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  #41  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Heather_ View Post
I actually would disagree that anything I’ve said is extreme. Particularly because it has become personal and I’ve been personally attacked in a thread in which I was critical of an action of Meghan’s and when the thread was closed, the poster then continued to attack me personally via private message because I had dared to point out that in that particular instance Meghan was in the wrong. It was over the top, extreme, unwarranted, but frankly, typical. And I highly doubt I’m the only person that’s had that experience, particularly when I take into consideration that the mod I spoke with seemed resigned to the fact that it was becoming a routine problem. So I do think it’s fair to use those words and to bring all of that into the discussion given that not just the threads but the private messages are subject to this level of ridiculousness.

Also, I think it’s sad that either side has to “hold their own” because these threads really shouldn’t be about holding your own in a fight because they really shouldn’t be a fight. It’s okay for each poster to have and state their opinion and it really doesn’t always require an argument or a response, even if another poster disagrees.
What you are describing isn't what I was talking about. I can't really comment on PM, and that's not the topic of discussion here. Nor is it something we can find a solution here. Let's work on one thing at a time. Hopefully there is/can be a block option and that fixes that problem. That's something that mods will have to decide on. Like if there is someone who keeps sending nasty PMs to people, how does that get handled. We are talking about what is posted in the forums. And that, the mods monitor pretty closely.

And holding your own isn't just about a fight. None of the posters here are the victim. We all have a voice, and we can say what we think and why we think that. It's a discussion and we discuss as long as it's not personal attacks. I agree someone doesn't always have to respond, but that's each person's preference and choice. We can't control or tell anyone else not to respond, which is what I've seen being complained about. People responded disagreeing what I said, so they must be trying to silence me.
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  #42  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
That's true. It's a sticky situation since some have gotten smart and used other means to circumvent the rule. For example, if they don't like Meghan and saying what they think is going to get them in trouble, then post some opinion piece from an inflammatory figure or an unreliable source as a mouthpiece. I've noticed that more and more.

And as for how the forums are moderate, sometimes it's difficult to tell. Like how many posts does it take for someone to get a warning or ban? It doesn't seem like it's always measurable.
I get that Jacqui, BUT they know who they are, we know who they are. It's not a lot of posters, but perhaps 6-10. For example, and I hope this poster won't mind me using them as an example. I know wyvale may not be a big fan of the Sussex's, but when they post, it's with credible information, some historical info, the reason something may or may not be happening. Posters can have discussion with wyvale because they know that he/she is not going to hit below the belt, and the conversation can be constructive, at least that's what I've viewed/experienced.

NOW...there are some fans of the Sussex's that go WAY overboard and I haven't seen them post here in a while, and mainly keep their butts to twitter, so I have no idea which posters are "attacking" non-supporters. If that's the case, then that should be another solution, to deal with posters individually and get them off the board. First, start with the HATERS...yes I said it, the ones (6-10 posters) who come into the threads, use different tactics, but their end goal is always the same. I sure can name names when they're ready.
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  #43  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:28 PM
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I don't post much, and I don't know what tools are available to everyone, but is there a way of determining if the problematic posts are from the same group of people? If so, could they be warned, and then blocked from posting again?

Just a thought.
  #44  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rena M. View Post
Duchess of Sussex is royalty.
I think people who don't like Meghan could take holidays from commenting on a disliked royal... and her fans.
You gotta be kidding me!
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  #45  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenJen View Post
I don't post much, and I don't know what tools are available to everyone, but is there a way of determining if the problematic posts are from the same group of people? If so, could they be warned, and then blocked from posting again?

Just a thought.
There are no tools for that. You would just have to block on an individual basis.
  #46  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ista View Post
I think Zaira and Heather touched on what I am beginning to think is the crux of the matter: it should be all right to state your opinion, wherever that falls, and after a certain point, you have to move on. Some of the problems seem to arise when either someone absolutely has to have the last word, or when instead of a few people expressing a dissenting opinion to something, there is a pile-on, which takes on an increasingly nasty tone.

And yes, there are posters on both ends of the extreme who pot-stir, or take unpleasant swipes at other posters, which should not be tolerated at all, but sometimes passes, no doubt because of sheer exhaustion on the moderators part, and which leaves behind an unpleasant little smear of ill feeling.
I think you’ve said this much more concisely than I could have. I think a big part of the problem is that some very, very vocal posters in both camps are determined to have the last word and believe that if they have the last word then they must have “won” when really they’ve only succeeded in causing others or their “opponent” to shut down and disengage because this is at the end of the day just supposed to be fun. I don’t believe that everyone who expresses a
difference of opinion is trying to “silence” other posters but I do think that the increasingly brutal pile on/demand for the last word/insistence on drilling their point home about why they’re right and you’re wrong is deafening and exhausting and does much to contribute to the hostility and ill feeling on both sides.
  #47  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Heather_ View Post
I don’t necessarily disagree with this approach but I really do have a completely honest question about it. While I think it’s great that the threads are a better experience for you using this method, why is it unacceptable to have posts that don’t contain only positives and support for Meghan? While she’s certainly not the devil incarnate that some people would make her out to be she’s also not perfect because she’s human and just like any other royal should be subject to both positive/supportive comments and negative/nonsupportive comments. I’m genuinely curious why some posters feel that she shouldn’t ever be subject to anything other than glowing positivity?
There are some folks who react to any criticism of Meghan (or Harry). But alternatively, there are also some people who always post negative articles and never have a positive thing to say.

And even people who generally like Meghan (and Harry) react to the posts that are radical in either direction. Even great discussions by a number of people have been derailed by one or two divisive posts and those having the calm discussion lose out because of the arguments.
  #48  
Old 07-10-2019, 08:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JuliannaVictoria View Post
I don't give two shits about thread continuity. I just want out of this hypocritical, toxic, cesspool, and to also get some control back over my e-mail address (too many messages from here flooding my inbox).
You can delete your email subscriptions in "Your Control Panel" via "Private Messages".
Deleting your membership without finding the real owner of this forum and help of a lawyer seems impossible to me. Serfs problems, you know
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCzAp5IhyL4
  #49  
Old 07-10-2019, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Heather_ View Post
I don’t necessarily disagree with this approach but I really do have a completely honest question about it. While I think it’s great that the threads are a better experience for you using this method, why is it unacceptable to have posts that don’t contain only positives and support for Meghan? While she’s certainly not the devil incarnate that some people would make her out to be she’s also not perfect because she’s human and just like any other royal should be subject to both positive/supportive comments and negative/nonsupportive comments. I’m genuinely curious why some posters feel that she shouldn’t ever be subject to anything other than glowing positivity?
There are posts by certain posters that are nothing but negativity and nitpicking. They never have a nice thing to say about Meghan. They are negative to be negative. Posts don’t have to only be positive, but when a poster who knows they have nothing nice to say about her posts just to say something negative, it’s obvious what they are doing. They are trying to stomp on the happy feelings of others simply because they can. I don’t have time for that nonsense.
  #50  
Old 07-10-2019, 08:44 PM
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I’ve been on TRF for a number of years. But, rarely post anymore because there are so many who are openly rude. To me, that is the real problem. So what if some one isn’t in agreement with your point of view. You can still be polite. Can’t you?
I used to find TRF an interesting and fun source of information about the various royals. For example, Princess Victoria and Daniel’s wedding was a beautiful and memorable day for many of us. I don’t recall nasty, snarky know-it-all comments then.
But, now there are some really nasty commenters and not just about the Sussex family. I’m not particularly interested in this family, but, I see no reason for the attacks on them on a forum.
Maybe there really should be some kind of standards for TRF as to good manners!
This JMHO. But, of course, I think I’m right. Smiling!
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  #51  
Old 07-10-2019, 08:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
The only way to stop this is basically only allow pictures and articles about official engagements and announcements to be posted for now until things die down a bit. So sort of like a newsfeed to keep updated on what is going on with the Sussexes and what they are doing.
While I would be sad we could have no discussion, this seems like a better solution than totally closed threads.

Although I would prefer nothing posted about certain reporters or a certain father and half siblings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ista View Post
I don't disagree with anything you said, but I would like to think that there are some positive steps that could be taken here to normalize the threads. Empress Merel's approach is pretty much where I fall--I'm not in love with any royal, and there is not a single royal who gets all positive or all negative from me. I don't think that's an unusual approach on TRF, it's only the Sussex threads where that seems to cause problems.
The Princess Sofia of Sweden threads got pretty nasty for awhile. Now that they've been married awhile and have two kids it doesn't seem to get so heated anymore.
  #52  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
The Princess Sofia of Sweden threads got pretty nasty for awhile. Now that they've been married awhile and have two kids it doesn't seem to get so heated anymore.
Now you say that, I remember those. Lots of ugliness on those threads.
  #53  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by JuliannaVictoria View Post
. There are CERTAIN POSTERS that are the problem. How about we address those first.
I feel like some of the posters are given greater leeway by the mods than some other posters.
  #54  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Rena M. View Post
You can delete your email subscriptions in "Your Control Panel" via "Private Messages".
Deleting your membership without finding the real owner of this forum and help of a lawyer seems impossible to me. Serfs problems, you know
Thank you for this. I will try this route for now regarding the e-mails. Membership is another discussion. There are so many interesting people on this forum and I would hate to just up and leave, but a few makes this forum very toxic and I this is a place I come to for a bit of fashion and enjoyment. It's just become too negative.

Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
The Princess Sofia of Sweden threads got pretty nasty for awhile. Now that they've been married awhile and have two kids it doesn't seem to get so heated anymore.
OH yes. I mentioned something akin to this earlier in this thread. I don't ever remember those threads getting closed down. I felt so bad for Sofia during that time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
I feel like some of the posters are given greater leeway by the mods than some other posters.
ABSOLUTELY agree with this. We all know who they are, they know who they are and the mods know who they are. I don't care if they've been on here since Noah was a little man, if they're disruptive to a particular thread, they should lose some privileges instead of letting the thread derail to the point of closing it down.
  #55  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
I feel like some of the posters are given greater leeway by the mods than some other posters.
B I N G O. You won the jackpot !!!!
  #56  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
I feel like some of the posters are given greater leeway by the mods than some other posters.
That’s why I asked for clarification on this earlier.
  #57  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by JuliannaVictoria View Post
ABSOLUTELY agree with this. We all know who they are, they know who they are and the mods know who they are. I don't care if they've been on here since Noah was a little man, if they're disruptive to a particular thread, they should lose some privileges instead of letting the thread derail to the point of closing it down.
I think there need to be clear guidelines for what is and is not disruptive, though, and transparency in how those rules are applied. And that's a tough thing to do, as we've seen when threads are closed down. There's some obvious things that I think most of us posting on this particular thread agree on--no posting inflammatory or click-baiting articles or blogs, no personal attacks or demeaning remarks----but how do you formulate rules to cover all those other things that may or may not, depending on your perspective, get people riled up and make the thread blow up? And how do you apply those even-handedly? If you've ever moderated a forum you know that this stuff is much easier in theory than it is in practice, and inevitably, there will be times when stuff slips through.
  #58  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:34 PM
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For the record, I didn't join TRF for years because it seemed any critique of the Cambridges, specifically Kate, was shut down by other posters and even by the mods. TRF had a reputation of being an extreme Kate fan board, even. (I recognize some will disagree with me about this but I am just sharing what I felt and what I saw expressed by many in other royal watching spaces. Your milage may vary)

I also recall some very nasty commentary about Sofia of Sweden, and lots of fighting in the Diana threads from my lurker days.

Which is all to say that while the Sussex threads have been a whole other beast and I think there are a whole lot of factors at play that are complex and representation of larger social divisions (see my earlier posts and my posts in the race threads), I DO think that sanity ultimately prevails and things mellow out.

I am not sure what was done to help out in the aforementioned threads (and truth be told, I simply, or rarely, never visit the Cambridge section, a tact I wish other posters would take for the Sussex threads, but I digress), but perhaps we can learn from what was helpful in moderating those threads? I also recall things getting heated in many a Letizia thread too.
  #59  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:50 PM
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Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
That’s why I asked for clarification on this earlier.
I think this falls under moderator discretion or interpretation, so there is no hard and fast rule. And as in all things in life, long term association or interaction can be one factor of future reaction.
  #60  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaira View Post
I also recall some very nasty commentary about Sofia of Sweden, and lots of fighting in the Diana threads from my lurker days.

Which is all to say that while the Sussex threads have been a whole other beast and I think there are a whole lot of factors at play that are complex and representation of larger social divisions (see my earlier posts and my posts in the race threads), I DO think that sanity ultimately prevails and things mellow out.

I am not sure what was done to help out in the aforementioned threads (and truth be told, I simply, or rarely, never visit the Cambridge section, a tact I wish other posters would take for the Sussex threads, but I digress), but perhaps we can learn from what was helpful in moderating those threads? I also recall things getting heated in many a Letizia thread too.
I agree that there’s been lots of nastiness in lots of threads over the years and that the Sussex threads are a whole different beast. That said, I don’t necessarily agree about avoiding the threads unless you know you’re just going there to troll. Case in point, the Sussexes are not my favorite royals. Nor do I despise them. I visit their threads because I’m honestly interested. I don’t love her fashion choices but that’s just because we have very different fashion senses and that’s okay. She’s had a few outfits that I thought were real winners and definitely said so. I also didn’t refrain from commenting when I didn’t like what she wore or thought the fit could have been better. I think they’ve made some poor choices on occasion and didn’t really hesitate to say so. That said I also was happy to comment when I whole heartedly agreed with what they’ve done. So even though they aren’t my favorites and I don’t always love everything about them I still visit their threads. And in all honesty, that used to be one of my favorite things about TRF because we all got to see and talk about the way others viewed things and share our own thoughts. It’s really kind of sad that it feels like now we shouldn’t even visit threads if we’ve ever been critical of that person/couple. I know that isn’t what you’re saying but that is how some posters are feeling about all this.
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