Options for Sarah to recover from the 'Cash for Access' scandal - Page 42

Tyger · #**821** 07-05-2011, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Eyes

Sorry Tyger, the show isn't available in Europe so would you mind filling in the blanks .... I know we could speculate and debate whether Andrew was aware of Sarah's meetings and discussions, and then took the fall for the both of them. But what do you mean that she might have been doing it for Andrew and that he was using her in this way???

Oh, I thought everyone was seeing it - then its not fair to discuss it maybe?

But to clarify - the psychologist identifies that Sarah wants to please and be liked - those are her motivations. She kept saying that she did the 'access to Andrew' to get money 'for a friend'. When I watched, it felt like she was in some sort of denial - in fact, she 'spins' that event in several ways - suggesting (to me) that there is something underneath it all that she is trying to avoid saying. If she and Andrew were in this together - if she were doing the 'pitch' with Andrew fully part of it (as in aware) - then she is protecting him. She can't talk about it - she has to move on as she keeps saying - because she depends on Andrew for a place to live, etc. Plus I think she still loves him - there is still love there so she is at his behest - possibly - I am spinning. Its a scenario - but total speculation on my part based on something someone said on these threads that got me thinking.

In the end Dr Phil says to her - you have to learn to just say 'no' and not be worried about being liked/accepted. Something so simple but it was like a light bulb going off in her mind. She does not appear to be - or to have been - very self-reflective. There were a few moments when I was taken aback at her lack of understanding of phrases and words - like 'primordial'. Phrases were used that a well-educated person would know - yet she asked 'what does that mean?' Unusual. Made me wonder where she got her education - did she attend university? Anyway, its interesting watching her go through this - and its clear what her motivations are. Its unambiguous.

PrincessKaimi · #**822** 07-05-2011, 09:18 PM

Again, none of this bars her from employment within the daytime talkshow media - which is probably what she's hoping for (if she strategies at all).

I'm struck by how limited Sarah is (her show was one for 2 hours today, so I finally got to see snippets). She looks bewildered most of the time.

AristoCat · #**823** 07-05-2011, 09:38 PM

It would be interesting to see how she would do as a talk show host.

shari-aree · #**824** 07-05-2011, 10:09 PM

Unfortunately for Sarah, I think the best thing she could do is remove herself from publicity - I say unfortunately because I do believe she feels the need to prove herself publicly.
Sarah has to accept that she is divorced, and therefore not a Royal anymore.
(this makes me sad because I always liked her)
It is the best thing she could do for her daughters, the Princesses need to be able to grow without fear of new revelations bringing bad publicity to them - through no fault of their own.
If Sarah was provided for financially, she would not need to speak to any TV or Magazine reporters...so it is in the "firms" best interested to ensure she is taking care of - modestly NOT in grandeur - so that wants for nothing but lives out of the lime light.
In time we would see her at her daughters' events; Birthdays, Engagements & Weddings and we could all cheer for her discreetness and elegance.
Long live Fergie - just quietly so as to protect herself and her girls. xoxo

AristoCat · #**825** 07-05-2011, 10:20 PM

She should have an income in exchange for a quiet life and she should have a conservator handle her money and give her an allowance.

Meadow · #**826** 07-05-2011, 10:42 PM

How much would be enough? Sarah wants a lifestyle beyond her means and I don't see why the Queen should pay for that. I also don't see her going off quietly she likes to be seen and get the attention of the press. I agree she needs someone to look after her money I just don't think she would like to be told no when she wants to go buy a new expensive handbag or something else she doesn't really need but she wants.

Irish Eyes · #**827** 07-05-2011, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyger

Oh, I thought everyone was seeing it - then its not fair to discuss it maybe?

But to clarify - the psychologist identifies that Sarah wants to please and be liked - those are her motivations. She kept saying that she did the 'access to Andrew' to get money 'for a friend'. When I watched, it felt like she was in some sort of denial - in fact, she 'spins' that event in several ways - suggesting (to me) that there is something underneath it all that she is trying to avoid saying. If she and Andrew were in this together - if she were doing the 'pitch' with Andrew fully part of it (as in aware) - then she is protecting him. She can't talk about it - she has to move on as she keeps saying - because she depends on Andrew for a place to live, etc. Plus I think she still loves him - there is still love there so she is at his behest - possibly - I am spinning. Its a scenario - but total speculation on my part based on something someone said on these threads that got me thinking.

In the end Dr Phil says to her - you have to learn to just say 'no' and not be worried about being liked/accepted. Something so simple but it was like a light bulb going off in her mind. She does not appear to be - or to have been - very self-reflective. There were a few moments when I was taken aback at her lack of understanding of phrases and words - like 'primordial'. Phrases were used that a well-educated person would know - yet she asked 'what does that mean?' Unusual. Made me wonder where she got her education - did she attend university? Anyway, its interesting watching her go through this - and its clear what her motivations are. Its unambiguous.

Ok, thanks very much for your kind reply Tyger.
Don't worry at all, everyone has been discussing the show.

Kellydofc · #**828** 07-06-2011, 12:03 AM

I feel sorry for Sarah. I really think that she has a lot of problems. I do think that she feels that she was neglected and perhaps abused as a child. Maybe other people don't see it that way but in the end it's how the abused person feels that matters. She clearly is trying to make up for something she feels was lacking in her life and I think that she feels what was lacking was love.
It's VERY easy to be on the outside of that and say "just get over it." But for those of us who grew up that way it can be a life long struggle to put it behind you and learn to love yourself.
I am sorry if other people don't see it that way but there is something about her that makes me feel in my gut that Sarah really does have extremely low self esteem. If she can't get help then she won't ever get better and will constantly be looking outside herslef for that love and acceptance.

shari-aree · #**829** 07-06-2011, 12:38 AM

[but there is something about her that makes me feel in my gut that Sarah really does have extremely low self esteem. If she can't get help then she won't ever get better and will constantly be looking outside herslef for that love and acceptance.[/QUOTE]

I agree that she needs love and support; emotionally and financially to help her heal within herself and her "image".
But it is in her and her Daughters' best interests that she seeks help quietly, discreetly and in a manner so as not to bring any unwanted bad attention to any of her family.
She may then hold her head up and say at least I did right by them in the end!
xoxo love to Sarah xoxo

Tyger · #**830** 07-06-2011, 12:38 AM

What comes across very clearly - and something she articulates very well - is that she is in 'nostalgic grief'. The poor thing, one can well imagine! She is looking at her life and regretting her choices - clearly she is regretting the loss of her marriage to Andrew - but there is nothing she can do to make it all back to the way it was. She talks about the pain of being excluded from her daughters' celebrations - like Christmas. Its really heart-rending - and true.

What also comes through clearly is that she wants to support herself. She lost everything with the 'access to Andrew' scandal. All her income dried up. (Bizarrely, she states at one point that she was not aware she had crossed a line with the 'access to Andrew' situation. I really think there is more to it than she will ever be able to say - else risk ostracism to Siberia.) She is adamant to Suze Ormond - the financial advisor/life coach - that she must support herself. She seems to want her own life in the US - she's received here and accepted for who she is.

Its clear she feels worthless - she states it. Others state it to her.

She comes across as vulnerable and a 'jolly sort' up for anything - she's likeable. I think the show 'Finding Sarah' is pulling in an audience, too. I don't think she could handle an interview show - she really doesn't seem suited for that, its not where her 'intelligence' lies - yet who knows. I could see her managing some sort of show. Its a question of finding the right concept. I hope she comes through with something - and I think it will happen - because Oprah identifies with her as Oprah even says that Sarah is where Oprah was at the age of 23. Oprah went through much of her own struggle and personal development through her show, with her audience. In a way, the show 'Finding Sarah' is her audition, or 'extended interview'. If its a success, Oprah may give her additional work. We'll see!

Tsaritsa · #**831** 07-06-2011, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fascinator

I don't disagree with you. The Queen has no obligation to her at all. However, Sarah's faults are not youthful transgressions. She truly has poor judgement and a lack of conscience. I don't think that Andrew and her daughters would be so forgiving unless they realized she was not going to get better and miraculously change.

If you accept that she will not change, perhaps because she is incapable of it, she will, with the excuse of needing money, engage in increasingly degrading acts. Sometimes, people are beyond "punishment"- they don't know how low is low enough. I have known people like this. You are left with two choices: let them sink, or help them, even though they may not deserve it. I am suggesting that the Queen could choose the latter.

Fascinator, I've just found your post-GREAT, I couldn't agree more. Sarah will not change-Sarah cannot change and for that matter, it's impossible for ANY of us to go beyond the boundries of our own parameters making our scope for change limited. Add to this the very real possibility, in Sarah's case, of HPD, the behaviours she displays are typical of it, and I fear that the only permanent "cure" would be a frontal lobotomy, which, thankfully, is no longer used. I, too, have experienced these personality types, and have been taken in by their guileless naivete until it dawned on me that this was my Groundhog Day and I was enabling them. Like you, I see two choices but deciding which one to take is much easier when ones is sitting on the sidelines.

Renata4711 · #**832** 07-06-2011, 04:35 AM

I wonder how many of us here have a university degree in psychology ?

And is it helpful to refer to other people as "personality types" ?

Or mentioning "frontal lobotomy" ?

Iluvbertie · #**833** 07-06-2011, 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Renata4711

I wonder how many of us here have a university degree in psychology ?

And is it helpful to refer to other people as "personality types" ?

Or mentioning "frontal lobotomy" ?

Not a degree but I did do two years of psychology in my History degree and as a requirement for my teaching qualification.

Am I qualified to describe someone else's mental state etc - definitely not.

rmay286 · #**834** 07-06-2011, 11:10 AM

I did a minor in psychology in university, but - I don't really think it's such a good idea to diagnose public figures (who we don't know) with personality disorders. It doesn't just happen on this forum, I've seen it on other forums as well.

Russophile · #**835** 07-06-2011, 06:52 PM

Well that's got Russo beat. She used to fall asleep in Psych class every day at 3:15. (Found out later it was anemia. Poor teacher probably thought she was a bore as Russo sat right up front.)

Mermaid1962 · #**836** 07-07-2011, 12:29 AM

Didn't she try that once or twice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AristoCat

It would be interesting to see how she would do as a talk show host.

Mermaid1962 · #**837** 07-07-2011, 12:35 AM

I wish her peace of mind and a purpose; and, from that, comes contentment and even happiness.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NotHRH

I am glad there are people who do not wish ill for the Duchess of York.

Mermaid1962 · #**838** 07-07-2011, 12:48 AM

She did what was called a "business course". Now it would be called an administrative assistant's course. It's a course of one or two years that teaches skills necessary for working in an office.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyger

There were a few moments when I was taken aback at her lack of understanding of phrases and words - like 'primordial'. Phrases were used that a well-educated person would know - yet she asked 'what does that mean?' Unusual. Made me wonder where she got her education - did she attend university?

Tyger · #**839** 07-07-2011, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid1962

She did what was called a "business course". Now it would be called an administrative assistant's course. It's a course of one or two years that teaches skills necessary for working in an office.

Ah, thank you, explains a lot. Its clear her intellect is not 'well-stocked' - which is not saying she is not bright and intelligent. She appears to be a very good-hearted, even simple, soul. Given that, it is amazing what she has accomplished in her life - truly remarkable - and I'm not talking about marrying a prince. The idea that she is lazy and someone who lives off others is a remarkable spin the media has successfully engineered (I guess, who else would it be?) because in no way has she been anything but enterprising, hardworking and creative.

rmay286 · #**840** 07-07-2011, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyger

AGiven that, it is amazing what she has accomplished in her life - truly remarkable - and I'm not talking about marrying a prince. The idea that she is lazy and someone who lives off others is a remarkable spin the media has successfully engineered (I guess, who else would it be?) because in no way has she been anything but enterprising, hardworking and creative.

I think Sarah can be hard-working and enterprising - but perhaps about the wrong projects?