Death & Funeral of Ari Behn: December 25, 2019/January 3, 2020


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The speech of Ari’s parents was only pretentious... The speech of Maud was touching.

I like that they did not include the Shaman in the funeral.


You criticize the speech of a parent eulogizing his child?
 
I love the Norwegian royals, they’re so dignified.
The way they’ve conducted themselves after Ari’s death is commendable. Truly appreciate the king mentioning him in his speech.
The fact that all of them (Ingrid Alexandra, Sverre Magnus and Marius included), shows how much Ari meant to them even after the divorce.
Even Martha Louise standing unobtrusively while Maud gave her father a eulogy, it was so touching.
Every single member of the royal family seemed affected, and it goes on to show how well loved and respected Ari was. If only he knew.
 
Who is the other tall guy standing nearby? Cousin from the other side of the family?
 
Sometimes, when a loved one dies, its the planning of the last goodbye, the thoughts of the loved one that figures into the flowers, the music and the little touches for the service and the words chosen to be spoken is what helps those grieving to put one foot in front of the other and keep going on in life when the mind would rather shut down, crawl under the blanket and hope it was all just a dream.

I've not watched the service at all yet but from what I've read here, it was a beautiful and meaningful gathering to remember and say goodbye one last time to Ari Behn by those that deeply loved him and those that gathered to support them.
 
Who is the other tall guy standing nearby? Cousin from the other side of the family?

Do you mean this young man who came out of the church with Maud?
https://0.t.cdn.belga.be/belgaimage:159910459:1800x650:w?v=5da1df12&m=bpngimpi
https://2.t.cdn.belga.be/belgaimage:159912022:1800x650:w?v=5da1df12&m=ajkbjkok
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/01/03/15/22954730-7848815-image-a-108_1578065730424.jpg

He was sitting between Ari's daughters and Haakon at the first row at the church. Ebba Rysst Heilmann was sitting on on the first row on the other side with Ari's family
https://gfx.nrk.no/4166KT0Lgutyp9BZAKgyRg3MW9F9T4r59CV-IUm4mqig.jpg
 
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the norwegian royals have my deepest respects. the king mentioning ari in his new year address, maud carrying herself with such dignity in such a horrible time in her life, along with leah and emma who remained collected, ingrid leaning on ML and hugging maud at the exit, haakon carrying his brother in law's coffin, MM and marius crying during and at the end of the ceremony, MM's mum attending the funeral... they do show as a united, close family that is more than just royalty. this was tastefully done and so heartfelt.

one would have thought that ari was a controversial character as depicted by the media, but he was also deeply respected by his in laws, that is clear.

a lovely photo of ingrid and maud: https://www.belgaimage.be/#/image/159912394
https://www.belgaimage.be/#/image/159912012
 
These photos were heartbreaking to see - Ari's passing is clearly still very raw for all the guests present. Maud Angelica is a talented artist too - it was touching to see her drawing of her father on the order of service - and even more so to learn that she was going to give it to him as a Christmas gift. :sad:

And I'm so glad that the Shaman wasn't there. The NRF are always dignified about doing things.
 
The service was a lovely tribute; the flowers, the setting, music and eulogies.
Terribly sad for Ari's children and parents.
He has left three beautiful daughters behind.
Was Ari's partner Ebba able to attend?

Who was the tall young man seated next to Haakon in the church and standing near Ari's daughters after the pallbearers outside?
 
I’m not entirely sure but I was wondering if it was Maud’s boyfriend?

I just watched the video of the service, Maud did so incredibly well. I’m sure her whole family were so proud of her.

Marius seemed so affected watching the coffin leaving. He must have had a close relationship with Ari growing up.
 
Based on the pictures, it looked like Märtha Louise was still married to Ari. His girlfriend (of 2 years?) was present but mostly in the background. It must be devastating for her as well. Hopefully she has people around her who comfort her.

The service was a lovely tribute; the flowers, the setting, music and eulogies.
Terribly sad for Ari's children and parents.
He has left three beautiful daughters behind.
Was Ari's partner Ebba able to attend?
Yes, she was. It's the women with the long curly hair on this picture and here (with Ari's sister).

I’m not entirely sure but I was wondering if it was Maud’s boyfriend?

That seems a reasonable explanation. He is comforting Ingrid-Alexandra on this picture - but is also next to Maud; and she looks up to him quite often. Alternatively, he could be a cousin.
 
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Catching up on the funeral, hard emotional day. :sad:

Maud did a great job, can't imagine how hard it was for her.

Can see Ari meant a lot to the family. Marius and Ingrid both looked very upset. I didn't see Sverre.

I don't see ML having been in the wife's spot. Nor Ebba being snubbed at all. Ebba was with the family, seated with his family. Ari was not married or even engaged, he didn't have a wife or fiance to lead the grieving. The main focus was of course on his daughters, his next of kin. His daughters were the most important mourners, more so then a girlfriend of a year or so. Martha wasn't up front as wife or ex. She was there as mother supporting her kids.

Was sad to read the picture was meant to be a Christmas gift to Ari. Just drives home when he took his life.
 
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Catching up on the funeral, hard emotional day. :sad:

Maud did a great job, can't imagine how hard it was for her.

Can see Ari meant a lot to the family. Marius and Ingrid both looked very upset. I didn't see Sverre.

I don't see ML having been in the wife's spot. Nor Ebba being snubbed at all. Ebba was with the family, seated with his family. Ari was not married or even engaged, he didn't have a wife or fiance to lead the grieving. The main focus was of course on his daughters, his next of kin. His daughters were the most important mourners, more so then a girlfriend of a year or so. Martha wasn't up front as wife or ex. She was there as mother supporting her grandkids.

Was sad to read the picture was meant to be a Christmas gift to Ari. Just drives home when he took his life.

Have to agree with you on all fronts. It was a tasteful, solemn and emotional service. The relevant members of Ari's family were accorded the dignity due to them.
 
Who was the bearded, long haired man carrying the coffin next to the CPrince?
 
Who was the bearded, long haired man carrying the coffin next to the CPrince?

Christian Udnæs, husband of Ari's sister Anja. Anja and Christian's sons Ask and Isak were also carrying the coffin.

Ari's friend Per Heimly says in NRK's ​​memoir program on Ari Behn, that he had talked to his good friend no later than the day before he died.
- I talked to him on Christmas Eve and was really fussing about him "staying in there" and that things will always get better. You just have to get through the pain, you have to endure, he says.
When did darkness come?
- Both Ari and I have worked on topics such as life, death and love. There are many strong, dark texts Ari has from the beginning, says Heimly.
- But I do see at a lot of the pictures I have, that after the break with Märtha, despair and darkness came on. It was very difficult to reverse that way of thinking. It got heavier and heavier for him eventually, so it was a slippery transition, really.
Snakket med Ari Behn på julaften_ Prøvde å få ham til å holde ut – NRK Norge
Translation
 
Christian Udnæs, husband of Ari's sister Anja. Anja and Christian's sons Ask and Isak were also carrying the coffin.
Snakket med Ari Behn på julaften_ Prøvde å få ham til å holde ut – NRK Norge
Translation


I´m pretty impressed, and I mean that in a neutral way (by neutral I mean there is no right or wrong about it. They just do it), that the King and Queen also even hug spouses of their daughter´s Ex-in-law-family! Could you imagine the Queen of the UK, the King of Sweden or Queen Margrethe hugging publicly in-laws of their children´s ex-partners to comfort them....?!
I think King Harald and Queen Sonja are such a great example and rolemodels to follow and it shows that you do can show your emotions even when you are from an older generation although things like that were not being done in royal circles in the old days.
 
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Christian Udnæs, husband of Ari's sister Anja. Anja and Christian's sons Ask and Isak were also carrying the coffin.

Ari's friend Per Heimly says in NRK's ​​memoir program on Ari Behn, that he had talked to his good friend no later than the day before he died.
- I talked to him on Christmas Eve and was really fussing about him "staying in there" and that things will always get better. You just have to get through the pain, you have to endure, he says.
When did darkness come?
- Both Ari and I have worked on topics such as life, death and love. There are many strong, dark texts Ari has from the beginning, says Heimly.
- But I do see at a lot of the pictures I have, that after the break with Märtha, despair and darkness came on. It was very difficult to reverse that way of thinking. It got heavier and heavier for him eventually, so it was a slippery transition, really.
Snakket med Ari Behn på julaften_ Prøvde å få ham til å holde ut – NRK Norge
Translation

This information and Ari's own words rather confirm that the failure of his marriage to ML was devastating for him, even though he acknowledged that he had been "impossible to live with". The sense of failure, and the loss of his role as husband and hands on father might have been the beginning of the end.

It's sort of a chicken vs.egg question...did Ari's illness cause the end of his marriage, or did the loss of that vital relationship trigger his final, severe depression?

Just speculation. It's all so frustrating and tragic to me.:sad:
 
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I recently read a blogpost from a funeral director who stated that in his experience about 70% of suicides are related to a great sense of loss (resulting in desperation); 20% of mental illness; and 10% of physical suffering. In Ari's case it seems his great sense of loss and depression coincided. That sense of loss seemed to have been both related to his marriage and to his 'status'. I found this statement by Ari especially poignant: "I am yesterday's news, even though the world has not yet been told".
 
The norwegian royal court about the funeral:
Ari Behn bisatt - kongehuset.no
Translation

Ari Behn meant a lot to the Norwegians - it was clear on Friday, when Princess Märtha Louise's ex-husband was buried in front of ​​guests both inside and outside Oslo Cathedral.
He was married to the princess for 14 years and the couple had three daughters together. They placed flowers on their father's coffin for the entire Norwegian people.
But when Ari Behn died on Christmas Day, the flags of the Palace were not at half mast. This made many Norwegians confused - but there was an explanation.
The flag is only hoisted on half mast when the king dies, otherwise it hangs around the clock when the king is in Norway, the Norwegian court writes on its website.
But on the day of the funeral, the royal house decided to honor Ari Behn by raising flags at half mast at two royal properties.
At Kongsseteren, the royal family's residence at Holmenkollen, the Norwegian flag waved on half mast for Ari Behn.
And at the Crown Prince couple's home, Skaugum, the same thing happened.
The Norwegian court's assistant communications manager Sven Gj. Gjeruldsen told this to VG.
Kungen ändrar sig – hissar flaggan på halv stång för Ari _ Svensk Dam
 
This information and Ari's own words rather confirm that the failure of his marriage to ML was devastating for him, even though he acknowledged that he had been "impossible to live with". The sense of failure, and the loss of his role as husband and hands on father might have been the beginning of the end.

It's sort of a chicken vs.egg question...did Ari's illness cause the end of his marriage, or did the loss of that vital relationship trigger his final, severe depression?

Just speculation. It's all so frustrating and tragic to me.:sad:
Well, mental illness can destroy relationships, and it´s nobodys fault. I just thought when reading this it must be quite hard for Ari´s last partner to hear how much he suffered of his split from Martha....!
 
I´m pretty impressed, and I mean that in a neutral way (by neutral I mean there is no right or wrong about it. They just do it), that the King and Queen also even hug spouses of their daughter´s Ex-in-law-family! Could you imagine the Queen of the UK, the King of Sweden or Queen Margrethe hugging publicly in-laws of their children´s ex-partners to comfort them....?!

In a similar situation, absolutely. Alexandra – and by extension, her family – was a part of QMII's life for over a decade and continues to be so through her sons. Can't speak for HM or CG but I have no doubt that QMII (and the rest of the DRF) would extend the same compassion to all of her daughters-in-law's families in a similarly tragic situation. I mean, this is the woman who continued to work with Alexandra's new father-in-law even after Alexandra remarried. Don't necessarily think she deserves to be lumped in with HM.
 
A video of Maud's speech with English subtitles can be seen here:

 
I´m pretty impressed, and I mean that in a neutral way (by neutral I mean there is no right or wrong about it. They just do it), that the King and Queen also even hug spouses of their daughter´s Ex-in-law-family! Could you imagine the Queen of the UK, the King of Sweden or Queen Margrethe hugging publicly in-laws of their children´s ex-partners to comfort them....?!


I can imagine it the most; they are human beings just like everyone of us, and they also have feelings.
 
:previous: It was also 100 % the right thing to do, staying away from the funeral. Class, respect, restraint.

Better late than never.
 
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I can't possibly imagine what he could add to the situation that would in any way improve it. Paraphrasing Abraham Lincoln, it's better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Though, in his case, he is a fool. It's just better that he's a quiet fool.
 
The photos of IA hugging and comforting ML's children were lovely. It seems this is a tight-knit family who have been equally affected by Ari's death.
 
Durek posting that he is making no comment, without realising that is a comment seems to sum him up IMO.

Anyway, it was a truly heart warming yet wonderfully touching service.
 
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