The Prince of Wales & The Duchess of Cornwall visit Denmark: March 24-27, 2012

[Tyger]

Originally Posted by miche

You presented it as a fact like it was backed by research of something

Perhaps because I am in a career - for the last 30 years - in which I deal with children (of all ages) on a daily basis. However, that does not make me an 'authority', of course. I was simply giving my opinion. Potentially some of this is rooted in culture, and time. Maybe.

I'm willing to hear that its seen differently in other parts.

[COUNTESS]

Princess Diana bent down on many occassions and she was loved by children. Children respond to the kindness and actual warmth of a person, not their stance.

[sthreats]

I don't understand your remark. Princess Mary was going thru a receiving line of kids. She stopped smiled and talked. I have seen Many pictures of Camilla and the Queen standing upright when with a group of kids. The time to stoop and bend is with one on one or small group interactions.

This may not apply to your remarks but I find the tone of this thread very negative and the negativity seems to be directed to Princess Mary. I am new to this thread (I have been reviewing my Scandanavian history this week). I don't see anything horrible that she's done. She is very pretty and seems (on Googl) to be doing her job.

It has been negative nitpicking by multiple members since this leg of the trip started. We all have our favorites but "can't we all just get along"

[CrownPrincess5]

Originally Posted by COUNTESS

Princess Diana bent down on many occassions and she was loved by children. Children respond to the kindness and actual warmth of a person, not their stance.

True and Diana had that special something that just connected her in a unique way to others. Mary is not as charismatic as Diana, but that may just be who she is publicly. I don't think anything was wrong with Mary not bending down.

Didn't she have a really short skirt on? Perhaps she was afraid the wind would make it fly over her head.

But I must say. The Swedish leg of the tour was much more relaxed. You could tell the BF and SF are good friends.

[Tyger]

Originally Posted by CrownPrincess5

I don't think anything was wrong with Mary not bending down.

I agree. I was commending her for how she was addressing the children. I wince when I see adults bend down to children as though getting 'on their level'. I think its just inexperience that prompts the gesture. But that's just my opinion.

[CrownPrincess5]

Originally Posted by Tyger

What? I agree. I was commending her for how she was addressing the children. I wince when I see adults bend down to children as though getting 'on their level'. I think its just inexperience that prompts the gesture. But that's just my opinion.

You have to get on their level! I'm the opposite I think it's commendable when an adult takes the time to come down to a child's level. Children respond to you when you respond to them. I'm oftentimes surprised by what I learn from a child just by bending down and looking them directly in the eyes.

[Tyger]

Originally Posted by CrownPrincess5

You have to get on their level! I'm the opposite I think it's commendable when an adult takes the time to come down to a child's level. Children respond to you when you respond to them. I'm oftentimessurprised by what I learn from a child when I take the time to come down to their level.

Please don't take offense. Its just a point of view not meant to be personal. Its rooted in what I know of children and my experience - but in saying it, I do not discount your or anyone else's experience or opinion on the matter.

For me, watching someone crouch down to speak to a child in a formal situation - with no previous acquaintance of the child - is intrusive and presuming. This is perhaps a new idea - but children are really under our power - and whether they really want to interact or not is taken away when we presume too much familiarity with a child we do not know.

[Kataryn]

Originally Posted by Tyger

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For me, watching someone crouch down to speak to a child in a formal situation - with no previous acquaintance of the child - is intrusive and presuming. This is perhaps a new idea - but children are really under our power - and whether they really want to interact or not is taken away when we presume too much familiarity with a child we do not know.

But the children go there because they want to see real life princesses and queens. They want to be greeted and talked to by them.

[Viv]

Originally Posted by Tyger

I was commending her for how she was addressing the children. I wince when I see adults bend down to children as though getting 'on their level'. I think its just inexperience that prompts the gesture. But that's just my opinion.

IMO Tyger has a valid point, but again- a lot depends on the situation! I've seen several children being intimidated by strangers bending down to talk with them! Many kids don't like these 'unsollicited' contacts!
If you take them to see princesses and stuff, they might venture a bit out of their comfort zone, because they've been prepared for it!

viv

[ricarda]

It totally depends on the situation and the child.
I once saw Mary in real life. It was in front of a nursery she was visiting. A group of small children was waiting outside to greet her. Mary did bend down (EDIT: Actually, she hunkered down. Sorry, my English.) and talked with the children "on their level" and the children clearly loved it, one of them almost jumped on Mary (there definitely was an immidiate connection ), another one seemed more "on guard"...
But of course those children were "prepared" to meet a princess/unknown person.
In other situations it might be totally out of place and intimitating for the child.

[Muhler]

An absolutely delightful video from Billed Bladet Billed-Bladet - Video: Ruth mødte kronprins Frederik og prins Charles

About a Ruth Døhring, who had been selected from among the residents in Gyldenriisparken to meet Charles and Frederik. There is an activity centre for elderly there and she is among the users.
At first she wasn't keen at all! She didn't think her English is good enough. But she promised she would think about it and then she was trapped.
And as she observed, well, she only intended to say "welcome" - And then he would quickly move on to the next, as she put it.
Ruth Døhring observed with a wry smile that the Princes would arrive at Gyldenriisparken at 10.00 and they were supposed to be at the Avedøre heating plant at 11.00, so there wouldn't be much time anyway. - Not many illusions there.

Afterwards Ruth Døhring said that it all went very well. It was over just as fast as she had expected. But she did shake the hands of both Princes. Frederik asked her: "Do you also have Wii"? (*) Ruth Døhring replied: "Yes. Won't you (formal you) play along"? Frederik said: "No, I've got it at home". Ruth goes on: "And the other one (Charles) that was also saying good day (formal greeting), nice to meet you, and then that was over. So now we can breathe". A wonderful lady.
Q: How do you (informal you) think the two Princes were as persons?
Ruth: "Very, very straightforward, if I may put it like that. And that was good. I'm glad I had the experience".

(*) Wii is used in many activity centres for elderly as well as regular retirement homes as a part of the physical theraphy.

[EIIR]

I don't know if bending down to kids' level is the best way to do it or not. No two children are the same. Sometimes kids look petrified of royals and on other occasions it's the exact opposite - like the time a little girl of about 2 demanded that Charles lift her up in his arms so she could have a birds eye view of what he was looking at. Needless to say Charles did as he was told and gave her a lift around the room.

It would be tough to expect the older royals to bend down to children's level when meeting them.

[maria-olivia]

Very successful Royal Visit in the 3 Scandinavian Countries. I am sure The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of C enjoyed their visit .

[IloveCP]

The Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor: Random Royal Appreciation: Charles and Camilla in Sweden and Denmark

I enjoyed seeing the pictures from the tour.A lot of them amused me!

[Al_bina]

Spletnik -Prince Charles and Duchess of Cornwall in Denmark: pistols and sweaters

[camelot23ca]

Originally Posted by Viv

IMO Tyger has a valid point, but again- a lot depends on the situation! I've seen several children being intimidated by strangers bending down to talk with them! Many kids don't like these 'unsollicited' contacts!
If you take them to see princesses and stuff, they might venture a bit out of their comfort zone, because they've been prepared for it!

viv

I've noticed most of the younger generation of princesses kneel/crouch/bend, etc. when talking to children and it always seems awkward and unnecessary to me. They're kids - they're used to being short!

[MARG]

I don't mind them crouching or kneeling in front of a child, but I do not like them invading a child's personal space, especially for a photo op. I cannot think of anything worse than some strange adult getting right in my face with myriad camera flashes going off.

It must be scary as hell when the people that are supposed to look after you are standing there looking like a bunch of blissed out stunned mullets while strangers loom in your face. . . well what's a child to do? Just give the posy or flag and hope they go away soon.

[Baroness of Books]

Like everything else, I would guess how a royal interacts with children depends on the situation. If a child looks fearful or hesitant and just wants to hand the bouquet to a royal and back off, or seems reluctant to interact with him/her, the last thing is to try to stop the child, or crouch down and attempt to invade their space. But when you have a child who is smiling and seems excited to be there, calling your name, trying to get your attention, then that's a different story. I would think, though, that bending down to a child, without encroaching upon their personal space, so he/she doesn't have a long distance to look up at you is courteous and doesn't present yourself as the overpowering, authoritative adult.

The one indelible image that always stays in my mind is seeing that little girl, Diamond, who was a cancer patient giving Kate a bouquet that windy day at an airport in Canada. She just thrust it in her hands, quickly backed off and retreated, but then turned around and threw herself in Kate's arms. She did that of her own initiative and accord, obviously overcoming her extreme shyness and perhaps awe, so you just don't know how children will react.

[Tyger]

Originally Posted by EIIR

I don't know if bending down to kids' level is the best way to do it or not. No two children are the same. Sometimes kids look petrified of royals and on other occasions it's the exact opposite - like the time a little girl of about 2 demanded that Charles lift her up in his arms so she could have a birds eye view of what he was looking at. Needless to say Charles did as he was told and gave her a lift around the room.

It would be tough to expect the older royals to bend down to children's level when meeting them.

Well, there you have it. It's not a hard and fast rule - of course not. Just in general having an adult face suddenly hovering inches away is not the kind of contact a child is fancying - and its difficult to watch a young royal misgauge the receptiveness of a child and then not to know what to do when things unravel a bit - which I've been seeing with one young royal (not Mary). Its a simple lack of experience and not a reflection on them in a personal way at all.

What's happening, I think, is that its considered 'cute' to have a princess interact with kids - not for any reason other than its good PR and a good photo-op. But I think its an area that I think should be handled gingerly - for a host of reasons. Best to stay upright and regal - a distant glory - that's plenty enough - and when the occasional extrovert child veers into view, take them up on it.

Originally Posted by camelot23ca

I've noticed most of the younger generation of princesses kneel/crouch/bend, etc. when talking to children and it always seems awkward and unnecessary to me. They're kids - they're used to being short!

Yes, exactly. The act of coming down to them is an intimate gesture. Its a matter of degree. We all know the baby gurgling and happy at one distance and aghast and crying at closer quarters.

Originally Posted by MARG

I don't mind them crouching or kneeling in front of a child, but I do not like them invading a child's personal space, especially for a photo op. I cannot think of anything worse than some strange adult getting right in my face with myriad camera flashes going off.

It must be scary as hell when the people that are supposed to look after you are standing there looking like a bunch of blissed out stunned mullets while strangers loom in your face. . . well what's a child to do? Just give the posy or flag and hope they go away soon.

You have said it well - and who I feel sorry for is the young woman who has been convinced by someone or by herself that it is the way to go. I just feel for her. I've seen one young royal get into a pickle about twice and its so uncomfortable to watch because she doesn't know when to cut her losses and move on. I wish someone would talk to her and clue her in. (Once she's a mother and she gains some experience in that way I think it will get normailzed - maybe). It would save her a lot of dodgy moments if she weren't so aggressive. I think there is this thought that it 'proves' something about someone - good with children - when it really doesn't. Children - like kittens and puppies - can like ax murderers - its not a litmus test of worthiness or of good character.

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I have never seen any Princess encroaching an a child's personal space. All I have seen is a tall woman bending down to a child's level so they won't feel so intimidated. Most stay back and wait for the child to come to them. It's a similar thing I see teachers and child care professionals do.