The Duke & Duchess of Sussex with Oprah III - Post-Interview, March 9th 2021 -


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And yet the Queen, Philip, William & Kate all have higher approval ratings than Harry, and Harry only barely nips in ahead of Charles. Meghan's approval ratings, as well as the answers to the racism questions, are also telling. I'm not sure why this question's response seems to be such an outlier to the rest of the poll's results.

I agree. It always does seem like the Royal Family is out of touch with the realities of life. Maharani Gayatri Devi spoke of the first time she visited a village. She said she was being exposed to a whole new world. Royals in their castles are definitely out of touch.

What is more damning is that given all their relatability, Meghan and Harry are not that far behind in this poll. Only 13%.
 
What I wonder: she had that private babyshower in NY while she was pregnant. Why not ask her friends for help? Or the friends she had met of Harry? She had email contact, why wasn't there someone she could have asked? She could have gone anonymously to a ex-pat forum for Americans in the UK and ask there. Or find out who runs the charity Harry was representing and had a private talk with them? She had managed so much in private during her time at KP, why did she not use any of these contacts to help her? I don't get that, really I don't. She can't have been so helpless and naive during that time, she had a personal assistent eg.
 
I think there is a lot more to the claims no one helped her and she contacted the Palace HR team. On one hand I don't believe Meghan would claim she got in touch if she didn't as that is too easily verifiable and the Palace could easily come out and say "no you didn't". It is rather like her comment about her passport and car keys being taken away - IMO this refers at most to the fact such items would be held by staff for safe keeping (and for the passport so it can be accessed by staff when needed) but it was turned in the interview into something much more dramatic and sinister to suit the narrative at play. It may be factually true but is taken out of context. That is the same here I believe. The Palace HR team wouldn't book a member of the RF into a facility, it is not their role to and this may be what was said, in the kindest way and with support, but taken well out of context. I mean would you expect Joe Biden to contact the White House HR department if he experienced the same? I don't believe the family or any palace official wouldn't help her, the RF have made mental health a huge part of their work and whatever else you say about Palace aides the "most senior" ones aren't completely stupid to refuse a member of the RF help for an issue they are championing. Given how much Charles wanted to support them and his own experiences and those of his sons I'm sure if she had mentioned it to him he would have helped. It just doesn't add up to me.
 
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Oprah: You wanted freedom from . . . from that life? You wanted freedom to make your own money. You wanted freedom to make deals with Netflix and Spotify. But you also wanted to serve the Queen?

Harry: Yeah, we didn’t want to . . . we didn’t want to give up, or we didn’t want to turn our backs on the associations and the people that we  . . . that we’ve been supporting.

Translation, for once in Harry's life they didnt give in to anything he demanded. They didnt want him to sell out hisnvconnection to royalty while working for his family. Does he not realize how this would look?


Question, why would H+M want to stay and work with people who are racist and made them feel trapped? They didnt stayy because the royals didnt give in to their demands
 
Just a thought on the racist comment conversation. Assuming that Harry’s recollection is accurate (and I believe that it is), that the conversation occurred i the run-up to their engagement, it could have gone something like this:

“With all the negativity in the tabloids about Meghan’s race, it could get a lot worse for your kids, especially if their skin color is too dark. Are you and Meghan prepared to deal with this?”

Not a racist comment in and of itself (I believe), but just a recognition that racism does exist and could present problems for them they may not have considered.
 
There is, even with the 'heads together' campaign, a stigma about mental health. Its one thing for a member of the royal family to see a therapist. But it would be another for a member of the RF to check into some where for mental health. A therapist can quietly come to the palace or to Frogmore, a stay at a mental health hospital or retreat is another matter all together.


Sadly there may very well be members of the 'firm' who think mental health is not something to be spoken of. And certainly not to be made public.

Its one thing to go to a spa and have accupuncture. Nothing remotely 'taboo' about that. Mental health sadly is another matter. Especially if tabloids got a hold of it.

I only mentioned the massages etc. because to me, these pregnancy treatments were indicative of someone who would not hesitate at all to seek the appropriate self-help.

I don't think a heavily pregnant HRH would be permitted to go stay in a foreign treatment center or hospital for any length of time, and that might have been specifically what she wanted.


It is common in NYC to see a therapist or psychiatrist and not hide it. California as well.
 
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In the end, I think what Harry and Meghan tried to show "the world", that is: the media and their readers who love Royal gossip (including stories about avocados) what they made out of a beloved prince and his bride, who once was an independent woman with a career. They learned not to trust the people working at BP (as "they lie for their principals instead of speaking the truth about another member of the family"), they didn't help and the main family with Prince Charles in the front row did not use their influence to defend them and to help Meghan but cut them off when they fled the Uk. Their way to see the situation, their experiences, their life.



I understand them, I understand Charles and William, I see the "little flight" Andrew and his family made from BP to their own "palace" Royal Lodge and I am convinced that if the media had not pursued Meghan in such a terrible, terrible way they could have found a solution for Harry and Meghan to stay and keep working. They already had their private home away from the others, their own charitable endeavours, their own field of work for the Commonwealth and it could have worked out if the media (and their readers) had allowed them one moment of peace to sort through all of this. IMHO, of course.
 
Surely if you need mental health help, you speak to your doctor about it who refers you to the experts.
 
Surely if you need mental health help, you speak to your doctor about it who refers you to the experts.

That's the way it works here if you want to see a psychiatrist, and if you want to be able to claim a Medicare rebate for seeing a psychologist, but you can make an appointment directly with a psychologist, and I think therapists are psychologists, not psychiatrists. But I wonder if it works the same way in England, or in the US?
 
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I've been treated for depression and anxiety myself. I got no sympathy from my employer: they even complained that I was attending medical appointments during working hours, which I didn't have much choice about - doctors and counsellors' surgeries aren't supermarkets and don't open 24 hours. So I sympathise with anyone with mental health problems. But I find it very hard to believe that anyone would say that it "wouldn't be a good look" for Meghan to get help. Who would even have known? Medical professionals are banned from revealing information about patients. Has anyone ever, ever seen a tabloid interview with a doctor or counsellor, spilling the beans about their celebrity patients?


Many famous people have chosen to speak out about their health problems, but that's been their choice. William and Harry have both spoken out about mental health problems.
 
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Just a thought on the racist comment conversation. Assuming that Harry’s recollection is accurate (and I believe that it is), that the conversation occurred i the run-up to their engagement, it could have gone something like this:

“With all the negativity in the tabloids about Meghan’s race, it could get a lot worse for your kids, especially if their skin color is too dark. Are you and Meghan prepared to deal with this?”

Not a racist comment in and of itself (I believe), but just a recognition that racism does exist and could present problems for them they may not have considered.

I agree with you and it also chimes with "recollections vary". Meghan thinks it happened while she was pregnant but that might be because Harry didn't tell her before they were married.

Re: the request to go into a hospital for help - we can't compare what we might have done personally or what usually happens because we're not in the same situation of being a high profile member of the BRF, where every time we go out or plan a stay somewhere, it has to be liaised with security & comms. Meghan told us what she did and when a person is suicidal, we should show sensitivity to their actions and requests. It's sad to read criticisms here (and disbelief) of what she did at a time when she "didn't want to be alive anymore".

Meanwhile, the MP who organised the letter that Harry mentioned in the interview has responded:

"The hounding of the Duchess of Sussex shows that MPs must take further action against press bullying, the MP who organised a letter of solidarity for Meghan has said after Prince Harry suggested the act had given the couple more support than their own families had.

Holly Lynch coordinated the cross-party letter from 72 female MPs to Meghan in 2019. On Tuesday, the Labour MP for Halifax said the warning that MPs would not continue to accept an onslaught of negative coverage with “colonial undertones” had clearly not been heeded by the media."

Full article here: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news...han-letter-calls-for-action-on-press-bullying
 
I think it's odd that not one private secretary, courtier, personal assistant or equerry is named in the entire interview.

SS had a legal team go over the script of the interview. I presume a lot was removed.

It sounds like your company doesn't have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Many companies do so that an employee can go to them for help. It is a confidential program. Meghan said that her union as an actress had an EAP. So that was her frame of reference for going to Human Resources.

yep - I know that many companies in the US have them. Mine doesn't in the UK - I presume as most of that is available on the NHS hotlines. Does anyone else's company have EAP?
Also just to be clear - American companies have them to prevent law suits. Ironic isn't it.

I read in a book (Royals at War by Dylan Howard) that during her pregnancy she went to a very posh spa, (Heckfield Place in Hampshire) and separately also had a course of acupuncture, availed herself of massage therapy and aromatherapy, did chanting and consulted a numerologist. I don't think she was prevented from getting psychiatric help, I think that the palace didn't like her chosen venue which was probably in another country.

This and several other things are why people are saying is a load of nonsense. Several journalists have asked the Heckfields if they still employ a therapist - at one time there was one on call. So people could discuss prenatal depression, their feelings of change and becoming a mother ect. It might have been part of the package.

1. Meghan had a team of doctors for Archie (team - more then 4 people to look after) all personally picked and not from the palace. This included a midwife. It should be noticed that these people are trained to notice depression if you don't mention it as well.
2. She was getting some sort of religious instruction as well. Apparently she cant talk to a priest either.
3. She never mentioned it in Finding Freedom.
4. Details exactly like Diana's story.
 
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A masterful statement that hit the right note with dignity and not descending into a rabid response I'm sure Meghan, Oprah etc. hoped for. Time to move on and leave the Sussexes to their irrelevance with their two-bit champions. In 100 years time who will remember these people? The Queen's legacy will endure centuries.
 
I know this has been discussed before, but it is confirming that the Met Police and Home Office decides on the security not the Royal Family or Palace.

In regards to royal security that is tax-payer funded, some sources from the Home Office and Met Police have refute claims that Archie was denied protection, because he was not a Prince. The Time article mentioned that Joint Terrorism Analysis Centre (JTAC) conducts the threat assessment and how the Home Office has unanimously tried to cut taxpayer funded cost of protecting royals for the past five years. It also mentioned about the estimate cost of more than £1 million a year (by taxpayer) for round-the-clock protection during the Sussexes' stay in Canada.

A police source said: “JTAC do threat assessments for anyone of any note and they obviously know who has targeted who in the past so certain individuals have been targeted by certain terror groups and their threat level is moderate high or very high. The leading royals all get protection but again done on a threat assessment basis.

“If you cease to be a royal, you lose your HRH and you go to another country like America, your threat level is going to reduce quite considerably because basically, who wants to kill you? You’re not a royal. It still will exist — there still will be a threat against Meghan and Harry but it won’t be high. And the threat against their children is non-existent so the notion that her son should get protection just because they were born to Meghan and Harry is nonsense, really.”

Another source familiar with the process mocked Meghan for expecting that Archie would receive his own protection, saying: “The point they were making was stupid. A baby that can’t crawl wouldn’t get protection in its own right. It doesn’t need it. The baby doesn’t go anywhere independently, it’s with Harry and Meghan all the time.”

HARRY AND MEGAN INTERVIEW
Harry and Meghan ‘don’t need police protection — their risk isn’t high enough’
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/...tection-their-risk-isnt-high-enough-gcwzdxs6l

Archived link that has the full article: https://archive.ph/RNEU8#selection-707.0-711.78
 
I don't find it hard to believe that Meghan was feeling isolated. Remember, the press and media were hounding them and the best assist TPTB could come up with was stay home and keep out of sight. As to both feeling cut off then it's worth remembering that Sir Christopher Geidt, HM's Private Secretary was ousted after after he ran afoul of Princes Charles and Andrew over denial of access to the Queen.

Sad because he was a canny man but, it says "something" when the functionary guarding the Queen's Gatekeeper can withhold calls and messages from not just her children but the Heir to the throne. Is it such a stretch to believe Harry and Meghan ran into the same communications difficulties with Charles and the Queen? If so, feeling are hurt through lack of clear lines of communications, edited messages may be received but they would lack context and exacerbate the situation.

On another topic, taking time at a mental health retreat is common in the US, not so in the UK and Europe I think. Health and pampering spa may be all the go, but treatment retreats are rare.

As to gaming out scenarios re Archie's skin colour, it happens to people who aren't royal and the members of the BRF are people too aren't they? Whoever spoke may be loved and loving but lack the nous to realise such a question should never be raised at all. But I believe Harry when he says he won't discuss it and even raising the issue clearly caused him anguish.

People are entitled to their own truth and declaring one "doesn't believe it, is stating straight out that Harry is a liar. We have no evidence that is so.
 
"some sources from the Home Office and Met Police" so not officially the Home Office or Met Police.

Another source familiar with the process mocked Meghan for expecting that Archie would receive his own protection, saying: “The point they were making was stupid. A baby that can’t crawl wouldn’t get protection in its own right. It doesn’t need it. The baby doesn’t go anywhere independently, it’s with Harry and Meghan all the time.”
What a nasty comment about an anxious mother, particularly as working parents do leave their children.

Harry said in the interview that he was told their risk level hadn't changed so until an official spokesperson from the Met or Home Office publicly refutes that, any speculation by "sources' is coming from a place of ignorance as opposed to Harry's actual knowledge.
 
. Mine doesn't in the UK - I presume as most of that is available on the NHS hotlines. Does anyone else's company have EAP?

I know some friends have received mental health support through workplace programmes, but that's usually for public sector workers, and occasionally in large private sector businesses. As I said further up the thread, I got no support whatsoever for depression and anxiety, and my employer complained when I had to attend medical appointments, to which I was referred by my GP, during working hours.

In the UK we do have the National Health Service, so it's less common for medical support to be available at work.

But surely Harry could and should have advised Meghan about that. And, if you did ask for help from HR and it wasn't available, surely they would suggest that you should ask a doctor instead.
 
There is a big difference here. Meghan did not work for the Royal Family ie. she was not employed. She was a part of the Royal Family, part of the institution - a very different concept. Would it not have been better to talk openly about her mental health during the pregnancy? I think she would have received overwhelming public sympathy. Remember, the press and public were friendly until the Sussexes decided on all the secrecy around Archie's birth etc. and began to treat the British public, press and Harry's family as the enemy.
 
"some sources from the Home Office and Met Police" so not officially the Home Office or Met Police.

What a nasty comment about an anxious mother, particularly as working parents do leave their children.

Harry said in the interview that he was told their risk level hadn't changed so until an official spokesperson from the Met or Home Office publicly refutes that, any speculation by "sources' is coming from a place of ignorance as opposed to Harry's actual knowledge.

It is not nasty. Archie would've either been with his parents or at the palace. It's being practical.
 
Why shouldn't I wonder, what coloring, hair, eyes color, features a baby will have - everybody does it with every baby in sight - only becaus Meghan defines herself as biracial and is 'sensitiv' about that matter? I think the whole racial stuff is a made up matter - as in 'all humans are humans' for me there is no race or anything like that. People are people and everyone looks diffrent to the other.... so I may wonder like i wonder about every other baby ... if it is an offence to wonder - then it is for everybodies baby.

[...]


A lot of problems we create in our own mind; most of the time there is no slight - when we choose to feel one.
 
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They should respond in public. They won’t. That’s one of the problems.

Once the Firm starts that though, it's a slippery slope and can only negatively affect the prestige and standing of the monarchy in my opinion. This would simply open it up to more criticism. Standing silent and firm is the way to go. I think the statement was at the same time telling but dignified. I would have left out the "much loved family members" bit at the end, but that's just me!
 
Meghan herself said she wanted to go to a hospital but that she couldn't just call an uber- that inplies that she wasn't asking for anything elaborate or extravagant.
Moreover, if a senior palace official denied her request in makes sense that in the throws of her anguish and despair that she would ask for help from any logical place such as the palace's HR department. Many organizations -HR departments have employee health offices on premises(physical and mental) to assist employees.

There is also the shame stigma that comes from asking for help. Like Meghan said in the S. African interview- no one checked in on them to see if they were ok or how she was coping with it all. Moreover as she and Harry were told that they should "just get on with it". Imagine how that affects ones self esteem in the midst of a crisis.
At no point during the interview the word "hospital" is mentioned. "Institution" can be so many things, including some hipster-ish "spa treatment" that we hear about so often with celebrities and such. During the pregnancy she had handpicked team of her own doctors - no "stuffy, old, white men" from the palace for Meghan. Her husband has been for many years now worked with many organizations dealing in mental health, he has his own psychologist/therapist, they could have went to William or Charles if they could not get this done on their own - but they didn't.

And no, it doesn't make sense. HR department is for paid employees of the royal family, she was a member of the royal family. They very well knew their money come from Charles and not HR department, but thought their healthcare does? Really?
I don't find it hard to believe that Meghan was feeling isolated. Remember, the press and media were hounding them and the best assist TPTB could come up with was stay home and keep out of sight. As to both feeling cut off then it's worth remembering that Sir Christopher Geidt, HM's Private Secretary was ousted after after he ran afoul of Princes Charles and Andrew over denial of access to the Queen.
Meghan did not have a support system in the UK, so yes, the isolation thing, I can get behind. But then there is this story "lay low and don't go out to lunch with your friend", so are we meant to believe that a lunch in London/Windsor was bad and she couldn't go, but an extravagant baby shower in NYC was accepted? That leaving Archie in the UK and flying out to watch Serena Williams was fine, but she couldn't leave the house to get lunch. Yeah. It just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
 
They should respond in public. They won’t. That’s one of the problems.


They made a statement & didn't remain completely silent, because that just wasn't possible or advisable in this case. However, the Queen as monarch & head of state cannot start to discuss family issues in detail.

What would that look like? Harry & Meghan have made accusations, if the Queen now explained what she has gathered about these issues from other family members, Harry & Meghan would probably respond again. So it would be some kind of back and forth of
"You said this"
"No, I worded it this way and that's what I meant"
"That's not how I felt about it."
"I'm sorry but that's not how I meant it"
"Yes, you did!"
"No, I didn't!"
... :ermm:

How is that supposed to turn out? Family conflict resolution in the public realm? That's obviously something Harry and Meghan do not mind, and Oprah has made an impressive career out of that sort of thing - people love to watch it! - but it is highly inappropriate for a Queen to engage in.
 
There was a lot of arguing about security a few years ago. Most of it was aimed at Beatrice and Eugenie, but that's just because they were the ones in the public eye at the time. It was felt that the cost of security for members of the Royal Family, other than whilst they were carrying out public duties, was too high. Moves were made to reduce that.


As has been pointed out by other people, these decisions were made by the Home Office and the Metropolitan Police, not by the Royal Family. They were not an attack on Archie, several years before he was born. They had nothing to do with anyone's ethnicity. And they were not connected with titles or styles. I can understand Meghan having concerns about security, but she implied that Archie was denied a title so that he wouldn't have his security paid for, and that this was something to do with his racial heritage, and all of that is simply untrue.
 
If Harry and Meghan want to turn the Windsors into the Royal Jerry Springer Show that’s on them. The Queen is so far above that he said she said level it’s not even funny and she and the senior Royals will never stoop to the level Harry and really Meghan are most likely desperately wanting.
 
There was a lot of arguing about security a few years ago. Most of it was aimed at Beatrice and Eugenie, but that's just because they were the ones in the public eye at the time. It was felt that the cost of security for members of the Royal Family, other than whilst they were carrying out public duties, was too high. Moves were made to reduce that.


As has been pointed out by other people, these decisions were made by the Home Office and the Metropolitan Police, not by the Royal Family. They were not an attack on Archie, several years before he was born. They had nothing to do with anyone's ethnicity. And they were not connected with titles or styles. I can understand Meghan having concerns about security, but she implied that Archie was denied a title so that he wouldn't have his security paid for, and that this was something to do with his racial heritage, and all of that is simply untrue.


Yes, those iissues are clear and, in my opinion, settled.


In a republic like the United States, PPOs are restricted to:


1. The President (i.e. the Head of State), his/her spouse, and their underage children if any.


2. Former Presidents and their spouses.


It is baffling to me that some American posters are complaining about the lack of life-long PPOs in the UK for a great-grandson in collateral line of the Head of State, or, in the next reign, an adult grandson of the Head of State in collateral line.
 
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A masterful statement that hit the right note with dignity and not descending into a rabid response I'm sure Meghan, Oprah etc. hoped for. Time to move on and leave the Sussexes to their irrelevance with their two-bit champions. In 100 years time who will remember these people? The Queen's legacy will endure centuries.
How right you are ! What a dignity in this response from the Queen. A good lesson how to behave properly.
 
At no point during the interview the word "hospital" is mentioned. "Institution" can be so many things, including some hipster-ish "spa treatment" that we hear about so often with celebrities and such.

Meghan's words after describing her frightening thoughts about not wanting to be alive anymore: "I went to the institution and I said that I needed to go somewhere to get help and I was told that I couldn't, that it wouldn't be good for the institution."

and

She says specifically she wanted residential treatment.

Oprah: Did you ever think about going to a hospital? Or is that possible, that you can check yourself in some place?

Meghan: No, that’s what I was asking to do.
 
When someone is in a crisis and says they feel like they " don't want to be here anymore"hospitalized- in home treatments don't work- they need to be hospitalized. After stabilization then arrangements can be made for outpatient treatment. Meghan claimed she was begging for help and "nothing was being done" that implies they didn't even try to get her as you suggested private in-home care. Those are serious charges and like I have been saying it definitely
warrants and inquiry and procedures need to be reformed if it is in fact true.

Is there data available on the efficacy of 24/7 in-home care in those situations? I doubt it, because very few people are able to do that. Only the wealthiest have the option for any kind of in-home care, and that those choose that route usually do so because they want privacy. Most of them aren't going to later go around saying "I had such-and-such treatment and it worked" or "it didn't work."

She says she was told she couldn't have inpatient treatment. She said nothing about asking for any other kind of help or being denied it. It's not obvious why she and Harry couldn't have arranged some in-home treatment themselves, since he'd sought similar help himself and ran a mental health charity - he surely knew how it could be done discreetly. If she tried to do that and was denied it or it didn't work for her, fine. But if she dismissed every option other than inpatient treatment without trying it, that's on her, and I think it's fair to question her sincerity in claiming to need it.

It's worth keeping in mind here that the Queen hasn't seen Philip, her husband of 73 years, since he entered hospital nearly a month ago. That's because she knows her presence will cause a disruption to the hospital's operations and possibly to patient care. That would have been just as true of any facility where Meghan might have sought inpatient treatment. I'm sure they'd like to see each other, and I'm sure visits would be beneficial to Philip's mental health and recovery, but for working royals, what's best for them personally isn't the be-all, end-all. If what's best for them personally has the potential to harm others, then they'll choose a less-beneficial option for themselves if an adequate one exists. Here, I don't see any reason to conclude that her other options weren't adequate for the situation... especially if she didn't try them.
 
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