Sarah Staying at Prince Andrew's Home (Royal Lodge, Windsor): February 2008

[judith14011]

I agree. Big difference between Sarah and Pss. Alexandra of Denmark. As for Sarah being forever a member of the BRF, not so. She will forever be linked to them through her daughters, but that does not make her a member.

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I totally agree with this - and this is the core of the problem. Sarah wanted out of the RF in 1992 and got out in a spectacular and personally humiliating fashion. She has been trying to get back in ever since and certainly continues to trade on the RF name - otherwise she would simply be Sarah Ferguson, and not the DOY ~ which is how she continues to identify herself and make her money.

[Moonmaiden23]

I disagree that Sarah wants back in the BRF. Why on Earth would she want to go back to a situation where her every move is scrutinized and criticized? She is independently wealthy and can do as she pleases. She doesn't need the BRF.

She does, however, still love Andrew and is determined to keep him in her life. He obviously feels the same way, he is not some clueless little donkey being led around. The children are now all but adults so they are not doing it for the kids.

In every interview she has given Sarah sounds pained for the grief that she caused the Queen, whom she respects a lot. But she also sounds relieved as hell to be away from that situation with their stupid "grey men" and their vicious Fleet Street editors.

More power to Sarah. More power to Andrew AND Sarah!

[kimebear]

I agree completely. I don't think she wants any official part of the royal family. She's happy doing her own thing. For all of the grief she inflicted on the RF and then had it back in her turn, I've never heard her speak with anything but admiration for the Queen. I don't understand the people who think that Andrew has not moved on because of her. If he is still hung up on her, that's his problem, not hers. He's a grown man who can choose what he wants for himself. Personally, I just think he likes a playboy lifestyle and the opportunity to play happy family with Sarah and the girls when it suits him. The best of both worlds.

[Moonmaiden23]

Originally Posted by kimebear

I agree completely. I don't think she wants any official part of the royal family. She's happy doing her own thing. For all of the grief she inflicted on the RF and then had it back in her turn, I've never heard her speak with anything but admiration for the Queen. I don't understand the people who think that Andrew has not moved on because of her. If he is still hung up on her, that's his problem, not hers. He's a grown man who can choose what he wants for himself. Personally, I just think he likes a playboy lifestyle and the opportunity to play happy family with Sarah and the girls when it suits him. The best of both worlds.

You hit the nail on the head...Andrew has the best of both worlds and so does Sarah. Andrew has had several glamorous high profile girlfriends since his divorce from Sarah. I just don't think he wants to get married again. What would be the point? He has the children, he can do the "family thing" whenever he wants. He obviously isn't lonely. He is a very busy guy. I am sure that if he wanted to get married again he would have done so by now. Sarah too.

[billie-jo]

why did she move in with him?
billie-jo

[ysbel]

Originally Posted by judith14011

I agree. Big difference between Sarah and Pss. Alexandra of Denmark. As for Sarah being forever a member of the BRF, not so. She will forever be linked to them through her daughters, but that does not make her a member.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I totally agree with this - and this is the core of the problem. Sarah wanted out of the RF in 1992 and got out in a spectacular and personally humiliating fashion. She has been trying to get back in ever since and certainly continues to trade on the RF name - otherwise she would simply be Sarah Ferguson, and not the DOY ~ which is how she continues to identify herself and make her money.

Not really when you look at their status - Alexandra is, like Sarah, no longer part of the Danish Royal Family. The one advantage that Alexandra has is that she has a new husband that she seems very happy with and she appears to be starting a new career for herself. The same for Joachim.

The one disadvantage of Andrew and Sarah as compared to Joachim and Alexandra is that Andrew and Sarah seem to be permanently stuck in their post-divorce 1996-1997 relationship whereas Alexandra and Joachim seemed to be moving forward and taking concrete and deliberate steps to create a new but very satisfying life for themselves. This gives them both a vibrancy and a sense of purpose whereas when one looks and Andrew and Sarah, one only sees stagnation, the same old, same old.

I like both Andrew and Sarah but I do think it reflects badly on their character for them to be satisfied with so little real substance and purpose in their lives. They look by their relationship to each other that they are willing to coast along and let life pass them by. Taking the easy way out.

[Moonmaiden23]

Originally Posted by ysbel

Not really when you look at their status - Alexandra is, like Sarah, no longer part of the Danish Royal Family. The one advantage that Alexandra has is that she has a new husband that she seems very happy with and she appears to be starting a new career for herself. The same for Joachim.

The one disadvantage of Andrew and Sarah as compared to Joachim and Alexandra is that Andrew and Sarah seem to be permanently stuck in their post-divorce 1996-1997 relationship whereas Alexandra and Joachim seemed to be moving forward and taking concrete and deliberate steps to create a new but very satisfying life for themselves. This gives them both a vibrancy and a sense of purpose whereas when one looks and Andrew and Sarah, one only sees stagnation, the same old, same old.

I like both Andrew and Sarah but I do think it reflects badly on their character for them to be satisfied with so little real substance and purpose in their lives. They look by their relationship to each other that they are willing to coast along and let life pass them by. Taking the easy way out.

I guess I am confused about how they are "coasting along" and letting their lives pass them by?? They both have active busy careers. Andrew as a trade ambassador for the UK and of course Sarah with her various ventures. They continue to take holidays as a family, and they have a close relationship that I personally feel is a model for other divorced couples. Their lives seem quite full of "substance"...much fuller than most.They have chosen not to remarry because...I don't know...maybe they don't want to, but they have had other very discreet relationships with others

How is this stagnating or taking the easy way out? I am genuinely confused.

[Russophile]

I think Ysbel means is that there is no closure. They can pick up where they left off at any time. No marriage, no breaking it off. Stasis, really.
Is that what you meant, Y?

[kimebear]

Its s slippery slope really. From way up here on my moral high horse, I would prefer to see them married again if they are going to carry on than just continue to enjoy the friends with benefits thing. On the other hand, I really don't care to see Sarah rejoin the royal family. So, if it's a choice between the two, let things play as they are. As much as I like her in some aspects (giving a public face to the fight against obesity and likely encouraging Beatrice to do the same with dyslexia) I just don't like her as royalty.

[Moonmaiden23]

Originally Posted by kimebear

Its s slippery slope really. From way up here on my moral high horse, I would prefer to see them married again if they are going to carry on than just continue to enjoy the friends with benefits thing. On the other hand, I really don't care to see Sarah rejoin the royal family. So, if it's a choice between the two, let things play as they are. As much as I like her in some aspects (giving a public face to the fight against obesity and likely encouraging Beatrice to do the same with dyslexia) I just don't like her as royalty.

I don't like her as Royalty either. I knew from the beginning that she was going to be a disaster as a Royal princess. But I felt then and I still feel that she and Andrew were ideally suited to one another by temperament, tastes, humor, etc. Neither of them will tolerate bad things being said about the other, they have only the highest of praise for one another. Had they been "ordinary" people, Mr and Mrs Joe Average-they probably would still be married and very happy together.

[rmay286]

That's true, I would like to see Andrew and Sarah remarry too, but Sarah seems so well-suited to being an American businesswoman and so badly suited to being royal. And I think she's well aware of that and that's no small part of the reason why they don't remarry.

As for why Sarah and Andrew's relationship is unhealthy, which I agree with, I'd say it's not so much because it's "same old same old", but because the "same old" isn't the fullest relationship anyone would wish for someone. It seems like Andrew and Sarah have a non-romantic but committed relationship with each other and romantic/sexual but non-committed relationships with other people. I don't know that this is the best of both worlds; I think the best of both worlds would be having both in one person. But as long as Andrew and Sarah refuse to move fowards, they're avoiding figuring out how to develop a committed romantic relationship with someone new, and as long as they refuse to get back together, they're avoiding figuring out what went wrong in their own marriage.

[Roslyn]

Originally Posted by rmay286

As for why Sarah and Andrew's relationship is unhealthy, which I agree with, I'd say it's not so much because it's "same old same old", but because the "same old" isn't the fullest relationship anyone would wish for someone. It seems like Andrew and Sarah have a non-romantic but committed relationship with each other and romantic/sexual but non-committed relationships with other people. I don't know that this is the best of both worlds; I think the best of both worlds would be having both in one person. But as long as Andrew and Sarah refuse to move fowards, they're avoiding figuring out how to develop a committed romantic relationship with someone new, and as long as they refuse to get back together, they're avoiding figuring out what went wrong in their own marriage.

But maybe they're both happy with the way things are and don't want to move forward. Might not be ideal, but if it works for them, I don't see a problem.

[HRH Kerry]

Call me late but I never knew Fergie had her own place. I knew they lived together even after the divorce and assumed that was still the case.

Evidently I have been living under a rock!

[ysbel]

But as long as Andrew and Sarah refuse to move fowards, they're avoiding figuring out how to develop a committed romantic relationship with someone new, and as long as they refuse to get back together, they're avoiding figuring out what went wrong in their own marriage.

Yes, that's what I meant. Having each other like this means they can avoid making clearcut decisions of what they want to do with their lives and how they want to share it.

I mean everything is so wishy-washy with them. His place, her place, their place. Are they romantic, just friends, what about being royal because as much as Sarah couldn't fit into the Royal lifestyle, Andrew is very much a royal with the royal pursestrings and responsibilities attached. So that a big part of his identity and his life that she cannot share in.

So many halfway situations, so many incompletes with them.

[Zonk]

But who says its incomplete for them?

From where we stand..may be...but they seem to be happy with the situation...and let's face it...we don't know all the facts. What we do know is this...the genuinely care for each other....might even call each other "best friends"....no one know Sarah like Andrew and no one knows Andrew like Sarah. They have a great relationship with their children...none of the bickering and the problems of not being able to have your divorced parents in the same room cause the tension is thick with past grievances. They do date others...but so far nothing serious...maybe neither one wants to get married again? I mean...I think its fairily healthy...its not like they are dating clones of each other.

[Skydragon]

Originally Posted by CaliforniaDreamin

I don't like her as Royalty either. I knew from the beginning that she was going to be a disaster as a Royal princess. But I felt then and I still feel that she and Andrew were ideally suited to one another by temperament, tastes, humor, etc.

She uses her past connection to the Royal family, milks it for all it's worth and enjoys the perks. He enjoys the perks and uses his connections because he feels it is his due as a member of the Royal Family - match made in heaven.

[LadyCat]

My thoughts exactly! I do like them as a couple, however I wish they would tone it down just a bit. Sarah is still often erroneously referred to as Royalty, especially here in the US, and she does nothing to correct the notion. And most Americans haven't a clue about royal protocol so they don't realize that since she is no longer a member of the royal family she is no longer "Royalty".

Still, if her staying at the Royal Lodge at Windsor is okay with Andrew and their daughters, why should anyone else care? And it's not like Andrew has been there a whole lot lately anyway.

By the way, are the repairs at Dolphin House complete? It's been several weeks since the fire. Though, if the contractors in England are like those in the US, what was supposed to take three weeks to do could very well take three months or more!

Cat

[judith14011]

Sarah said in a 1996 interview with The Ladies Home Journal in the U.S. that she was "territorial" when it came to Andrew and dating others. Neither one of them is able to move on effectively - either as singles or pursuing other partners because they have an unhealthy emotionally enmeshed relationship.

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN':
"In every interview she has given Sarah sounds pained for the grief that she caused the Queen, whom she respects a lot. But she also sounds relieved as hell to be away from that situation with their stupid "grey men" and their vicious Fleet Street editors."
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Yes, and Sarah says this again and again and again and again. It's enough already! It's been 16 years! Sarah is caught in a time warp. 16 years later she is still apologizing. It's both a way to keep herself in the public eye as a de facto member of the RF and continuing to assuage her guilt and remorse, which appears to be limitless. The fact is that she is marginalized and frankly, not that important to the RF. When she moves back in with Andrew, or shamelessly promotes her daughters, she reminds them that she is still around and not likely to go away in the near future.

[Moonmaiden23]

Originally Posted by judith14011

Sarah said in a 1996 interview with The Ladies Home Journal in the U.S. that she was "territorial" when it came to Andrew and dating others. Neither one of them is able to move on effectively - either as singles or pursuing other partners because they have an unhealthy emotionally enmeshed relationship.

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN':
"In every interview she has given Sarah sounds pained for the grief that she caused the Queen, whom she respects a lot. But she also sounds relieved as hell to be away from that situation with their stupid "grey men" and their vicious Fleet Street editors."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, and Sarah says this again and again and again and again. It's enough already! It's been 16 years! Sarah is caught in a time warp. 16 years later she is still apologizing. It's both a way to keep herself in the public eye as a de facto member of the RF and continuing to assuage her guilt and remorse, which appears to be limitless. The fact is that she is marginalized and frankly, not that important to the RF. When she moves back in with Andrew, or shamelessly promotes her daughters, she reminds them that she is still around and not likely to go away in the near future.

How does she "shamelessly promote her daughters?" And in all fairness she only speaks about HM the Queen when asked about her. She doesn't do a mea culpa in each interview, only when asked about her past. What should she say...that they should get over it and buzz off and leave her alone? Of course not.

I think some people might be annoyed with her because she has earned a lot of $$ in her post Royal life. Well, she had to. She was in debt and the settlement she received was paltry, frankly. I don't like some of the choices she used to make money...I cringe at the Weight Watchers thing, but hey a girls gotta live. And there is no way I would have spent the rest of my life in genteel poverty just because I had a failed marriage with one of the Queen's sons and was afraid that someone would take advatage of my name and position by hiring me. To hell with that. She did what she had to do.

[Martha]

It seems that Sarah and Andrew have a good relationship.