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-   -   Sarah, Duchess of York Current Events 17: June 2011-December 2013 (http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/f166/sarah-duchess-of-york-current-events-17-june-2011-december-2013-a-31225.html)

angieuk 06-05-2011 04:17 PM

Sarah Ferguson reveals on television the abuse inflicted by her mother | Mail Online

Sarah ... sometimes the best thing to say is NOTHING!

charlottestreasures 06-05-2011 05:06 PM

Why does the public have to be in on these "therapy sessions", which
should be private?

kakieanne 06-05-2011 05:12 PM

Good or bad, they were her parents. Now that they are both deceased and can't defend themselves...there's something very wrong about slandering them publicly and trying to blame them. Sarah's 51 years old and responsible for her own actions.

NotAPretender 06-05-2011 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlottestreasures (Post 1262523)
I always thought Sarah got a rough deal in the marriage to Andrew.
She was not allowed to be a navy wife and follow him and was
left alone to immediately carry on appointments, etc. And then the poor
divorce settlement.

Both her and Andrew are to blame for how things turned out.

BUT WHY OH WHY CAN SHE NOT JUST STOP GIVING INTERVIEWS AND
JUST GET ON WITH A LIFE OF HER OWN.

She has worn us out and used up all our sympathy.

Actually, there is an excellent thread here discussing Sarah's divorce settlement. It was pretty darned generous.

But I certainly agree.

FergieFan 06-06-2011 07:21 AM

Surely she deserves a little more compassion here. I found that quote about her mother shocking and heartbreaking.

Also, whilst I understand people saying that they don’t want to read about her problems, this has to be taken within the context of the show. Obviously the newspapers who have seen previews of Finding Sarah are looking for the “juiciest” bits – it’s not as if she said this in a newspaper interview.

Some people may find the notion of “public therapy” disagreeable, but there may well be a sense in which this could be genuinely beneficial and cathartic to her – to get all this out in the open. The negatives in Sarah’s life (scandals, debts, etc.) have been played out in the public arena, and many people have judged her very harshly about certain aspects of her life. So perhaps it’s appropriate that the difficult issues that she has had to contend with are made public as well, so that people have a more rounded notion of who she is, and perhaps see her failings in a kinder light.

The final point I’d make is that the show is surely aimed primarily at those who feel positively towards Sarah. I believe that the viewing public will be empathetic towards her and admire her honesty and openness. Once the papers pick it up, it goes to a wider audience, which is inevitable (and of course gives publicity to the show), but I think the context of when and where this was said is all-important.

NotAPretender 06-06-2011 08:41 AM

FergieFan - blaming a dead parent for something that may or may not be true (and who is to say that it is true? Susan Barrantes is long dead) is in poor taste no matter what her "reasons." And since Sarah is clearly being paid for undergoing this "therapy" as well as it being a launching pad for her new book, then in essence Sarah is selling out the (revised) memory of her for thirty pieces of silver.

Sarah always went on and on about how great her mother was and how she stuck by her in her lowest points, blah blah. Now she turns around again and comes up with this canard.

Sarah alone seems to believe that she has no time limit on growing up and accepting responsibility for herself, and no limits at all on who she will blame for what went wrong in her own life, as long as she doesn't have to put the blame on herself.

I'm shocked at the part where she, in essence, says that her daughters raised her. After she's gotten done trashing her mother, she decides to remain a child and let her children take over. How much is wrong with that? I think sort of everything.

I'm glad the Queen is yet alive, and Prince Philip, because God alone knows what Sarah is going to say in order to feast off their corpses when the time comes. Sarah praises the Queen highly, just as she has traditionally praised her mother. And this is what comes of it.

Because make no mistake, Sarah will do this again. In a year, when whatever money she's brought in from this venture is long gone, she will cast about for someone/something else that victimized her, using psychobabble buzz to frame it, and trumpet her victimization all over again. Who will be next for her to blame? I have a pretty good idea what will be next on her "hit" parade, now that she's trotted out the "child abuse" accusations.

I sincerely wonder if the Queen has considered striking a deal with Oprah to buy the series and have it vanish. Then again, if I were the Queen, I'd let Sarah keep on with her whirl-a-gig of fantastical outbursts. It would be in my interest, if most definitely not in hers.

expat 06-06-2011 08:52 AM

I think that Sarah likes to embroider the past, there are some people who just can't take the blame for anything, it has to be someone's, anyone's fault but never ever theirs. As to her children acting as mother's to her, I think that is just sick.
I only hope that the Queen outlives even her own mother and that the two Princesses will take their grandmother as their model and not their mother. Love her, fine, but as someone to emulate, no way.

sliver_bic 06-06-2011 08:54 AM

It all comes back to age and experience. If Sarah was in her thirties and coming off her first scandal I'd understand but this is just pathetic. Elton John and a few others are the same, "Oh look you're dead time to jam the knife in instead of just getting over it."

If you couldn't make peace in life, thems the breaks. It sounds harsh but are we really suppose to baby a women in her fifties whose M.O. involves learning nothing from the past?

This is a confession of convenience. Can't just blame yourself cause that's boring and overused. Can't blame your daughters as they've done nothing wrong on top of suffering abuse because of you and you're not blaming your sugar daddy er I mean ex husband so go after your parents, they're not their to defend themselves and family squabbles make for good TV.

It wouldn't surprise me if Oprah encouraged this but it still comes down to Fergie being too weak to say no because someone is offering her an opportunity.

Dymphna 06-06-2011 10:07 AM

I agree that the saddest and most dysfunctional thing about Sarah is that she is publicly leaning on her daughters, and, as NotaPretender says, she is letting them raise her. This is going to emotionally cripple them and seems to have prevented PA from moving on and finding someone to spend his life with.

The idea that she would publicly turn on the Queen and Prince Philip is horrifying.

Mirabel 06-06-2011 10:12 AM

Next we'll probably hear about how her ambitious father pushed her into a marriage she wasn't prepared for; never mind that she was in her mid-twenties at the time!

RubyPrincess168 06-06-2011 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess of Durham (Post 1262757)

Quote:

Originally Posted by FergieFan (Post 1262985)
Surely she deserves a little more compassion here. I found that quote about her mother shocking and heartbreaking.


While it is heartbreaking (if indeed it was true, which we don't know for sure), I am really getting tired of her 'Poor Me' routine. As some point, you just gotta buck up, stop making excuses and start making better choices. Sadly, all she is learning is that people will pay her for these kinds of stories, until someone steps forward and calls 'bulls**t' on her. And she'll continue being an embarassment to her family and the Royal Family until then.

Moonmaiden23 06-06-2011 01:24 PM

A couple of days before their wedding Andrew and Sarah sat for an interview. Sarah was wearing a white print dress and looked lovely.

She was asked if her fiery red hair meant she had a temper...and she came back with "no...Mum BEAT IT OUT OF me when I was small!"

She and Andrew were laughing, but I will never forget how uneasy it made me for some reason.:ermm:

Mrs Barrantes apparently became a loving supportive parent when it was too late and when the damage was already done...after she had spent years allegedly telling her youngest daughter how ugly she was, and after having walked out to abscond to Argentina with her lover when the girl was barely 13 years old.

Based on other similar revealing statements(years ago) Sarah has made about Susan Ferguson Barrantes as a mother I have no problems believing her to be an abusive, even cruel parent. BUT....Sarah should not be telling these things to a global TV audience. It smacks of manipulation and a yet another crass attempt to cash in on private pain.

For her own dignity and out of respect for her children's feelings, this private anguish should be worked out and dealt with in private with a spiritual advisor and psychiatrist...no amount of money she is being paid is worth the loss of dignity and scorn this is inviting.

The mass media is no place to have a mental and emotional collapse.

It's sad that after all these years, she still has no concept of what boundaries are!:bang:

Irish Eyes 06-06-2011 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23 (Post 1263132)
A couple of days before their wedding Andrew and Sarah sat for an interview. Sarah was wearing a white print dress and looked lovely.

She was asked if her fiery red hair meant she had a temper...and she came back with "no...Mum BEAT IT OUT OF me when I was small!"

She and Andrew were laughing, but I will never forget how uneasy it made me for some reason.:ermm:

Mrs Barrantes apparently became a loving supportive parent when it was too late and when the damage was already done...after she had spent years allegedly telling her youngest daughter how ugly she was, and after having walked out to abscond to Argentina with her lover when the girl was barely 13 years old.

Based on other similar revealing statements(years ago) Sarah has made about Susan Ferguson Barrantes as a mother I have no problems believing her to be an abusive, even cruel parent. BUT....Sarah should not be telling these things to a global TV audience. It smacks of manipulation and a yet another crass attempt to cash in on private pain.

For her own dignity and out of respect for her children's feelings, this private anguish should be worked out and dealt with in private with a spiritual advisor and psychiatrist...no amount of money she is being paid is worth the loss of dignity and scorn this is inviting.

The mass media is no place to have a mental and emotional collapse.

It's sad that after all these years, she still has no concept of what boundaries are!:bang:

I'm thinking very much along the same lines Moonmaiden, and you expressed it better than I would have.

Characteristics of Histrionic Personality Disorder - Associated Content from Yahoo! - associatedcontent.com

Interestingly there has been a major report on child abuse just been released here in Ireland which was discussed on a radio talk show this morning. There were discussing the affects of emotional abuse and somehow Sarah's interview got mentioned. A phychiatrist said she showed classic symptions of histrionic personality disorder.
Reading the above does anyone think Sarah ticks a few boxes?

HRH Princess Sonya 06-06-2011 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RubyPrincess168 (Post 1263082)
While it is heartbreaking (if indeed it was true, which we don't know for sure), I am really getting tired of her 'Poor Me' routine. As some point, you just gotta buck up, stop making excuses and start making better choices. Sadly, all she is learning is that people will pay her for these kinds of stories, until someone steps forward and calls 'bulls**t' on her. And she'll continue being an embarassment to her family and the Royal Family until then.


Ruby You Go Girl!!. Very well said. The bottom line is there are lots people who have endured all types of childhood pain or abuse. They are able to put that pain in it's is place and not use it as an excuse for bad adult behavior and walk around with an " It Ain't My Fault" frame of mind. The more she talks the worse she looks. You are right at some point someone needs to put a stop to it.

Moonmaiden23 06-06-2011 02:38 PM

HRH Princess Sonya you are quite right...I am a survivor of childhood trauma so I agree with you BUT...I did not marry into one of the most public and famous and dysfunctional of families in my mid-twenties, before I'd had time to work through and come to a place of peace with my past.

None of us dealt with a merciless Press in the first two years of marriage calling you fat, unattractive, lazy and a bad mother...basically reinforcing what her worst fears probably already were.

And she dealt with it without her husband or anyone to support and encourage her.

Sarah did. It doesn't excuse her bad behavior, but for me it explains it somewhat.

Irish Eyes 06-06-2011 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HRH Princess Sonya (Post 1263160)
Ruby You Go Girl!!. Very well said. The bottom line is there are lots people who have endured all types of childhood pain or abuse. They are able to put that pain in it's is place and not use it as an excuse for bad adult behavior and walk around with an " It Ain't My Fault" frame of mind. The more she talks the worse she looks. You are right at some point someone needs to put a stop to it.

I don't mind her nearest and dearest supporting her privately or even publicly to a point. If Andrew wants to join a family holiday or enjoy a meal out together that's their choice, but for everyone concerned what she really needs to do is get professional help PRIVATELY.
I think the only people who could convince her to do that is her family, and I sincerely hope they try. If she is prepared get that help then I think she is deserving of their support.

Moonmaiden23 06-06-2011 03:08 PM

Exactly IrishEyes.

Do I understand the source and reason for Sarah's anguish? Yes, I do.

Do I agree with the way she is choosing to address her issues? NO. NO. NO.

I think she is being manipulative and self-indulgent...and she is hurting her cause more than she is helping by far!

Kataryn 06-06-2011 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23 (Post 1263163)
HRH Princess Sonya you are quite right...I am a survivor of childhood trauma so I agree with you BUT...I did not marry into one of the most public and famous and dysfunctional of families in my mid-twenties, before I'd had time to work through and come to a place of peace with my past.

None of us dealt with a merciless Press in the first two years of marriage calling you fat, unattractive, lazy and a bad mother...basically reinforcing what her worst fears probably already were.

And she dealt with it without her husband or anyone to support and encourage her.

Sarah did. It doesn't excuse her bad behavior, but for me it explains it somewhat.

Why can't she check into a clinic and allow professionals to help her really deal with her issues? If not for her own sake but for the sake of her daughters? How terrible is that to have to read in the papers about their grandmother and to have to meet people who know now absolute anything about the "dysfunctional" family those two girls on the verge of real adulthood come from. IMHO even the HRH-rank is no proper exchange for that kind of being pushed into the tabloid-world.

Somehow I guess the Rf knew the contents of Finding Sarah before any media outlet apart from Oprah's and decided to take the girls out of the line by declaring they are not going to become "working Royals" - Maybe that helps wehn you try to save their privacy, I don't know about the Britsih laws but could imagine that such a declaration of intent (including the end of police security) could help them receive more rights to protect their lives as private citizens.

Russophile 06-06-2011 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NotAPretender (Post 1263005)
FergieFan - blaming a dead parent for something that may or may not be true (and who is to say that it is true? Susan Barrantes is long dead) is in poor taste no matter what her "reasons." And since Sarah is clearly being paid for undergoing this "therapy" as well as it being a launching pad for her new book, then in essence Sarah is selling out the (revised) memory of her for thirty pieces of silver.

This is true and I heartily agree. I have found you can blame your parents for your misfortunate upbringing until you are 18. Then every choice you make in life is on your own shoulders. Seems Sarah still hasn't learned that lesson. Pity.

NotAPretender 06-06-2011 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kataryn (Post 1263184)
Why can't she check into a clinic and allow professionals to help her really deal with her issues? If not for her own sake but for the sake of her daughters? How terrible is that to have to read in the papers about their grandmother and to have to meet people who know now absolute anything about the "dysfunctional" family those two girls on the verge of real adulthood come from. IMHO even the HRH-rank is no proper exchange for that kind of being pushed into the tabloid-world.

Somehow I guess the RF knew the contents of Finding Sarah before any media outlet apart from Oprah's and decided to take the girls out of the line by declaring they are not going to become "working Royals." Maybe that helps when you try to save their privacy, I don't know about the Britsih laws but could imagine that such a declaration of intent (including the end of police security) could help them receive more rights to protect their lives as private citizens.

I totally agree. But how incredibly hard it will be for them to have any kind of private life, if their mother is running about making such a spectacle of her private matters - truth or fantasy.

ETA. I remember the ending of the movie "Fargo." The sheriff has arrested the miscreant. Looking at him in the rear view mirror as he is cuffed in the back seat, she barely contains her rage. "All this. For a little bit of money. A. Little. Bit. Of. Money."

Sarah's getting a little bit of money and a little bit of psychobabble "help." In return, all she had to do was sell out - no, pimp out - her mother. "Thirty pieces of silver."

Last year, she pimped out Andrew, no matter what her remarkably flexible memory is telling her now. For A. Little. Bit. Of. Money. Thirty pieces of silver.


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