Death & Funeral of Ari Behn: December 25, 2019/January 3, 2020

[Duke of Marmalade]

One can only hope that the Shaman will not make a great entrance at the funeral.

[principessa]

Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23

Has there been any word from Princess ML at all? Even on social media? I can only imagine her sense of shock.......

I would be very surprised if we will read some in the next few days. I guess she is now with her daughters and tries to cope with this situation.

Let's hope that the three girls will get the best support to cope with the death of their father.

[Blog Real]

The castle, Lommedalen and the childhood town of Moss are some of the places people now gather to remember Ari Behn.
https://www.nrk.no/norge/slik-minnes...ehn-1.14837356
https://www.vgtv.no/video/190118/min...en-en-edelsten

[LadyFinn]

Ari Behn made an impression to the reporters he met.

Anna von Koch, reporter in Svensk Damtidning, posted a photo to her Instagram
It is with shock I am reached by the sad message that @princessmarthalouise ex-husband @ari.behn has taken his life. I'm really sorry!
I only met Ari Behn once, but it made a strong impression on me. Ari was unbelievably charismatic, friendly and artless.
He had designed a porcelain series called Peacock and I was at the Stockholm Fair to interview him.
When I left, he cried, "Anna, come back!"
I went back to his showcase and there he picked up a custom designed mug and wrote something on it. I thanked again and left.
When I looked at the mug it said: “To Anna, you are a jewel! Thanks again, Ari!"
Rest in peace!
https://www.instagram.com/p/B6gnKxiJw2O/

[Hans-Rickard]

Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23

According to the article, Ari's neighbors said that his house remained in darkness on Christmas Eve. That sounds ominous and heartbreaking...that he was possibly sitting alone in the dark the night before his death.

Has there been any word from Princess ML at all? Even on social media? I can only imagine her sense of shock.......

Heartbreaking :(

M L has not posted on Instagram since the morning of December 25 (hours before the police was alerted about Ari’s death). I don’t think we should expect anything for awhile. She is likely with her daughters trying to cope with the situation

[Tatiana Maria]

Some additional messages mourning and honoring Ari from his friends and colleagues.

https://www.nrk.no/norge/ari-sine-ve...let-1.14836979

Originally Posted by Somebody

It's extremely tragic but it seems a wise decision to be open about the fact that his cause of death is suicide. Otherwise speculations would have been rampant; now everyone can concentrate on the tragedy and support those closest to him.

Originally Posted by Alisa

Kudos to the family for being transparent with Ari's cause of death.

Agreed. His family's transparency moreover communicates that they are not ashamed of their son/brother or the fact that he ended his life; perhaps that can offer a small amount of support to others who are suffering or bereaved.
Nina Berglund discussed the context of his family's announcement in her report:

"Reports of Behn’s death were stunning in themselves, meanwhile, because of their unusual honesty regarding his suicide. Norway has a long tradition of initially hushing up suicides, with media generally reporting only that a suicide victim “was found dead” and omitting the cause of death. Media have recently become a bit more open but remain careful in reporting suicides, generally long after the fact, because of alleged fears they’ll encourage other suicides. Proponents of openness, meanwhile, have advocated changes in reporting policy, with Behn’s family clearly respondng to the call and the royals responding as well."

https://www.newsinenglish.no/2019/12...yals-holidays/

Behn, an author and artist, had been controversial as well. He had a spectacular debut in 1999 with his book Trist som faen (Sad as hell) that won good reviews and sold 100,000 copies. He relished in being a modern-day bohemian, became an instant member of Norway’s literary scene and made headlines when he tattooed VG‘s own high rating of “6” for his book on his arm.

He then went on to win the princess and become part of Norway’s royal family. He kept writing and branched into various forms of artistry, from designing glassworks to painting, holding an exhibition as late as this fall with Mikael Persbrandt. He enjoyed meeting the public and won a few prizes in Østfold, his home county south of Oslo. There were several run-ins with the press, however, and he struggled to make a comeback as an author. He had told VG in October, however, that he had a good relationship with Princess Martha Louise and with the king and queen after their divorce. “They’re the grandparents of my children and I love them very much,” he told VG.

[HereditaryPrincess]

Such shocking news. I was aware that Ari had suffered from mental health problems in the past, but I had no idea that he was in such a dire state. And the fact that he spent his last hours on the planet alone in the darkness is even more heartbreaking

I think it's too soon to judge whether or not Ari's actions were "selfish" - as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, and recently OCD, I can totally sympathise with how Ari felt and relate to his struggles as I myself am a survivor of an attempted suicide. I think depression consumes so much of a suicidal person's mind that all rational thoughts go out of the window (I know this has certainly been the case with me in the past) and they truly do believe that death is the only way out of their struggles. A lot of suicidal people refuse any help they are offered, even from the closest of family members and friends. So it's possible Ari had a large support network, but was in too much of a despairing frame of mind to take it. It's something one can only fully understand if they have been through it themselves; but I realised it was so important to talk to someone after I started seeing a psychologist. I am still suffering from depression/anxiety but it's a lot more moderate than it was because I have a safe space I know I can go to if I ever start to feel low, that then makes me feel better about myself as a result.

I just wish mental health was as normalised as physical health when it comes to having support and treatment. So many lives could have been saved.

[rominet09]

Originally Posted by HereditaryPrincess

Such shocking news. I was aware that Ari had suffered from mental health problems in the past, but I had no idea that he was in such a dire state. And the fact that he spent his last hours on the planet alone in the darkness is even more heartbreaking

I think it's too soon to judge whether or not Ari's actions were "selfish" - as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, and recently OCD, I can totally sympathise with how Ari felt and relate to his struggles as I myself am a survivor of an attempted suicide. I think depression consumes so much of a suicidal person's mind that all rational thoughts go out of the window (I know this has certainly been the case with me in the past) and they truly do believe that death is the only way out of their struggles. A lot of suicidal people refuse any help they are offered, even from the closest of family members and friends. So it's possible Ari had a large support network, but was in too much of a despairing frame of mind to take it. It's something one can only fully understand if they have been through it themselves; but I realised it was so important to talk to someone after I started seeing a psychologist. I am still suffering from depression/anxiety but it's a lot more moderate than it was because I have a safe space I know I can go to if I ever start to feel low, that then makes me feel better about myself as a result.

I just wish mental health was as normalised as physical health when it comes to having support and treatment. So many lives could have been saved.

I agree totally with you, thank you for expressing things so well, I'll just add Something, when someone tries to help you, you see it but it doesn't have any effect because you are so very down and you feel horribly guilty not to respond properly to their act of kindness. My own experience of course.

[Frelinghighness]

Thank you rominet 09 and hereditary princess for sharing your struggles with us. I wish you both full health in the New Year

[poppy7]

Originally Posted by HereditaryPrincess

Such shocking news. I was aware that Ari had suffered from mental health problems in the past, but I had no idea that he was in such a dire state. And the fact that he spent his last hours on the planet alone in the darkness is even more heartbreaking

I think it's too soon to judge whether or not Ari's actions were "selfish" - as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, and recently OCD, I can totally sympathise with how Ari felt and relate to his struggles as I myself am a survivor of an attempted suicide. I think depression consumes so much of a suicidal person's mind that all rational thoughts go out of the window (I know this has certainly been the case with me in the past) and they truly do believe that death is the only way out of their struggles. A lot of suicidal people refuse any help they are offered, even from the closest of family members and friends. So it's possible Ari had a large support network, but was in too much of a despairing frame of mind to take it. It's something one can only fully understand if they have been through it themselves; but I realised it was so important to talk to someone after I started seeing a psychologist. I am still suffering from depression/anxiety but it's a lot more moderate than it was because I have a safe space I know I can go to if I ever start to feel low, that then makes me feel better about myself as a result.

I just wish mental health was as normalised as physical health when it comes to having support and treatment. So many lives could have been saved.

Amen to that. And I wish you continued good health in all regards. As a sufferer of anxiety myself, and a hignly sensitive person, the world can sometimes be too much and it is so important to continue the dialogue. I often tell my students, when they ask about suicide, that sometimes people just do not get better from their illnesses and I make sure to equate mental and physical health. It is heartbreaking this happened to ari, his children, family and friends.

[rominet09]

Originally Posted by Frelinghighness

Thank you rominet 09 and hereditary princess for sharing your struggles with us. I wish you both full health in the New Year

Thank you very much !

[Heavs]

I understand why news outlets and family members are often very reluctant to confirm a suicide for a number of reasons but I do think it was the right thing to do here where speculation would be ugly and overwhelming.

Reports of a suicide are not likely to trigger someone who had no suicidal thoughts just because they want to jump on a macabre bandwagon and among those already contemplating ending it their own demons are likely affecting them far more. The more mental health is talked about the less stigmatised it becomes and the more people can see how common it is and seek help.

Whilst it's inherently "selfish" in that yes it's all about that person's own demons and they aren't thinking clearly about anyone else, they really aren't well in the slightest. That said, family members and friends are entitled to their anger as well. And yes around a significant event or date makes the feelings of despair grow and the lasting impact of a previously happy time all the more tragic.

This was a man who evidently wasn't shy about sharing his struggles and demons- he published a book and gave interviews on the subject, had a successful career, access to the best possible care and a wide circle of people who loved and admired him not to mention three young daughters. Mental illness does not discriminate.

I'm not surprised Martha Louise has made no comment and nor should she have to right now. She's presumably focusing on her girls and her own shock and grief at what has happened. Her family's statements were well done no need for anything further right now.

[C4A]

I don’t usually comment on this thread, but after hearing of Ari Behn’s death by suicide I read all the comments on this thread.

I want to support posters above who feel that mental illnesses should be regarded in the same light as physical illnesses. Depression, “this terrible disease” to quote Virginia Woolf, is a biological illness just as cancer or diabetes, and can be as life threatening.

I also feel Ari Behn’s family did the right thing to openly acknowledge his death by suicide. There is still much stigma and shame surrounding mental health and suicide, and talking about it openly will go a long way to remove the stigma.

I don’t agree with posters who feel that taking one’s own life is a selfish act. A person who is in such deep despair and mental anguish is beyond rational thought and not capable of taking a rational decision. Much of my reading on the subject suggests that these persons do not want to die, but are really looking for relief from their terrible psychic pain.

My husband and I lost our beautiful talented 21-year old daughter to depression and suicide barely two months before she was to graduate from university. Our lives were forever changed, we as individuals are forever changed. We can never again be the persons we were before. And regardless of the day on which our child left, be it Christmas or any other day, life in general, and every special occasion, has lost much of its sparkle.

Ari Behn’s three young daughters must be devastated, to lose a parent at such a young age must be particularly difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

[ashelen]

I think it is so sad in any case when somebody takes their own life what evr is the case, they have to be in such a pain …… Wonder if he did spend Christmas eve with them , it was before or after and is any news how they found out? Now I can understand may be why Martha had to divorce I t had to be so difficult for her to live with somebody with depression, but how to get help? when some times people refuse help. So sad no way to see this in any other way.

[ImKevin]

Originally Posted by Osipi

This is not the news a family wishes to hear around Christmas. Especially Ari's children. Suicide to me, in any way, shape or form, is selfish and a coward's way out of problems or issues.

My heart goes out to the family he's left behind.

It's so very easy for people who doesn't suffer from this mental illness to speak about an individual who perhaps had to deal with this for a while. How about you walk in his shoes before calling him a coward.

[Duke of Marmalade]

In Germany, the media usually speaks openly about suicide (because it will get out anyway and the speculation on social media is worse) but they always add a line, something like ... if you have suicidal thoughts or need help please contact xxx. in case people become depressed over the article.

[Alisa]

Thank you for sharing your experience on the subject matter. It must have been very difficult to compose that post. My sympathies to you and your family.

Originally Posted by C4A

I don’t usually comment on this thread, but after hearing of Ari Behn’s death by suicide I read all the comments on this thread.

I want to support posters above who feel that mental illnesses should be regarded in the same light as physical illnesses. Depression, “this terrible disease” to quote Virginia Woolf, is a biological illness just as cancer or diabetes, and can be as life threatening.

I also feel Ari Behn’s family did the right thing to openly acknowledge his death by suicide. There is still much stigma and shame surrounding mental health and suicide, and talking about it openly will go a long way to remove the stigma.

I don’t agree with posters who feel that taking one’s own life is a selfish act. A person who is in such deep despair and mental anguish is beyond rational thought and not capable of taking a rational decision. Much of my reading on the subject suggests that these persons do not want to die, but are really looking for relief from their terrible psychic pain.

My husband and I lost our beautiful talented 21-year old daughter to depression and suicide barely two months before she was to graduate from university. Our lives were forever changed, we as individuals are forever changed. We can never again be the persons we were before. And regardless of the day on which our child left, be it Christmas or any other day, life in general, and every special occasion, has lost much of its sparkle.

Ari Behn’s three young daughters must be devastated, to lose a parent at such a young age must be particularly difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

[Bosana]

Originally Posted by C4A

I don’t usually comment on this thread, but after hearing of Ari Behn’s death by suicide I read all the comments on this thread.

I want to support posters above who feel that mental illnesses should be regarded in the same light as physical illnesses. Depression, “this terrible disease” to quote Virginia Woolf, is a biological illness just as cancer or diabetes, and can be as life threatening.

I also feel Ari Behn’s family did the right thing to openly acknowledge his death by suicide. There is still much stigma and shame surrounding mental health and suicide, and talking about it openly will go a long way to remove the stigma.

I don’t agree with posters who feel that taking one’s own life is a selfish act. A person who is in such deep despair and mental anguish is beyond rational thought and not capable of taking a rational decision. Much of my reading on the subject suggests that these persons do not want to die, but are really looking for relief from their terrible psychic pain.

My husband and I lost our beautiful talented 21-year old daughter to depression and suicide barely two months before she was to graduate from university. Our lives were forever changed, we as individuals are forever changed. We can never again be the persons we were before. And regardless of the day on which our child left, be it Christmas or any other day, life in general, and every special occasion, has lost much of its sparkle.

Ari Behn’s three young daughters must be devastated, to lose a parent at such a young age must be particularly difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

How utterly heart-wrenching, dear, dear C4A, I am so sorry for the pain you endure. I agree with everything you have written. As one whose life has been touched by suicide, but not nearly in the same way that yours has, I know there are no words. No words, at all. I hope that moments of peace and serenity will eventually find their way into your broken hearts.

[Archduchess Zelia]

Originally Posted by wyevale

^ Their death is STILL of their own volition, regardless.. and not the same as a 'natural death'

That's not only incorrect, it's very also a very harmful stereotype to perpetuate. The majority of all suicides are rooted in mental illnesses such as depression. You don't become depressed of your own volition, it's not a choice you make. It's an illness that so happens to majorly affect the risk of suicide.

While it makes me happy that a handful of people on here seemingly have had the fortune not to be directly affected by depression, I really would also wish that the same people would then have the decency to refrain from talking out of their asses about a subject they clearly have neither professional nor firsthand knowledge of.

[Marengo]

Originally Posted by C4A

I don’t usually comment on this thread, but after hearing of Ari Behn’s death by suicide I read all the comments on this thread.

I want to support posters above who feel that mental illnesses should be regarded in the same light as physical illnesses. Depression, “this terrible disease” to quote Virginia Woolf, is a biological illness just as cancer or diabetes, and can be as life threatening.

I also feel Ari Behn’s family did the right thing to openly acknowledge his death by suicide. There is still much stigma and shame surrounding mental health and suicide, and talking about it openly will go a long way to remove the stigma.

I don’t agree with posters who feel that taking one’s own life is a selfish act. A person who is in such deep despair and mental anguish is beyond rational thought and not capable of taking a rational decision. Much of my reading on the subject suggests that these persons do not want to die, but are really looking for relief from their terrible psychic pain.

My husband and I lost our beautiful talented 21-year old daughter to depression and suicide barely two months before she was to graduate from university. Our lives were forever changed, we as individuals are forever changed. We can never again be the persons we were before. And regardless of the day on which our child left, be it Christmas or any other day, life in general, and every special occasion, has lost much of its sparkle.

Ari Behn’s three young daughters must be devastated, to lose a parent at such a young age must be particularly difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

Thank you very much for sharing your personal story. Some compassion instead of judgement for those suffering from this horrible disease will be more useful and is certainly a more human approach. My grandparents went trough the same ordeal as you and life was never the same for them. I wish you and your family well.