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BeatrixFan 07-12-2006 07:24 PM

The Royal Family and the Media, Cartoons and Caricatures
 
WALLIS WAS MADE QUEEN

http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/5708/wallis9ee.png

From The Sun, 13/07/06

The Sun can exclusively reveal that the late Duchess of Windsor was made Queen in 1936 in a secret ceremony at Kensington Castle. Surrounded by FREEMASONS and NAZI friends, the Duchess was crowned by King Edward VIII or "Dirty David" as he was known to his close family. The Duchess became Queen Wallis on the 30th February 1936 and demanded that she be called "Her Royal Majesterialness". Queen Wallis had 76 Ladies in Waiting which cost the tax payer approximately 900,000 each, each year. One of these Ladies in Waiting was the mother of Lord LUCAN who as Sun readers will already know, was the killer of Diana, Princess of Wales. For some time there have been claims that Wallis and Edward VIII had an illegitimate child. This is true, they had illegitmate twins, one of whom was Elvis Presley and the other was Camilla Shand, born CAMILLA Parker-Bowles, who went on to marry The Prince of Charles last year.

QUEEN WALLIS did carry out various ceremonial events including opening the Parliament of Umbongo Land (which was a British colony until Margaret Thatcher lost it for us) and shooting J.R. Later in life, Wallis collected corgis and became lovers with Adolf Hitler who, as Sun readers will already know, was the killer of Diana, Princess of Wales. Wallis, who also used the title Duchess of Treacle Bumpstead, later resided in France where she paid money to the CHIRAC government to bribe the European Union, which as Sun readers will already know, is the organisation responsible for the killing of Diana, Princess of Wales. She later printed passports for KOSOVANS and Bosnians who leech off of society and don't read The Sun. Royal watchers are aware that Wallis sold her soul to the Devil who, as Sun readers will already know, currently manifests himself as Princess MICHAEL of KENT.

MORE on the shocking Royal revelation tomorrow when Paul Burrell will give his account;

Wallis confided in me. She said, "Paul - you are my rock. She told me her deepest darkest secrets. And that's why I'm selling them to The Sun"

James Whittaker will give his insider information;

I have inside information because I do and because I know people and they tell me the inside information and then I tell people and I do. So there.

And FERGIE, Duchess of York and Manager of Manchester United Football Club will tell us just why Wayne Rooney and Queen Wallis hired MI5 to assassinate John F Kennedy.

BeatrixFan 07-12-2006 07:25 PM

I should explain. I was very bored, found that pic at the GREMB (originally from Royalty Magazine) and decided to have a dig at The Sun and to illustrate the point that out of all the British media, The Sun is the least reliable. No offence meant to anyone - just the ramblings of a very bored Englishman.

Bella 07-12-2006 10:05 PM

I thought it was hysterical, BeatrixFan. Thanks for a laugh!

Elspeth 07-12-2006 10:12 PM

Nonono - it was Cookie who collected corgis. Queen Wally collected pugs. Everybody knows that. Really, doesn't that bloody paper have any standards?

HRH Kerry 07-12-2006 10:34 PM

Have you guys ever been in the line and the grocery store and happen to glance and the black and white newspaper called "The News"? You know its the same paper with any number of aliens on the cover? The very same ones that have them living here on earth among us! I vividly remember seeing a very, very, very old Adam and Eve on surfboards on one of their front pages with the caption: "Adam and Eve Spotted in Hawaii on Vacation". Should we add Queen Wallis to this outrageous list, too?!:D

Elspeth 07-12-2006 10:41 PM

Maybe Beatrixfan is a writer for National Enquirer in his spare time.:D

Iluvbertie 07-13-2006 12:02 AM

When I first saw this headline I thought - here's fun - someone is going to be shot down in flames very quickly but then I read the article and couldn't stop laughing.


Very well done Beatrix.

Jo of Palatine 07-13-2006 12:38 AM

I especially liked the slight imitation of the style of one Joanne Leyland... LOL! Thank you Beatrixfan!

auroraDaniel 07-13-2006 12:51 AM

he..he. i particularly like the way the author inserted outrageous people and events in the article.......it made my day...

Teresa 07-13-2006 03:55 AM

Very funny and imaginitive BeatrixFan :D

lise 07-13-2006 04:05 AM

That was hilarous :D Thank you for posting.

Maxie 07-13-2006 04:23 AM

You should consider a writing career, BeatrixFan! That was hilarious! :D

sm1939 07-13-2006 04:24 AM

wonder how royal life would of turned out if she had been made Queen of England , could wallis have children???

HRH Kerry 07-13-2006 07:45 AM

sm1939,
I was wondering the same thing. How different British history would be! I did read something some years back about the Duchess not being able to have children. That's truly sad if they did indeed want them.:(

HRH Kerry 07-13-2006 08:34 AM

The book was Philip and Elizabeth. It pretty much stated that because the Duke and Duchess of Windsor couldn't have children, Elizabeth would've still been queen. So that would've made her heir-presumptive, right?

BeatrixFan 07-13-2006 10:19 AM

Glad you all liked the story. The frightening thing is that several people PMed me asking if it was a real story from The Sun!!

Avalon 07-13-2006 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeatrixFan
Glad you all liked the story. The frightening thing is that several people PMed me asking if it was a real story from The Sun!!

Liked it? It was hillarious! I loved it! :D :D :D
You should have really seen me, my eyebrows were in danger to dissappear under my hair, so high they were.
I did get it was a made up one (well, not a big deal, given what you have written;) :D ) but for a moment I also wondered whether Sun had actually written that! :D I mean it would be too far-fetched even for Sun! :D :p
Btw, do consider a writer's job, you've got a talent!!!!:rolleyes:

BeatrixFan 07-13-2006 10:51 AM

lol - thankyou very much Avalon. I have to admit, the writing came as an excuse to post the picture. I remember hearing Joan Rivers talking about the National Enquirer and she said about Alien landings etc. She said, "I am in the National Enquirer, I'm having an affair with Franklin D Roosevelt". So The Sun and The Enquirer don't seem that different!

HRH Kerry 07-13-2006 11:58 AM

BeatrixFan,
The National Enquirer is definitely trash! Just goes to show how far and free "freedom of the press" goes. And it actually sells!

Anyway back to Wallis...I think we all loved the hilarity of it. I always enjoy your post.:D ;)

Lady Marmalade 07-13-2006 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kerry
The book was Philip and Elizabeth. It pretty much stated that because the Duke and Duchess of Windsor couldn't have children, Elizabeth would've still been queen. So that would've made her heir-presumptive, right?

Actually...no, which was good. When Edward VIII abdicated, her renounced not only his rights to the throne, but also the rights of any descendants he may have had. So, even if he had children with Wallis, they would have no place in line to the throne...whether they were married or not as the other side is a child must be born in wedlock to stand in line. Case in point are some of the Lascelles (through Princess Mary) grandchildren and nephew of the present Earl who wore not born in wedlock and are not in line to the throne.


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