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  #881  
Old 12-23-2017, 04:57 AM
Majesty
 
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well I don't care personally. But I'd like to see the BRF go on for another few decades at least, and be reasonably successful. And I am not taken with any of the younger folk.. William IMO is the best of the "new foursome". I think he's shy, awkard and not as active as he might be, but he's a decent young man, and I think he'll do OK. Harry has a good heart but not much head IMO, and I think that in marrying someone who is from a very differnet culture, he is taking a chance. However, he clearly is in love.. and we'll hope for the best. However so far I have not taken to her.
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  #882  
Old 12-23-2017, 05:13 AM
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I don't think they've been in a 'holiday mode' for a long time. I think they've been living a settled life, spending time with friends and family, getting to really know each other. As for normal married life, getting married to the RF, and building a life in it is not 'normal' any way. It's a very entitled way of life, highly luxurious, lots of PR and jet setting and traveling. Lots of glamour and fashion, more PR and PR work. Meeting new people and all that. I don't thing living together as a couple would prepare for any of that. Only way to know what it's like to be married yo a royal, and live a married life as a royal couple is by getting married and living that life.

IMHO both Meghan and Harry are very aware what this marriage will entail, their responsibilities, restrictions etc. Meghan has shown her understanding, that she can't be outspoken about politics or controversial issues by stopping all form of social media, the Tig, her job etc. She's eager to work within the firm.

Only time will tell if they'll last, but imho a long relationship before getting married is no more guarantee for a successful marriage, than a 18 month long relationship. It depends on the couple and the individuals in the couple. And IMHO Harry and Meghan just might have what it takes.
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  #883  
Old 12-23-2017, 05:18 AM
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I can understand and respect both points of view for and against this relationship. But at the end of the day, it's Harry and Meghan's relationship and they are the ones making the decisions about their lives....not us royal watchers.
  #884  
Old 12-23-2017, 05:26 AM
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Well of course its not going to matter what we say. But this is a discussion forum and we are discussing
  #885  
Old 12-23-2017, 05:26 AM
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To be honest I have massive concerns about the future generations of the RF, they certainly seem set on doing things differently and thats not IMO, necessarily better. Meghan could go either way, she could still carry on being more a celebrity than royal but equally she could take to her new role extremely well and thrive and help the RF thrive.
  #886  
Old 12-23-2017, 06:00 AM
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It's hardly 'holiday mode' when you are flying in and out of a country around your filming schedule to the point you don't even know what day or time it is. This is not 'fun' stuff.

They put a lot of work into this relationship already.


As far as time of knowing each other before marriage. She knew her first husband around 8 years before they married..and their marriage lasted about 2 years IIRC.

I knew the day I met my husband we would end up married, just over a year later we married. That was almost 30 years ago.

There are multiple factors involved in what makes a lasting marriage. Mutual goals and beliefs/views and commitment to stick it out no matter what are probably more important than how long a person dates prior to marriage.


LaRae
  #887  
Old 12-23-2017, 06:06 AM
Majesty
 
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Of course it is Holiday...They are spending a few days together in private possibly visitng family and friends, on and off.
Its not getting up every day, going to one's job.. being at home together at times.. which is normal life even for royals.
Meghan hasn't lived in th UK, she's just visited.
Kate and William have had a fairly normal life together for some time before their marriage, living together, going out to dinner etc. K wasn't doing royal engagements, but she and Will spent a lot of time together before they got engaged. he spent a lot of time with her family...
Meghan and Harry have had "fun time" on short visits.
Of course no one can say what will make a good marriage, and of course at times it comes down to "sticking it out" and working through the bad times. but that's not easy. Hopefully they are mature enguh to know this by now, but I don't think that they have septn a lot of time together (if they have tehn they're not working as hard as one would think), and they haven't gotten to know each other in a normal life (for royals) context. It would be the same if he weren't a prince..
  #888  
Old 12-23-2017, 06:14 AM
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Making this relationship work has been hard work and making it a priority. It hasn't been a holiday. I think during this year and half they got to know each other really well, the ins and outs of each other's personalities, and they mesh well.
  #889  
Old 12-23-2017, 07:02 AM
Aristocracy
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
Did you watch the engagement interview?

They never spent longer than 2 weeks apart since the relationship began. And they said Harry made very clear to her a few months in what it would mean and the ramifications on her life.
And the time they spent together wasn't hanging out at nightclubs--there seems to have been a lot of one on one time and quiet evenings at home.
I think I would feel a lot better about them if they had waited until the two year mark of their relationship to announce their engagement . Right now they're still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and Meghan gives up her entire life , country and job .
  #890  
Old 12-23-2017, 07:05 AM
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Every couple is different. I have friends who married after 6 months of knowing each other and have just celebrated their ten year anniversary. Conversely, I have a cousin who married her school sweetheart after knowing him for 20 years and they divorced after two years of marriage. We cant possibly know how Harry and Meghan feel about each other and we can only wish them well. If anyone could really predict the future, wed live in a much happier world.
  #891  
Old 12-23-2017, 07:16 AM
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Personally, I don't think its the time spent together before an engagement that really makes a difference. Marriage changes everything no matter how long you've known your partner. It takes work. It takes compromise. It takes being willing to go from a "me" to an "us".

I knew my first husband for six months about when we married. That marriage lasted 20 years and fell apart because we changed. We matured (or at least one of us did) and we didn't mesh with each other so much anymore. I knew my second husband for eight years before we married. That period was just as best friends with no romance to it until a year before we married. That marriage has also lasted 20 years and still going strong. We mesh still and I do think being a best friend first made for a stronger relationship.

Harry and Meghan know each other well enough right now to know that their connection to each other is very strong. They have common goals and a common outlook on life and most of all, I think they respect each other's individuality. They didn't go into this with stars in their eyes so much that they were "in love" and blindly rushed off to get married. They honored each of their commitments and worked out a plan just how to go about getting married in a mature, intelligent way.

To see the both of them at their engagement announcement and to look at their engagement photos, this is a couple deeply in love with each other. They both have the strong conviction that they can and will make a marriage work. How the marriage goes will be determined day by day starting with the wedding. It doesn't really matter how they got to the point where they are right now or how long it took or how many minutes they've racked up being together. What matters the most is what they do with their marriage going into the future.
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  #892  
Old 12-23-2017, 07:27 AM
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Even if Meghan just moved in with Harry, that wouldn't show her what her life as a Royal Duchess would be like. IMO nothing can prepare you for it really. But commitment to each other and support from Harry and his family will go a long way to success.
I didn't date my husband for 2 years before we got engaged, I hadn't even known him for 2 years! Yes, we lived in the same city but we both had jobs with weird hours and he not only had a full time job (often over 40 hours / week) but also 3 part time jobs. We had to work to see each other. And we didn't live together to experience daily life.
But we'll have been married 31 years next May. It wasn't the time we knew each other beforehand. It was the commitment to each other and our marriage even during rough patches that has made our marriage last.
  #893  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denville View Post
well I don't care personally. But I'd like to see the BRF go on for another few decades at least, and be reasonably successful.
I agree.

But I don't think this engagement is rushed. Two years is plenty of time.

I really don't like these long courtships where the couple is dating for a decade; all too often they come to nothing.

Nevertheless, we haven't a clue as to how this marriage (or any marriage) will work out. Meghan and Harry may be married for the next fifty years, while the Cambridges may divorce tomorrow. There's no way to tell.
  #894  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:14 AM
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Mirabel yes just see Beatrice's situation...they were together almost 10 years and nothing. Eugenie is headed that direction too it seems...maybe hers will end in marriage.


LaRae
  #895  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
Even if Meghan just moved in with Harry, that wouldn't show her what her life as a Royal Duchess would be like. IMO nothing can prepare you for it really. But commitment to each other and support from Harry and his family will go a long way to success.
That's true. It's not about how much time they spend with each other but how much support they give each other.

You don't need so much time if you really want to know someone well and deep enough. They are adult and they are mature enough to figure out is it the right time to get marry. Obviously they think they are ready so they decide to get marry. Waiting few more years to prepare is pretty senseless to me. Honestly I don't see the reason for us to say it is too rushing, they know what they are doing. JMO
  #896  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:19 AM
Majesty
 
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I'm sure ALL couples getting married feel that they "know what they are doigng." it doesn't stop there being a high divorce rate...
  #897  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirabel View Post
I agree.

But I don't think this engagement is rushed. Two years is plenty of time.

I really don't like these long courtships where the couple is dating for a decade; all too often they come to nothing.
Such long courtships somehow become a bad thing in my mind. Usually it is like what you say, the couple comes to nothing in the end, or they are fully in love but not allowed to marry. (sorry for OT)
  #898  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:24 AM
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The high divorce rate, I believe, is not due to the couple not knowing what they were doing going into the marriage but the assumption that because they were married, everything falls into place.

Life is difficult and so is marriage.
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  #899  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:31 AM
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Unrealistic expectations for some folks. Marriage is dirty hard work at times.



LaRae
  #900  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:46 AM
Serene Highness
 
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Long dating before marriage doesn't guarantee successful marriage though. Marriage is hard work, there has to be a lot of love, like, respect and hard work to make it work. Meghan and Harry actually worked hard to make this beginning 18 months work, I think they're dedicated to continue that hard work once married. Also, Imo, the love, like and respect are there too.
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