Relationships between the Members of the Danish Royal Family

[Emmily]

In the videos I saw they looked at each other and talked to each other.
To me Mary didn't look as relaxed as the others but then she had to take care of 4 children under 6. And IMO she generally doesn't appear relaxed in front of cameras (unlike e.g. Marie).
Since 2005 we can read "something isn't quite right with that couple" and, honestly, I am getting tired of it. I am sure there have been ups and downs as in every relationship but I simply don't share your feelings and observations. E.g. I think their happy and confident children, Christian and Isabella, tell a different story.

I agree with this. Isabella has a very outgoing personality, to say the least, and Mary at times looked a little frazzled trying to keep her still for the cameras If there is tension between M & F would that really be surprising? No matter how happy you are with a new baby there is still upheaval until you figure out what the new normal is for your family. I can't even imagine dealing with two new babies! You just get pulled in so many directions. And yes, I know, she has help. But Mary seems very much a hands on parent, and Fred seems that way too. I think these two are fine.

 

[Zonk]

Not everyone is affectionate in public and as previously stated, when you have four kids and you are doing a photo call ...your attention can be easily diverted by a child. And while I enjoy the interaction between the newlywed Victoria and Daniel (congrats on the baby announcement) the first day they don't hold hands in public or smile at each other ----- we will hear....are Victoria and Daniel okay? So sometimes it pays to keep your emotions to yourself.

Add to this the pressure of knowing that everything you do is being watched and analyzed. Did they speak, smile at each other, hold hands, etc. Every marriage has it challenges without having to worry your actions being interpreted by someone other than your husband.

As to the comments about Joachim and Benedikte not receiving a lot of attention....I am afraid that's the way it is folks. As the heir marries, and have kids the focus on the royal families is not so much on his siblings but his family as they are the future of the family. While its not cool for the likes of us, as we have our own personal favorites (mine are the Gloucesters but you wouldn't know they attended William and Kate's wedding) and we miss coverage of them...it happens everywhere. It happened in England, Spain, Netherlands, etc. Frederick, Mary, Christian, Isabella, Vincent and Josephine are the future. 20 years from now...Felix will be getting married...and some people (not us of course) will be like...who is he? And someone might say, oh that's Queen Margrethe's grandson, or the nephew of King Frederick.

 

[IloveCP]

Yes,not everyone likes to show their affection in front of a lot of people.

 

[ricarda]

I agree that Marie is abit more relaxed but still no comparison to the Queen of the Relaxed, Maxima

Yes, the comparison with Maxima is indeed better. They are in similar positions and with more than 1 child.
I imagine Marie would look quite un-relaxed/stressed/overwhelmed if she would be in Mary's position.

 

[camelot23ca]

In the videos I saw they looked at each other and talked to each other.
To me Mary didn't look as relaxed as the others but then she had to take care of 4 children under 6. And IMO she generally doesn't appear relaxed in front of cameras (unlike e.g. Marie).
Since 2005 we can read "something isn't quite right with that couple" and, honestly, I am getting tired of it. I am sure there have been ups and downs as in every relationship but I simply don't share your feelings and observations. E.g. I think their happy and confident children, Christian and Isabella, tell a different story.

Mary's been described as a perfectionist by Frederik, (and by herself), and I can well believe it, and I also think that situations like these photocalls must be incredibly stressful for someone who is like that. There are so many variables beyond anyone's control, and so many cameras there to catch each and every one of them. Add to that Frederik seeming very laid back, IMO sometimes to a fault, and I can certainly understand why Mary never looks relaxed in these situations.

 

[greenways]

One last thing! Fred and Mary used to be demonstrative, smiling, chatting, just normal stuff, not any more. Children do add stress, but do not IMO, explain the change in their communication or perceived lack there of. Their behaviour towards each other has changed, no doubt in my mind. Yes, I do sympathize with constant scrutiny, they do live off the public purse, unlike myself.

 

[Zonk]

One last word! Fred and Mary USED to be very demonstrative, smiling, chatting, just bantering, normal stuff. Not now, that's all. And yes children add to stress but do not IMO, explain their change in communication, or perceived lack there of.

But the key point IMO is "that you know of."

I don't know what goes on in Fred and Mary's household, and unless we put them on a Big Brother reality show that has them on camera 24/7...you or anyone else here doesn't as well.

Just because we don't see them being demonstrative doesn't mean they aren't. It just means that they have changed (evolved or matured) how they act in public. Most couples that I know who have been together as long as Fred and Mary have (and longer actually) aren't as touchy feely as they were in the beginning. They don't talk 4 to 10 times a day on the phone like they used to (until one person falls asleep) maybe cause they live with each other now and they have the bedtimes rituals with kids to do. But these couples, have been known from time to time, hold hands, smile in a knowing way that couples do. IMO that kind of love, communication is better. Fire, passion, lust or whatever you call it can burn out quickly. A deep love, connection, companionship can last forever. And you don't have to act on it publicly to please everyone. Just enough to please your partner.

 

[greenways]

I agree with all you say. I said nothing about fire and passion, it's much more subtle than that. That's right, my opinion is perception, nothing more. That's all it can ever be about this couple, as I do not mix with them. In that way, we here are all on an equal footing, as far as I know!

 

[Viv]

I agree, to me it always seems that Mary is trying too hard to come across perfect, while Frederik in contrast is natural to the degree that people can see his feelings much better (good or bad).

The Queen said in 'Margrethe' - the 2006 biography that 'she thought that the transition to royal life had not been easy for Mary'. A mere hint, with the usual verbal reservations from HM! I agree that Mary does not appear to be ' a natural' royal on films and photos, however not having seen her 'in the flesh', she might make a different impression in a face to face situation.
I won't even try to speculate on why it is so, but maybe Mary's detractors should make a mental note of the fact that she doesn't seem to be as camera-happy as they think!

Excuse my going off on a tangent.. now back onto the track
viv

 

[Nordic]

The Queen said in 'Margrethe' - the 2006 biography that 'she thought that the transition to royal life had not been easy for Mary'. A mere hint, with the usual verbal reservations from HM! I agree that Mary does not appear to be ' a natural' royal on films and photos, however not having seen her 'in the flesh', she might make a different impression in a face to face situation.
viv

Mary herself has said that she is a bit shy and reserved. It can't have been easy for a person like that to enter royal life and all the attention and phtographers, but the Queen said what she said 5 years ago.

Mary also seems to have a very calm, serene personality and I think that is what comes across in most photos. Not that she isn't "natural".
I don't think you can compare her "presence" to people like Victoria, Maxima and even Marie, who have very different personalities.

I have never understood why some people think Mary loves the attention...
I have always thought it's something she doesn't necessarily like very much, but she has had to get used to it and live with it.

OT, sorry!

 

[Madame Royale]

The Crown Princely couple have nothing to prove.

Why should there be a need to publically express their love on a regular basis for all to see?

Are they so insecure in themselves, and in their marriage, that they need to demonstrate their affection for one another openly at every given chance, through a showcase of adoring glances and subtle touches?

Thankfully, no.

 

[greenways]

Once again, I'm not looking for adoring glances or subtle touches - just normal 'people' interaction. It's missing!

 

[Madame Royale]

Evidently we've been viewing different photo's, or, I'm just not dissecting the body language of people in a still photograph.

If that's what you believe you see, then it's your opinion and fair enough. I'm not wishing to prove you wrong.

Personally, I can't see how you'd draw the observations you have, but that's just me.

 

[MARG]

To me the kids look happy and outgoing and if things were tense at home I am sure they would show some signs. But it is impossible to gauge the depth or intensity of the passion of a couple from a snapshot or a 5 minute video.

Is Mary supposed to hang on Fred's arm like a simpering halfwit to prove she really "loves" him? Is Fred supposed to kiss her hand and grin witlessly to prove that he really "loves" her?

What signs and signals will satisfy the unreasonable and insensitive demand for "Proof of Love"?

Sometimes I dispair of my fellow man (or woman)!

 

[HRHHermione]

Once again, I'm not looking for adoring glances or subtle touches - just normal 'people' interaction. It's missing!

I'd wager they're very different in private. Look how fun and spontaneous their kids can be- Princess Isabella never fails to entertain.

No way is that child the product of a stiff environment without normal people interaction.

I don't blame Mary for being reserved in public. Having your every move followed in the press would be nerve wracking. A good poker face is a pretty big part of being a successful royal, methinks.

 

[greenways]

Don't despair for me, I'm not living in a war torn country or just lost a family member, we are only talking about photo's and interpretation of them. Just saw pics of the couple at a wedding last weekend, there was normal interaction, very happy about that, glad to be proven wrong.

 

[Juliette2]

Hi! Can someone point me to a discussion of the relationship between Joachim and Frederik? Do they get along? Somehow I don't think that they do very much...I bet this has been discussed here!

 

[Penny Royalty]

I like that people care about the Danish family. Something I want to say is that they seem normal to the naked eye. I think Mary and Fred are both used to being an answer for their homeland which involves the camera on and off. I think experience from generation to generation enables them to become natural at most of what they do publicly. From what I can see more power to them. They seem to have good intentions and it may show.

My inner most feeling is that they promote the country and have a good tangent. I hope they continue as an example. Whether through good and through bad, through right and wrong, they, like everyone, learn and can make life greater through nature/nurture. I have a feeling they do great and maybe it's owed to dedication and their ancestors. I hope we don't loose track of where we came from. I think we can learn from the way of life of before. Peace.

 

[American Dane]

Hi! Can someone point me to a discussion of the relationship between Joachim and Frederik? Do they get along? Somehow I don't think that they do very much...I bet this has been discussed here!

Hi Juliette2,

In a thread for the 2008 book 'Frederik' our Danish members go into detail what both Joachim and Frederik said about their relationship and why it cooled right after Joachim's divorce.
I think if you take a look for it, it'll answer a lot of your questions

 

[Nordic]

Just saw pics of the couple at a wedding last weekend, there was normal interaction, very happy about that, glad to be proven wrong.

Not that there hasn't been pics like that during these past months, but here's
a couple from yesterday just for you

Au sein du couple princier, la complicité est totale. Le prince Frederik de Danemark, son épouse
Picture details

 

[greenways]

Thanks Nordic, very nice photos.

 

[marta19pl]

Hi Juliette2,

In a thread for the 2008 book 'Frederik' our Danish members go into detail what both Joachim and Frederik said about their relationship and why it cooled right after Joachim's divorce.
I think if you take a look for it, it'll answer a lot of your questions

Could you write something about that???

 

[Lumutqueen]

Could you write something about that???

Here's the thread,
http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/f61/frederik-crown-prince-of-denmark-17134.html

 

[Juliette2]

Here's the thread,
http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/f61/frederik-crown-prince-of-denmark-17134.html

Thanks American Dane and Lumutqueen!!

 

[Grandduchess24]

So eveythings ok right between Joachim's wife and his ex right I just hope that Joachim and Alexandra divorced on good terms because I dont want to see a fight between Marie and Alexandra

 

[Muhler]

So eveythings ok right between Joachim's wife and his ex right I just hope that Joachim and Alexandra divorced on good terms because I dont want to see a fight between Marie and Alexandra

By all accounts they appear to have a good relationship. It doesn't look like our Marie has to be dragged kicking and screaming along, when they are visiting Alexandra in her home. - On the other hand, I don't think they are on the phone every month.
Joachim and Martin also appear to have a good relationship, perhaps helped by the fact that Nikolai and Felix obviously are very fond of him.

The only fights I think we are likely to see between Alexandra and Marie will take place in the gossip magazines.
La belle Marie after all come from a family that has divorced and remarried.

 

[Muhler]

From time to time you can read about a strained relationship between Mary and our Marie.
Well, judging from this pic Mary is either incredibly good at hiding her feelings - or they have a good relationship.
Is there cold air between the sisters-in-law - Nah, don't think so....jpg - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

 

[dazzling]

From time to time you can read about a strained relationship between Mary and our Marie.
Well, judging from this pic Mary is either incredibly good at hiding her feelings - or they have a good relationship.
Is there cold air between the sisters-in-law - Nah, don't think so....jpg - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

I have not seen one picture that looks like Mary and Marie have a strained relationship. All picture so far have seemed that they have a good relationship and do seem to be comfortable in each others presence.
Its interesting how sometimes stories like to write about things that don't have much proof to just to sell. Maybe they should back up their articles with facts :big grin:
Do these articles come out when Mary and Marie are attending the same event or randomly these stories come out?

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

I dont think there is any strain on the relationship Mary - Marie either. They are too different in personality and position. Mary is CP and loves the attention and everything that goes with it. Marie is the second wife of the second son and loves being Lady of the Manor in Schackenborg, doing what has to be done as Princess of Denmark but nothing more. I dont think they meet very often and if they do its fine, one certainly doesnt feel threatened by the other.

I can imagine that it would be quite different in case Alex was still in Marie's position this relationship clearly had the potential to become bitchy

 

[Muhler]

Do these articles come out when Mary and Marie are attending the same event or randomly these stories come out?

Randomly, I'd say.
The last story I recall was something about Mary having a bad relationship with Joachim and that was in a German mag.
The Australian mags used to be pretty imaginative as well but I haven't seen any "dramatic" headlines for some time. On the other hand you see fewer and fewer stories from Australian mags here on this forum.... So, who knows...
Or perhaps they are learning?
- Yeah, I believe in Santa Claus as well

I dont think there is any strain on the relationship Mary - Marie either. They are too different in personality and position. Mary is CP and loves the attention and everything that goes with it. Marie is the second wife of the second son and loves being Lady of the Manor in Schackenborg, doing what has to be done as Princess of Denmark but nothing more. I dont think they meet very often and if they do its fine, one certainly doesnt feel threatened by the other.

I can imagine that it would be quite different in case Alex was still in Marie's position this relationship clearly had the potential to become bitchy

You may have a point in the sense that Mary and Alexandra are more alike, IMO. They are both strongwilled women with a perfectionist streak, something at least Mary has admitted to. Which is probably why they are both labbeled "perfect princess" by so many. The main difference as I see it was that Alexandra continued the more conservative line of the DRF back then in 1990's, while Mary (followed by Frederik) opened things up and made the DRF more approachable.
Would an Alexandra, still in place, have curbed Mary's approach during the first couple of years? Who knows? Now she ended up having the stage to herself, so she could do things her way, instead of looking at a more experienced sister-in-law. - It worked.
I'm not sure either they would have been close, they are too much alike. I believe it more likely they would have ended up deeply respecting each other.

Our Marie is another matter, she entered the field when Mary was established and I too doubt she ever had any ambitions about competing with Mary. She's simply Marie and what you see is what you get, for good or for worse.
Mary and Alexandra will never be caught unprepared at an event - that could happen to Marie. But she would simply laugh it off I think - and get completely away with it!

Mary and Marie is a great combination, because they are so different. They appeal both to different segments of the population but also to different sides of people in general (that's what they do to me).
The combination Mary and Alexandra would, I fear, have lead to constant comparisons because they are more alike.

The same thing applies to Frederik and Joachim. Joachim's more conservative and correct approach versus Frederik's more folksy appeal and easygoing manner. A good combination.