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  #1101  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Terri Terri View Post
I'm sorry....but I am laughing so hard! If the PDA demonstrated by Meghan and Harry demonstrates "get a room" type behavior...then some people are having very boring and prudish love lives.

And if you are so offended....then that's YOUR problem!! Not Harry or Meghan's. Why should they change their actions because there are those who don't like it?

Clearly, this young royal couple see it as showing support and protection towards each other. There is no crime.

If you are oh so highly offended...then don't watch. Simple!
This and more. They hold hands, big freaking whop!

PDA to me means kissing, having their tongues down each other's throat, fondling each other, etc. Holding hands or placing a hand on the back to calm someone's nerves is not PDA.

And let's face it, there are tons of other couples, especially those of the younger generations who do way more than Harry and Meghan, and it's considered "cute." GMAFB with over exaggeration of behaviour that is excused by many but condemned for these two.
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  #1102  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Terri Terri View Post
I'm sorry....but I am laughing so hard! If the PDA demonstrated by Meghan and Harry demonstrates "get a room" type behavior...then some people are having very boring and prudish love lives.

And if you are so offended....then that's YOUR problem!! Not Harry or Meghan's. Why should they change their actions because there are those who don't like it?

Clearly, this young royal couple see it as showing support and protection towards each other. There is no crime.

If you are oh so highly offended...then don't watch. Simple!



It could be a cultural difference but in the US things like hand holding is not considered PDA. It is standard that political husband and wives show support. President Obama and Michelle Obama always held hands and in the US it was viewed favorably to see them holding hands, hug or small pecks on the cheek. For the US PDA involves tongue kissing or groping. Hand holding, back rubs or pats, moon eyes are all acceptable for political figures.


Its funny how Harry who has always been emotional, always hugging, even kissing fans on the lips for YEARS but now all of the sudden people have amnesia?! This is Harry, did we think he would all of the sudden become the reserved prince the Grey men want him to be??
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  #1103  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:22 PM
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To me it speaks of neediness, of insecurity..
Yet we are assured the Duchess is very FAR from these things.. 'Confident', 'used to attention' and 'well versed' in Public life...
  #1104  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by HereditaryPrincess View Post
This is quite a trivial matter (the media must be bored!) though I'm just going to chime in with that I'm sure that the Sussex's advisors or assistants who travel with them on tours and engagements would speak to them if their behaviour towards one another is too intimate.
I agree that aides, assistants, and advisors could and should say something but then we’re back to the “would they listen?” argument and the whole circle continues.

It’s pretty clear, though, that we’ve wondered into that “It’s the Harry and Meghan Show” territory that means no one should dare have orvexpeess an impression or opinion that is less than completely complimentary and even after all these years I still don’t understand that. Sure, everyone has their favorite royal or royal couple but these are people and imperfect people at that so I really still don’t understand the complete unwillingness to admit that just maybe they’ve taken this “newlywed affection” or any other behavior a bit too far. I daresay we’ve all needed to be told at one tune or another that we needed to change or dial back a behavior. The only difference here is that no one is ever supppsed to believe that that might be needed from Harry and Meghan.
  #1105  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by wyevale View Post
To me it speaks of neediness, of insecurity..
Yet we are assured the Duchess is very FAR from these things.. 'Confident', 'used to attention' and 'well versed' in Public life...
I feel like showing affection like holding hands being seen as neediness or insecurity is very similar to people talking about their problems being seen as weak. I just don't understand it, I guess. Do coldness and distant define strength and power to some?

BTW, why is Meghan being singled out here? Isn't Harry holding her hand as much as she is holding his? I do notice this is something often being used against women. Not just here.
  #1106  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
Harry is very open about how he feels..always has been. Hardly a surprise to see him being affectionate in public with his wife. I think partly their touch is to reassure each other. Harry was/is concerned that Meghan is not overwhelmed with this very unexpected turn her life has taken...on top of not being a Brit and being unfamiliar with how that society really works she's married into a family with it's own history and well they are Royals..life in the fishbowl. Plus she's married and pregnant within 6 months.

Then there is the specter of Diana and all that happened to her..they grew up with a front row seat to it.

So yeah..he's wanting to make sure she is getting along okay. She knows he's very invested that she be happy/secure/safe and is reassuring him back. Plus geez ..maybe they really love each other and are so happy they can't hardly believe their luck?


Frankly I'd rather see this hand holding, arm rub/shoulder rub in passing than the very unhappy behavior we have seen in the past. No one wants a repeat of his parents.


LaRae
Exactly! I think we should be happy and celebrating that the young members of the royal family have found such happiness in life. We’ve seen many of their parents be happy for a moment and the rest went down hill pretty fast. Let’s cherish these good times in the Sussex’s life as husband and wife and future dad and mom. Let’s not dampen the beauty we see before us. The very second all this ❤️ go away ( I pray it don’t) then folks will have a problem and the endless debates and rumors will start up.
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  #1107  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:32 PM
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Presidents and first ladies hold hands....does that make them insecure and needy? It just means they want to hold hands. Nothing more or less.
  #1108  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:33 PM
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As I said further up the thread, I hope Meghan and Harry dial it back a bit, but I've never thought they crossed over into "get a room" territory, and can't imagine they would. It was kind of cute at first, but I also think that they are working, and a little restraint would be nice. They aren't celebrities, they are working royals, and while the occasional pat or hand holding is very sweet and humanizing, when it's constant it has the effect of taking attention away from the events or causes that they are supposed to be representing. I suppose it could be a cultural or generational thing, as AlowVera points out, above.
  #1109  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Terri Terri View Post
Presidents and first ladies hold hands....does that make them insecure and needy? It just means they want to hold hands. Nothing more or less.
No, it makes them American political figures, which Harry and Meghan are not. I think that may be what this divide boils down to, as other posters have pointed out: the BRF operates in certain ways, and exuberant displays of affection between spouses while they are on public engagements has not been the norm, and so it is noticeable when Meghan and Harry appear to be in constant physical contact with each other. It's not bad, it's not terrible, it doesn't make them awful people, but it is something that catches your attention, and whether an observer thinks it is appropriate or not may depend on expectations, background and perspective. It's a legitimate thing to notice and have an opinion on, and a legitimate thing to have differing opinions on.
  #1110  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Ista View Post
As I said further up the thread, I hope Meghan and Harry dial it back a bit, but I've never thought they crossed over into "get a room" territory, and can't imagine they would. It was kind of cute at first, but I also think that they are working, and a little restraint would be nice. They aren't celebrities, they are working royals, and while the occasional pat or hand holding is very sweet and humanizing, when it's constant it has the effect of taking attention away from the events or causes that they are supposed to be representing. I suppose it could be a cultural or generational thing, as AlowVera points out, above.
But I'm not sure what attention it has taken away from. Their causes and advocacy have gotten a lot of attention. What they did in Australia, Fiji, Tonga, and NZ received a lot of attention. Obviously PDA did play a part in the story, but I wouldn't go say it took attention away from the cause. The same argument can be made about women's clothes on those trips. Should the royal ladies just not wear nice clothes as well? I think those that are only interested in those things will only pay attention to those things, but skip the issues part regardless. But their issues do get plenty of attention.

Patrcia Treble, who wrote the article, talked about her surprise at the lack of big deal over Meghan's speeches (3 in 5 days) that led her to write this, but I don't think those had anything to do with holding hands with her husband. One, none of us were surprised by them. It's not the first time we've heard Meghan giving a speech compared to other royal spouses. Just like her first solo engagement to the Oceania exhibit didn't turn out to be as big of a deal simply because we know she's got this. We know she can give a speech well. Even for those that didn't follow her pre-Harry, a lot of people have seen the videos since. It's not something that we have doubted before. Emily Andrews also commented on the logistics problems on this. I saw plenty of articles online, but it's true that it didn't make as many covers. What she pointed out is that by the time she submitted her article, the cut off has ended. It made some second editions, but the circulation for those are limited.

I get that this is something people will have opinions on based on what they are comfortable with, but I don't think it ventures into anything serious. It's like some people complaining about her rubbing her belly. Personally, I have no opinions on it either way. I feel like either way it's the mother's prerogative as she's the one growing a human being in her body. However, some find it very problematic. But again, I chuckle when people think it's a problem other than what the royal's personal preference is.
  #1111  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:54 PM
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  #1112  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
I feel like showing affection like holding hands being seen as neediness or insecurity is very similar to people talking about their problems being seen as weak. I just don't understand it, I guess. Do coldness and distant define strength and power to some?
I honestly don’t believe that anyone expect them to be cold and distant, just not constantly physically affectionate. There has to be a happy medium.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ista View Post
As I said further up the thread, I hope Meghan and Harry dial it back a bit, but I've never thought they crossed over into "get a room" territory, and can't imagine they would. It was kind of cute at first, but I also think that they are working, and a little restraint would be nice. They aren't celebrities, they are working royals, and while the occasional pat or hand holding is very sweet and humanizing, when it's constant it has the effect of taking attention away from the events or causes that they are supposed to be representing. I suppose it could be a cultural or generational thing, as AlowVera points out, above.
Totally agree with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ista View Post
No, it makes them American political figures, which Harry and Meghan are not. I think that may be what this divide boils down to, as other posters have pointed out: the BRF operates in certain ways, and exuberant displays of affection between spouses while they are on public engagements has not been the norm, and so it is noticeable when Meghan and Harry appear to be in constant physical contact with each other. It's not bad, it's not terrible, it doesn't make them awful people, but it is something that catches your attention, and whether an observer thinks it is appropriate or not may depend on expectations, background and perspective. It's a legitimate thing to notice and have an opinion on, and a legitimate thing to have differing opinions on.
Exactly. I really think many of the differing opinions are due to our own personal backgrounds. While I’m roughly the same age as the Sussexes (35), I was raised in an environment where only a bit of handholding would be tolerated and only the smallest of occasional PDAs might not be remarked upon when it came to public and professional settings. Private settings where a different matter but in public we were expected to be dignified, calm, and not overly touchy feely. While no one would have negatively viewed a hand on the back or an occasional handhold, it definitely would be frowned upon to be constantly clinging to someone’s arm or constantly holding hands or resting hands on another’s knees or legs. Again, that’s in public and that’s different than private settings. I suspect this is quite different from the “California-type” lifestyle that Meghan was raised in.
  #1113  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:06 PM
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I don't think this is specifically California, so let's not single them out like that. There are PLENTY of places where I'd say holding hands is not unusual. It's really up to the couple on whether or not they WANT to hold hands. Far less to do with location.
  #1114  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
I feel like showing affection like holding hands being seen as neediness or insecurity is very similar to people talking about their problems being seen as weak. I just don't understand it, I guess. Do coldness and distant define strength and power to some?

BTW, why is Meghan being singled out here? Isn't Harry holding her hand as much as she is holding his? I do notice this is something often being used against women. Not just here.

That is another part of the narrative that says its only Meghan who holds hands why ignoring the times Harry has reach for her hand or the times he has massaged her back. It is part of the inherent sexism that exists in society when it comes to celebrity men.
  #1115  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post

BTW, why is Meghan being singled out here? Isn't Harry holding her hand as much as she is holding his? I do notice this is something often being used against women. Not just here.
Could you point out to me where Meghan is being singled out? I apologize if I missed it, but I'm really not remembering where this happened on this thread. If you are referencing the tabloid media, then I'm in complete agreement that that's a fearsome double standard.
  #1116  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Ista View Post
Could you point out to me where Meghan is being singled out? I apologize if I missed it, but I'm really not remembering where this happened on this thread. If you are referencing the tabloid media, then I'm in complete agreement that that's a fearsome double standard.
Wyewale said it says neediness and insecurity (or something along those lines) and then goes on about how he's being assured by people here that it's not how Meghan is. So I'm assuming he was speaking of Meghan.

And yes, the tone is constant in the media world. I'm not even going to say tabloid world since it's not limited to there. Legitimate media outlets have had the same tone at times. Maybe not as obvious, but it's certainly there. Where it's always Meghan that's clinging to Harry nevermind the fact that Harry often reaches out to hold her hand. I believe we discussed this during the tour discussions as well.
  #1117  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
Wyewale said it says neediness and insecurity (or something along those lines) and then goes on about how he's being assured by people here that it's not how Meghan is.
Ah, I see. For what it's worth, I didn't read his comment that way.
  #1118  
Old 11-30-2018, 06:14 PM
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Hard to believe there are very many people unwilling to cut a break for a newly wed pair expecting a baby... and the mother-to-be is a ‘stranger in a strange land’, married into a firm as well as into a family...thousands of miles from her mother, and from all her old friends...constantly under surveillance when in public...at a stage of life (pregnancy) during which your hormones swing your emotions from tears to elation and back again...and some people pretend to be offended by a little handholding and back patting! I’m sorry for the lack of empathy expressed by those people—it’s kinda sad. Perhaps Prince George can eventually marry a robot.
IMO
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  #1119  
Old 11-30-2018, 06:16 PM
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I just prefer that Harry and Meghan feel free to just be themselves. They're not marionettes on a string dancing to anyone's tune but their own. They're a wonderful couple together and that is really all that matters in the long run.
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  #1120  
Old 11-30-2018, 06:33 PM
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I just prefer that Harry and Meghan feel free to just be themselves. They're not marionettes on a string dancing to anyone's tune but their own. They're a wonderful couple together and that is really all that matters in the long run.
Pretty much this as the bottom line for me.
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