The Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Family, News and Events 1: September-December 2020

[Denville]

Originally Posted by ACO

Exactly. All you have to do is listen and read all the reactions to this piece by Meghan to recognize it. There is sadly quite the stigma but it has been nice seeing the various experts speaking out yesterday.

I cant' see where anyones reaction has been that there's some stigma. People have just tended to say that while they sympathise, they wonder why she went into stuff about George Floyd or other issues.. [.....]

[TLLK]

Originally Posted by ACO

Exactly. All you have to do is listen and read all the reactions to this piece by Meghan to recognize it. There is sadly quite the stigma but it has been nice seeing the various experts speaking out yesterday.

I respectfully disagree. I have yet to read a reaction on this site that is related to the familiar stigmas associated with pregnancy loss ie: speculation on the couple's marital state or their ability to have any future children. However I have read posts questioning the decision to incorporate references to the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor though on this site.



I do agree with those in the healthcare profession that the couple's decision to share the news of their miscarriage can be helpful to other women and couples that have experienced a similar situation.

[Duchess of Wakanda]

There is a stigma in western society surrounding miscarriage. Just because it’s not been seen on this website doesn’t mean it’s not there. A stigma doesn’t always mean people being uncaring or cruel to parents going through the loss. Sometimes it’s people telling you that the loss isn’t the same as loosing a “regular” child, or that you will get over it and have other kids. While (2 out of 3 of) these things might be technically true, parents who’ve suffered a miscarriage don’t want to hear those things because they aren’t helpful in the moment. They wanted THAT baby on THAT baby’s due date. Not another baby in the future.

Two - George Floyd and Breonna Taylor’s death were traumatic and painful for many people. When people who look like you and are killed for no other reason reason than they look like you, it will do something to your soul - and the fact that we were dealing with a soul crushing pandemic with the deceased into the 100,000s, a global recession, and (in this country) a divisive political situation made it ten times worse.

Sometimes, just because something doesn’t apply to you personally, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t apply to other people. I fount Meghan’s piece remarkably moving. She put in words what I’ve been asking myself and others “Are You Okay?” because really that’s all we can do for one another sometimes.

[Denville]

Originally Posted by Duchess of Wakanda

There is a stigma in western society surrounding miscarriage. Just because it’s not been seen on this website doesn’t mean it’s not there. A stigma doesn’t always mean people being uncaring or cruel to parents going through the loss. Sometimes it’s people telling you that the loss isn’t the same as loosing a “regular” child, or that you will get over it and have other kids. While (2 out of 3 of) these things might be technically true, parents who’ve suffered a miscarriage don’t want to hear those things because they aren’t helpful in the moment. They wanted THAT baby on THAT baby’s due date. Not another baby in the future.

T

A stigma means that its something shameful or embarrassing - that it is something that's not meant to be talked about... it doesn't apply to where people say clumsy things because they dont know what to say....

[Duchess of Wakanda]

Originally Posted by Denville

A stigma means that its something shameful or embarrassing - that it is something that's not meant to be talked about... it doesn't apply to where people say clumsy things because they dont know what to say....

And the reasons above are why couples are shamed into not speaking up, especially the “Well you didn’t loose a real baby” and “it’s not the end of the world, you can have more”

But this is where I end this argument on my end - I’m not going to debate about someone else’s pain and tragedy anymore.

[TLLK]

Just because it’s not been seen on this website doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Yes Duchess of Wakanda I am aware that there are comments made on the Internet and not just this site. In that case I believe that it would be wise to follow the example set by the Duchess of Sussex who made it known in Oct. 2020 that she doesn't follow or read social media comments.


Meghan undoubtedly knew that her decision to share her letter via the NYT would bring a mixture of praise and criticism. I'm sure that they'll appreciate the support they receive. Also I believe that she and Prince Harry have the strength to handle any criticism and will simply ignore naysayers. If they believe that some of their critics have made relevant points regarding the contents of their letter, then they may choose to consider those.

[poppy7]

Originally Posted by TLLK

Yes Duchess of Wakanda I am aware that there are comments made on the Internet and not just this site. In that case I believe that it would be wise to follow the example set by the Duchess of Sussex who made it known in Oct. 2020 that she doesn't follow or read social media comments.


Meghan undoubtedly knew that her decision to share her letter via the NYT would bring a mixture of praise and criticism. I'm sure that they'll appreciate the support they receive. Also I believe that she and Prince Harry have the strength to handle any criticism and will simply ignore naysayers. If they believe that some of their critics have made relevant points regarding the contents of their letter, then they may choose to consider those.

I appauld anyone who is willing to make themselves vulnerable about their experiences in order for it to help people. I haven't read the article and any criticism at their choice of exposure is probably typical of what they do. I would however say though that I am not quite sure it is true to say she is trailblazing on this. Many women, I including Harry's aunt and cousin have been open about their experiences.and all deserve praise for bringing understanding to difficilt topics.

As for the rest. Could t be further from the truth. They pay far too much attention to these things.

[QueenMathilde]

So did they do anything for Thanksgiving that I missed? Served food or something?

[TLLK]

I believe that they would have celebrated Thanksgiving today with their favorite traditional foods. However I expect that they kept the party small due to Coronavirus restrictions.

[Betsypaige]

I'm certainly not surprised....

“[Prince] Charles has been supporting Harry and Meghan during their time of grief,” a source exclusively tells Us Weekly. “There is a great sadness around the royal family for Harry and Meghan.”

Buckingham Palace tells Us that the couple’s pregnancy loss is “a deeply personal matter.”

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity...r-miscarriage/


There's also this:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/meghan...es-with-royals

Originally Posted by QueenMathilde

So did they do anything for Thanksgiving that I missed? Served food or something?

“They are going to have a quiet dinner at home and are looking forward to celebrating their first American Thanksgiving in the States as a family,” royal reporter Omid Scobie tweeted. “They plan to enjoy a homecooked meal with traditional Thanksgiving dishes, including recipes made with fresh vegetable from their garden.”

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity...r-miscarriage/

[Somebody]

Weren't they in the States last year as well celebrating Thanksgiving as a family? So, that would make it the second time?!

[TLLK]

Originally Posted by Somebody

Weren't they in the States last year as well celebrating Thanksgiving as a family? So, that would make it the second time?!

Last year I believe they would have been in Canada for (American) Thanksgiving.

[TLLK]

Originally Posted by Betsypaige

I'm certainly not surprised....



https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity...r-miscarriage/


There's also this:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/meghan...es-with-royals

Neither am I.

[Betsypaige]

Originally Posted by TLLK

Neither am I.

The idea that Harry’s family wouldn’t be there for he and Meghan never even entered my mind. Whatever issues there have been, they are family; I’m glad Harry and Meghan are allowing themselves to be comforted ...

[UglyAmerican]

Originally Posted by Kataryn

And for Meghan, being biracial herself, the killings of black people by the police is a deeply disturbing thing and I don't think she feels ok when she thinks about that. She doesn't feel ok when she thinks about the management of the pandemic and how it badly affected so many people. The miscarriage was her very personal low in 2020 but there are other things to mention, things that could have gone easier on a lot of people if only we all responded in kindness and with the willingness to help.

Originally Posted by Duchess of Wakanda

Two - George Floyd and Breonna Taylor’s death were traumatic and painful for many people. When people who look like you and are killed for no other reason reason than they look like you, it will do something to your soul - and the fact that we were dealing with a soul crushing pandemic with the deceased into the 100,000s, a global recession, and (in this country) a divisive political situation made it ten times worse.

I think treating those things as equivalent to a miscarriage illustrates the problem with this her expectations, though. Sympathizing with someone who’s had a miscarriage is a no-brainer if you’re close enough to have any kind of emotional connection with that person. There’s not room for any factual or moral disagreement about whether they had a miscarriage or whether having a miscarriage is sad. But if you ask someone “Are you ok?” and the answer you get is something politically loaded like “No, I’m not ok because Trump’s challenging the election in court and it would be horrible if he won” or “No, because the police keep shooting black people” or “No, because if we’d done XYZ differently fewer people would have died of covid,” many people are going to disagree with the factual truth of those statements. Many others will disagree on what should be done about it even if the statements are true.

That doesn’t mean she’s wrong to believe what she believes or feel whatever she feels based on those beliefs. But it means it’s not realistic to expect others to respond to someone's sadness about those things the same way they would to someone's sadness about having a miscarriage. That’s why I don’t understand her including all those other issues in the piece. If she happened upon someone sobbing on a street corner, asked them “What’s wrong?” and they said “I’m sad because Trump lost,” I don’t think her response would be “There, there… How can I help you heal?” And it shouldn’t be. That’s an appropriate response to a personal tragedy, but not to a disagreement about politics or current events.

[evolvingdoors]

Originally Posted by UglyAmerican

I think treating those things as equivalent to a miscarriage illustrates the problem with this her expectations, though. Sympathizing with someone who’s had a miscarriage is a no-brainer if you’re close enough to have any kind of emotional connection with that person. There’s not room for any factual or moral disagreement about whether they had a miscarriage or whether having a miscarriage is sad. But if you ask someone “Are you ok?” and the answer you get is something politically loaded like “No, I’m not ok because Trump’s challenging the election in court and it would be horrible if he won” or “No, because the police keep shooting black people” or “No, because if we’d done XYZ differently fewer people would have died of covid,” many people are going to disagree with the factual truth of those statements. Many others will disagree on what should be done about it even if the statements are true.

That doesn’t mean she’s wrong to believe what she believes or feel whatever she feels based on those beliefs. But it means it’s not realistic to expect others to respond to someone's sadness about those things the same way they would to someone's sadness about having a miscarriage. That’s why I don’t understand her including all those other issues in the piece. If she happened upon someone sobbing on a street corner, asked them “What’s wrong?” and they said “I’m sad because Trump lost,” I don’t think her response would be “There, there… How can I help you heal?” And it shouldn’t be. That’s an appropriate response to a personal tragedy, but not to a disagreement about politics or current events.

You just captured perfectly! my misgivings about the letter and those aspects of its content.


"That’s why I don’t understand her including all those other issues in the piece"
To me, reading the letter and thinking about it, it almost feels like the miscarriage is the added on to the letter. I know it sounds bad, and i'm not accusing her of anything, this is simply my personal reflection on it.

[cathy50]

Originally Posted by evolvingdoors

You just captured perfectly! my misgivings about the letter and those aspects of its content.


"That’s why I don’t understand her including all those other issues in the piece"
To me, reading the letter and thinking about it, it almost feels like the miscarriage is the added on to the letter. I know it sounds bad, and i'm not accusing her of anything, this is simply my personal reflection on it.

Yes, I cannot always express in English what I think, but agree very much.
There is another point, they do not share the positive things but now the sad news, is this the plan ? I do know some UK journalists who felt very mocked about Archie's pregnancy/birth .... being given wrong information....
and now? Though the fact itself it sad, the news is , too, another piece if "hello, we are the poorest, everybody is against us, hej take a look...." just like the africa interview. and to compare a miscarriage(horrible word) with a person killed has it's own quality and the folks of the murdered have their own feelings about it.
it's not ok and they use the "taboo" for their own business and unfortunately the , considered negative, reactions will give them confirmation of their far from reality narcissm characters.
and the press already makes new stories up, making money of course only, asking" uhh, look at Meghan in August, wasn't she tough working with the schoolchildren after her loss"..... nice tool to make up an image.... very old tactic to find excuses afterwards...
the game will go on.
by the way the BRF has dine a lot to fill the void, putting mire and more emphasis on women's subjects meghan surely would habe picked up, Sophie is very much in it.. and being in the news with it, another tool to fresh up one's image-it's a big game after all. only the RF still seem to serve the country and the Sussex couple their own purse&fame.

seems as if the wide parts of US society is still very behind the european countries',
a stigma, really? how odd is this, same country in which vips have surrogate mothers not to ruin their bodies?

[RoyalNight]

To those who follow the reportas and reactions to M&H's łosoś. Are there voices critisizing the RF for not offering public support? Do people expect the RF to say something publicly?

[muriel]

Originally Posted by RoyalNight

To those who follow the reportas and reactions to M&H's łosoś. Are there voices critisizing the RF for not offering public support? Do people expect the RF to say something publicly?

Speaking as a British person, I can tell you that I would not expect the BRF to publicly offer support. We see it as a private matter. Any support provided would have been done so privately, outside the public gaze, and at the time of the incident, rather than when it was publicised.

[Denville]

Originally Posted by RoyalNight

To those who follow the reportas and reactions to M&H's łosoś. Are there voices critisizing the RF for not offering public support? Do people expect the RF to say something publicly?

I cant imagine why anyone woudl expect the RF to make a public statement about a private matter....