Engagement of Prince Harry of Wales and Meghan Markle: November 27, 2017

[soapstar]

I've deleted a few comments. This thread is not for discussing William and Kate's relationship when they were dating. Let's also move away from comparing Meghan to Kate and Sophie. If you wish to continue the discussion about Meghan's future role in the BRF, take it to the the Future Duties and Role thread.

[Denville]

Originally Posted by BMC

I'm glad to finally see someone who shares my concerns about this.

Me by her. I think it would be odd if she did not struggle a great deal with the lack of control over her own life she will now have to endure as Prince Harry's wife, plus the scrutiny of the British media. I don't think this is something Prince Harry can help her with all that much as he has never truly experienced the freedom & independence that Megan has enjoyed. I'd feel a lot better about this marriage if Megan had had the "apprenticeship" that the Countess of Wessex & Duchess of Cambridge had prior to their marriages where they were able to get a first hand look at & experience of royal life over a lengthy period of time. I think it helped them both a great deal in the long run. Instead Megan is jumping from the frying pan into the fire as it were.

well I have felt that it would have been better if she had been advised to move to England and learn more about englsh life and live with Harry for a while before they got engaged. But they haven't. and its too late now..

[Mbruno]

Originally Posted by BMC

I'm glad to finally see someone who shares my concerns about this.

Megan Markle not only had the talent she had the strength & courage to establish a career in a fiercely competitive business ( I pray she never encountered Harvey Weinstein or anyone like him). She's been the architect of her career & her life.

I beg to differ. As I said before, Meghan was a late boomer in her acting career and the best she got was a role in a cable show which, although long-running, is by no means memorable in the history of American TV. After Suits, I don't see her acting career going anywhere really. Maybe she could reinvent herself as a social media personality, or pursue other interests like gourmet cooking (which seems to be where she was heading when she was dating that celebrity chef), but, when all is said and done, marrying Harry is by far the best "career change" she could have made at this particular point in her life.

[Denville]

Originally Posted by Mbruno

I beg to differ. As I said before, Meghan was a late boomer in her acting career and the best she got was a role in a cable show which, although long-running, is by no means memorable in the history of American TV. After Suits, I don't see her acting career going anywhere really. Maybe she could reinvent herself as a social media personality, or pursue other interests like gourmet cooking (which seems to be where she was heading when she was dating that celebrity chef), but, when all is said and done, marrying Harry is by far the best "career change" she could have made at this particular point in her life.

That may be so, I agree that's she is harldy a great actress.. and its possible that she might have realised that she was never going to be more thtan "a working actress"....
but it does not mean that she may not find it difficult to adjust to a life that is very much controlled by the expectations of being a royal.. She has been her own person, abel to choose her own work and career. Now she will have a lot less choice, possibly a lot of press criticism.. once the "new bride" thing wears off. and she's living in a new country... not just as a private individual but as a public figure.

[Lady Nimue]

Originally Posted by Denville

well I have felt that it would have been better if she had been advised to move to England and learn more about englsh life and live with Harry for a while before they got engaged. But they haven't. and its too late now..

I agree. It will always be the question as we move forward with this couple (unlike another just engaged royal couple who have had the requisite lead-up time and it all feels 'right as rain'). The lack of that lead-up time is not insignificant in my view.

Originally Posted by Mbruno

I beg to differ. As I said before, Meghan was a late bloomer in her acting career and the best she got was a role in a cable show which, although long-running, is by no means memorable in the history of American TV. After Suits, I don't see her acting career going anywhere really. Maybe she could reinvent herself as a social media personality, or pursue other interests like gourmet cooking (which seems to be where she was heading when she was dating that celebrity chef), but, when all is said and done, marrying Harry is by far the best "career change" she could have made at this particular point in her life.

Interesting assessment. If Meghan is genuinely in love with Harry (and I don't doubt she is) in a way it is the only choice she could have made. BUT marrying Harry under what amounts to (imo) rushed conditions is not a wise choice (for anyone).

It's as though one is saying: career dead-end, so marriage 'saves' one.

Originally Posted by Denville

That may be so, I agree that's she is hardly a great actress.. and its possible that she might have realised that she was never going to be more than "a working actress".... but it does not mean that she may not find it difficult to adjust to a life that is very much controlled by the expectations of being a royal.. She has been her own person, able to choose her own work and career. Now she will have a lot less choice, possibly a lot of press criticism.. once the "new bride" thing wears off. and she's living in a new country... not just as a private individual but as a public figure.

Being a 'working actress' is fine in my book. That's all anyone is really. 'Big breaks' into A-list status (if that's what you think might be her goal, or anyone's goal who likes acting as a career) can happen at any juncture, but I just don't recognize your characterization of her career status. After a successful long-term run in a series, Meghan had cache for other parts in other series that would come up. Her resume was solid. She's made her connections in the business. She had options along several avenues. Marrying Harry shut down a lot for her. I just hope it proves worth it for her.

Originally Posted by Denville

but it does not mean that she may not find it difficult to adjust to a life that is very much controlled by the expectations of being a royal.. She has been her own person, able to choose her own work and career. Now she will have a lot less choice, possibly a lot of press criticism.. once the "new bride" thing wears off. and she's living in a new country... not just as a private individual but as a public figure.

Agree 100%.

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I am a fan of the long royal court ships of William and Kate Edward and Sophie and Victoria and Daniel, but Harry and Meghan didn't have the luxury of a long courtship because of their ages. And I'm sure there are people waiting to tell stories of people who married after only 6 mos. Yes there are exceptions but exceptions don't change the rule. HnM are in the heat of love right now and that "in love" feeling isn't going to last. We can only hope that behind the scenes they have established a solid relationship that can survive when the bloom of love fades.

[Terri Terri]

And I hope they are going to pre-marriage counselling and who ever is doing the counselling is really giving them a deep insight into the day to day difficulties they will face in married life. A married life which will be more difficult for them as a public senior royal couple.

[Lady Nimue]

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

I am a fan of the long royal court ships of William and Kate Edward and Sophie and Victoria and Daniel, but Harry and Meghan didn't have the luxury of a long courtship because of their ages. And I'm sure there are people waiting to tell stories of people who married after only 6 mos. Yes there are exceptions but exceptions don't change the rule. HnM are in the heat of love right now and that "in love" feeling isn't going to last. We can only hope that behind the scenes they have established a solid relationship that can survive when the bloom of love fades.

I disagree regarding their ages (Meghan's in particular). Meghan will be the same at 36/37 as at 39/40. It's not really that much of a deal-breaker 'at Meghan's age' in these times. It isn't (imo).

We'll never know, of course, but my hunch is it has taken this fast-track because it's Harry that wants marriage and his own family very much and does not want Meghan to have second thoughts with too much time to consider. Meghan is not a woman who goes without a romantic interest for long if we look at it. Meghan does not appear desperate to me (nor does Harry really when it comes to romance, though suitable marriage material is likely more problematic for him).

Plus I think the ages of his grandparents may factor in for Harry. However, I do not discount the feeling Harry expressed that 'the stars were aligned', and that they fell into each other's lives. I do not discount Kismet! It does happen and it may well have happened here and so why not go for it! In that spirit I say: DO!

Originally Posted by Terri Terri

And I hope they are going to pre-marriage counselling and who ever is doing the counselling is really giving them a deep insight into the day to day difficulties they will face in married life. A married life which will be more difficult for them as a public senior royal couple.

Well said! Agree!

[Terri Terri]

Actually, I think that the royal family would prefer longer courtships given their history of divorce. And you are right, Meghan wasn't waiting around for Harry to come in to her life so I am hoping the decisions that she has made to be with Harry makes it worthwhile in her eyes.

[Curbside]

Originally Posted by Terri Terri

Actually, I think that the royal family would prefer longer courtships given their history of divorce. And you are right, Meghan wasn't waiting around for Harry to come in to her life so I am hoping the decisions that she has made to be with Harry makes it worthwhile in her eyes.

Actually, I think going to the same limited dating pool is more of what is driving the marital woes. And there's no way of knowing whether marriage problems will impact the current generation.

At 36, Meghan's childbearing prospects are dwindling:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility

Both Harry and Meghan have been around the block. I do believe Harry pursued Meghan so ardently because she does have options. She had a thriving career (far, far more successful than most actresses), her own interests and friends, and she seems pretty confident and self-possessed. She could certainly continue her acting career--I have no idea why anyone would think otherwise. Not to mention her endorsements, her humanitarian pursuits.

In short, she doesn't need Harry. Maybe he realized that, and decided to put a ring on it.

[wyevale]

Equally one might argue that she [nearing the end of her child-bearing years],needed 'A him'.. The career prospects of [even STELLAR] actresses nearing 40 are shaky [and they know 'the roles dry up']. Altho' no doubt competent in her field, nobody could describe Ms Markle as especially notable in that field..

[Curbside]

Originally Posted by wyevale

Equally one might argue that she [nearing the end of her child-bearing years],needed 'A him'.. The career prospects of [even STELLAR] actresses nearing 40 are shaky [and they know 'the roles dry up']. Altho' no doubt competent in her field, nobody could describe Ms Markle as especially notable in that field..

Again, she has had a successful career, and while she's not hugely famous, she's way better off than others. She is already worth a few million bucks, and may not have to work a lot to be financially well off. She's smart and has managed to make a path for herself in a very competitive field. I think Harry is lucky to have found her.

[Princess Larisa]

Originally Posted by wyevale

Equally one might argue that she [nearing the end of her child-bearing years],needed 'A him'..

Actually, marrying Harry (or William, Felipe, Haakon, etc.) severely limits a woman’s options when it comes to having children. As a rich American, Meghan could have the option of surrogacy, adoption, donor eggs or donor sperm. All of these are off the table for Harry’s wife.

[Terri Terri]

Good point!

[MARG]

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

I am a fan of the long royal court ships of William and Kate Edward and Sophie and Victoria and Daniel, but Harry and Meghan didn't have the luxury of a long courtship because of their ages. And I'm sure there are people waiting to tell stories of people who married after only 6 mos. Yes there are exceptions but exceptions don't change the rule. HnM are in the heat of love right now and that "in love" feeling isn't going to last. We can only hope that behind the scenes they have established a solid relationship that can survive when the bloom of love fades.

We live in strange and unreasonable times. William courted Catherine for ten years, Edward Courted Sophie for five and we cannot include Victoria and Daniel as their situation was external, not internal.

But, I find myself wondering what is wrong with Harry and Meghan. Their marriage has as much chance as anyone else's to succeed or end in divorce. It depends on how willing they are to work at it.

To talk about them like they are 20 and haven't known each other long enough to make a clear, logical decision to wed but are instead blinded by lust is an absurdity or are people maturing ten years older than they did in the 1940's?

Back then, at the age of 20, the average man (now boy) knew he would be called up to fight and possibly die for their country unless they had already enlisted. Are you all saying the decision to volunteer to fight and die for one's country is mere whimsy, a spur of the moment decision, but at the same time is are totally incapable of taking lifelong vows to be love and honour because said vows were as a result of lust, not love?

Life is what happens when you are making plans.

[Abbigail]

Originally Posted by BMC

I'm glad to finally see someone who shares my concerns about this.

Megan Markle not only had the talent she had the strength & courage to establish a career in a fiercely competitive business ( I pray she never encountered Harvey Weinstein or anyone like him). She's been the architect of her career & her life. Not only is she giving that up she is entering a position with very strict boundaries and governed by rules that are mostly unwritten, none of them determined by her. I think it would be odd if she did not struggle a great deal with the lack of control over her own life she will now have to endure as Prince Harry's wife, plus the scrutiny of the British media. I don't think this is something Prince Harry can help her with all that much as he has never truly experienced the freedom & independence that Megan has enjoyed. I'd feel a lot better about this marriage if Megan had had the "apprenticeship" that the Countess of Wessex & Duchess of Cambridge had prior to their marriages where they were able to get a first hand look at & experience of royal life over a lengthy period of time. I think it helped them both a great deal in the long run. Instead Megan is jumping from the frying pan into the fire as it were.

Let me just say that I don't discount the big adjustments Meghan has to make now entering a whole new, different "world". I'm sure it hasn't been or won't be an easy adjustment for her, particularly when a lot of her family and friends are in other countries. But what's odd to me is the belief that this transition just has to be some great struggle for her. It may be hard for some of us to fathom something different but I think we underestimate Meghan we we talk as if she has no clue what's she's getting into. After all, she is an adult woman who has lived and traveled and had failures and stuggles of her own already. (Not to mention a career that better prepares her for royal life.) I don't doubt that she thought a lot about what she'd be taking on, what she'd be giving up and decided that she was ready. I have yet to see any reason to question her on that.

[Pranter]

Harry and Meghan both have quite a bit of life experience. They've been thru the ups/downs in their job and in their personal lives. They are mature adults. Meghan (or Harry) are fully capable of calling things to a halt at any point if they think it's not going to work.

Myself I see no real reason to think it won't work, for all the reasons already mentioned.


LaRae

[Abbigail]

Originally Posted by Curbside

Both Harry and Meghan have been around the block. I do believe Harry pursued Meghan so ardently because she does have options. She had a thriving career (far, far more successful than most actresses), her own interests and friends, and she seems pretty confident and self-possessed. She could certainly continue her acting career--I have no idea why anyone would think otherwise. Not to mention her endorsements, her humanitarian pursuits.

In short, she doesn't need Harry. Maybe he realized that, and decided to put a ring on it.

Perhaps not only did he realize that, but also that he would be lucky to have such a woman. Why wait and see for whatever reason when you know you've found the one?

[AlowVera]

Originally Posted by Abbigail

Let me just say that I don't discount the big adjustments Meghan has to make now entering a whole new, different "world". I'm sure it hasn't been or won't be an easy adjustment for her, particularly when a lot of her family and friends are in other countries. But what's odd to me is the belief that this transition just has to be some great struggle for her. It may be hard for some of us to fathom something different but I think we underestimate Meghan we we talk as if she has no clue what's she's getting into. After all, she is an adult woman who has lived and traveled and had failures and stuggles of her own already. (Not to mention a career that better prepares her for royal life.) I don't doubt that she thought a lot about what she'd be taking on, what she'd be giving up and decided that she was ready. I have yet to see any reason to question her on that.

I think that Meghan is the type who thrives in new environments. People forget that she moved to Canada and quickly established connections and her own set of friends. Maybe its an American thing but I've lived in different countries as well as across the United States and it just seems like second nature to move around and then establish friendships and connections. I don't think it will be that big of a deal for her. Besides her best friend since college has a British husband, not to mention many of Harry's friends have American wives/girlfriends.

[Terri Terri]

I get what you're saying Marg I do. Look, from the time I found out that Prince Harry, a British Prince was dating a biracial woman, I was immediately intrigued because I couldn't believe that a British prince would ever date a woman of colour. TBH, I thought their relationship would never had lasted.

But when I saw the kind of abuse she got for dating Harry, then I was firmly team Harry and Meghan! And when I found out about her humanitarian background, then I started to be really impressed by her. And when Harry released that November 2016 media statement, then I knew it was serious between them.

All that being said, I can understand the point of views of those who have concerns about this relationship because it was fast as compared to other long term courtships on recent times. We have the tragic example of Charles and Diana who had a fast courtship and we all know how all of that turned out. People care about Harry and don't want him to end up like his parents