Options for Sarah to recover from the 'Cash for Access' scandal

[Duchessmary]

My thoughts: Let's see what happens. Sarah has made a ton of mistakes, embarassed herself and her family and is trying to clean up the mess she made. I feel like giving her a chance and wishing her the best.

 

[rmay286]

The video might have been (probably was?) altered, but it doesn't change the reality of what Sarah was doing. She probably didn't say anything before, because she knew she was in the wrong...now she's hoping to whitewash her actions with the story that the video was altered. I can't help but wonder if Prince Andrew is "giving his blessing" (as Sarah says) to all her stories...if so, it reflects very badly on him.

 

[Irish Eyes]

On a more positive note she looks really good in the photoshoot for the magazine, I especially like the red dress.

 

[sliver_bic]

On the surface her comments re the string don't ring through at all, but already today I heard two IT experts on the radio and they were of the opinion that the video was altered with considerably.
(I didn't really understand the hi tech language they were using by way of explanation, but they were saying that part of her sentences were regularly chopped). If true, that begs the question why didn't Sarah speak up before now?...

Because, even if it was altered, the reality is that it was cut for maximum effect but not altering her overall message. If they had, she would've pulled out the context card, probably tried to take them to court. She hasn't because, ultimately, what was seen on the video was the truth, her trying to sell access to Andrew.

 

[sophie25]

I watched the video and she was caught bang to rights. She keeps contradicting herself over it, "Oh I was drunk"; "Oh I was trying to get the money for a friend"; "Oh I just didn't know what I was doing because my head was mixed up" now it's that she didn't do anything at all it was just made to look that way. Give us a break.

 

[HRH Princess Sonya]

The point I would like to make is that none of this is surprising.
It appears Sarah was approached by Oprah within weeks of the scandal last year, and for whatever reasons agreed to do the show.
This might be because she had no other offers, it might have been the best of a bad lot, financially maybe Oprah made her an offer she couldn't refuse, or maybe she thought these professional and experts could actually her. Fast forward a year and she was always going to be making TV appearances and giving interviews to promote the show. I think that would have been very much part of the deal. She kept a low profile for months after the NOTW video, but now with the royal wedding and her TV show she's back in the spotlight. I think we can expect a few more interviews before the show airs, but I hope after the show is aired she will keep a lower profile. On the surface her comments re the string don't ring through at all, but already today I heard two IT experts on the radio and they were of the opinion that the video was altered with considerably.
(I didn't really understand the hi tech language they were using by way of explanation, but they were saying that part of her sentences were regularly chopped). If true, that begs the question why didn't Sarah speak up before now?...

The best that we can hope to come from this is hopefully the deal she made with Oprah was good enough for her to get lost for good........one can only hope.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Even if her words and actions were edited, that wouldn't edit her attitude. It was her attitude that was the shocking part of that video for me. She was tough and business-like when she was discussing the terms. It was like the warm-hearted Sarah disappeared somewhere.

If she wants to recover any of the standing she once had and do some good in the world, she really needs to stop acting and speaking like a victim. Everyone has had some sort of pain and alienation in their lives without enjoying the wealth and perks that Sarah has had. She needs to stop whining and talking about herself and concentrate on those less fortunate than she is. If she's seen helping those who have truly suffered financially--the dispossessed, the homeless, the lonely--then she has a chance of earning back some respect.

(I didn't really understand the hi tech language they were using by way of explanation, but they were saying that part of her sentences were regularly chopped). If true, that begs the question why didn't Sarah speak up before now?...

 

[Irish Eyes]

Even if her words and actions were edited, that wouldn't edit her attitude. It was her attitude that was the shocking part of that video for me. She was tough and business-like when she was discussing the terms. It was like the warm-hearted Sarah disappeared somewhere.

If she wants to recover any of the standing she once had and do some good in the world, she really needs to stop acting and speaking like a victim. Everyone has had some sort of pain and alienation in their lives without enjoying the wealth and perks that Sarah has had. She needs to stop whining and talking about herself and concentrate on those less fortunate than she is. If she's seen helping those who have truly suffered financially--the dispossessed, the homeless, the lonely--then she has a chance of earning back some respect.

Absolutely, I totally agree. Her TV show is very much tied in with the video last year, after it airs she should draw a line in the sand and start afresh. I just wish someone could get through to Sarah, and instead of dwelling on scandal, controversies, past mistakes, and pain, concentrate on all that is good in her life. She obviously has a family who cherish her and support her, she is healthy, she has friends prepared to repeatedly help her out, she still lives in the lap of luxury at Royal Lodge, she is no longer in debt, she has got an engaging personality, when she makes an effort she can look very attractive. Despite everything there are many who would swap places with her. Oh and another thing, 51 and she still has to find a grey hair, she's a very lucky woman!!

 

[HRH Princess Sonya]

Well I see that Oprah Winfrey's Network will be replaying the recent royal wedding with " Unseen Footage" as the second part of a program called Prince William & Catherine. Just like last night I sure there will be " Finding Sarah" promos played during each commerical break.

 

[Russophile]

I can't help but wonder if Prince Andrew is "giving his blessing" (as Sarah says) to all her stories...if so, it reflects very badly on him.

If he did, IMO it makes HRH look awfully stupid.

It seems to me that it is rather up in the air what sort of options Sarah has. When the whole thing airs and the dust settles, I think there will still be some firms (not top notch, mind you) that will want to use her as their spokes person. It's going to be very intersting to see what happens now.

 

[Dymphna]

IMO, there will always be some media person who will write a story on Sarah. I don't think she is capable of doing what I think she should do and that is stay out of the spotlight as much as possible.

This has the potential to reflect badly in a bigger way on Andrew than anything Diana did post-divorce may have reflected on Charles. Andrew and Sarah still live together and she is going all over the world telling everyone how supportive he is and basically saying that he sees things exactly as she does.

 

[HRH Princess Sonya]

If he did, IMO it makes HRH look awfully stupid.

It seems to me that it is rather up in the air what sort of options Sarah has. When the whole thing airs and the dust settles, I think there will still be some firms (not top notch, mind you) that will want to use her as their spokes person. It's going to be very intersting to see what happens now.

Agreed. It make me wonder what sane adult that has been mowed down by somoneone in public as often as he has by the same person would give his blessing to something else that makes him look bad? If that is the case Andrew is in desprite need of a reality check. The reality check he needs reminds of that scene in the moive " Airplane" when the woman on the becomes hysterical and people are lined up to slap her.

 

[Diarist]

Thanks Zonk for that added info . I didn't realize that the Budgie books had been made into a tv show, so that is quite good for her.

Hi Mirabel! Uh-oh, I didn't know there was complaints of plagiarism, hopefully those are not true. Fergie does have the background of Prince Andrew being a helicopter pilot to show why she would choose that at least. I will have to find out more about that. Thanks for the info.

I recall some years back that Princess Michael of Kent was also accused of plagiarism. She has kept writing though.

There is also a huge lawsuit currently against JK Rowling concerning the Harry Potter books by the estate of an author who is now deceased. I have to say the cover of one of this man's books shows the characters looking identical to the later published Potter books. Whether it's true, or not, the estate likely has little chance against all Rowling's millions so I hope that's not true because that would be too cruel for this man's family.

Please can I try to help with a little background information?

The adventures of Budgie the little helicopter did indeed bear a remarkeable similarity to the plots of Hector the helicopter. In defence of Sarah, this was explained away by the fact that [apparently] in children's books there are only a possible 5 'standard' types of plot. One of these is 'heroic rescue' - which features in Budgie AND Hector, but apparently in many other books too!

The real problems about the Budgie books at the time they were published were:

(1) Various degrees of outrage over the fact that the wife of a prominent Royal in receipt of a Civil List allowance [as was the case at that time] was 'cashing in on her royal status', with people also saying that bearing in mind how hard it is to get books published, Sarah's books, however charming they were etc. would not have seen the light of day if they had been written by a non-royal.

(2) Sarah's guiless admission that much of the work was actually done by uncredited editors : 'I just bashed it all out, 4 times too much and then people knocked it into shape to me'.

(3) Much of the charm of the books was felt to be due to the illustrator - Sarah just provided the text.


So far as Princess Michael of Kent was concerned, her career as an author was 'permitted' by the Royal Family without too much of a protest because the Michaels had NO Civil List support and needed to earn money; also PMK said that she would give some of the proceeds to charity when she [said] she asked the Queen for permission to write the books. So far as the plagiarism charges were concerned, Princess Michael's books apparently contain minimal original research [i.e. she did not 'go back' to consult original primary research material] but instead borrowed a lot of other people's books [mostly the from the exclusive private lending library The London Library]. PMK's method was to extract her information from these books and then make comprehensive notes of this information. Unfortunately, her 'note taking' was sometimes not her own interpretation of what she had read, but instead was composed of large chunks of quoted prose. When PMK came to produce her book, she had forgotten what bits in her notes were summaries in her own words and what she had copied out directly. It was these' directly copied chunks', without proper acknowledgement, [or quotation marks] that caused the problem.

Many authors of historical novels who were approached by the newspapers for their comments at the time, also stated that the real problem for PMK was that she was authoring historical books [quite a hard thing to do - not autobiography or romantic fiction etc] without having any proper academic background as a historian to draw on.

From memory, appropriate damages were paid out to the 'quoted but unacknowledged' authors.

I hope some of this helps,

Alex

 

[NotAPretender]

I must say that parts of the interview sounded like blasphemy to my ears - and I am just a believer in God but not attached to any Christian church. But there only very few churches who recognize that vows spoken at the altar on a wedding service include infidelity - and the CoE is not one of them. So when she said: ""I love him. He's my soulmate. It's actually what we said in front of God at the altar: We honor and respect each other until death do us part. The only thing is, he has girlfriends and I have boyfriends." that's so blasphemic, as the part of honouring the other by being truthful and by showing respect to the other is so important. She did nothing but bring shame on him and now calls this "love" and honouring him.

I have no problem with her commiting adultery and live after her own codex of "honour", but she shouldn't bring the sacrament of marriage and God into it. IMHO, of course.

Thank you Kataryn; I couldn't put my finger on why that whole thing made me squirm. And you stated it beautifully.

I am interested to see the ratings on Finding Sarah, and the book sales. I think then we will know in hard numbers whether this choice for Sarah to recover from the latest scandal was successful.

 

[Diarist]

There is so much that I could say about Sarah.........this I regret to say is going to be a long post, but I am trying to set out everything in a comprehensive way.....and it is not easy to be brief.

For a start, I have actually met her a number of times, the first of these being at a Polo match before she was even dating Andrew.

I don't approve of 'Sarah Bashing' but these random thoughts are posted only in an attempt to try to give people a little more information about her.

First things first; Sarah came from a family that was not very, very rich, but her family certainly had capital [Major Ferguson owned a farm] but not a substantial amount of liquid assets [money] but they were what is known as 'comfortable' in England. Both her parents moved in Royal circles.

Sarah was privately educated and then went to an exclusive private secretarial college [Queen's in London] to learn shorthand and typing. She came last in her class, but her report identified as her good points the fact that she was 'a big bouncy [jolly] redhead'.

Whilst no divorce is easy, I think the circumstances of her own parents' split were very hard - imagine one's mother walking out and going to a separate continent when you are only 14. Major Ferguson was also rumoured to have had numerous affairs. Sarah was also at a slight disadvantage in that her sister, Jane, was considered the 'beautiful one' by Major Ferguson. He was socially ambitious for Jane, and kept on trying to 'pair her off' with Prince Charles. Charles was not interested and neither was Jane, who had fallen in love with a Polo groom from Australia. He did have his own farm in Australia, but Major F was reportedly furious with this love match; Jane and the polo groom subsequently married and she went to live in Australia.

After Secretarial College, Sarah had to get a job. She worked as a secretary but was by all accounts more committed to her social life. She loved ski-ing and her first 'serious boyfriend' was Kim Smith-Bingham. Her next boyfriend was Paddy McNally, a wealthy tax exile who lived in Switzerland. Sarah spent periods living with Paddy McN, who used to support her during these visits and also when she went to Ibiza in the summer with him. He did not make her an allowance as such - just paid for her flights and food etc and some of her clothes. Her only 'expensive' present from him was her Cartier Santos wristwatch. Sarah also visited various motor racing grands prix with Paddy - he was very rich through controlling the advertising at Formula One motor racing events. He was a widower and always made it clear to Sarah that he had no intention of marrying her......... in short, although he was rich, in practice he was a pretty 'useless' consort for her in my very humble opinion. It was also the case that poor Sarah had to put up with a lot of snide comments from other people in this flashy world - they were all the stereotypical thin blonde and Sarah was both plump and also red-headed - the latter felt to be a disadvantage in the world of the 'clone blonde'.

During the times when Sarah was not living with McNally [she did stay with him a lot during the ski-ing season] she worked a glorified secretary in London - for an exceptionally modest wage - running the tiny office of Richard Burton, a fine art publisher. She got this job through McNally, as Burton was a friend of him.

Sarah, because of her mother's elopement with the Argentinian Professional Polo Player Hector Barrantes, was also exposed to the wealthy polo crowd. Professional polo players are hired by exceedingly wealthy international businessmen to play alongside them in polo matches. The international polo set parties hard and travels the world in style; the lifestyle is a so-called glamorous one, but in practice people take the view that it is actually quite 'trashy'. It's all a bit 'wheeler-dealery'

In my humble opinion, the strange lifestyles of her parents [and don't forget that Major F used to visit massage parlours] and her exposure to the rich but 'unwholesome world' of Polo and Grand Prix racing gave Sarah a hopeless base on which to build a responsible life. It's a world where you are always looking to make useful contacts, a world where social life is actually based on what is 'useful' to you, rather than friendship.....

I first really noticed Sarah around spring 1981, when she was forever hanging around the newly engaged Diana Spencer at Polo matches. My immediate thought then was that Sarah was looking for an opportunity to make a useful contact.....

At this time Andrew was in the Royal Navy. In 1982, he fought in the Falklands War, where his role was as a helicopter pilot. It was generally acknowledged in Britain that he had performed his role well.... In retrospect, the years 1982 to 1988 were his high point; after that, his life has become progressively less impressive. In other words, after peaking young, it has been 'all downhill'.

When Sarah and Andrew re-met [1985 - they had obviously met years early through the polo world -] the British public had got quite an appetite for 'Royal Matters' because of the development of 'Di-mania' but conversely, people were starting to become a bit jaded with Diana's apparent vanity at that time. 'Fergie' as she was called by the tabloids [and indeed Andrew] bounced onto the scene, and everyone seemed to love her. The 1986 Royal marriage was in fact her high point. For his part, Sarah seemed an odd choice for Andrew - he had had the reputation of always dating models and actresses and was felt to be the best-looking of the Queen's sons 'Ah, Andrew, the one with the Robert Redford good looks' quipped Prince Charles on one occasion. Andrew however at that time was emotionally vulnerable - he had just split from soft-porn actress Koo Stark [who, in addition, had had previous boyfriends who apparently made her 'unsuitable as royal consort herself', and suddenly there was this big, bouncy friendly redhead at Royal Ascot [invited there by her friend Princess Diana], all good fun and paying him attention...to which Andrew easily succumbed... Urged on by a British public both with an appetite for Royal weddings and anxious for a happy ending for the country's 'war hero prince', a wedding soon followed. I know as a fact from my job at that time, that BP was astonished by the speed of the romance - my boss was formally briefed that no engagement was on the cards......only for Andrew to ask the Queen for permission only 6 weeks later...

The problem, in my very humble opinion, was that Sarah had no idea about 'being royal' - hardly her fault, as her own lifestyle had exposed her both to the unsatisfactory parenting of her own parents and the flashy-trashy world of professional polo and motor racing. She also had absolutely no idea of the concept of earning her own living - the expensive trips and lifestyle she enjoyed was always provided by McNally picking up the tab.

 

[Diarist]

Part 2

In my very humble opinion, Sarah both fell in love with Andrew AND HIS POSITION in equal measures. She thought that she had access to unlimited wealth and holidays and was soon 'shopping and spending' in an unsustainable way. She and Prince Andrew chose their friends from a rather trashy selection of showbiz people. At Royal Engagements, instead of adopting the dignified stance of the existing royals, she began to 'liven things up' too much. There were problems at a school visit where - obviously meaning well - Sarah 'decreed that all the pupils could have an immediate holiday'. In practice of course, she had NO power to suggest such a thing. At state banquet, guests reported on the inappropriate sexual jokes she told etc. Sarah's reported comments were that 'things needed livening up a bit'. Again in practice, this was not really appropriate. It is no wonder that the so-called 'grey men' at the Palace began to find Sarah all too much. I am sure she had no malice, but I don't think she had much common sense either.....

The spending began spiralling out of control. My personal opinion was that apart from the fact that many people think that uncontrolled shopping and spending can be the result of an unhappy childhood etc [which I will leave to the psychiatrists], the REAL problem lay in the fact that her friend Princess Diana had access to far more money than Sarah did - the reason was that Diana had access to the [literally] millions of pounds from the Prince of Wales' Duchy of Cornwall, whereas Sarah and Andrew had recourse only to the Civil List. Apart from the Queen however, there is NO other member of the British Royal family who can actually afford a HUGELY expensive lifestyle - think about it, the other members of the BRF cannot afford to continually 'gallivant' around the world on one pleasure trip after another, and their civil-list financed lifestyle is actually in one sense quite modest - it is basically expenses for the performance of royal duties rather than 'personal spending wealth' if you see what I mean.

Apart from the spending problems, the other problem in my very personal and humble opinion was that Sarah married Andrew quickly without really getting to know the 'person'. Andrew was in many respects a bit, well, 'boring' and certainly so when compared to the globe-trotting winter-sporting McNally. Reports from the newspapers suggested that Andrew used to return tired from his naval duties [just like any other naval officer] and just want to 'sink down' tired into his armchair; Sarah however was instead 'up for fun' and wanting to go out.....

It was then that what I see were the seeds of the two most defining events of Sarah's downfall were sown. First, whilst secretly pregnant with Princess Beatrice, Sarah gave a personal interview for MONEY to a journalist on the Daily Express [tabloid newspaper]. This was widely condemned - first, because it was frowned upon for British Royals to give 'personal interviews' - although some royals did give interviews, it was usually to promote charities etc [the Princess Royal gives interviews about Save the Children etc] AND they never did for money. In her interview, Sarah told the Express that she and Andrew 'did not plan children for a while yet', although in reality she had known for some weeks she was pregnant.....and when the story broke, the Express was furious that they had paid a lot of money for....wrong information.

The second event that I think sowed the seeds of Sarah's downfall was one in which she was entirely blameless...pregnancy caused the cancellation of one of her engagements [the opening of something] whereupon the organisation concerned went to a celebrity, the then-fantastically popular TV presenter Selina Scott to 'do the honours' instead. Selina Scott reputedly received a £30,000 fee for her efforts...... and I think this was the watershed event that convinced Sarah that 'Royalty could sell itself'. The 'Budgie' books then followed - a commercial matter - and Sarah was not helped when various commentators began to point out that in their opinion, the books were only published because of WHO Sarah was, rather than for their merit. It was also not lost on the Royal Family and the Grey men that even Princess Michael [who had no Civil List] used to give some of the money from her books to Charity....

Problems continued when Sarah and Andrew posed for 'Hello' magazine after the birth of Princess Beatrice. [Although I have no way of knowing whether this is true, Andrew and Sarah reputedly received a very substantial sum for this - which according to rumour was immediately given to Sarah's mother, Susan Barrantes, to help save her Argentinian Estancia, which she had inherited from her polo playing husband, Hector Barrantes, who had recently died from cancer.] Money and Argentinian estates aside however, it was a fact that the couple had appeared in a huge lengthy photo-spread in Hello, for which the BP grey men were furious with Sarah, reputedly because it made their task of trying to keep the Royal family's personal life out of the newspapers impossible - after all, you can hardly plead for the RF's privacy when two of its members are busy selling themselves and their first-born to Hello....

Andrew meanwhile still continued with his naval career and was away at sea. This was NO different from any other naval officer, but his absence reputedly hit Sarah hard.. She was pregnant with Eugenie at this time, and was miserable with Andrew being away. The British public had begun to feel disenchanted with Sarah - they felt that naval absences were the downside of marrying a naval officer - in other words 'it went with the territory'. In addition, Sarah's 'flashy holiday lifestyle' and her expenditure was starting to grate on a recession-hit British Public. No other member of the BRF was spending money and holidaying in this way. Also, somewhat less seriously, Sarah's apparently appalling dress sense and her ample figure were giving way to 'Duchess of Pork' style comments - stupid and unfair certainly, but that was the reality... acres of poor press comment....

It was about this time that Sarah met Steve Wyatt, the son of Texan socialite Lyn Wyatt, by her previous husband Lipman. Impressed by Royalty, Steve Wyatt became very fond of the pregnant Sarah, and with Andrew away, she welcomed the attention. Matters came to a head when.....[pregnant] Sarah was invited away to a stately home for the weekend, found Wyatt there and was photographed on his knee by a guest. An apparently drunk Wyatt then told the [horrified] hosts who tried to defuse things by suggesting that Sarah got off Wyatt's lap that 'nothing comes between ma woman and me.....' All of which found its way to the papers.....

What Prince Andrew thought of this was never clear, except that various people have speculated - and so we do not know whether it was true or not- that as people never mentioned this to Andrew - and as he never read newspapers etc - that he never knew....

Whatever the truth of the situation though, it presumably convinced Sarah that her 'Royal connection' was a powerful tool.... here was the girl who had actually been rather shabbily treated by her family and acquaintances at various times in her life, suddenly a sought-after and 'important person' and with her royal connections as valuable 'stock-in-trade'.

 

[Diarist]

Part 3

At the time of the split from Andrew, which I remember clearly, apart from the rigours of royal life and engagements which Sarah said she disliked, she at that time had grown bored and tired with Andrew.....

The rest is sad history. I am sure that Sarah found life outside the BRF harder than she thought. Her spending has always been a problem, as she is attempting to fund a lifestyle that no other member of the BRF can actually afford [Queen and Prince Charles excepted]. Wyatt faded away [with his wealthy private-plane Palm Beach lifestyle that so impressed Sarah] to be replaced by the rather undesirable John Bryan....who in turn had some strange friends who tended to try to attach themselves to Sarah and use her proximity to the BRF to promote their own various dodgy enterprises. The toe-sucking photos and the photos of Sarah with Steve Wyatt that surfaced around this time all contributed to the increasing problems Sarah had with Prince Phillip....

Following her divorce, Sarah received a much better settlement than she now pretends [see the other thread] but she has continued to travel round the world on a financially unsustainable lifestyle. Whilst her charity work has been very commendable, her various brushes with trouble over the years [Fake Sheiks, huge debts etc] have not helped. I don't think that people abroad necessarily realise Sarah is no longer 'royal'. Her private commercial enterprises are not actually royal engagements either.... I also think that although there is some residual warm feeling between Sarah and Andrew, the fact is that she needs to be with him in order to continue to 'validate' her [alleged] 'Royal Brand'. I expect that Andrew, retired and now a bit lazy, motivated [apparently] only by his golf does not worry too much about Sarah being at Royal Lodge - it is quite large enough for the couple to keep out of each other's way...

Where to now for Sarah? It has always been my personal view that because she 'needs' Andrew's 'imprint' to validate her money-making schemes, she can never marry anyone else unless they are ENORMOUSLY rich - on any future marriage to a non-royal or titled person, she loses the right to call herself 'Sarah, Duchess of York'... the best thing for her really would be to drop out of public life entirely for a bit......financing this might be hard, but I daresay that in return for dropping her 'Sarah, Duchess of York' title, the Queen might be prepared to come up with a sufficient allowance and a grace-and-favour house for Sarah. Admittedly, it may be a bit tough on the Queen, who gave Sarah a settlement that she soon squandered in 1996, to have to fund her errant daughter in law all over again, but the upside could mean that the 2012 Jubilee celebrations would not be marred by further bad press regarding Sarah.

None of the above is meant to be offensive in any way to Sarah; indeed, as I hope I have made out, I believe that many of her problems stem from her own unfortunate upbringing, but at the end of the day, she is well over 50 now and with respect, I think she now has to mend her ways...

Thanks for bearing with me on this one; and these are only my views,

Alex.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Your posts, Alex, have brought back a lot of memories for me. I'm again disturbed by the actions of Sarah's mother; as you said, leaving the family and moving to another continent. It's such a selfish thing for a mother to do. Do you know whether Susan Barrantes ever sought custody of the children?

 

[Katrianna]

Your posts, Alex, have brought back a lot of memories for me. I'm again disturbed by the actions of Sarah's mother; as you said, leaving the family and moving to another continent. It's such a selfish thing for a mother to do. Do you know whether Susan Barrantes ever sought custody of the children?

Alex, thank you again for presenting a factual, yet unbiased account. I may not remember this right, but weren't Fergie and Paddy McNally seen together as late as the Dec. before she and Andrew were engaged that Febr. or March? In addition, didn't Sarah have one of her father's mistresses as one of her ladies-in -waiting? Thank you in advance.

 

[rmay286]

The problem, in my very humble opinion, was that Sarah had no idea about 'being royal' - hardly her fault, as her own lifestyle had exposed her both to the unsatisfactory parenting of her own parents and the flashy-trashy world of professional polo and motor racing. She also had absolutely no idea of the concept of earning her own living - the expensive trips and lifestyle she enjoyed was always provided by McNally picking up the tab.

Thanks for your thoughts, Diarist. I didn't mind the length, because it was very interesting to read your opinions. I'm quoting this part because it had never occurred to me before that even when Sarah worked in publishing, she wasn't funding her own lifestyle - Paddy McNally was paying for her.

I don't understand Sarah's problems with money, but I'm starting to see that whatever is at the root of the financial problems is at the root of all her other problems as well. Sarah's behaviour is like a little girl looking for someone to take care of her. The way Diarist described it, I can see now that Sarah really never learned to live responsibly as an adult...she watched her parents living off their glamorous connections, and she went almost straight from her father to a much older, wealthy man...and then to the royal family...and then lived off her royal connections for the next decade or so.

Part of being an adult is facing reality - facing up to what we can and cannot do. As little children, we all dream of becoming something exciting - firefighter, pilot, princess, or even something as simple as the "perfect mother." When we become adults, most of us don't achieve these dreams; and even when we do - for example, becoming a pilot - it takes a lot of hard work. It seems like Sarah has never experienced this. She literally did become a princess, and she didn't do anything to earn it - it just happened to her, almost. So she still lives in that childlike fantasy world where, if she wants something, someone can make it happen. Most of us here saw how ridiculous Sarah looked when she asked the "sheikh" for 500,000 pounds for access to Andrew...but Sarah didn't see it. She has no concept of money or limits: just that when she wants something, someone should be able to give it to her.

I didn't see it as clearly before, but by explaining more of Sarah's background, Diarist really illuminated it for me. I think Sarah had very bad parenting as a child. It was more than her mother leaving her; I think that even before that, her parents must have neglected her emotionally and failed to teach her responsibility.

What I don't quite understand (and probably none of us do) is why Sarah needs to live a luxurious lifestyle with the expensive vacations, designer bags, etc. I know that she doesn't need to...but she acts as though she needs to. It seems to go beyond simple greed. At this point, most people would have decided to live within their means; but Sarah still seems to be flying around the world (in Thailand during the royal wedding) while looking for the next quick fix.

 

[Renata4711]

Alex, your assessment of the Sarah situation is astute and well written.
Are you a professional journalist ?

I think the word "needs" is indeed the key to Sarah's predicaments......

We all have needs .... we need to have needs..... but there is a limit.

 

[Princess of Durham]

What puzzles me about all this is why, given Sarah's personal background, permssion was given for the marriage. Was it because of the Koo Stark situation possibly and the feeling of not wanting to say "no" again. Even though Andrew was the spare it would seem that more concern would have been given to his choice of a wife as her personal life was not exactly white as the driven snow which seems to have been of so much concern at that time OR was that attitude just with regard the POW?

 

[Mermaid1962]

Which is perhaps why her former husband referred to her as "my third child." I'm beginning to see a link between Sarah's personal history and her charity Chances for Children. Sarah, as a child, didn't have a chance. Perhaps she was and is an immature person who knows how to act like an adult at times but is, inside, that little girl who wants to please the neglectful grown-ups of 40 to 45 years ago. Maybe she had a mental acceptance that Andrew would necessarily be away a lot; but when it actually happened, she felt like she was abandoned again.

So for her to "recover", maybe she needs to re-address those early abandonment issues. Abandonment is a very strong fear for anyone who's ever had to deal with anything like that. Sarah, for all her jolliness, might have been as fragile as Diana was when she married into the BRF. The Royal Family--with its ancient history and its palaces--can appear to be very solid and dependable to someone who wants permanence and reassurance.

Sarah's behaviour is like a little girl looking for someone to take care of her.

 

[Kataryn]

What puzzles me about all this is why, given Sarah's personal background, permssion was given for the marriage. Was it because of the Koo Stark situation possibly and the feeling of not wanting to say "no" again. Even though Andrew was the spare it would seem that more concern would have been given to his choice of a wife as her personal life was not exactly white as the driven snow which seems to have been of so much concern at that time OR was that attitude just with regard the POW?

I think at that time people including the Royals actually liked Sarah and did not see to the base of her character - overall she is friendly, funny, helpful and (to the older Royals) respectful, she surely knew the rules of Court and social life in Royal circles, was down-to-earth on the other hand. One can really imagine her blooming at Balmoral (for a time), helping with the barbecue etc. That there is an empty core which constantly needs to be filled and fueled by attention, money, shopping, being on the move etc. was not to be seen at first.

And Andrew was no longer a child, but a "war hero" with the tendencies to live a loose lifestyle ("Randy Andy"), so I guess they hoped he would settle down with a lively girl who would never bore him.

 

[Mermaid1962]

I think so, too. There seemed to be relief as much as pleasure when Andrew settled down with a girl of "good, country stock." She also had aristocracy in her background, which was in her favour.

And Andrew was no longer a child, but a "war hero" with the tendencies to live a loose lifestyle ("Randy Andy"), so I guess they hoped he would settle down with a lively girl who would never bore him.

 

[monica17]

Very interesting and informative, Diarist/Alex! Thank you!

I've only read up on Sarah on a very "commercial" book on the BRF so it's really great to have alternative views on her and her spending.

 

[rmay286]

Maybe she had a mental acceptance that Andrew would necessarily be away a lot; but when it actually happened, she felt like she was abandoned again.

So for her to "recover", maybe she needs to re-address those early abandonment issues. Abandonment is a very strong fear for anyone who's ever had to deal with anything like that.

I think so, too - when Andrew was in the navy, Sarah felt that he had abandoned her to a lonely, restrictive royal life that she hadn't been prepared for, and couldn't adapt to.

In the "Finding Sarah" preview segment with Dr. Phil, Sarah describes her mother's death. She says, very coolly, "She was decapitated." Dr. Phil stares at her and says, "You just described a very traumatic incident as though you were telling me what you had for lunch." Sarah looks back at him unblinkingly. "Oh - should I be different?"

Like Dr. Phil, I was struck by Sarah's emotionless description of the event. It was like she was barely describing a human being, let alone her own mother. Yet she sheds tears when she describes losing her life in the royal family. It doesn't seem to make sense. Even though Sarah claims to have forgiven her mother, when she talks about her, she seems completely emotionally detached.

 

[Kataryn]

Like Dr. Phil, I was struck by Sarah's emotionless description of the event. It was like she was barely describing a human being, let alone her own mother. Yet she sheds tears when she describes losing her life in the royal family. It doesn't seem to make sense. Even though Sarah claims to have forgiven her mother, when she talks about her, she seems completely emotionally detached.

Here in Germany we have at the moment the fact that the children born during WWII are retiring. So it's a common problem now for them that the scares and emotional scars they received as children come up now that their life changes from being busy to being more relaxed. That is a tough thing for many. Now. But they have managed to live peaceful and good lifes during most of their adult years. So it's not the bad childhood itself in many cases who make life difficult for somebody but the chance to indulge in these childhood fears and scars.

Sarah has gotten attention and pampering throughout her whole life. To say it harshly: she has always speculated that she would be "kept" in one way or the other by either family or men. And she grew so accustumed to that kind of "keeping" that she lost any contact with the real world and the concept of being responsible for her own life.

I don't pity her and the hole in which she is now is of her own making. There were enough opportunities where she could have decided in a different way but she didn't. I only feel sad for her daughters who won't get a chance to get off their mother's emotional hook without massive willpower and the willingness to fight her and accept the guilt Sarah will IMHO try to install in them. Especially as Sarah surely is convinced that she is right in clinging to her daughters because "she does not walk out of them like her own mother did".

Maybe the decision of the BRF that the York-girls will not become working Royals but inseatd shape their own future is a way to protect them from their mother. I wouldn't wonder if Sarah showed up the first time Beatrice unveiled a plaque in an official function as representative of the queen... So better for Beatrice not to do that! Not even Sarah will follow Beatrice to her place of work, so...

Oh, it's a sad story.

 

[Princess of Durham]

I don't think the "being kept" comment is harsh. In fact, when I was reading the comments by Diarist that was exactly the thought that came to mind and one of the reasons for my question. Essentially Sarah was a kept woman when Andrew came along (off and on) and I just wondered why that had not had a negative influence in the acceptance by the BRF in the very beginning. Whatever the reasons she is a mess and yes, I suspect the decision of not having Beatrice and Eugenie working royals may in fact be because of Sarah hanging on to them.

 

[Russophile]

In addition, didn't Sarah have one of her father's mistresses as one of her ladies-in -waiting? .

Lesley Player. Find her book, it's very interesting and gives an interesting perspective on the whole scandal as well as sets precedent for Sarah who keeps making the same mistakes over and over and over again.
Now, what is she to do? Or what is she doing?