Death & Funeral of Ari Behn: December 25, 2019/January 3, 2020

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade

In Germany, the media usually speaks openly about suicide (because it will get out anyway and the speculation on social media is worse) but they always add a line, something like ... if you have suicidal thoughts or need help please contact xxx. in case people become depressed over the article.

What a splendid thing to do!

It is, I understand, a sad fact that suicides tend to "inspire" others, so to speak.
If the massive press coverage in Norway over Ari Behn's death can give some with thoughts of suicide the incentive to seek professional help at least something good will come out of this.

It is first and foremost his children we must think of.
We may hope that one day, when the grief, anger, the self-incrimination, the feeling of abandonment and betrayal have may have subsided a little, they will find some consolation in the fact that there father is no longer suffering.

Thank you (and others) for sharing your story C4A.
I cannot offer you and your husband understanding, because I cannot - I will not - understand how you must have felt and feel.
But I can offer you my most sincere sympathy and condolences however inadequate it is.

[SLV]

Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade

In Germany, the media usually speaks openly about suicide (because it will get out anyway and the speculation on social media is worse) but they always add a line, something like ... if you have suicidal thoughts or need help please contact xxx. in case people become depressed over the article.

It is the same in the Dutch media.

[poppy7]

Originally Posted by SLV

It is the same in the Dutch media.

And the British but they do not usually use the words suicide, at least at first. But there are phrases which are used and a link to the Samaratians.

C4A I am sorry for what happened to your daughter and family. I cannot imagine what your family has been through. Thank you for being so courageous in sharing your story.

[Blog Real]

Ari Behn's mother talked about her son's death on Instagram social network
https://www.vg.no/rampelys/i/e8wy8M/..._content=row-1
https://www.instagram.com/p/B6kxJf5g_Mi/

[principessa]

I would be not surprised if his funeral will take place without notice of the press and the publicity.

[poppy7]

Originally Posted by principessa

I would be not surprised if his funeral will take place without notice of the press and the publicity.

With the age of the children involved. I very much hope so.

[Sister Morphine]

I've battled anxiety and depression for almost 20 years now. I've never been suicidal, but I've been incredibly low. It's not a pain I'd wish on my worse enemy. I've also lost a friend to suicide, and it happened right in front of me. Their other friends and I did everything we could to get them help, but in the end, it wasn't enough. Watching someone you love and care about put a gun to their head is not an image that will ever leave your mind, no matter how much time passes. I was in therapy for many years just to make peace with that, to say nothing of my own issues. My father's cousin took her own life when I was about 11 years old. That was 26 years ago now, and my dad *still* suffers from that knowledge.

People who say things like "suicide is selfish" or "people who commit suicide are cowards" don't understand, and hopefully never will, just how insidious depression is. It makes you feel things you don't want to feel, say things you don't want to say, and do things you don't want to do. People who take their own lives aren't doing it necessarily because they want to die, though in some cases that's true, it's because they want the pain to stop. It doesn't matter if it's physical pain or mental/emotional pain. They want to ease the burden on their loved ones. It's an irrational act, and people who do it aren't thinking clearly.

I hope the cosmos, in whatever way it sees fit, gives peace to Ari's friends and family, especially his three daughters.

[Lumutqueen]

Originally Posted by Osipi

Although it may have seemed heartless for me to deem suicide as a coward's way out, I can speak from experience that it is. I just wish that Ari had the courage to talk to someone, anyone, before taking that drastic move. Where there is life, there is hope and if things are so bad that suicide seems the only way out, its hard to remember that the only way from rock bottom is up.



Fortunately, for me, it wasn't the answer I chose but it very well could have been. My apologies for coming across the wrong way. Any life lost before its time is a tragedy.

Originally Posted by ImKevin

It's so very easy for people who doesn't suffer from this mental illness to speak about an individual who perhaps had to deal with this for a while. How about you walk in his shoes before calling him a coward.

I’m not getting into a debate such as this one on this thread, however I would advise posters to read all, and think clearly before attacking other members for their opinions.

[lucien]

Originally Posted by Lumutqueen

I’m not getting into a debate such as this one on this thread, however I would advise posters to read all, and think clearly before attacking other members for their opinions.

Hear hear hear!!Especially in this case yes indeed!!

[Ista]

Originally Posted by Lumutqueen

I’m not getting into a debate such as this one on this thread, however I would advise posters to read all, and think clearly before attacking other members for their opinions.

I think this is excellent advice not only for this thread, but for virtually all threads on this forum. More than half of the contentious exchanges could be avoided if posters would take the time to read more than the last few posts, and to assume good will on the part of the vast majority of their fellow forum members.

[wartenberg7]

Originally Posted by Osipi

Although it may have seemed heartless for me to deem suicide as a coward's way out, I can speak from experience that it is. I just wish that Ari had the courage to talk to someone, anyone, before taking that drastic move. Where there is life, there is hope and if things are so bad that suicide seems the only way out, its hard to remember that the only way from rock bottom is up.

How do you know he didn´t?! I guess, since he was suffering so long of this sickness, he was even under psychiatric and/ or therapeutic supervision.
He was obviously not a man dealing with it all on his own since he even made his problems public...
From my professional experience I know that people commiting suicide often DID speak about their agony with others - still at some stage they unfortunately decide for the worst....!

[Denville]

In any case, IMO there is a time and a place to critiicse and the time to criticise is not just when the person has died, tragically.

[princess carmen]

Having two people close to me who suffer with depression I can say it is not an easy illness. Some may say it is a selfish act to commit suicide and they should have gotten help. Some do seek help as Arid did but, the reality is what was going on is his head was what he heard. Depression does not just affect you mentally but it physically cause you pain. I would hope that people will read about depression and it's symptoms before they judge anyone who suffers and commits suicide. There is so much that goes along with this disease.

[norwegianne]

The funeral will be on January 3, in Oslo Cathedral.

https://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/..._content=row-1

[An Ard Ri]

The lit candles outside the Moss Church are a wonderful tribute.

[carlota]

Originally Posted by norwegianne

The funeral will be on January 3, in Oslo Cathedral.

https://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/..._content=row-1

hope the media give ML and her daughters the space they deserve to mourn in peace. wonder if ari left any instructions for his funeral, i hope this is what he would have wanted as it is a public place to put 3 little girls in after the suicide of their dad.

Originally Posted by Muhler

What a splendid thing to do!

It is, I understand, a sad fact that suicides tend to "inspire" others, so to speak.

indeed, they do inspire other suicides. i remember a time in 2018 when we heard of many suicides of public figures one after the other. anthony bourdain, kate spade and maxima's younger sister all happened within a few weeks of one another. it certainly gives people ideas.

Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade

One can only hope that the Shaman will not make a great entrance at the funeral.

it would seem that ari and the shaman kept a friendly relationship, so i wouldn't be surprised to see him there.

[assia]

Originally Posted by carlota

hope the media give ML and her daughters the space they deserve to mourn in peace. wonder if ari left any instructions for his funeral, i hope this is what he would have wanted as it is a public place to put 3 little girls in after the suicide of their dad.







indeed, they do inspire other suicides. i remember a time in 2018 when we heard of many suicides of public figures one after the other. anthony bourdain, kate spade and maxima's younger sister all happened within a few weeks of one another. it certainly gives people ideas.







it would seem that ari and the shaman kept a friendly relationship, so i wouldn't be surprised to see him there.

Really I hope he will remain discreet

Originally Posted by assia

Really I hope he will remain discreet

I mean the shaman

[Empress Merel]

I feel so sorry for everyone who loved him, but most of all I feel for him. How lonely and heart wrenching it must have been to make the decision to leave this earth, knowing he'd leave behind his young daughters. Depression and mental illness truly are tragic. I hope he has found peace and his girls know their father loved them and he is at peace now.

[Tatiana Maria]

Originally Posted by norwegianne

The funeral will be on January 3, in Oslo Cathedral.

https://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/..._content=row-1

Originally Posted by carlota

hope the media give ML and her daughters the space they deserve to mourn in peace. wonder if ari left any instructions for his funeral, i hope this is what he would have wanted as it is a public place to put 3 little girls in after the suicide of their dad.

If I am reading the article correctly, it implies that his family took the decision to hold the funeral in a spacious venue for the sake of being able to welcome all who wish to attend.

I don't fully understand the explanation given by the government spokeswoman as to why the funeral will not be publicly funded; is she saying in essence that Ari Behn has not achieved the rank in his field which would qualify him for a state-funded funeral?

[JR76]

Originally Posted by Tatiana Maria

If I am reading the article correctly, it implies that his family took the decision to hold the funeral in a spacious venue for the sake of being able to welcome all who wish to attend.

I don't fully understand the explanation given by the government spokeswoman as to why the funeral will not be publicly funded; is she saying in essence that Ari Behn has not achieved the rank in his field which would qualify him for a state-funded funeral?

A state funded funeral is for soldiers (I imagine war heroes and those who've fallen when in service), leading politicians and a few leading persons in culture.