Engagement & Marriage of Princess Mako and Kei Komuro: September 2017 - 2021

[Reinosa]

It's true. Here's the Asahi English article published on October 11

No progress over financial issues, says ex-fiance of Komuro’s mother | The Asahi Shimbun

Thanks Prisma.

 

[yukari]

(...)

As for the honorific -sama, it's more respectful than -san so -sama is typically used when addressing customers, "everyone" (mina-sama), royalty, or gods (kami-sama), etc. Yes, it can be applied to anyone but not normally. People wouldn't call a friend "Jane-sama" or "Smith-sama" except perhaps as a joke.

Yup. Even it'd be weird to call a close friend with -san.

Just want to add:
It's not really about the person, but more like the relation/association with the person.
For example, there's a teacher and her name is Honda Rika. Her students and their parents and some people call her "Honda-sensei" some other "Rika-sensei". When she attends high school reunion, some former classmates call her "Rika" (without honorific), some with "Rika-chan", there's also some who address her with just "Honda" (all of it indicates how close they are/were with Rika), some of underclassmates call her "Honda-san" some other "Honda-senpai" or "Rika-senpai". Her former judo mentor might still call her "Rika-kun" or "Honda-kun" (yes, -kun can be used for female too) and employee at a shop her family has been patron for years might call her "Rika-sama". So you have one person being address with various honorific.

Btw, when conversing in Japanese, subject and object are mostly omitted so the honorific might not appear much in conversation, but more in the word choice being used.

 

[Prisma]

Thanks! Most of my exposure to honorifics are through anime
Of course, omitting any honorific is a big deal. Mako and Kei were asked what they called each other at the unofficial engagement press conference in 2017. A similar question was asked of Princess Ayako and Kei Moriya in 2018. I think they said they called each other Kei-san and Ayako-san.

JAPAN Forward provided English translation of opening remarks and highlights of written responses to 5 pre-submitted questions:

Q&A with Princess Mako, Kei Komuro: Sad that Media Passes Off False Information as Fact | JAPAN Forward

[...]

On foregoing Mako’s imperial status
Mako:
Hardly any time has passed since this morning. So I think that I will sense the fact of becoming a common member of society, either at the end of today or tomorrow, at the earliest. It’s difficult to express how you feel regarding something that has happened to you only a few hours before.

When I was part of the imperial family, I was protected and supported. And, thanks to that, I am aware of the positive thoughts from everyone. I was blessed with meeting many people in those times. Every memory is a treasure, and I can’t pick one which is particularly more so than another.

Regarding the plan going forward, it’s personal so I would like to avoid details. But I would like to build an environment where I can have positive memories, and create a warm household. However, this is not something to consult with others to achieve.

I hope that I can have a life which is fulfilling. There are many things that make me uneasy about moving to a new environment. The biggest worry is that either me or my family, or Kei’s family, might still be attacked with slander going forward.

Regarding the question of what relationship I plan to have with my family, what I can say is that as a singular individual, I plan to pray for the happiness of the imperial family.

[...]

On criticism that Kei Komuro used the imperial family for admission to Fordham University
Kei Komuro:
I did not use the title of “princess’ fiancé” to be admitted to the university, nor did I have “special treatment as her fiancé.”

Fordham University’s admission policy stipulates that admission qualifications are not limited to law graduates, but that they must have received an equivalent legal education. In my case, Fordham University School of Law accepted me on the basis of the law studies that I completed before I entered law school. That is why my application was accepted.

The tuition exemption scholarship was decided based on a comprehensive evaluation of my case, including the grades I submitted. In the admissions process, I never mentioned that I am “Princess Mako’s fiancé.”

I did explain the situation that the Japanese media may contact the university and could cause an inconvenience, after the admission decision. Regarding the description of me on the university’s website [which mentions the engagement to Princess Mako], it was decided by the university after comprehensively considering the situation.

[...]

Did the family not attend her wedding?

Err, there wasn't much to attend... Mako and Kei filled out the marriage registration form, 2 witnesses completed their sections, and Mako probably completed the form to register with Kei Komuro in Japan's family registry "koseki." IHA staff submitted the paperwork on behalf of the couple to the municipal office and it was accepted. They're married. I guess the marriage registration form was completed when Kei visited on October 24.

Princess Kako went to the hotel where the press event was held to support Mako.

ETA: Marriage press conference marked by unusual factors - The Japan News

[...]

Only the Imperial household press club is invited to press conferences for birthdays of the Emperor and Crown Prince Akishino. But this time, the Imperial Household Agency called for the participation of the magazine association and the foreign press as well, after consulting with Mako and Kei, because the press conference would be held after Mako became a commoner.

A precedent for that framework was the November 2005 marriage of the daughter of the Emperor Emeritus and the Empress Emerita, Sayako Kuroda, in which the mood at the press conference was warm.

A senior official of the Imperial Household Agency commented on how the press conference turned out after many twists and turns: “[The former princess] was going to answer verbally, but she seems to have thought it would be impossible. We apologize for the mental strain this has placed on her.”

ETA: Opinion: Crown Prince Akishino took great pains to ensure marriage of former Princess Mako - The Mainichi

[...]

In fact, Crown Prince Akishino had voiced this view to those around him on countless occasions, ever since news outlets reported on the unofficial engagement of the then princess, now Mako Komuro, to Kei Komuro in May 2017. He has consistently stuck to the idea that as long as the pair wish to marry, their union cannot be disapproved of.

[...]

Crown Prince Akishino had been seeking to resolve the financial dispute ever since, but the issue remains unsettled. He subsequently decided to not proceed with the engagement or marriage ceremonies, as he judged that the marriage would not be accepted and celebrated by most of the public. Mako also refused a lump sum usually paid to female Imperial Household members who leave the family upon marriage. The recent union is an extraordinary one for an Imperial Family member, involving only the submission of a marriage registration.

The Imperial Household should have the public's best interests at heart. The activities of the Imperial Family and the postwar system that deems the emperor "the symbol of the State" are built upon the understanding and support of the Japanese public. What would have happened if the traditional rites had been approved even as many voices continued to criticize Mako's marriage? Crown Prince Akishino's decision to not carry out the rites must have been an agonizing one as a father.

[...]

 

[Prinsara]

But honorific is a personal choice.
Often -sama is used for a guest (hotel/ryokan guests) or customer. -sama is not exclusively associated to royal, it's just more flattering than -san.
In a, say, conference or some formal event, the emcee or coordinator often use "mina-sama" instead of "mina-san" to call everyone or something like "ladies and gentlemen" in the beginning of a speech (come to think of it, "mina-san" does sound a bit informal/too casual in some occasion).

Edit:
Out of topic of the thread, but here is a bit about honorific
https://gogonihon.com/en/blog/sama-san-kun-chan-the-many-japanese-honorifics/

If you happen to be at an airport in Japan or board a Japanese flight, you might catch airport personnel or flight attendant addressing passenger as "okyaku-sama", basically mean "sir/ma'am/dear passenger".

Thank you for explaining the honorifics concept to those who don't speak and understand Japanese. I do, and I regret I asked. Not living in Japan, I simply wanted to know if there was anyone else who was addressed as "-sama" on the news, not as minna-sama or okyaku-sama or by a fan. No one has managed to answer that.

 

[Reinosa]

What is the name of Kei's mother ex fiancé?

 

[Princess B]

I have a question, not that I wish for it to happen.
In case of a divorce, Mako will no longer be married to a commoner. Can she then be reinstated as a member of the Imperial family?

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

I have a question, not that I wish for it to happen.
In case of a divorce, Mako will no longer be married to a commoner. Can she then be reinstated as a member of the Imperial family?

My guess is: out is out. Unless she remarries a legal male agnate of the imperial family.

Look at Princess Irene of the Netherlands: out of the Royal House when she married Prince Carlos Hugo de Bourbon de Parme in 1964. But she did not return in the Royal House when she divorced in 1981.

 

[Tatiana Maria]

I have a question, not that I wish for it to happen.
In case of a divorce, Mako will no longer be married to a commoner. Can she then be reinstated as a member of the Imperial family?

No, that is not possible under the Imperial House Law. The only means for a non-member to become a member of the Imperial Family is by marriage to a male member.

http://www.kunaicho.go.jp/e-kunaicho/hourei-01.html

Article 15. Any person outside the Imperial Family and his or her descendants shall not become a member thereof except in the cases where a female becomes Empress or marries a member of the Imperial Family.​

Thank you for explaining the honorifics concept to those who don't speak and understand Japanese. I do, and I regret I asked. Not living in Japan, I simply wanted to know if there was anyone else who was addressed as "-sama" on the news, not as minna-sama or okyaku-sama or by a fan. No one has managed to answer that.

Nonetheless, there are probably other readers who interpreted your question in the same fashion and were interested in knowing the answer, so it is still beneficial that you asked and yukari answered, even though it was not clear that by "referred to formally" you were specifically referring to media reports. Unfortunately, it is possible that few if any posters consume non-royal news coverage in Japanese to the extent that they can pronounce definitively that no other individuals (foreign royals?) are ever referred to as "-sama" by newscasters.

 

[Happiness Always]

Just creating drama where there is none...

I bet if Mako and Kei have 5 children, all boys, there will be bending of the rules or some other shenanigans behind the scenes to have the Komuros part of the Imperial Family


Wishing Mako and Kei a quiet life.

 

[HenRach Dominion]

I bet if Mako and Kei have 5 children, all boys, there will be bending of the rules or some other shenanigans behind the scenes to have the Komuros part of the Imperial Family


Wishing Mako and Kei a quiet life.

I thought the same thing. It would be funny if Mrs. Komuro had five boys straight when it took about four decades for a boy to be born in the Japanese Imperial Family proper.

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

I thought the same thing. It would be funny if Mrs. Komuro had five boys straight when it took about four decades for a boy to be born in the Japanese Imperial Family proper.

But then it are Komuros and no male agnatic descendants of the Sun Goddess Ameratsu, the imperial stock, so to say.

 

[crm2317]

Is there reasoning behind why it’s ok for male members of the imperial family to marry a commoner and not a female member?

 

[Tatiana Maria]

As CrownPrincessJava mentioned, there is an entire thread for questions and discussion about rules and issues of membership in the imperial family.

Succession and Membership Issues

Is there reasoning behind why it’s ok for male members of the imperial family to marry a commoner and not a female member?

It is considered to be very much ok for female members to marry commoners. After the cadet branches of the imperial family were pruned and the nobility abolished in 1947, there are realistically no other options for them to marry.

Marrying a working-class commoner with no family connections to the former nobility and/or the upper class, as with Kei Komuro, is more controversial, as we have seen. I am not sure if there is a double standard for male members, as none of the wives of male members since 1947 has come from a working-class background. That said, there have been no marriages of male members at all since 1993, and it remains to be seen how strict the public expectations will be as to Hisahito's wife's family background.

 

[Sunnystar]

Marrying a working-class commoner with no family connections to the former nobility and/or the upper class, as with Kei Komuro, is more controversial, as we have seen. I am not sure if there is a double standard for male members, as none of the wives of male members since 1947 has come from a working-class background. That said, there have been no marriages of male members at all since 1993, and it remains to be seen how strict the public expectations will be as to Hisahito's wife's family background.

Do we really think that Hisahito is going to even be allowed to socialize with people outside of the former nobility/upper classes? I suspect after this entire episode with Mako that Hisahito's social circle is going to be so tightly controlled he simply won't have an opportunity to be more than nominally acquainted with anyone from a working class background.

 

[rominet09]

Every place in life brings it's own unpleasant duties but I really don't envy people born in the Japan Royal Family. No amount of wealth can console anyone.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

What kind of surprises me is the attitude of the Japanese people toward this marriage and Kei Komuro himself. He is one of them...a working class commoner...yet there is absolutely none of the public support or warmth one would see in Western Europe toward a member of the Royal family falling in love with an "unsuitable" commoner.

Young and old, most Japanese feel that Her Imperial Highness let down the side.

Everyone is blaming the IHA and Japanese media for opposition to the union....but what about the Japanese public?

Thank goodness Daniel Westling fell in love with SWEDISH princess, is the first thing that comes to mind.

 

[Heavs]

What kind of surprises me is the attitude of the Japanese people toward this marriage and Kei Komuro himself. He is one of them...a working class commoner...yet there is absolutely none of the public support or warmth one would see in Western Europe toward a member of the Royal family falling in love with an "unsuitable" commoner.

Young and old, most Japanese feel that Her Imperial Highness let down the side.

Everyone is blaming the IHA and Japanese media for opposition to the union....but what about the Japanese public?

Thank goodness Daniel Westling fell in love with SWEDISH princess, is the first thing that comes to mind.

Hmm. I'm not so sure it was that different at times. Although the financial issue itself seems much smaller compared to say Maxima's family background and other family members of married ins in general.

There were still people mocking Daniel as the country bumpkin and "personal trainer, tut, what a scandal" at the wedding, with stories going around that CG broke with Swedish tradition to walk his daughter down the aisle to show Swedish people that he approved of the match because everyone assumed he didn't. And a similar thing happened with Sofia. Both seem to have now proven themselves but it wasn't automatic or "working class heroes" from the start.

And lets not forget the decade of "Kate MiddleClass" by middle class and working class journalists mocking her family background, her mother's Perivale upbringing, coal miners and acting like she really was "Gypsy Kate" (The Windsors) because her parents were self made. And plenty of talk that William was only with her because every aristo girl turned him down. Of course when the engagement was actually announced that mostly went away but it still lingers in some places.

Mike Tindall even said his grandmother didn't approve of him marrying Zara at first because he was middle class from working class ancestry and that was her own grandson who was accomplished and famous in his own right.

Of course there was never any question of Kei becoming even like Mike (on the balcony for special occasions) let alone like Kate or Daniel. So interest in their marriage in general would probably be lower that the ones who were going to become working royals.

We also don't know how he would have been perceived by the Japanese public if the former fiance had not come forward and the original engagement and marriage had continued as planned even though Mako was still marrying someone from a very different background to the men her aunt and cousins married.

ETA And the reason a lot of people are placing more blame on the IHA than the public is because however many polls are taken the public don't actually have any power to prevent or delay the marriage to the extent that it was, although COVID probably played a part.

 

[Denville]

What kind of surprises me is the attitude of the Japanese people toward this marriage and Kei Komuro himself. He is one of them...a working class commoner...yet there is absolutely none of the public support or warmth one would see in Western Europe toward a member of the Royal family falling in love with an "unsuitable" commoner.

Young and old, most Japanese feel that Her Imperial Highness let down the side.

Everyone is blaming the IHA and Japanese media for opposition to the union....but what about the Japanese public?

Thank goodness Daniel Westling fell in love with SWEDISH princess, is the first thing that comes to mind.

I'd imagine that because the Japanese IF is very much restricted by etiquette and not flexible, that's why there has been this reaction that she's let hte side down. of course there is alwasy snobbery about a Prince/ess marrying someone of middle or working class origins

 

[MichaelB]

Princess Mako and her new husband ‘will live in a one-bedroom New York apartment’ after Japanese royal leaves imperial estate in Tokyo


Imperial Household Agency head calls for privacy for ex-Princess Mako after marriage

There have been a series of reports in weekly magazines and other media about Mako's marriage that could be described as attacks. Nishimura said that it would be difficult to respond to each and every report even if they contained errors, but added, "The Imperial Household Agency would like to study the appropriate way to disseminate information."

Japan's Princess Mako weds, then goes on TV to defend the marriage

It was all too much for Ken Ruoff, a historian who directs the center for Japanese Studies at Portland State University and has written a history of the modern Japanese monarchy. He called the national handwringing over Mako's marriage "bizarre" and reckons it's driven mostly by events well beyond the walls of the palace.

"There is a lot of angst among Japanese about the pandemic, about growing economic inequality, about the fact that the economy has been largely stagnant, about the rise of China," he told CBS News in an online interview. "And very sadly, they're turning this anger tragically against … this young couple." (...)

Unlike Harry and Meghan, Ruoff said, Mako's demure and highly stage-managed upbringing make, say, an Oprah interview or Netflix deal unlikely. "More likely, what is going to happen is she's going to disappear and she's going to purposefully just disappear."

Japanese Princess Mako’s Marriage Story Isn’t Just About Love. It’s About Freedom.

Kae Sunagawa, who knows Princess Mako from university, said she related immensely to the princess’ struggles. From an early age, Sunagawa learned that to be a good woman was to know how to cook and do house chores, values she strongly resisted. Also having grown up in an affluent family, she said she was expected to marry well.
“When I introduced my parents to an ex-boyfriend of mine, who was only a high school graduate, they didn’t receive him well. They were cold, and that made me disappointed in them,” she told VICE World News.

She said she feels for Princess Mako also for marrying at the age of 30, which she described as a point of great “stress.” In Japan, “Christmas Cake” is often used as a metaphor for an “unmarriageable” woman because she’s over 25 and past the supposed prime of her youth.
“Given her age, and her inability to freely date, it adds a lot of pressure. I’ve experienced the same thing as well,” she said. (...)

Akira Yamada, a professor at Meiji University who studies Japanese history and its imperial system (...) added that the royal family’s unique position in Japanese society—royalty being separate from the public and therefore not protected by the country’s constitution—meant they do not have the same human rights other Japanese people enjoy.

The situation was even more discriminatory for female royals, whom he said “were chased out of the imperial family if they married a commoner.”
“This is an extremely old way of thinking, centered on patriarchal standards, and it just doesn’t match our modern societal values of gender equality,” he said. (...)

She’ll live oceans apart from her family, Yamada said, but what she’s done for the Japanese people is immeasurable.
“There are many people in Japan who feel tormented by the fact they can’t speak freely, or marry whom they want. People who feel powerless. But Princess Mako’s actions by rejecting these pressures is sending a very strong message—that you can live for yourself,” Yamada said.

FOCUS: Princess Mako's marriage "warning sign" for Japan's imperial system

"Everybody will be holding their breath, waiting to see if Prince Hisahito can find a wife and have a son," Ruoff said, describing it as "an unbelievable burden on the shoulders of the prince." Ruoff said in an online interview with Kyodo News that Prince Hisahito might decide in the future that he does not want anything to do with imperial matters and may wish to leave for another country. "That would be a crisis" in maintaining Japan's monarchy, he added. (...)

Comparing the weight of their duties with this lack of freedom, being a member of the royal family is possibly "burdensome" except for those who strongly want to make a difference in the country, Ruoff said.
"Many things such as traveling abroad that used to be open only to the elite, which included the royal family members, are now open to a much broader group of people," Ruoff said, adding that the burdens outweigh the benefits of being a royal member.

An imperial agency official, who asked to remain anonymous, also said, "Not many people understand the fact that the imperial family members live with suppressed freedom and human rights."
In the eye of Japanese citizens, the imperial family has been a symbol of "morality" at the expense of their privacy and freedom, said Hideya Kawanishi, an associate professor at the Nagoya University Graduate School of Humanities who is an expert on imperial affairs.

 

[Muffin]

What is the name of Kei's mother ex fiancé?

I find it fascinating that the name and background of this "Ex-Fiance" is not widely reported. I can't find much in the newspaper articles. If this was in the US or UK, the tabloids (such as Daily Mail) or the gossip websites (TMZ.com) would have no problem naming him.

Since all the negativity stem from this "dispute", several things make me suspicious:

1) Why is this "Ex-Fiance" using a reporter as his representative/spokesperson instead of a lawyer? The reporter is not incentivized to end the dispute, the reporter would love to keep this going so they can keep writing negative articles and sell magazines.

2) Did the "Ex-Fiance" file paperwork with the courts to try to get his money back, since he supposedly asked for the money back in 2013, several years before the engagement between Mako and Komuro was announced in 2017. In the US, you can file in small claims court which has minimum court fees. Maybe this is not feasible in Japan?

3) The money dispute is a private matter. It does not sounds like there were paperwork signed or verbal agreement. When reporters were digging into Komuro's background, the "Ex-Fiance" could have said nothing, then no one would have known!

4) Did the IHA know about the money dispute before it was reported in the newspaper? The IHA does background check on potential spouses of members of the Imperial family. For example, they looked into Empress Masako's background and had concerns her grandfather's possible involvement with the Chisso corporation who dumped chemicals in the water and sicken people back in 1930s. Did the IHA know, but did not consider it important and let Mako announce the engagement. Then only pulled back when the public reacted negatively?

My theory is that the "Ex-fiance" was bitter about the breakup and had an axe to grind. He is jealous and petty. He can't stand to see Komuro or his mother being happy without him, so he has to interject himself into the story. Also, one of the things he asked for besides the money was to speak in person with Komuro's mother. Why? The relationship ended almost 10 years ago. Clearly this dispute is more than just the money, it is also about the Ex-fiance's ego and need for attention.

I'm glad that Komuro's mother has refused to meet with him. This is emotional blackmail.

I hope Mako and Kei Komuro will have a happy and peaceful life in NY. They both deserves it!

 

[rominet09]

I suppose we won't get anymore info about their new life and I really regret it, likeable and good looking little couple !

 

[yukari]

(...)Unfortunately, it is possible that few if any posters consume non-royal news coverage in Japanese to the extent that they can pronounce definitively that no other individuals (foreign royals?) are ever referred to as "-sama" by newscasters.

This is from William last visit to Japan.

If you can catch it, the newscaster refers him as William-ōji (王子, means "prince").

Honestly I've never paid attention on what or if the newscasters uses honorific. I'm sure I've heard -sama been said in news programme, but I can't recall whether it was by the newscaster or in an interview segment where someone refers someone else by -sama or it was a field reporter addressing a costumer in a dept store with "okyaku-sama" before interviewing them or a mina-sama from a recording of an event or simply an "otsukaresama" caught on camera. Similarly, I may notice that US press using a "Mr President" in an clip from White House press release but never take notice whether English speaking newscasters use Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms in their report. Because mostly I watch/listen news in passing while doing something else (eating, talking, cooking, etc) instead of sit down and have my full focus on the telly and listen word by word. And I'm too lazy to look through youtube clips to check, watch and listen, whether there's other channel newscasters (FujiTV, NHK, TBS; ANN is Asahi) use -sama or how they address other foreign royals in their news report .

And while we're talking about honorific, the couple refer they other with Kei-san and Mako-san. It could be that they only did it while in public and forgo the -san in private, but even though if they still call each other that way in private as husband and wife, it's also not uncommon. Typically a wife calls her husband with "anata" while the husband calls her by name (without honorific) or both call each other simply by name (then change into "oto-san" and "oka-san" after have children). But there's also case in a well-to-do household where spouses call the other with (name)-san or even some wives stick with surname-san (kind of Elizabeth Bennet still calling her husband Mr Darcy even after they're married).

 

[Prisma]

Komuro Kei's name not on NY bar exam pass list | NHK WORLD-JAPAN News

Komuro Kei, who recently married Japan's former Princess Mako, has not appeared on the list of candidates to have passed the New York State bar exam.

The New York State Board of Law Examiners posted the names of those who passed the July exam on its website on Friday.

The Board said it examined about 9,200 candidates, and nearly 5,800 succeeded. The overall pass rate was 63 percent.

[...]

July 2021 Exam Results

I'm not sure what this means for Kei's job. Some law firms give new hires another chance to pass the bar. The next bar exam is February 22-23.

On October 28th, the newlyweds visited the Driver's License Examination Center in Shinagawa, Tokyo. According to sources, Mako renewed her driver's license, updated her surname on the license, and is pursuing an international driver's license. She obtained a Japanese driver's license when she was in university.

 

[W.Y.CII]

What kind of surprises me is the attitude of the Japanese people toward this marriage and Kei Komuro himself. He is one of them...a working class commoner...yet there is absolutely none of the public support or warmth one would see in Western Europe toward a member of the Royal family falling in love with an "unsuitable" commoner.

From what I understand it's not about he is suitable, a commoner, a working class, having stable finance or not, but simply he seems suspicious because of all these controversial stories/rumours around him.

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

Do we really think that Hisahito is going to even be allowed to socialize with people outside of the former nobility/upper classes? I suspect after this entire episode with Mako that Hisahito's social circle is going to be so tightly controlled he simply won't have an opportunity to be more than nominally acquainted with anyone from a working class background.

His whole Kindergarten and elementary schooltime Prince Hisahito has socialized with "normal" children:
https://www.nippon.com/en/ncommon/contents/news/134949/134949.jpg

By the way: Prince Hisahito was the first member of the Japanese imperial family in the postwar era not to enroll in Gakushuin Primary School, which was established in the 19th century as a school for aristocrats.

What kind of surprises me is the attitude of the Japanese people toward this marriage and Kei Komuro himself. He is one of them...a working class commoner...yet there is absolutely none of the public support or warmth one would see in Western Europe toward a member of the Royal family falling in love with an "unsuitable" commoner.

Young and old, most Japanese feel that Her Imperial Highness let down the side.

Everyone is blaming the IHA and Japanese media for opposition to the union....but what about the Japanese public?

Thank goodness Daniel Westling fell in love with SWEDISH princess, is the first thing that comes to mind.

What Kei meets in society is more or less the same as what the husband of Princess Margriet of the Netherlands met. While he was not "from the street" (his parental families Van Vollenhoven and Stuyling de Lange both belong to the Patriciate), Pieter himself told his parents were not happy when he came home with Princess Margriet. They thought Pieter "should have known his place" (and that was surely not next to a princess of the blood royal).

We see the same phenomenon, especially when royals marries untitled compatriots, like Letizia: "Girl, you can stick that surgically enhanced little nose in the air, playing La Princesa Perfecta, but we all know you are just an Ortiz, don't pretend anything, you are just as common as we are". We have not seen this sort of rections when Infanta Elena married a Spanish aristocrat or when King Philippe married a Belgian ariatocrat. (Liliane Baels, the commoner-born second spouse of Leopold III, at the other hand, was never accepted by the very own Belgians).

 

[Moonmaiden23]

Excellent points. Very interesting. Some Japanese feel Kei and his family are too shady and that his presence in the Imperial family brings them dishonor.

More old school Royalists think he should stay in his own lane.

 

[Prisma]

I find it fascinating that the name and background of this "Ex-Fiance" is not widely reported. I can't find much in the newspaper articles. If this was in the US or UK, the tabloids (such as Daily Mail) or the gossip websites (TMZ.com) would have no problem naming him.

Since all the negativity stem from this "dispute", several things make me suspicious:

1) Why is this "Ex-Fiance" using a reporter as his representative/spokesperson instead of a lawyer? The reporter is not incentivized to end the dispute, the reporter would love to keep this going so they can keep writing negative articles and sell magazines.

2) Did the "Ex-Fiance" file paperwork with the courts to try to get his money back, since he supposedly asked for the money back in 2013, several years before the engagement between Mako and Komuro was announced in 2017. In the US, you can file in small claims court which has minimum court fees. Maybe this is not feasible in Japan?

3) The money dispute is a private matter. It does not sounds like there were paperwork signed or verbal agreement. When reporters were digging into Komuro's background, the "Ex-Fiance" could have said nothing, then no one would have known!

4) Did the IHA know about the money dispute before it was reported in the newspaper? The IHA does background check on potential spouses of members of the Imperial family. For example, they looked into Empress Masako's background and had concerns her grandfather's possible involvement with the Chisso corporation who dumped chemicals in the water and sicken people back in 1930s. Did the IHA know, but did not consider it important and let Mako announce the engagement. Then only pulled back when the public reacted negatively?

My theory is that the "Ex-fiance" was bitter about the breakup and had an axe to grind. He is jealous and petty. He can't stand to see Komuro or his mother being happy without him, so he has to interject himself into the story. Also, one of the things he asked for besides the money was to speak in person with Komuro's mother. Why? The relationship ended almost 10 years ago. Clearly this dispute is more than just the money, it is also about the Ex-fiance's ego and need for attention.

I'm glad that Komuro's mother has refused to meet with him. This is emotional blackmail.

I hope Mako and Kei Komuro will have a happy and peaceful life in NY. They both deserves it!

1) It's a mystery.

2) 4 million yen does not quality for small claims. The limit appears to be 600,000 yen according to https://sumikawa.net/legal-services/collecting-money/

3) I agree, there doesn't seem to be official paperwork specifying the money was a loan. I think the ex-fiance provided images of bank transfers and copies of email/text exchanges with Kayo to tabloids. Such evidence only indicates he willingly transferred the money. There's also the recordings Kei Komuro and the ex-fiance made of each other later.

4) No, the IHA didn't do a background check on Komuro and from my understanding it's a family's personal business on husbands for princesses. Princess Takamado has been careful about vetting potential partners for her daughters whereas the Akishino family did not, favoring an independent policy, and the public also blames the parents for not being diligent. A prince's partner must be approved by the Imperial Household Council so the background of a bride and her family are heavily scrutinized. A background check would not necessary reveal the money dispute unless the IHA discreetly interviewed people close the Komuros. Background checks turn up criminal history, employment history, education/degrees, residency, etc. The money dispute hasn't been in court as far as I know.

Komuro Kei fails NY bar exam, intends to try again | NHK WORLD-JAPAN News

[...]

NHK interviewed lawyer Okuno Yoshihiko, who heads a law firm in Japan where Komuro once worked.

Okuno says he spoke with Komuro by phone on Saturday morning who informed him that he had failed to pass the bar exam.

The lawyer says Komuro told him that he will continue studying and will rewrite the exam in February.

Okuno said he also spoke with Mako who said that she will continue to support her husband's studies.

[...]

 

[MsJulie]

I have read that many people fail the bar exam. Mostly nerves on what to expect. John Kennedy Jr did not pass until the third try. Other well known people did the same. Komuro had a lot on his plate while taking the exam….getting married is one thing but facing the Japanese Royal Family, and his own country men who criticize anything he does is stressful. I wish him luck in the next round and that they both have a lovely and happy life. The love they have for each other has endures these past several years already. JMOO

 

[MichaelB]

Since all the negativity stem from this "dispute", several things make me suspicious

I think you make several excellent points in your post. What I find interesting is that the whole matter is very much a „he said – she said“ kind of thing (which you will, in my experience, find quite often when listening to people who have broken up). But the reporting from the beginning was very one-sided in that everything the ex-fiancé said was taken like some sort of gospel while – without any hard evidence - Komuro and his mother were being called out as the bad ones. They were never given the benefit of the doubt. To this day we don´t have any proof one way or the other, and probably never will.
I mean, the thing about whether the money was a loan or a gift – it is absolutely a possibility that this issue was not even adressed when the ex-fiancé gave the money to Kei´s mother. They were engaged to be married, and people in a relationship will unfortunately often shy away from asking one another what happens if they should break up because it feels awkward. I think that it is absolutely possible that Kei and his mother honestly thought that the money was a gift, even more so as the ex-fiancé had not come forward and asked for the money back at the time when they broke up. (It is my understanding that he had not.)

1) Why is this "Ex-Fiance" using a reporter as his representative/spokesperson instead of a lawyer? The reporter is not incentivized to end the dispute, the reporter would love to keep this going so they can keep writing negative articles and sell magazines.

While we have not been given a reason I can very easily come up with a plausible one: a lawyer would have to be paid whereas the reporter is probably free or even paying the ex-fiancé for the story. Much more lucrative that way.

The former fiance felt bad and responsible after Mako's C-PTSD diagnosis was revealed. He urgently wants to resolve the dispute

I am admittedly nitpicking here but I would feel much more comfortable with saying that the former fiance felt allegedly bad and responsible after Mako's C-PTSD diagnosis was revealed and that he allegedly wants to resolve the dispute. The fiancé has said before that it is not his intention to have the couple break up and that he feels bad. But there has not been a single instance in the ex-fiancé´s behaviour (as reported) during the last years that would indicate to me that he is actually interested in finding a solution. (If you have I´d be very interested in hearing that.)

Take the latest incident: Kei wants to talk to the ex-fiancé about the money and he refuses to even discuss the subject because he wants to speak to Kei´s mother first. Since Kei´s attempt months have passed without anything happening. Fast forward to the moment of the wedding when everybody´s attention is on the ex-fiancé, and all he says is that he is not satisfied. How is that helpful? I think Osipi made a very good point when he assumed that the fiancé´s talking about being concerned about the princess may be a sort of saving face.

the IHA didn't do a background check on Komuro

Can you tell me why you think that they did not do a background check on Komuro? (Let me take a guess: they said that after the ex-fiancé had come forward and they did not want to appear negligent...)
I honestly have a very hard time believing that. Mako until the point of her engagement had been set up as the ideal princess (sort of) and they clearly hoped that they could use pressure from the public in order to incentivize politicians to allow female-led miyake, much like they did with Akihito´s abdication. They would have been very stupid to not do a background check on Komuro. And they may be many things but they are not stupid.

 

[Prisma]

[...]

Can you tell me why you think that they did not do a background check on Komuro? (Let me take a guess: they said that after the ex-fiancé had come forward and they did not want to appear negligent...)
I honestly have a very hard time believing that. Mako until the point of her engagement had been set up as the ideal princess (sort of) and they clearly hoped that they could use pressure from the public in order to incentivize politicians to allow female-led miyake, much like they did with Akihito´s abdication. They would have been very stupid to not do a background check on Komuro. And they may be many things but they are not stupid.

If the IHA did a background check, I fail to understand why the agency would let the money dispute remain unresolved and let this mess happen. No one had the foresight to recognize it as a problem? Wedding planning was well underway with dates set and hotel booked. The agency employs 1000+ people but Princess Mako or her parents would be the ones to request background checks. Previous articles/threads have eluded to various factions.

I don't think the IHA is united in advancing female-led miyake. Certainly, whichever faction leaked Mako's engagement plans in 2017 revived the conversation but ultimately Mako (and Ayako surprisingly) left the Imperial family anyway. No doubt there are traditionalists within the IHA who still frown upon the abdication and Mako's marriage/partner.

According to Yomuri/The Japan News, the grand steward wasn't even aware of Kei Komuro until shortly before the engagement news.

How can we ensure that Imperial family members’ weddings are celebrated? - The Japan News

[...]

Female members of the Imperial family lose their royal status upon marriage, and it has been the policy of Crown Prince Akishino’s family that female members’ wishes should be respected when choosing a partner. Consequently, Mako has made her own decisions in finding the person she wanted to marry.

As it was a private matter, the involvement of the Imperial Household Agency was also limited as much as possible. So much so that the then grand steward of the agency was not informed of Princess Mako’s choice of partner until just before a news report that she was to be engaged.

[...]

From pages 7-10 (?) of this thread, it's clear Princess Mako, her parents, the Akishino household, the IHA, and even the Komuros were caught off guard by the money dispute. Even if a background check was conducted, the matter wouldn't necessarily be found since there's no court/public record. As you and others have noted, it's a "he said, she said" situation. Someone like a private investigator would need to discreetly interview those close to the Komuros and inquire about their finances, circle of friends/society, family relations, etc.

The 3-4 year saga shows the IHA and Akishino family's lack of involvement in vetting Mako's partner. I think any parent would wish to spare their child from this drama.

ETA: Mako and Kei started dating in 2012 and they were serious enough by 2014 that Mako told her parents and Kei about declining the lump-sum payment. There was plenty of time for Mako or her parents (or family aide) to request/suggest a background check.