Relationships between the Members of the Danish Royal Family

[greenways]

Thanks Nordic, very nice photos.

[marta19pl]

Originally Posted by American Dane

Hi Juliette2,

In a thread for the 2008 book 'Frederik' our Danish members go into detail what both Joachim and Frederik said about their relationship and why it cooled right after Joachim's divorce.
I think if you take a look for it, it'll answer a lot of your questions

Could you write something about that???

[Lumutqueen]

Originally Posted by marta19pl

Could you write something about that???

Here's the thread,
http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums...ark-17134.html

[Juliette2]

Originally Posted by Lumutqueen

Here's the thread,
http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums...ark-17134.html

Thanks American Dane and Lumutqueen!!

[Grandduchess24]

So eveythings ok right between Joachim's wife and his ex right I just hope that Joachim and Alexandra divorced on good terms because I dont want to see a fight between Marie and Alexandra

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by Grandduchess24

So eveythings ok right between Joachim's wife and his ex right I just hope that Joachim and Alexandra divorced on good terms because I dont want to see a fight between Marie and Alexandra

By all accounts they appear to have a good relationship. It doesn't look like our Marie has to be dragged kicking and screaming along, when they are visiting Alexandra in her home. - On the other hand, I don't think they are on the phone every month.
Joachim and Martin also appear to have a good relationship, perhaps helped by the fact that Nikolai and Felix obviously are very fond of him.

The only fights I think we are likely to see between Alexandra and Marie will take place in the gossip magazines.
La belle Marie after all come from a family that has divorced and remarried.

[Muhler]

From time to time you can read about a strained relationship between Mary and our Marie.
Well, judging from this pic Mary is either incredibly good at hiding her feelings - or they have a good relationship.
Is there cold air between the sisters-in-law - Nah, don't think so....jpg - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

[dazzling]

Originally Posted by Muhler

From time to time you can read about a strained relationship between Mary and our Marie.
Well, judging from this pic Mary is either incredibly good at hiding her feelings - or they have a good relationship.
Is there cold air between the sisters-in-law - Nah, don't think so....jpg - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

I have not seen one picture that looks like Mary and Marie have a strained relationship. All picture so far have seemed that they have a good relationship and do seem to be comfortable in each others presence.
Its interesting how sometimes stories like to write about things that don't have much proof to just to sell. Maybe they should back up their articles with facts :big grin:
Do these articles come out when Mary and Marie are attending the same event or randomly these stories come out?

[Duke of Marmalade]

I dont think there is any strain on the relationship Mary - Marie either. They are too different in personality and position. Mary is CP and loves the attention and everything that goes with it. Marie is the second wife of the second son and loves being Lady of the Manor in Schackenborg, doing what has to be done as Princess of Denmark but nothing more. I dont think they meet very often and if they do its fine, one certainly doesnt feel threatened by the other.

I can imagine that it would be quite different in case Alex was still in Marie's position this relationship clearly had the potential to become bitchy

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by dazzling

Do these articles come out when Mary and Marie are attending the same event or randomly these stories come out?

Randomly, I'd say.
The last story I recall was something about Mary having a bad relationship with Joachim and that was in a German mag.
The Australian mags used to be pretty imaginative as well but I haven't seen any "dramatic" headlines for some time. On the other hand you see fewer and fewer stories from Australian mags here on this forum.... So, who knows...
Or perhaps they are learning?
- Yeah, I believe in Santa Claus as well

Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade

I dont think there is any strain on the relationship Mary - Marie either. They are too different in personality and position. Mary is CP and loves the attention and everything that goes with it. Marie is the second wife of the second son and loves being Lady of the Manor in Schackenborg, doing what has to be done as Princess of Denmark but nothing more. I dont think they meet very often and if they do its fine, one certainly doesnt feel threatened by the other.

I can imagine that it would be quite different in case Alex was still in Marie's position this relationship clearly had the potential to become bitchy

You may have a point in the sense that Mary and Alexandra are more alike, IMO. They are both strongwilled women with a perfectionist streak, something at least Mary has admitted to. Which is probably why they are both labbeled "perfect princess" by so many. The main difference as I see it was that Alexandra continued the more conservative line of the DRF back then in 1990's, while Mary (followed by Frederik) opened things up and made the DRF more approachable.
Would an Alexandra, still in place, have curbed Mary's approach during the first couple of years? Who knows? Now she ended up having the stage to herself, so she could do things her way, instead of looking at a more experienced sister-in-law. - It worked.
I'm not sure either they would have been close, they are too much alike. I believe it more likely they would have ended up deeply respecting each other.

Our Marie is another matter, she entered the field when Mary was established and I too doubt she ever had any ambitions about competing with Mary. She's simply Marie and what you see is what you get, for good or for worse.
Mary and Alexandra will never be caught unprepared at an event - that could happen to Marie. But she would simply laugh it off I think - and get completely away with it!

Mary and Marie is a great combination, because they are so different. They appeal both to different segments of the population but also to different sides of people in general (that's what they do to me).
The combination Mary and Alexandra would, I fear, have lead to constant comparisons because they are more alike.

The same thing applies to Frederik and Joachim. Joachim's more conservative and correct approach versus Frederik's more folksy appeal and easygoing manner. A good combination.

[Duke of Marmalade]

Alex basically acted as CP before Mary came on the scene and would have had to step back in terms of quality of events and limelight in order not to overshadow the new CP.

As you said, they may have ended up respecting each other but the beginning would have been very difficult, in that respect Mary was lucky that one strong princess was on her way out when another was on her way in and the strong princess who was out was only replaced by a princess who had no interest in following into the perfectionist and ambitious footsteps of her predessessor.

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade

Alex basically acted as CP before Mary came on the scene and would have had to step back in terms of quality of events and limelight in order not to overshadow the new CP.

As you said, they may have ended up respecting each other but the beginning would have been very difficult, in that respect Mary was lucky that one strong princess was on her way out when another was on her way in and the strong princess who was out was only replaced by a princess who had no interest in following into the perfectionist and ambitious footsteps of her predessessor.

Yeah, I think you pretty much nailed it.

Another thing is that I believe Alexandra would have maintained a much higher public profile, than our Marie - who is still in the process of finding her role.
The competition, at least in the eyes of the public (not to mention the magazines, good grief!) would have been much fiercer between Mary and Alexandra (no matter their personal relationship) at least until a kind of balance had been established.

Mary is also very much influenced by Frederik, in the sense that when he is around she's much less aware of her role. She is much more relaxed even to the point of being almost girlish. Her perfectionist streak takes second place. And that is something that is so very appealing to so many, me included.
Mary resembles QMII in the sense that they are both very good at their jobs, but when they are on the job with their husbands, that's when we often see the true QMII and Mary bubble up.

Marie is so fortunate that she seems to thrive at Schackenborg as well as Copenhagen, where, as I understand it, Alexandra is more of a big-city girl.
Result: Marie really has become "the lady of the manor". She and Joachim are the "royals of Southern Jutland" to a large extent. Simply because she, Marie, is there.
It's strange, come to think of it.
The lord of the manor is around - yeah, okay. Now the lady of the manor is here as well - and that matters locally!
Do you understand this, almost feudal, mindset I'm trying to convey?

[Nordic]

Originally Posted by Muhler

Mary and Alexandra will never be caught unprepared at an event - that could happen to Marie. But she would simply laugh it off I think - and get completely away with it!

Yes, but would Mary get away with things like that ? I doubt it. It's no surprise that she tries to do the best she can in her situation, whether she is a perfectionist or not.

Marie's life as a princess seems to be sooo much easier than Mary's...
She doesn't have half the demands on her, that Mary has. I have always had the impression that Marie is the one enjoying the attention (and nothing wrong with that) and that Mary has learnt to live with it, because she has to.

[American Dane]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Yes, but would Mary get away with things like that ? I doubt it. It's no surprise that she tries to do the best she can in her situation, whether she is a perfectionist or not.

Marie's life as a princess seems to be sooo much easier than Mary's...
She doesn't have half the demands on her, that Mary has. I have always had the impression that Marie is the one enjoying the attention (and nothing wrong with that) and that Mary has learnt to live with it, because she has to.

Completely agree with above especially the bolded

[Nordic]

Originally Posted by Muhler

Mary is also very much influenced by Frederik, in the sense that when he is around she's much less aware of her role. She is much more relaxed even to the point of being almost girlish. Her perfectionist streak takes second place. And that is something that is so very appealing to so many, me included.
Mary resembles QMII in the sense that they are both very good at their jobs, but when they are on the job with their husbands, that's when we often see the true QMII and Mary bubble up.

True, but it's obvious that it's easier to be girlish and playful if she has someone to be that with. She can't really be girlish and playful with the the mair or minister or some other dignitary sitting beside her.

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Yes, but would Mary get away with things like that ? I doubt it. It's no surprise that she tries to do the best she can in her situation, whether she is a perfectionist or not.

Marie's life as a princess seems to be sooo much easier than Mary's...
She doesn't have half the demands on her, that Mary has. I have always had the impression that Marie is the one enjoying the attention (and nothing wrong with that) and that Mary has learnt to live with it, because she has to.

No, she wouldn't. Or more correctly, she has set a standard, where it would cause raised eyebrows if she messed things up. - As did Alexandra.
On the other hand, Mary has so much credit in the bank that when she makes mistakes she gets of lightly. - Yeah okay, mistakes happen.
- Where in a similar situation our Marie would charm her way out, and get off because of her personality.
I don't buy the argument about the secondary Princess necessarily having an easier time. There are plenty of examples to the contrary.
It still depends very much on how she is and how she approach her role. It does help to stand a little to the back, but it doesn't protect you if you screw up too much.

Having said that, as much as I like Marie, she's not Mary. They are different, it's a different leaque. And Marie's approach to her role within the DRF may be less to do with lack of ambitions and more to do with realising her own abillities and being contend with being second.

I agree with you that Marie, and Alexandra too, likes the attention. Simply because of the attention, I believe. Where Mary is more reserved and perhaps more inclined to be aware of the attention in relation to her role as Crown Princess. In that respect she resembles Queen Ingrid.

QMII on the other hand also has a theatrical streak which sometimes surfaces. There is a little showwoman inside her wanting to get out.

Originally Posted by Nordic

True, but it's obvious that it's easier to be girlish and playful if she has someone to be that with. She can't really be girlish and playful with the the mair or minister or some other dignitary sitting beside her.

Hardly
But that doesn't mean she would be girlish with her husband either. There are other princesses who don't become girlish and bubble over in the presence of their husbands.

What I meant is that it's nice to see when that happens. It's nice to also see that side of their personality.

This illustrates what I mean: http://www.box.net/shared/fyc0yx3qisbq9nxnkbmu

[Nordic]

Originally Posted by Muhler

I don't buy the argument about the secondary Princess necessarily having an easier time. There are plenty of examples to the contrary.


What I meant is that it's nice to see when that happens. It's nice to also see that side of their personality.

Are there? Maybe I'm thinking mostly about the press. The tabloids that have written so many nasty, unfair and twisted articles about Mary, don't seem to bother to come up with these things about Marie. Or am I wrong? I don't follow the M&J threads at all. I have gotten this impression only by reading Danish newspapers.


I think there are lots of things we don't know about Mary's personality.
It would have been great to see pics of Mary playing air guitar at Frederik's birthday party...

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Are there? Maybe I'm thinking mostly about the press. The tabloids that have written so many nasty, unfair and twisted articles about Mary, don't seem to bother to come up with these things about Marie. Or am I wrong? I don't follow the M&J threads at all. I have gotten this impression only by reading Danish newspapers.


I think there are lots of things we don't know about Mary's personality.
It would have been great to see pics of Mary playing air guitar at Frederik's birthday party...

Oh yes, Fergie is one who springs to mind. She was welcomed as a refreshing addition to the BRF, albeit still a secondary princess.
As you know, that didn't turn out well. - And while she was still a princess mind you.
Princess Madeleine has had some hard time as well.

Actually the Danish press have been fairly lenient towards our Marie. She did however get a pretty rough treatment initially! She learned the hard lesson as one of the first things and she had to go from there.- Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise?

Yeah, I'd like to see Mary freewheeling (idiom) as well.
But on the other hand, when looking at QMII in full regalia, who would imagine her dancing around her husband, showering him with petals, while singing his praise?

[Duke of Marmalade]

Originally Posted by Muhler

No, she wouldn't. Or more correctly, she has set a standard, where it would cause raised eyebrows if she messed things up. - As did Alexandra.

I think the standard was set by Alexandra and Mary had to live up to it. Good for her that both women are similar with respect to determination, professionalism etc. Marie would have gotten into hot waters in this situation I guess.

Denmark was lucky to have Alexandra to set this standard, I believe. In other countries, the standards are much lower with the CP travelling for months, having burnouts or needing time off after a few weeks of "working" and nobody cares.

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade

I think the standard was set by Alexandra and Mary had to live up to it. Good for her that both women are similar with respect to determination, professionalism etc. Marie would have gotten into hot waters in this situation I guess.

Denmark was lucky to have Alexandra to set this standard, I believe. In other countries, the standards are much lower with the CP travelling for months, having burnouts or needing time off after a few weeks of "working" and nobody cares.

Yeah, but then both women had and has a pretty impressive mentor in QMII, who again had even more impressive mentor in Queen Ingrid.