Options for Sarah to recover from the 'Cash for Access' scandal

[Moonmaiden23]

Yes, I remember that comment from PA. It didn't creep me out at all, I found it rather poignant in fact.

Sarah's daughters seem much more mature and more together than their mother.

[murphy's mom]

I sincerely hope she's finally getting the professional help--both psychological and financial--that she so obviously needs.

[Wisteria]

In all this talk about how Sarah got herself out of debt, even though she managed to get herself into debt again as quick as lightning, it is quite often forgotten that her debts meant that a lot of people were owed money and they in turn, perhaps, got into debt but had no Prince Andrew to help them out.
As to the Queen helping her out, she has at least once, and I can´t see any reason on this planet for her to do it again. Was it the Queen´s son who was caught out betraying his wife? No, it wasn´t, his great sin, it seems, was to be in the Navy doing his duty and then spending too much time on his hobby instead of dancing attention on his wife, well at least the attention she wanted.
Sarah got herself into debt, she found that America loved her and she could make money there but then did a very stupid thing and burnt her boats and it must have come as a great shock to her that even her adoring American audience were growing tired of her antics.
I have nothing against her going for a free holiday but to me her life seems to be one long holiday with holidays in the middle to get over, and to get comfort for the mistakes that she, herself, makes over and over again.
I am afraid that the old adage "a leopard can´t change its spots" is very much to the point with Sarah, and I sincerely hope that the Queen does not step in yet once again, making it possible for Sarah to recover enough to start spending and getting into debt once again.

[Lumutqueen]

Wow we manage to agree again Wisteria.
Everything in your post is exactly what I think. All she does is escape on these "free holidays" i don't know who gives her a free holiday, I certainly wouldn't.

Other people are in Sarah's position and they have no Queen to bail them out, and Sarah is the ex daughter in law, The Queen should not feel obliged to "shut her up" she should know her place and keep her mouth stum.

Sarah will do this again, and someone again will bail her out. But who? Is she going to turn to her daughters again? Or how about her daughters boyfriend? Or even William and Harry? She might ask them for money because she was "friends with their mum" I wouldn't put it past her.

A leopard can never change its spots and Sarah certainly never will.

[georgiea]

Originally Posted by Mermaid1962

Some people thought it "creepy" that Andrew referred to Sarah as his "third child" in a speech that he made fairly recently (his or her 50th birthday, perhaps?). I'm coming to think that this was a truth spoken in jest. He's her guardian as well as her one-time husband.

Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23

Mermaid I think you are right...she seems a very damaged child-woman and after reading her memoirs I kind of understand why.

To be brief, Sarah's mum Susan sounds like one of the worst mothers EVER. God rest her soul, but what sort of woman tells her thirteen year old daughter to avoid all mirroirs because she is ugly??

I think Mermaid and Moonmaid you both hit it on the head. Sarah, Duchess of York and Prince Andrew have a understanding in their strange relationship. I believe the Duchess is a damaged child-woman from her teens and is like a third child to the Prince.

[muriel]

I suspect any bail out from HM comes with pre-conditions. If I were in HMs position, I would require that Sarah virtually dissappears from public view and is not allowed to speak to the press at all, or engage in any business ventures.

[NotAPretender]

Originally Posted by muriel

I suspect any bail out from HM comes with pre-conditions. If I were in HMs position, I would require that Sarah virtually dissappears from public view and is not allowed to speak to the press at all, or engage in any business ventures.

That would be very on-the-mark and shrewd - I agree with that.

Beyond anything else, this seems to sum up that Sarah is unsuitable material as a Royal or as a wife. Before this, there was a (very!) remote shot at remarriage, the flames being fanned by Sarah (of course) who wants us to think she is so very dazzling. Well, she's proved herself a dud, again and again.

Andrew's remarks about Sarah being a "third child" say to me that he is smarter than I give him credit for...and that saying that publicly neatly scotches any idea of remarriage to her. Who would marry a child? Perhaps when they were both in their romping twenties, it made sense, but someone has to grow up and Sarah didn't.

At any rate, the Queen is making the smart move here (as she has so many times) and I think she is taking steps to sew this up. I doubt sincerely if it means more direct money to Sarah as in she gets a cheque for XX each month, but more along the lines of goods and services being provided (housing, food, transportation) and a schedule where the Duke of York's office approves appointments & engagements and handles the money, including a pocket allowance. You have to treat a child as a child.

I would LOVE to have heard what the Duke of Edinburgh had to say about all this. Can you imagine?

One last thought: ANY fool that gives Sarah ANYTHING without payment in full, in cash, up front from this point forward is out of their cotton-pickin' mind. Legal services, spa services, anything at all. Sarah is un-credit-worthy in any respect and at least everyone knows it now.

And just for the record? I didn't watch Charles & Diana's wedding, but I thought the world of this couple. What a tawdry outcome.

[NotAPretender]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

In all this talk about how Sarah got herself out of debt, even though she managed to get herself into debt again as quick as lightning, it is quite often forgotten that her debts meant that a lot of people were owed money and they in turn, perhaps, got into debt but had no Prince Andrew to help them out.

<<---This queenly emoticon awarded to you for the incredible reminder that Sarah, by stiffing others and being a deadbeat, did NOT "just" hurt herself: she damaged others. An archaic legal term is "theft of services" - and that applies.

[Osipi]

Originally Posted by murphy's mom

I sincerely hope she's finally getting the professional help--both psychological and financial--that she so obviously needs.

The more I read, the more I wonder if perhaps Sarah is bi-polar. It was the "third child" remark that hit me with this idea. I have a family friend that is seriously bi-polar and I'd honestly have to say that Sarah probably handles her finances better which is a clue how bad bi-polarism can get.

With this disease and my friend, she has long suffered from self esteem issues, lives in the now with no thought to next week (as in... oh its not due till the 28th... I'll pay it later. It goes in the drawer and never gets paid), and it destabilizes her to be out of her "comfort zone".. what she is used to, she can handle. Throw her in a new enviroment or change things and its not a pretty picture.
She is very much like a child that needs to "be taken care of".

Hopefully with guidance from Andrew's office with someone in charge to make rational decisions for Sarah, she'll be able to settle into a better life for herself.

[rmay286]

Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23

Mermaid I think you are right...she seems a very damaged child-woman and after reading her memoirs I kind of understand why.

I`m not familiar enough with the symptoms of bipolar disorder to be able to say if Sarah seems to have them, but I too honestly think a lot of Sarah`s problems are related to her childhood. It`s like she never learned to live in the real world because no one ever taught her how to do it, and it didn`t help that she became a member of the royal family.

I wonder if there`s more history to Sarah`s relationship with her parents that have made her who she is today--beyond just the fact that her mother abandoned her. I remember she said in her autobiography that even before her parents split up, she was always trying to please her parents and that when her mother left, she actually felt relieved at first because she no longer had to take responsibility for her mother`s happiness. Also, the first time I read Sarah`s autobiography, one anecdote really struck me: Sarah said that in her early teens she had a bad dream and went into her father`s room for comfort, only to find him in bed with another woman who became furious with Sarah for (in her opinion) deliberately barging in on them. I was probably about 12 or 13 at the time myself when I read this, and it really made an impression on me.

It seems like Sarah was always looking for guidance or reassurance from her parents, and they were too busy living their own lives to give her any. I almost think that there was a lot more emotional abuse/neglect that went on even before the Fergusons`divorce, and we just don`t hear about it because Sarah did try to forgive her parents for their faults.

[Russophile]

If Sarah is really hooked up with the past from her upbringing there is a excellent book out by Dr. Laura Schlessinger called "Bad Childhood, Good Life." It would do her a world of good to ready it, absorb it, and move on with her life.

[sliver_bic]

The issue with blaming her childhood is that it's another cop out. Yes, many people have had bad backgrounds and we understand that it affects people but eventually it stops being the excuse.

A person who comes from an alcoholic background has a greater chance of being one but when that person keeps falling off the wagon 'cause he won't go to AA or another treatment we eventually throw our hands up, we care for them, we want to help them but eventually it comes down to wanting to save yourself.

Sarah has actually done it backwards, she did it on her own first, refusing a big divorce settlement in an effort to maintain good relations, dragging herself out of the hole she was in and then blowing it all up and now she's being bailed out.

She reminds me a bit of Edward VIII, he was such an issue after abdication that his brother had to shuffle him to the Caribbean to keep him out of trouble because of his supposed Nazi sympathies. Sarah, while not tat extreme is simply a time bomb, no matter how much control they have over her, she'll continue to make a scene if she isn't taught restraint. She'll live by their rules but still enjoy the perks, (the Branson family is deep in with the royals so those vacations don't seem like they'll go away). She'll continue to want to live the high life to the furthest possible extent and if she isn't taught otherwise she'll chafe and eventually make a scene.

[tommy1716]

If Sarah is going to get back on her feet and pay off her (reported) debt how should she do it? What would be an ideal job/role for her?

[rmay286]

It`s not as easy as just "moving on", though. A lot of people do have traumatic childhoods and can`t get over this even in middle age, and I know this from personal experience with quite a few of these people. Some people have very sensitive personalities and their experiences in their childhoods make a lasting emotional impression on them.

Anyway, no, I don`t think Sarah`s childhood should be "blamed" for her financial problems. Clearly she has some problems to deal with. Sarah doesn`t seem to think or think wisely before she acts, so it`s probably a good thing that she`s taking some time out from public life--it will give her a chance to think without acting. I think businesspeople and such have been letting her get away with her overspending because dealing with "The Duchess of York" is good PR for them. Sarah needs to get to the point where she really, really has no money and no one who is willing to make risky loans or do risky business deals with her. If she got to that point, she would have to deal with the fact of having no money, just like anyone else would. Unfortunately I do think she`ll "continue to want to live the high life to the furthest possible extent" as silver_bic says. The best thing that can happen to Sarah (as bad as it sounds) is that she keeps experiencing the fallout from the News of the World sting--in terms of her reputation and people not being as willing to lend her money.

Originally Posted by tommy1716

If Sarah is going to get back on her feet and pay off her (reported) debt how should she do it? What would be an ideal job/role for her?

Sarah should be involved with some kind of an NGO or charity, a community revitalization project or something like that, but away from the practical side of it. She needs to be a spokesperson for the organization and a motivator and networker for people who do the actual groundwork. Weight Watchers didn`t keep Sarah for ten years just because she was Sarah, Duchess of York--she was actually a good spokesperson for Weight Watchers.

The only thing is that a job like this won`t pay Sarah the big money that she`s used to from Weight Watchers, Wedgewood, her public speaking engagements etc. I think those days are gone. I don`t know how long it will take Sarah to figure this out, though.

[Mermaid1962]

Andrew's sister-in-law, Diana, said that he was underestimated, in her opinion. I've thought the same for awhile.

Originally Posted by NotAPretender

Andrew's remarks about Sarah being a "third child" say to me that he is smarter than I give him credit for....

[Duchess]

sarah doesn't seem to show the classic symptoms of bi polar. while her actions tend to get her into trouble, she isn't irrational. i love her but to be honest she is just plain irresponsible. blaming her issues on her upbringing is indeed a cop out. she is a grown woman who gives no thought to the consequences of her actions. she was in financial trouble before so she knew what put her there. to have done the same thing AGAIN...inexcuseable.

[Lighthouse]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

If you are virtually bankrupt you have to sack the staff no matter how faithful they have been. She has no choice.

Of course. I meant in the manner in which it was done.

[Moonmaiden23]

Originally Posted by Duchess

sarah doesn't seem to show the classic symptoms of bi polar. while her actions tend to get her into trouble, she isn't irrational. i love her but to be honest she is just plain irresponsible. blaming her issues on her upbringing is indeed a cop out. she is a grown woman who gives no thought to the consequences of her actions. she was in financial trouble before so she knew what put her there. to have done the same thing AGAIN...inexcuseable.

I don't think I was really blaming her upbringing for her behavior..I was trying to provide some insight into why she acts the way she does...she is irresponsible and I believe nurtures a very deep seated self loathing that maybe subconsciously makes her want to screw up her life.

Because she was conditioned to dislike herself very early in life.

You are correct...it is never too late to step up, recognize what is wrong, and take steps to heal and correct.

[Duchess]

ahhh ok, i understand where you're coming from.

IMO she appears to be very impulsive. i might be wrong - perhaps it just appears that way next to the extremely structured life of a royal but if she would just seek out and follow good advice it would help her immensely.

[Iluvbertie]

Knowing from personal experience seeking out and following good advice is way easier said than done. Having suffered with severe depression and been suicidal in the couple of years after my mother's death I couldn't find anyone to help me (including the supposed depression help line in this country who were no use whatsoever so whenever I see them begging for money in shopping centres I go and listen to their spiel and then give them a spray for the lies that they are telling people).

If I could have someone to give good advice at that time I would be a lot closer to healing now - but what has saved me is my own faith that God wants me to live until he says it is time to go but nothing else.