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-   -   Do royal couples register for their weddings? (http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/f95/do-royal-couples-register-for-their-weddings-7235.html)

Ditebaby 09-12-2005 10:23 PM

Do royal couples register for their weddings?
 
I was just being cheesy and decided to watch Princess Diaries 2:p . It was during the wedding part when my brain started spinning. And I was wondering Do royal couples actually register at different store for wedding gifts? And then I started thinking they don't need the normal blender and toaster gifts that are normally given. So what do you give a royal couple for their wedding?:confused:

Sean.~ 09-13-2005 03:07 AM

Some do. For example, Edward and Sophie did, and at the time many considered their list quite vulgar because they were asking for some pretty expensive things.For instance, they wanted a silver tea service at £33,000, an Asprey & Garrad teapot for £8,800 or 24 crystal glasses at £1,000 or a 26- piece china coffee and tea service. IIRC, the cheapest thing on the list was a £ 500 tea thingy (you know, the thing you put loose tea in and place in your cup).

It was quite a contrast to Phillipe and Mathilde who married only a few months later & who asked for donations to be made to a charity they had set-up in lieu of gifts.

These days, at least in my social circle, it is considered tacky to ask for gifts or to even register for them. That people take the time to come to your wedding and be a part of your special day is considered enough, & invitations stipulate "no gifts". Some people will present the couple with a card with a cheque in it, as this is deemed more useful to a newly married couple.

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 11:19 AM

Yes, they do register, but not all together in the same respect as us normal ladies would.

Really? In America, we still register for gifts at stores and brides traditionally receive the majority of them at their wedding showers. We do not think it is considered tacky. This tradition for women has been going on for many, many, years and is quite useful to the new bride and groom.

While we WOULD NEVER outright ask anyone for gifts or money, there is nothing wrong from an etiquette standpoint of letting your invitees to your shower know where you are registered.

All etiquette books I have read mention nothing about it being tacky, at least in the United States, but then we do lead the way.

susan alicia 09-13-2005 11:30 AM

:) :) :) :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Marmalade
All etiquette books I have read mention nothing about it being tacky, at least in the United States, but then we do lead the way.


Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 11:40 AM

I am engaged and believe me....leading my my future husband through the stores registering was not the most enjoyable task.. :)

That is why all brides lead the way...

ElisaR 09-13-2005 12:00 PM

In Italy registering for gifts is becoming more and more popular and it's quite a recent tradition: when my parents got married 27 years ago it didn't exist yet.

Sean.~ 09-13-2005 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Marmalade
Yes, they do register, but not all together in the same respect as us normal ladies would.

Really? In America, we still register for gifts at stores and brides traditionally receive the majority of them at their wedding showers. We do not think it is considered tacky. This tradition for women has been going on for many, many, years and is quite useful to the new bride and groom.

While we WOULD NEVER outright ask anyone for gifts or money, there is nothing wrong from an etiquette standpoint of letting your invitees to your shower know where you are registered.

All etiquette books I have read mention nothing about it being tacky, at least in the United States, but then we do lead the way.

As I said, at least in my social circle it has become passse, and this year alone I've attended at least 30 weddings of friends and acquitences! All were adamant that there be no gifts. Ones presence was deemed enough.

These days many are marrying at a later age & many are already are well established & thus have no want or desire for more things, IME. Besides a lot of people don't follow the registry (which often contain outrageously expensive items) and end-up buying junk. Better to receive nothing than something you really don't want, as it is so wasteful.

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean.~
As I said, at least in my social circle it has become passse, and this year alone I've attended at least 30 weddings of friends and acquitences! All were adamant that there be no gifts. Ones presence was deemed enough.

These days many are marrying at a later age & many are already are well established & thus have no want or desire for more things, IME. Besides a lot of people don't follow the registry (which often contain outrageously expensive items) and end-up buying junk. Better to receive nothing than something you really don't want, as it is so wasteful.

Passé.....interesting word to use...I also have attended weddings, society and otherwise and it is still the height of chic to bring gifts out of the goodness of one's heart, tastefully chosen, wrapped and presented.



A matter of cultural differences in different countries, I suppose. In the United States, a first marriage, no matter what age, is usually precipitated by a shower with gifts from registries and is deemed okay to do by etiquette books from the likes of Miss Manners, Emily Post, and Amy Vanderbilt.



If the wedding is a second or third, I think it is not proper to be expected to have a shower, receive gifts from registries, or even, heaven forbid, request a monetary contribution. That is usually the case for marrying later. Here, men and women still get married at the late twenties to early thirties stage in life.

paloma 09-13-2005 12:19 PM

Different people, different tastes.
Most people that I know are marrying later in life and therefore are already established and have no need for things. Most of the weddings that I attend where older people are marrying, there is a request for no gifts. They would prefer a charitable donation. If the couple is still young(right out of college or university) then a registry exists.
As I myself am in my midthirties, I will request no gifts should I marry. I would prefer a charitable donation.

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 12:28 PM

Different tastes for all. As long as the bride and groom are happy and in love, that is what counts the most.

Ditebaby 09-13-2005 12:33 PM

I had feeling royal couples didn't follow that american tradition anymore. Which is probably because america doesn't have royals. But that was interesting to see what they did register for when they did. Thanks for all your input everyone.:)

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 12:37 PM

You are welcome. :)

Lisele 09-13-2005 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Marmalade
Passé.....interesting word to use...I also have attended weddings, society and otherwise and it is still the height of chic to bring gifts out of the goodness of one's heart, tastefully chosen, wrapped and presented.



A matter of cultural differences in different countries, I suppose. In the United States, a first marriage, no matter what age, is usually precipitated by a shower with gifts from registries and is deemed okay to do by etiquette books from the likes of Miss Manners, Emily Post, and Amy Vanderbilt.



If the wedding is a second or third, I think it is not proper to be expected to have a shower, receive gifts from registries, or even, heaven forbid, request a monetary contribution. That is usually the case for marrying later. Here, men and women still get married at the late twenties to early thirties stage in life.

According to Emily Post (not sure about Amy Vanderbilt or Miss Manners) 2nd or 3rd marriages can register and expect presents and showers. My husband and I are in the mid to late thirties complete with established careers. When we got married - his first, my second, we didn't think we would need to register because we had everything already. I had my own house, appliances, china, crystal, silver, etc., my husband had his own condominium, appliances, china and crystal and silver (yes ladies - it shocked me too but his mom decided he had to have these things) and everything he needed so when we got married, we had practically 2 of everything. I didn't bother having showers or a shower and told most of our friends and family that we would prefer no gifts (we didn't need any) that just their presence would be great. That's the other thing, since most of our families were coming in from out of town and out of country (all told only 6 people locally), we didn't want them to be spending more money than they were already going to be spending.

I got rid of the house since the condo is smaller and I like the location better :) We didn't want to register since we had literally everything. But we still ended up registering (at my mother-in-law's insistence - we had 3 - high end items, mid and low end items in 3 different stores) and a lot of people used that for a guideline instead of buying from the registry itself. Actually, I made sure that substitutions were allowed so people knew that they didn't have to stick with what I had on there. From the registries combined, we got 5 items and 2 substitutions, the rest cash since most of our friends and relatives knew we had everything we needed already.

I don't think everything is as rigid today as it was say... 20 years ago or more. For weddings I always bring a gift and having a registry just gives me an opportunity to use it as a guideline if the items there are too expensive. And don't be shocked - I checked before I registered because I wanted flexibility - being registered in more than one place is very acceptable today :)

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 01:16 PM

Hi Lisele,

And I am sure your had a very elegant affair. How kind and warmhearted of your family, his family, and your friends.

You handled it in a very tasteful manner. I wish you both congratulations and all the best on a long and healthy marriage.

Mine is in October, so I know what you went through. :)

norwegianne 09-13-2005 02:13 PM

I attended the wedding of one of my friends earlier this summer, and he and his new wife had registered in some stores, but both of them just moved out from home so they needed pretty much everything. I think that registering works, if you have a wide selection of prices, so that people can decide how much they want to spend, and if it doesn't feel like you have to choose something from the lists. I know my parents got 8 iron pans, and 12 large glass bowls for their wedding, most of which was exchanged... it must surely feel better to get something that the bride and groom will keep, rather than exchange?

But to get back to the royals, (as is the intended topic) I know that Mette-Marit and Haakon had a "wish list" for their wedding, where the foremost thing they wanted was a gift to the special charity they were founding, but they also mentioned that they needed some china and silverware for Skaugum, which they got. I don't know if they registered anywhere, though.

Around Märtha Louise and Ari's wedding, if you wanted to give a gift, you could call the palace and they would supply you with a list of the items the couple desired, as they were making a new home together. (Of course, later the list was deemed snobbish because some of the items on it were rather expensive, so they went back on it, and said that they'd be happy if people made a contribution to the charity foundation that was founded in Märtha Louise's name when she was young.)

Sean.~ 09-13-2005 04:53 PM

Quote:

=Lady Marmalade]Passé.....interesting word to use...I also have attended weddings, society and otherwise and it is still the height of chic to bring gifts out of the goodness of one's heart, tastefully chosen, wrapped and presented.
Why, do you have a problem with it? I couldn't think of a better word, and thought that it summed-up what I was trying to convey adequately. In any case, I guess it depends on social and cultural norms as well other factors, such as a couples financial position.

Quote:

A matter of cultural differences in different countries, I suppose. In the United States, a first marriage, no matter what age, is usually precipitated by a shower with gifts from registries and is deemed okay to do by etiquette books from the likes of Miss Manners, Emily Post, and Amy Vanderbilt.



Well, in Canada we are more multicultural, and each culture has its own social norms. In some cases it is considered bad manners to bring a gift. I haven't been to any showers, but wedding gifts at actual weddings amongst my peers (of whatever cultural background) is rare. A person taking the time to attend means more than a gift. Different values, I guess.


Also, to a certain extent it has to do with economics as well. That is, people are well off enough to buy their own things according to their own tastes. Most people I know find registries tacky and a bit low-brow. The view is that if one wants something then one should get it for themselves & not assume that others have either the means or desire to get it for them. After all, you're inviting people because you want them to be a part of your big day, and (hopefully) not because you want them to furnish your house according to your tastes. (Thus I find some royal "wish lists" as extremely vulgar -- particularly Edward and Sophie's).


Quote:

If the wedding is a second or third, I think it is not proper to be expected to have a shower, receive gifts from registries, or even, heaven forbid, request a monetary contribution. That is usually the case for marrying later. Here, men and women still get married at the late twenties to early thirties stage in life .
It is the same here, but that is considered late compared to a generation earlier. Most are already working and established by their thirties & independent enough to buy their own things. Indeed, most would prefer it than getting something that they don't like or having people not attend because registry items are above and beyond what people are willing or able to pay.

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 05:29 PM

Oh no, not at all...its one of my grandmother's most used words and when I read it, I thought about her and how often she uses it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean.~
Why, do you have a problem with it? I couldn't think of a better word, and thought that it summed-up what I was trying to convey adequately. In any case, I guess it depends on social and cultural norms as well other factors, such as a couples financial position.




Well, in Canada we are more multicultural, and each culture has its own social norms. In some cases it is considered bad manners to bring a gift. I haven't been to any showers, but wedding gifts at actual weddings amongst my peers (of whatever cultural background) is rare. A person taking the time to attend means more than a gift. Different values, I guess.

I have been to more showers and seen some of the most well meaning, but useless, gifts. We are multicultural as well in the United States, hence the term melting pot and salad bowl. :)

However, women here of all geographic areas still register for their gifts and even the finest and most exclusive stores we here are known for worldwide.

What makes it easier here, is that even discount stores have registries, which allows ladies of a certain socioeconomic status to be able to receive useful and beautiful gifts as well.


Also, to a certain extent it has to do with economics as well. That is, people are well off enough to buy their own things according to their own tastes. Most people I know find registries tacky and a bit low-brow. The view is that if one wants something then one should get it for themselves & not assume that others have either the means or desire to get it for them. After all, you're inviting people because you want them to be a part of your big day, and (hopefully) not because you want them to furnish your house according to your tastes. (Thus I find some royal "wish lists" as extremely vulgar -- particularly Edward and Sophie's).

I agree about the royal "wish lists". I see no reason for those whatsoever.

[color=black][font=Times New Roman][font=Comic Sans MS][size=2]

It is the same here, but that is considered late compared to a generation earlier. Most are already working and established by their thirties & independent enough to buy their own things. Indeed, most would prefer it than getting something that they don't like or having people not attend because registry items are above and beyond what people are willing or able to pay.


Sean.~ 09-13-2005 07:03 PM

Quote:

I have been to more showers and seen some of the most well meaning, but useless, gifts. We are multicultural as well in the United States, hence the term melting pot and salad bowl.



Sorry, I know that this is off-topic, but I just want to clarify that, yes, I know the States is multicultural insofar as people from different cultural backgrounds have settled there. I wasn't trying to imply otherwise. Sorry if it came across that way.


However, by Canada being "more" multicultural, I was referring to our official policy of multiculturalism, which is supported by the state via programs and funding. People aren't expected to 'melt in a pot' here and become one. Rather, people are encouraged to maintain their different cultural identities and norms along with their Canadian identities (makes life more interesting). Thus many don't follow Western norms on gift giving etc.

Lady Marmalade 09-13-2005 09:47 PM

Oh...understandable, thank you for clarifying. :)

sara1981 09-14-2005 12:27 AM

what about Prince Charles and late Princess Diana's first marriages have register for wedding? and Prince Charles and Camilla-Parker Bowles have register for wedding have donation? or not?

but i understand about Earl and Countess of Wessex's wedding expensives wedding gifts from stores or whatevers what Earl and Countess of Wessex needs for their wedding gifts! but i respect Sophie


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