A Thread about Frederik and Mary's Marriage

[crisiñaki]

There isn't a marriage that doesn't have issues, but sometimes when it comes to royal couples we tend to see everything black (OMG, they have huge issues and are gonna divorce) or white (the fairytale ever after)

They are human just like the rest of us, so their lives are in shades of grey: good times, bad times; marriage is not easy for us commoners so imagine how hard is for them, 'cuz they have an image to keep ALL the time; so far we don't really have any evidence of their marriage going bad or even being awesome, it's all about our views on the subjects and what we see on videos and pictures so we can't really give a objetive veredict

And for the Victoria/Frederik thing, well, they adore each other but almost as siblings, besides they understand each other as heirs of the throne, things they can't share with their own siblings; but nothing romantic

 

[Bosana]

why is it always in our nature to think about the negative.. does it really matter if he was leaning more towards victoria in those pictures? he's got eyes for mary only and everyone else is just puppets..

Well said, gudeeya -- he has eyes for Mary only. Three lovely years and two precious babies.

I was wondering how long it would take before some people would "sense" or "feel" that something was not right in their marriage. And, based on what? Body language in a few photos?
Not even a whisper from a credible source, i.e. courtiers, relatives, servants, etc. Just based on "feelings"

She just had a baby a few weeks ago, for heavens sake. Under the best of circumstances, they need a few months to resume gazing soulfully into each other's eyes. (I loved that new photo of Mary looking lovingly at Frederick while holding the new little princess btw)

Say what you will....I have a "feeling" that Mary and Frederick are still very much in love

 

[ricarda]

not to mention the recent rumours of Frederik's infidelity (can't give any specifics but I do remember rumblings about an American heiress last year). Those aren't things you hear, ever, about Haakon, Felipe, Willem-Alexander, or Philippe...And though they should of course be taken with a grain of salt, there is usually some truth in most rumours.

Dream on!
Willem-Alexander and that Dutch sport-woman?
Felipe and his ex?
And Mette-Marit&Haakon can't find people who want to work for them
because they are quarreling all the time behind closed doors.
Just a few mag stories not my own observations.

I wouldn't believe any rumour spread by magazines
as long as my own feeling tells me everything is fine.

 

[adelaide]

It's very difficult to make analysis about a couple who at the begining of their commitement were extremely demonstrative - a little bite as if they had to proof something-
It's absolutly obvious that Frederic and Victoria are very old friends since a long while and for that they can have a lot of children's remember.
For my part, I found that the behaviour of the both was as these of two teen agers in the middle of old elephants and they took pleasure to be together during three days, may be.... boring.
But, it's also absolutly clear that Frederic and Mary are both two independant and - may be- selfish personns and as they have find now they own way of life in their own family landscape they don't need to kiss them in front the press all days long. We can say they are more mature, isen'it?

 

[UserDane]

I too feel that these so-called rumours, interpretations of still pictures etc. that end up with a conclusion of marriage trouble are a bit too contrived, too planned to have any creditability.
They just had a baby - the pictures we have seen in that connection are pictures of a clearly happy couple which adore their children. We have seen pictures of a Frederik who looks adoringly at his new little daughter. So what exactly is all the marriage trouble based on? Seems very contrived to me.

I saw the live footage here when he received Victoria and her parents at Copenhagen harbour at the state visit; Victoria and Frederik shared a car and he talked animatedly with her in the car, making gestures and Victoria laughed and smiled. My interpretation is that Victoria got a healthy dose of babytalk before the doors of the car were closed - and that she got that because Frederik considers Victoria to be family and a good friend. Some people can after all be friends with people of the opposite sex.

Frederik and Mary are 'new' parents, once again. Cut them some slack for God's sake from all these invented problems. IMO all new parents deserve some extra consideration till they have gained a foothold with the new family structure, and that includes Frederik and Mary. Everything else just seems mean.

 

[Sister Morphine]

Some people can after all be friends with people of the opposite sex.

OMG thank you. What is it that makes people think a man and woman can't just be friends? I have a ton of guy friends that I'm just friends with....I have no interest in them romantically. Do people say these things about Frederik and Mary because they secretly want them to break up?

 

[ricarda]

Yes, UserDane, I agree.
I do have some comfort though.

1. It's always the same people who come up with such stories,
those who almost never had anything positive to say about Mary and Frederik
which IMO minimizes the value of their opinions/impressions.
I would be more worried if a fan of the Danish couple had the impression of marriage troubles.

2. Those comments who were originally made to make CP Victoria look good
don't make her look too good in the end.
If she really was flirting with Frederik, as Se og Hoer claims
- "there usually is some truth in most rumours" -
then what should we think of her?

 

[UserDane]

Ricarda, the creditability of Se og Hør is on par with these two Australian magazines which change course in their stories every week
Victoria to me seemed very charming during this state visit - and I'll say the same goes for Frederik. They both looked relaxed and very much at ease in each other's company - the way only very good friends are. If there had been any underlying sexual tensions, they would never act this way IMO.
When they arrived at Fredensborg castle, all the royals turned around to have their photo taken before they entered the door. Victoria laughinghly pulled prince Joachim closer to her - but this does not seem to have trigged off any rumours She was sweet, charming and seemed to feel good among her relatives - and 'colleagues'.

 

[biboquinhas]

I think Mary gets very well along with Frederik's friends who now are her friends also! She really enjoys been in Denmark and I think she already get used to Denmark cultural issues! She change her life in the name of love, she made everyhting, all her efforts are made in the name of her love to Frederik and I think that give her strengh to continue with her life has the Denmark beautiful Princess!

 

[ricarda]

Ricarda, the creditability of Se og Hør is on par with these two Australian magazines which change course in their stories every week
Victoria to me seemed very charming during this state visit - and I'll say the same goes for Frederik. They both looked relaxed and very much at ease in each other's company - the way only very good friends are. If there had been any underlying sexual tensions, they would never act this way IMO.
When they arrived at Fredensborg castle, all the royals turned around to have their photo taken before they entered the door. Victoria laughinghly pulled prince Joachim closer to her - but this does not seem to have trigged off any rumours She was sweet, charming and seemed to feel good among her relatives - and 'colleagues'.

UserDane, don't worry, I know what to think about S&H.
And as I said before, in my eyes Frederik and Victoria simply
showed the complicity of two people sitting in the same boat.
Nothing more and nothing wrong in their behaviour.

My comment was just a passing shot against those who actually saw more in their relationship
- and were referring to a trash mag like Se og Hoer as a source of creditability -
and did not realize that the whole thing could be interpreted in a (for Victoria) less flattering way.
And against those who "can't give any specifics" but think "there is usually some truth in most rumours"
(unless those rumours are about their favourites, I guess ).

 

[Lena]

2. Those comments who were originally made to make CP Victoria look good
don't make her look too good in the end.
If she really was flirting with Frederik, as Se og Hoer claims
- "there usually is some truth in most rumours" -
then what should we think of her?

That she is not half as boring, as many ppl might think...and then maybe more would come down to the SRF- Forum. So far I can´t see anything negatively

Sorry, but IMO your own remark about F&M's cold body language during the whole last year
does not show a steady balanced view and your remark about
"how things could be, if he would have found a woman like Victoria"
and a lot of other remarks who have done in the past
actually show that you do have negative feelings towards Mary (not against her new haircut though)
and Frederik as well (unless he is having a good time with your favourite Victoria).

And yes, Ricarda...most things around F&M annoy me (Fred´s working ethics, their spending ethics, things like the Starmakers course, no genuine interest in a danish traditions etc. pp.) But as you have still no brain washing powder to offer, I can´t change anything about it.
But of course it would be nice, if the views on them would be more balanced...as it is e.g. with Maxima and Willem Alexander. There are not many, who either disapprove of them completely, nor ones, who really follow them very hard (I mean ppl apart from dutch ones, who seem to love them)
The problem, I´m freely admitting is for me also a bit, that the die-hard fans of F&M are defending everything. For example Fred´s working ethics (and here I really can only laugh, when ppl come with "working behind closed doors" or "Denmark being so wee") This is provoking so much, that I can even not deny, that I sometimes might have been harder, than I´d usually would have been in surroundings with more neutral opinions.
I´m also critcising my favourite Victoria. And strangely neither around her nor around her sister, as controversial discussions are led as around F&M (even though both parties, the sugars and the more mean-spirited imps seem to prefer their own boards these days)

BTW Ricarda...are you really coming from Vienna? If so I´d be pleasantly surprised (even though we are not agreeing on F&M) This sugar kind of spirit, one so doesn´t meet in Vienna usually. Most Viennese are either grouchy or very charming (but then with uterior motives) Usually only 6 year olds are showing sugar-like manners (Jöööö, schau ein Haserl ) So someone, who can show so much passion for a Royal couple is an interesting and very welcome change.
Well, maybe you are more at home on the Bahamas. Sun & sea is surely helping to get in better spirits...

 

[Ctejnoe]

This is just a sidenote to this discussion, that I'am not interested in participating in because it is solely based on conjecture on all sides...
But i find it amusing that people seem to think they've only been together 3 years...They've been married 3 years, sure, but they've been together around 7 years....
Anyway, happy debating!!!!!

 

[crm2317]

Maybe they just don't feel comfortable being affectionate in public and would rather share their intimate moments behind closed doors in their own home without the world watching.

 

[pumkin pie]

If pictures can’t be taken as a source to see an unhappy couple, then pictures cannot be taken as a source to see a happy couple. Which unfortunately is all we have got.

The fact that they are still married is a fairly small indicator of a working relationship. (A divorce however might just tip our lavish interpretations into a more definite direction). I’ve come up with four statements that I believe cover roughly the opinions on Mary and Frederik’s marriage in this thread. Can we make poll?

• Mary and Fred were happy and in love from the beginning on. They are still going strong, love each other and love their kids. JJJ

• Mary and Fred were happy and in love in the beginning. They hit a rough spot but will work through it since they got a solid foundation to rely on.JLJ

• Mary and Fred were happy and lovey-dovey while dating. They discovered shortly into the marriage that their expectations of life drift into opposite directions. They are dedicated to their kids but the love got lost along the way. JLL

• Mary and Fred married for the wrong reasons. Mary because she wanted to be a princess. Frederik wanted to please the country. They were never in love and are certainly not in love now. It’s all a big scam. LLL

 

[Little_star]

2. Those comments who were originally made to make CP Victoria look good
don't make her look too good in the end.
If she really was flirting with Frederik, as Se og Hoer claims
- "there usually is some truth in most rumours" -
then what should we think of her?

Having seen each other I thought they were both fairly flirty with each other. It didn't seem like 1 way traffic to me.

 

[Lena]

If pictures can’t be taken as a source to see an unhappy couple, then pictures cannot be taken as a source to see a happy couple. Which unfortunately is all we are left with.

The fact that they are still married is a fairly small indicator of a working relationship. (A divorce however might just tip our lavish interpretations into a more definite direction). I’ve come up with four statements that I believe cover roughly the opinions on Mary and Frederik’s marriage in this thread. Can we make poll?

• Mary and Fred were happy and in love from the beginning on. They are still going strong, love each other and love their kids. JJJ

• Mary and Fred were happy and in love in the beginning. They hit a rough spot but will work through it since they got a solid foundation to rely on.JLJ

• Mary and Fred were happy and lovey-dovey while dating. They discovered shortly into the marriage that their expectations of life drift into opposite directions. They are dedicated to their kids but the love got lost along the way. JLL

• Mary and Fred married for the wrong reasons. Mary because she wanted to be a princess. Frederik wanted to please the country. They were never in love and are certainly not in love now. It’s all a big scam. LLL

Good idea. You just have to PM to a mod here and they would install it. I´m though not so sure, if one can make that long sentences as option (?)

I´m agreeing...actually one also can´t judge, if they are happy. It´s maybe just nicer. But well...actually all this discussion is silly...so is Royal watching in general...esp. if it´s about ordinary aspects like their children and family life.
If one is taking "all human beings are equal" seriously, one could also start a forum on ones neighbours
But discussing Royals simply is a hell lot of fun, so why should one stop it. And a poll would make things even more interesting.

 

[GlitteringTiaras]

Before the discussions go any further, the Danish Mods., would like to remind everyone of a few things before making a comment.

Rules.

Yes, you should read them.

Sorry.​

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Just enjoy. Discuss. Have fun.


Mandy, Empress, Lasse Pedersen, Adry, and GT
The Danish Moderating Team

 

[dazzling]

Pictures at the hospital after Mary gave birth to little princess & was leaving, dont those tell you they are still in love or al least a happy couple? what about the pictures posing outside their house?
just to make it clear, i think pictures are not everything, they just capture things that people dont see, love, feelings etc are things that cant be photographed.

 

[MissSaga]

Oh I know I'm late but I would like to congratulate my very favourite couple on their 3rd wedding anniversary !

Two wonderfull children in only three years..

Their wedding moved me so much. It was the most beautiful I had ever seen, it was all so perfect. I wish Mary and Frederik many fantastic years, in the years to come, and even more children, hopefully !

I can't believe it's been three years already ..

 

[ysbel]

I think two kids in one and a half years is enough to dampen any romantically frisky feelings no matter how much a man and wife love each other. Even with fulltime help, two children under the age of 2 can be a bit much.

I would hazard a guess that Frederik felt comfortable flirting with Victoria because he knew that nothing would come of it and Victoria would be the last person to take things the wrong way. If he flirts with Mary, there may well be child number #3 in a few months and that may not be a welcome development for either of them.

 

[Lady Bluffton]

Fred and Vic are 2nd counsins for crying out loud. I think they have some serious chemistry and a great rapport, but I don't think either one of them were channeling romantic lovey-dovey feelings towards each other.

Seems to me that Mary and Fred should be happy -- no worries about being fired or dismissed from their jobs (i.e. job security), more than adequate income (no problems making ends meet), nice house and furnishings, household help, seemingly nice family members, and two cute, healthy kids.

Good grief, if only all of us were so lucky! I don't mind reading the gossipy stuff that's out and about, but I don't see a Charles and Diana scenario cooking under wraps with Fred and Mary.

 

[billie-jo]

i think every one should just leave mary and frederik
alone.
billie-jo

 

[Madame Royale]

The imaginations of some, I tell you...

 

[princess olga]

Maybe because in three years of marriage she has done a lot more than her husband??? Can that be so? Mary controlling, well IMO she seams to have a lot of strenght, naturalness, vigour, positive energy, she likes to be amoung people, she knows how to speak in public. We cannot say the same for Frederick.

agree here, that may be why I got that impression. That said, also in a scene in the documentary filmed before their marriage, there's a scene where Mary and Fred are in a car and Fred is playing around with some buttons on the dashboard of the car and Mary, half playfully and half serious (as I perceive it, maybe wrongly) says to him: what are you doing?! in a way that made me think: mmm. The other occasion was when they were in Australia with Cristian and Fred and Christian were playing outside on a trampoline. Mary came outside and basically ordered them to stop playing on the trampoline (I symphatize here though with a clearly protective mother!)
But again, you're right that it's probably my impression because FREd, to me, comes across as so laid back, anyone next to him might come across then as controlling maybe.

 

[princess olga]

Fred and Vic are 2nd counsins for crying out loud. ..

Well when we're talking about royals, that's hardly a valid argument, now is it! After all, half of these families married their very cousins for eons! (Case in point from our time: Queen Elizabeth married a distant cousin of hers).

But I do agree F&M probably are happy. Mary said in the time of their engagement that their union really was a 'connection of the mind' Which I always thought was, indeed., a sound base for a long-term union (because as we all know, looks don't exactly last). That comment is why I basically think these two will stick it out - they see eye to eye on a number of things and interests, which is fundamental.

That said, two young kids can and will spoil a lot, just for the fact they take up so much of their parents' energy and time. Just the way it is. Here's hoping that laid-back Fred will at least try to do his all to help alleviate Mary from some parental duties!

 

[denice]

Geez.....happy 3rd Anniversary...oh by the way the magic is finished and they are unhappy. All based on a few pictures. I don't understand all these negative thoughts about them.

 

[Madame Royale]

Mary came outside and basically ordered them to stop playing on the trampoline (I symphatize here though with a clearly protective mother!)

That's an assumption made on your part though, princess olga. You are not aware what was discussed or the reason why Frederik, Christian and his cousins went back inside. You assume because Mary went out, that she ordered them back in. Could have she not quite as easily ventured out to tell Frederik his cup of tea is ready? Why, it's certainly possible Mary informed Frederik they weren't the only ones enjoying the fresh air (given his back was turned), I do think it's safe to say that Frederik, as an adult and father can decide whether or not he felt the situation to be something of a concern and in doing so, opted to take his child and nieces indoors.

 

[princess olga]

And one other thing I actually wonder: What does Mary now think of Denmark and living there now she's been there for three years? Does she like it? Has she spoken about this? What is the Danes' impression on this? Does Mary feel at home in her new country?

I remember Alexandra saying the first 4 years in DK she felt utterly lost, didn't understand the system and felt like a five-year-old trying to understand her environment. And that this was the reason behind her waiting half a decade to have kids! She felt too immature within her new country, to start a family! Wonder how this all is for Mary.

 

[princess olga]

That's an assumption made on your part though, princess olga. You are not aware what was discussed or the reason why Frederik, Christian and his cousins went back isnide. You assume because Mary went out, that she ordered them back in. Why it's certainly possible Mary informed Frederik they weren't the only ones enjoying the fresh air (given his back was turned), I do think it's safe to say that Frederik, as an adult and father can decide whether or not he felt the situation to be something of a concern and in doing so, opted to take his child and nieces indoors.

you're absolutely right that that was my assumption. but I based it on the expressions of the faces on those pictures: Mary with a decided look on her face after leaving Fred behind on the trampoline with a what I thought was a defeated look on his face...she seemed to have done what I would have done in her place: tell her husband an infant has no place on a trampoline. And you're right, I am projecting my own thoughts onto these people here but again, the expressions on their faces on those pictures seemed to tell the story!

 

[Madame Royale]

you're absolutely right that that was my assumption. but I based it on the expressions of the faces on those pictures: Mary with a decided look on her face after leaving Fred behind on the trampoline with a what I thought was a defeated look on his face...she seemed to have done what I would have done in her place: tell her husband an infant has no place on a trampoline. And you're right, I am projecting my own thoughts onto these people here but again, the expressions on their faces on those pictures seemed to tell the story!

Of course, your interpretation but not necessarily 'the' story.

If Frederik were bouncing his toddler son on the trampoline then maybe, but I dont recall seeing Christian 'airborne' so I dont see what the issue would be. He was supervised by his father at all times.