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  #81  
Old 12-25-2019, 09:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
This is not the news a family wishes to hear around Christmas. Especially Ari's children. Suicide to me, in any way, shape or form, is selfish and a coward's way out of problems or issues.

My heart goes out to the family he's left behind.
Some people are in so much mental pain they can see no other way to end the hurt. And they can feel their family and friends will be better off without them, that they are a burden.

I am so sorry for his daughters and other family.
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  #82  
Old 12-25-2019, 09:21 PM
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Very very sad for all of his family and people who knew him well. Every Christmas from now on will be a reminder. His lovely children must be devastated. Such a shame he couldn't overcome his demons.
And sad for us too thinking about it and how it affects everyone.
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  #83  
Old 12-25-2019, 09:26 PM
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Fact is for his daughters now the happiest time of the year has turned into the time Daddy chose to kill himself. They will never be able to really enjoy the holidays with their own spouses and children. To do this any day was selfish but right before Christmas? That was cruel.
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  #84  
Old 12-25-2019, 09:32 PM
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Originally Posted by amaryllus View Post
Fact is for his daughters now the happiest time of the year has turned into the time Daddy chose to kill himself. They will never be able to really enjoy the holidays with their own spouses and children. To do this any day was selfish but right before Christmas? That was cruel.
Yes, and people with cancer who choose to die on Christmas Day are selfish, cruel to their families as well, right?

Mental health issues obviously still need a lot more understanding in the world.
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  #85  
Old 12-25-2019, 09:37 PM
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Taking away a loved one and not letting the family get to say goodby or have closure is always a cruel thing. No matter who does it.
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  #86  
Old 12-25-2019, 10:15 PM
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I really hope the girls get good counselling help and lots of family support right at this horrible time. I am sure they will struggle trying to understand the Why! Why did he do it.
The poor things will go through a range of conflicting emotions now.

I just hope that in time when they are ready they will be able to talk about Dad and the fun things they did together and his funny little ways etc. Talk about him as a man who lived a life despite the crippling depression and remember him with great fondness. But I guess that will take time.
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  #87  
Old 12-25-2019, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amaryllus View Post
Fact is for his daughters now the happiest time of the year has turned into the time Daddy chose to kill himself. They will never be able to really enjoy the holidays with their own spouses and children. To do this any day was selfish but right before Christmas? That was cruel.
Mental health issues can happen to anyone at anytime. You don’t plan for a certain day to end your life just to **** things up for your family. When you take your life, you are below the bottom in the darkness and don’t see any other way out, regardless of the date being 25 July or 25 December.....

The only way to break this stigma is to remove the guilt, shame and blaming of the victim, and start to talk about it.
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  #88  
Old 12-25-2019, 10:35 PM
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It is almost inevitable that they will at some point experience feelings of anger and betrayal to complicate their grief...Papa did not love us enough to stay with us. ..we were not enough...we could not help him..
etc.

And that is where very skilled professional counseling becomes invaluable.

Along with loving and empathetic family support.
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  #89  
Old 12-25-2019, 11:55 PM
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My thoughts are with his family. I hope the girls would receive supports from their families and professionals, it must be a hard time for them.

It's easy for us, the outsiders or the mentally relatively healthy people to say, suicide is a selfish act, it hurts their love ones, they can choose other path etc. But the thing is, what we see is just the surface, and we would never know, and be able to understand what they are actually facing and bearing. Sometimes simply asking the people who suffer depression and other mental illnesses to get some help, talk to someone can't really improve the situation, maybe even give them more hard feelings. Mental illness is complicated and there isn't an absolute treatment. Need more understanding and empathy, less blaming and judgement.
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  #90  
Old 12-26-2019, 12:31 AM
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My condolences to Ari Behn's parents, siblings, children, his former wife and his friends. May he rest in peace.
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  #91  
Old 12-26-2019, 01:55 AM
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Its tragic for everyone, Ari, especially his daughters, and his family.
He was aware of his problems and spoke openly about it, therefore I assume he had the best help available. But sometimes it's not enough. If somebody is determined to end his life, he will do it, no matter what. Although it appears cruel, I don't think it can be explained with reason.

I've heard from friends that their family member actually seemed happy and healthy a week before, at ease with herself, but only because she must have taken the decision to go.

And this time of the year is very common, my best friend has been a paramedic for almost 30 years, he told me last week that he's had 3 suicides in a week and it will increase over Christmas.
I hope that Ari is at peace now and that his family can make peace with his decision at some point.
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  #92  
Old 12-26-2019, 02:07 AM
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So shocking, so sad, specially in this time of the year, I can not imagine his daughters, the pain and the feeling of abandonment. My father died when I was 2 in a car accident and even though it was an accident and I knew I always felt this sense of abandonment, it was terrible, specially when i was a teenager and I was in a relationship, I always thought that they were going to abandon me and I used to be so obsessive posses of the person next to me that I would make them to run away. It took me a long time to recuperate until I met my husband who by the way is 30 years older than me, you don't wonder why.... I feel for this girls because the father choose to abandon them even if he was with an illness this girls will se it as abandonment, hope they get the treatment they need asap so they can move forward and not take as long as I did. May his soul rest in peace.
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  #93  
Old 12-26-2019, 02:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amaryllus View Post
Fact is for his daughters now the happiest time of the year has turned into the time Daddy chose to kill himself. They will never be able to really enjoy the holidays with their own spouses and children. To do this any day was selfish but right before Christmas? That was cruel.
It was the day after Christmas as far as I have heard. Very sad anyway for all involved
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  #94  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:00 AM
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Very very sad indeed!!I am very sorry for his children and direct family.

He might have been contraversial at one time,but a better person by far
compared to that sick freeky excuse of a "successor".Very sad Ari didn't
see any other solution then to take his life.Extra poignant on Christmas,
as for the children Christmas will always remain connected with their fathers death.

Martha Louise,how will you deal with your children and responsibility towards
them from now on instead of spending time with that freakshow and continue
to be the risée of your House and Country while your children have to watch and have to endure it all???
Wake up woman!
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  #95  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:38 AM
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this was most shocking. i feel very sorry for the 3 girls he leaves behind, it always pains me to see how parents of kids would do such a thing, but obviously mental illness is complicated and i don't judge those who feel that suicide is the only way forward. he felt that his depression was hard for his loved ones so this may have been his way of aring for them and to spare them the suffering.

the timing is also most strange indeed, to do this on christmas day. some here mentioned he was spending christmas with the royal family also, so either he changed his mind last minute or retired to be by himself at some point of the day.

to me, the royal statements showed how appreciated ari behn was to the RF members. to outsiders, he was always excentric and a bit much for the RF, but he clearly won a place in the hearts of the king, queen, haakon and MM and also foreign royals like daniel and victoria.
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  #96  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:47 AM
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I didn't know Ari Behn but I was shocked and saddened to hear the news. I can only imagine how devastating and horrible this news must have come to his young daughters.

My heart goes out for them for their loss. Prayers and fond memories are what we have to remember. May his soul rest in peace. My heartfelt condolences to the family.
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  #97  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:54 AM
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Very sad. One never knows what is going on or even rages in another person's psyche. I am sure Ari had access to professional care but somehow the suffering seemed so intense. What a terrible and sad news. It looks similar to Queen Máxima's sister Inès: whatever the effort, it seems so hard to help loved ones with this. A broken bone can heal. But a psyche is so complicated. Phew... What a news.
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  #98  
Old 12-26-2019, 04:00 AM
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Friends of Ari Behn are now expressing their feelings.
One of them is Jan Thomas, who spoke with Ari Behn a couple of weeks before Christmas.

Among other things he writes:
"It hurts so much and it's totally impossible to take in. That Ari is suddenly gone is just heavy and all-consumingly incomprehensible.
It's not many days ago I spoke with him and there we planned to do several things in the year to come.
It's no secret that Ari also had his heavy periods and that makes this day extra painful. To feel resistance in life can be a personal and heavy journey, where you often isolate yourself. It seemed like Ari would attempt to get through it in mind of the future he has talked about.
I was in contact with him just a couple of weeks ago. That it should be my last conversation with him is totally unfathomable to think of."

To the press he adds:
"I'm just dissolved in tears. I was so fortunate to meet Ari many years ago and today I cannot when I met him for the first time. But for each time we met a totally inexhaustible love between us developed.
He was always one of my nearest and most supporting friends. And I tried always to be the same for him."

Here is a comment from the DRF, via their PR-chief, Lene Balleby:
"The Danish Royal Family is deeply moved over the premature death of Ari Behn and they send their warmest thoughts to the Norwegian Royal Family and the family of Ari Behn.

https://www.bt.dk/royale/den-danske-...ari-behns-doed
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  #99  
Old 12-26-2019, 04:12 AM
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It is very hard to understand. My best friend suffers severe depression but when you see her: utterly succesful, a devoted handsome boyfriend, amazingly beautiful house, brand new Tesla on the driveway, four holidays a year but still she has intense periods of pain. "But WHAT is the pain?" I tried to understand, but she never could describe it. She says sometimes she steps out of her car, steps into her futuristic kitchen and suddenly feels her legs like being sucked into mud. She feels waves of gloom overcome her and suddenly feels all willpower leaving her and glide into depression. No escape possible. Very hard to understand because objectively there is often no reason. It is easier to say: he has a broken leg, she has a kidney failure, because then one can point to something. With depressions: phew... whát is it? Why is it? How can we help? The illness which is the most difficult to understand because from the outside no one can see.
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  #100  
Old 12-26-2019, 04:50 AM
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Johan T Lindwall, the editor-in-chief about Ari Behn's death:
Johan T Lindwall: "Ari Behn was a fantastic person"
Ari Behn is gone. It is inconceivable.
Princess Märtha Louise's ex-husband chose to end her life and we are all equally shocked and sad. I'll say it right away: Ari Behn was an amazing person.
Yes, I can say that when I had the opportunity to meet him so many times throughout the years. Ari Behn was truly an amazing person who brought so much to the Norwegian royal house.
As I said, I had the privilege of meeting both him and Märtha Louise a number of times over the years. Every time he was always just as nice and friendly. Always with a hug and although I could write sharp words about him he had a warm hug.
Johan T Lindwall_ _Ari Behn var en fantastisk människa_ _ Svensk Dam
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