearly isn't the intelligent woman she is portrayed to be by some on these forums.

I fail to see how that has anything to do with her intelligence.

I know plenty of women in their early twenties (myself included) who enjoy the comfort and security of a stable, loving and committed relationship but are not yet thinking about lifelong commitment and children.
In addition, a woman who is so obviously hell-bent on a demanding law career would probably not want to start a family until her career is secured (that would mean in her 30s at the earliest).
In the mean time, she'll probably be happy to just be Harry's girlfriend. Why not?

Regarding the ongoing debate about eligibility, it really depends on what you value: if you are all about prestige and status, William is the better prospect. Being Queen is non-the-less a dull, oppressive position with no retirement plan, so you better really get off people curtsying to you.
And being the heir or married to the heir doesn't protect anyone from vicious press. If anything, people bash you even more if you put a foot wrong (see the horrible press the Queen got during the Diana debacle, or the recurrent Charles bashings).

Some NoTW gossip:

Chelsy's love 'gap year'

PRINCE Harry wants Chelsy Davy to a take a "gap year" break from him - to save their love.

He desperately hopes it will give her time to change her mind about ending their relationship.