Sarah, Duchess of York: "Cash for Access" - May 2010

[Lumutqueen]

She has to find somewhere to place the blame, not just the fact that she is mindlessly greedy and very gullable.
She just does not give up.
Hmmm she didn't sound too drunk on that video excepting the money.

[Iluvbertie]

Originally Posted by NotAPretender

I can't understand the endless excusing of Sarah's affairs by saying that Andrew was never home. It's not as though she didn't know that she was marrying a naval officer for crying out loud! And it also speaks poorly of her by essentially saying "well, she was lonely and horny and Andrew wasn't around to punch her ticket so off she went to find herself some fun." Is she that bereft of any common sense or decency?

There is a difference between explaining and condoning. I have never condoned her affairs but I do understand a young wife being lonely and seeking comfort and love in the arms of another when her husband is away a lot and she is forced to live in a large building with no real family of her own around her (she had an apartment at BP remember).

Many navy wives do exactly that - have affairs because of their husband's long absences and they too knew they were marrying navy men. I don't condone them either but I do understand them. Are you saying that all these wives also lace any common sense or decency?

Personally I don't. I just think it is an unfortunate consequence of marrying a navy man that the woman will seek physical love while there men are away (and many of these men also seek that love when in different ports).

[Russophile]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

No being unhappy is never an excuse to take a lover but taking a lover is a sympton of a marriage gone bad and for that both of them are to blame.

Andrew didn't do anything to help his wife with her unhappiness so she sought love elsewhere. The figures for their actual time together are firghtening - something like less the two years out of the seven they were married (navy personnel the world over have very high divorce rates due to the many and lengthy absences not just Sarah and Andrew).

This is true. IMO, she should have thought about that BEFORE she agreed to be DoY.

[NotAPretender]

I think it's a disgrace to the many, many, many faithful spouses of men and women under arms, to lump her in with them: for anyone married to someone in the service to use the absence of their spouse as the paper-thin coverlet for their manifest adultery. This is Memorial Day weekend in the US, where we honor those who have lived and died having served. How shallow of anyone to pretend that being the spouse of a serviceman or servicewoman is an excuse to throw themselves under the nearest hot body.

I understand passion - fully. I also understand vows, and I understand honor. Those adultery-seeking Navy wives who are in your acquaintance, bertie, are not those of my acquaintance, and they aren't the kind of people I would welcome into my home. nor do I think that they can possibly be considered representative of Navy spouses. They are a disgrace to themselves and to their spouses, and to their country. And yes - they have no honor. What they have is selfishness, self-interest. Are the drives of the groin so overwhelming for their apparently limited faculties? Evidently so!

The very fact that Sarah was so self-involved as to hurl herself whilst married into a myriad of affairs is exactly the same kind of personality for whom everything is not enough. If Andrew were around, what would have been her excuse to take lovers? Because quite honestly, I have zero doubt that she would have. Andrew loved her desperately and there isn't a single soul to dispute that. Having that love was just not enough, she had to go be grubby and bounce around on - poles.

And now this - this grubbiness again. Greedy and grabbing followed by the desperate search for something - someone - else to blame for her own gobbling.

I used to really think she had something. Now I realize that all she was or ever will be is out for herself. I think even the producers of the Kerry Katona monstrosities would balk at taking her on. How can any person in their right mind think of her as anything but well beyond her expiry date?

[Mermaid1962]

I'd guess that the idea that a spouse at home could be having an affair would be very, very bad for morale among people in the services. I wonder whether there have been any young service wives who've thought, "The Duchess of York was lonely and had an affair; so it's okay for me to have one as well"? People don't just fall into these situations afterall; a decision has to be made at some point to be unfaithful. People can make all kinds of excuses about why these things happen, but it comes down to the will. Even if a person does things because s/he's drunk, the person made the decision at some point to have a second drink.

Originally Posted by NotAPretender

I think it's a disgrace to the many, many, many faithful spouses of men and women under arms, to lump her in with them: for anyone married to someone in the service to use the absence of their spouse as the paper-thin coverlet for their manifest adultery. This is Memorial Day weekend in the US, where we honor those who have lived and died having served. How shallow of anyone to pretend that being the spouse of a serviceman or servicewoman is an excuse to throw themselves under the nearest hot body.

[livadia]

More and more I think the answer to Sarah's problematic behavior is described in the link below:

Narcissistic personality disorder: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia

[LadyHylton]

Pleased to meet you, livadia! Thank you for the warm welcome, silviaelena. It is most appreciated.

Editing out the unnecessary bits.

[silviaelena]

Wellcomes Livadia and Ladyhilton, I agree with you livadia, I believe that it is due to the abandonment of her mother Susan for Hector Barrantes when she was 12 or 13 years old. She was traumatized.

[Wisteria]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

Many navy wives do exactly that - have affairs because of their husband's long absences and they too knew they were marrying navy men. I don't condone them either but I do understand them. Are you saying that all these wives also lace any common sense or decency?

Personally I don't. I just think it is an unfortunate consequence of marrying a navy man that the woman will seek physical love while there men are away (and many of these men also seek that love when in different ports).

I am not easily shocked but this time Iluv you have shocked me and quite severely.
I only hope that you are alone in your understanding (not condoning) of these poor lonely wives.
Belonging to a family of long military tradition, what you have said has shocked me to the core, especially on this special day, Memorial Day.

[NotAPretender]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

Are you saying that all these wives also lace any common sense or decency?

Yes.

Just as Sarah lacked the decency to end her marriage before embarking on frolics.

Yes. They are lacking.

[Lumutqueen]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

I am not easily shocked but this time Iluv you have shocked me and quite severely.
I only hope that you are alone in your understanding (not condoning) of these poor lonely wives.
Belonging to a family of long military tradition, what you have said has shocked me to the core, especially on this special day, Memorial Day.

I also believe what IluvBertie says.
I can understand that when navy men are away their wives will have affairs.
Memorial day was on May 31st and is not celebrated in the UK.

[NotAPretender]

Lumutqueen - does the UK have the equivalent?

livadia & LadyHylton - as seen in posts #113 and #241 of this thread, the personality disorders have been mentioned. As you both probably already know, personality disorders differ from mental illness in that they can rarely be successfully treated. If Sarah has these, then she's pretty much always going to be like this. Hence the need for the controls discussed in posts #113 and #241. I won't repeat them here, too tedious.

[Lumutqueen]

Well we don't have an event to celebrate just the death of british soldiers.
We have Remembrance Day & Sunday, VE Day and celebrations of the Dunkirk landings and D-Day etc. But no i wouldn't say we did.

[Warren]

Guys, we seem to be getting sidetracked into an irrelevant discussion concerning the marital affairs of the wives of service personnel.
This has little to do with Sarah, Duchess of York's culpability in attempting to sell access to her former husband for large sums of money.

thanks,
Warren
British Forums moderator

[Wisteria]

I am sorry Warren, I forgot myself in my indignation. Sarah has behaved very badly but perhaps she will pull through, she has before, she has been very foolish as the BRF have been very tolerant and good to her.
Just let me say one more thing about the armed forces, for people who have family in any of the services, or have lost a dear one, every day of the year is a memorial day.

[Mermaid1962]

I think that the closest that Commonwealth countries come is Remembrance Day. I know that in Canada, we don't have a day when we decorate graves.


[QUOTE=NotAPretender;1087864]Lumutqueen - does the UK have the equivalent?

QUOTE]

[LadyHylton]

Originally Posted by NotAPretender

I know I remember photos of the "fake sheik" when it all came out, I'm sure using Google's Images file would yield one or two. IIRC, the fake sheik really looked very fake.

I had read that there were no photographs in several articles! Just proves that you really cannot believe very much of what you read. Thank you for clarifying!

[suztav]

I'm not condoning this latest lapse of judgement ... I've always like Sarah. However, let's remember that Sophie, Countess of Wessex was caught in a similar (although no video) lapse of judgement situation a few years ago

[Russophile]

Originally Posted by livadia

More and more I think the answer to Sarah's problematic behavior is described in the link below:

Narcissistic personality disorder: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia

Thanks for the interesting link, Livadia.

However, though this seems to fit Sarah's personality to a "T", labeling this type of behavior isn't going to do a damn bit of good if the woman doesn't pull her head out and CHANGE. And since this type of behavior is par for the course since Sarah entered the public area, Russo hasn't any confidence that Sarah will. Sad to say. . .

[muriel]

Originally Posted by suztav

I'm not condoning this latest lapse of judgement ... I've always like Sarah. However, let's remember that Sophie, Countess of Wessex was caught in a similar (although no video) lapse of judgement situation a few years ago

The situation with Sophie was very different!