Engagement of Prince William to Catherine Middleton: November 16, 2010


If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Status
Not open for further replies.
William wants a woman who will look after him the way Diana and Tiggy did as he was growing up and Kate has been that woman since he was 20. He has even added to that idea by giving her his mother's engagement ring (will it ever truly be Kate's engagement ring? Not to me or to many others unfortunately for her) so that signals again that he wants a 'mummy' figure as much as a wife.

I couldn't resist smiling and replying to this. As a happily married woman of more than two decades and the mother of sons, this is the normal male condition, in my opinion. I can't imagine why William would necessarily be any different.:)

The engagement ring's another thing and we'll have to agree to disagree. It's common practice in many families. I think it an endearing gesture.
 
I couldn't resist smiling and replying to this. As a happily married woman of more than two decades and the mother of sons, this is the normal male condition, in my opinion. I can't imagine why William would necessarily be any different.:)

The engagement ring's another thing and we'll have to agree to disagree. It's common practice in many families. I think it an endearing gesture.

Hello, Polly! :flowers: I recall having read a lot of posts by you (when I was not yet a member but a reader) and always enjoyed them as they so much correlated to your avatar!

I'm in with you for that. That's how men prefer their life at home and even though some react strangely though because of reasons of their own (love, anybody?) most men like to have a comfortable life at home. Which doesn't necessary reduce their wives to "doormats" - for there is a certain charm in cuddling as long as you know you will be cuddled yourself, and loved, and treasured and laughed with and delighted once you need your own cuddling.

As for the ring: William surely knew that this ring would turn up in the media - one way or the other. So this is a kind of catastrophy management in my opinion. Plus it allowed him to take control on introducing the Diana spectre into the public attention of this wedding to come.

If I was in his shoes, I would have talked that over with Catherine and asked her to accept that ring like she will have to accept all kinds of jewels with a Royal history attached to it and then given her another one in private. After all he has the right to shower his finacee with gifts and who is to know what's between the two of them?
 
Last edited:
Why - the armchair psychology is a fun part of it - why did he chose her or her him is a valid discussion point.

Is it love or fear?

Having experienced the disaster of his parents' marriage is he afraid to let her go or does he really love her? Does he even know what love is (as his father famously said in 1981).

I found that aspect of things far more interesting than endless discussion of a possible dress to be worn or a tiara that she might be given.

If you don't wish to participate that is your right but if I wish to get involved in a discussion on armchair psychology and others wish to join me why shouldn't we?

I don't think it's a good idea to dwell on future problems in William and Kate's marriage during their engagement. Sometimes I was skeptical about their relationship, especially because it took them SO LONG to get engaged, but...watching their interview together, I do believe they both genuinely care for each other.

That being said, I like armchair psychology in moderation. Some people like to speculate on Kate's dress and the choice of bridesmaids, other people like to speculate on the reasons William chose Kate as a bride. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's interesting to me to speculate on the reasons why people choose their partners. Wondering about the reasons why William chose Kate (Catherine) doesn't mean I'm assuming he chose her for the wrong reasons--just that I'm curious about what his reasons were.

Also, William does have a traumatic past--his parents divorced, his mother died, and his father remarried his mistress. Now he has chosen to give his bride his mother's engagement ring. The comparison between Kate and Tiggy was (IMHO) another example of Daily Mail nonsense. But I do think that William's past would affect his choices. He met Kate 4 or 5 years after his mother died, so who's to say that his Diana's death didn't affect William subconsciously when he fell for Kate?
 
[QUOTE

The engagement ring's another thing and we'll have to agree to disagree. It's common practice in many families. I think it an endearing gesture.[/QUOTE]

I agree, many of my friends were given their fiancee's grandmother or great-grandmother's ring for their own engagement ring. It will then be passed on down the line. A few times the setting were changed but the stones were there. On their first wedding anniversary, the husband sometimes presents his wife with her own special ring that they both pick out together. A lovely tradition. I wasn't that lucky as neither of us had "family" rings -- but we still pass down grandparents wedding bands and all the other jewelry accumulated through time! I love the stories that goes with all the jewelry -- like "Oh that was a pin that my father's great-grandmother received on her 16 birthday!" Special.
 
Last edited:
^she didn't earlier, and i don't think she will now, but she chose this. it suits her. she must be determined to make this relationship work, and seems to me to be a very willing partner. William would have had a hard time finding another like her:)
 
^she didn't earlier, and i don't think she will now, but she chose this. it suits her. she must be determined to make this relationship work, and seems to me to be a very willing partner. William would have had a hard time finding another like her:)

See, that is something that baffles me. As a proud independent woman, I could never sacrifice my identity while having a relationship with a man. Personally, I think by doing so, Kate has sent the woman's movement back 60 years. Sorry to be frank, but that's my belief. That is why I am hoping she develops her own identity once she marries William.
 
I read that Kate attended a Catholic school as a young girl. Is she Catholic?
 
The criticisms of Kate/Catherine continue...thought I have to admit, I still wonder if she will have a separate identity now from William's.

Kate Middleton Has No Identity Of Her Own Not Down To Earth Royal Prince William Marriage Engagement Princess Children Wedding

I've just read this article and think it presumptuous. They, like most of us, know nothing, really, and can only surmise. To assume that Catherine didn't do a proper job of work in her parent's business is somewhat offensive: my children have worked for and with their father from time to time and by golly, they earned their money. There are no slackers in this family and given the Middleton's business success from a base of zilch, I think that it's safe to assume that they're professional in their expectations, too. From the little which I know, Catherine returned home to live and work to escape the press, which I thought most sensible.

And, of course, most of the spouses in the BRF work in the family business to some extent or t'other, not to mention HM's own children, to some extent or t'other.

Nor can I believe that a well educated woman in today's world will suffer any serious identity crisis. Why would she? Necessarily her life and profile will be inextricably bound to her husband's but that's true of most married couples, not just princes and princesses. Much the same sort of presumptions were made of CP Mary whose royal 'career' I've followed, and they were entirely wrong, too.

To me, such comments are merely sour reflections on royalty, generally. In future, we'll have an opportunity to see Princess Catherine flourish and assess how well she's suited to her role in which, given her long relationship with William and intimate knowledge of his royal duties and expectations, I'm confident will be a success. She most certainly won't be another Diana, but should we expect her to be? As William said:

"No one is trying to fill my mother’s shoes. What she did is fantastic. It’s about making your own future and your own destiny, and Kate will do a very good job of that.”

As he knows her best of all, I'm inclined to believe him.
 
See, that is something that baffles me. As a proud independent woman, I could never sacrifice my identity while having a relationship with a man. Personally, I think by doing so, Kate has sent the woman's movement back 60 years. Sorry to be frank, but that's my belief. That is why I am hoping she develops her own identity once she marries William.

Are you saying that Catherine gave up her own identity by accepting Diana's engagement ring?
 
I read that Kate attended a Catholic school as a young girl. Is she Catholic?


Clearly not if her and William are getting married. Besides, you don't have be Catholic to attend a Catholic school. I went to one and a good majority of my friends were decidedly not Catholics. Basically, if you can pay the tuition and book fees, they don't care what you are.
 
Are you saying that Catherine gave up her own identity by accepting Diana's engagement ring?

No. If you saw the article I posted, you would've known what I meant. Which is, Catherine's identity is tied to William's, and has been since they began dating.
 
"No one is trying to fill my mother’s shoes. What she did is fantastic. It’s about making your own future and your own destiny, and Kate will do a very good job of that.”

As he knows her best of all, I'm inclined to believe him.


Honestly, I'm convinced that there are people who will never be happy unless William marries no one at all, because if it's not Kate and it's someone else instead, they'll still find reasons to curse and doom their marriage before they've even taken their vows. I don't get it. They haven't even set a date and already people are speculating it won't last, she's a gold digger, she has no identity, she wants to be his mother........it's maddening. While I grant that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this that or the other, shouldn't said opinions have some basis in reality?
 
No. If you saw the article I posted, you would've known what I meant. Which is, Catherine's identity is tied to William's, and has been since they began dating.

I read the article and agree with Polly, it's presumptuous and exaggerated. Point is, we don't know Catherine apart from William, so it doesn't make sense to me to say that she doesn't have her own identity.
I doubt William would have fallen in love with her if she wouldn't have an identity or personality.

Losing your identity once in a relationship only happens when you don't guard who you are.
 
Honestly, I'm convinced that there are people who will never be happy unless William marries no one at all, because if it's not Kate and it's someone else instead, they'll still find reasons to curse and doom their marriage before they've even taken their vows. I don't get it. They haven't even set a date and already people are speculating it won't last, she's a gold digger, she has no identity, she wants to be his mother........it's maddening. While I grant that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this that or the other, shouldn't said opinions have some basis in reality?

I agree and I was stunned to read some posts on this forum that mention what you say.
Some people always seem to find fault with someone, no matter where they have to look for it. I think some people really are narrow-minded and sad.
 
Honestly, I'm convinced that there are people who will never be happy unless William marries no one at all, because if it's not Kate and it's someone else instead, they'll still find reasons to curse and doom their marriage before they've even taken their vows. I don't get it. They haven't even set a date and already people are speculating it won't last, she's a gold digger, she has no identity, she wants to be his mother........it's maddening. While I grant that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on this that or the other, shouldn't said opinions have some basis in reality?

I'm not hoping for a doomed marriage; I am hoping for the best.

I think my problem is I've known some guys who want to dominate and control their women, and the women allow it and lose their identities. I guess I overreact whenever I read about Catherine not having an identity of her own because of what I have experienced from men.
 
I'm not hoping for a doomed marriage; I am hoping for the best.

I think my problem is I've known some guys who want to dominate and control their women, and the women allow it and lose their identities. I guess I overreact whenever I read about Catherine not having an identity of her own because of what I have experienced from men.

It's important to realize that 90% or more of what we are hearing is just speculation by the media to try to sell newspapers/magazines/news shows, etc. Who says Catherine has lost her identity? Who is in a position to say that? Her best friend, her sister, her mother, her fiance. I haven't heard that any of these people has said she has lost her identity. Some journalist saying it means nothing.
 
Miss Catherine has not lost an identity; she has gained an identity. She now has two identities - public and private. I have no doubt she'll do a good job with the former and hope she has a satisfying latter.

P.S. Initially I was disappointed with the ring, but I'm over it now and want them to be the best they can be.
 
I've just read this article and think it presumptuous. They, like most of us, know nothing, really, and can only surmise. To assume that Catherine didn't do a proper job of work in her parent's business is somewhat offensive: my children have worked for and with their father from time to time and by golly, they earned their money. There are no slackers in this family and given the Middleton's business success from a base of zilch, I think that it's safe to assume that they're professional in their expectations, too. From the little which I know, Catherine returned home to live and work to escape the press, which I thought most sensible.

And, of course, most of the spouses in the BRF work in the family business to some extent or t'other, not to mention HM's own children, to some extent or t'other.

Nor can I believe that a well educated woman in today's world will suffer any serious identity crisis. Why would she? Necessarily her life and profile will be inextricably bound to her husband's but that's true of most married couples, not just princes and princesses. Much the same sort of presumptions were made of CP Mary whose royal 'career' I've followed, and they were entirely wrong, too.

To me, such comments are merely sour reflections on royalty, generally. In future, we'll have an opportunity to see Princess Catherine flourish and assess how well she's suited to her role in which, given her long relationship with William and intimate knowledge of his royal duties and expectations, I'm confident will be a success. She most certainly won't be another Diana, but should we expect her to be? As William said:

"No one is trying to fill my mother’s shoes. What she did is fantastic. It’s about making your own future and your own destiny, and Kate will do a very good job of that.”

As he knows her best of all, I'm inclined to believe him.

Well you can lose your identity or not know it even in these modern times. But I do agree with you. I tried to read that article and couldn't finish. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but what annoys me is when opinion is taken as fact. And the person giving the opinion wants to pretend he or she knows the subject. First Catherine is a Diana clone, then it's the nanny Tiggy. Her every move or outfit is called horrible. She apparently also has no interests. lol It's kind of weird to read this stuff. I don't know any of these people but I can't presume to think that Kate has no interests or desires and no identity.
 
I don't think William would still be with her if she didn't have spunk and personality. I imagine she can be quite lively and is clearly intelligent.

She has only ever been presented to us as William's girlfriend so her public identity is of course defined by him. I imagine the dynamics in private are that of a normal couple that has been going out for a long time.

I am certain she has interests, even if they are graphic arts, photography and the gymn. We have no idea what her interests and hobbies are and I could care less, William clearly knows she has substance.
 
Like William, I was a teenager when I lost my mother. I have attended many services at the same church that held her funeral and I have not had a problem with it. In fact, I've never associated that church with the sadness of her death.

In the same way, I am sure William has had plenty of opportunity to attend services of thanksgiving at Westminster Abbey since 1997. I have my doubts that he does not feel comfortable having a wedding there because his mother's funeral was there.

On a different note, I have heard that there will not be horse-drawn carriages due to Kate Middleton's allergy to horses. I am sad since I love seeing those historic carriages, but it also makes me wonder how Kate will be accommodated at events like Trooping of the Colours.
 
Like William, I was a teenager when I lost my mother. I have attended many services at the same church that held her funeral and I have not had a problem with it. In fact, I've never associated that church with the sadness of her death.


My mother died two years ago, her services were at the church we have gone to since I was 12. I was married there. My daughter Christened there but still to this day I have not walked back into that church. Everyone is diffrent, Williams famliy has hundrads of years of history with that church so it may be diffrent for him.
 
Last edited:
Like William, I was a teenager when I lost my mother. I have attended many services at the same church that held her funeral and I have not had a problem with it. In fact, I've never associated that church with the sadness of her death.

In the same way, I am sure William has had plenty of opportunity to attend services of thanksgiving at Westminster Abbey since 1997. I have my doubts that he does not feel comfortable having a wedding there because his mother's funeral was there.

On a different note, I have heard that there will not be horse-drawn carriages due to Kate Middleton's allergy to horses. I am sad since I love seeing those historic carriages, but it also makes me wonder how Kate will be accommodated at events like Trooping of the Colours.


Maybe she won't be attending them or again horses out and cars in. She might simply appear on the balcony for instance but not travel through the streets. Cars are also greater for safety and in these terrorist ridden times make more sense.
 
^ She can take something for her allergies. I'm sure there's some sort of medication that she can take.
 
Saying there will be no carriages because of her allergy is ridiculous! She goes to Williams polo games without a problem. If anything they'll use only closed carriages...
 
See, that is something that baffles me. As a proud independent woman, I could never sacrifice my identity while having a relationship with a man. Personally, I think by doing so, Kate has sent the woman's movement back 60 years. Sorry to be frank, but that's my belief. That is why I am hoping she develops her own identity once she marries William.

Kate did that? And to think at 28 years of age she caused that by getting engaged to a man. Fascinating power she has there. "Yes, I will marry you William!" **POOF** There goes 60 years of women's lib!

I would hate to think what will happen when she says her vows. :eek: I better get on line and start searching for a chastity belt. :whistling:





,
 
On a different note, I have heard that there will not be horse-drawn carriages due to Kate Middleton's allergy to horses. I am sad since I love seeing those historic carriages, but it also makes me wonder how Kate will be accommodated at events like Trooping of the Colours.

Where did you see that? I never understood horse allergies, but since she won't be sitting on a horse, I can't imagine why this would be an issue. I will say she better find a way to deal with it since the Queen and Princess Anne are avid horse lovers. Not to mention Charles, William and Harry are avid polo players.
 
Kate did that? And to think at 28 years of age she caused that by getting engaged to a man. Fascinating power she has there. "Yes, I will marry you William!" **POOF** There goes 60 years of women's lib!

I would hate to think what will happen when she says her vows. :eek: I better get on line and start searching for a chastity belt. :whistling:


,

You misread what I meant. I thought Kate had given up her sense of self by having her life surround William. To me, that is not healthy for a woman.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom