JRF marriage customs

[iowabelle]

Let me begin by saying I don't know much about Islamic customs and I don't mean to offend any of you.

But what prevents a husband from forcing the first wife to agree?

And what if a first wife agrees because she loves her husband (or thinks it's her duty to agree) but the first wife is pained or angered by her husband's decision? (I think it's pretty obvious that any negative reaction by the first wife will be copied by her children.)

I just don't know how this works.

[Roshanah]

I can only speak for myself and say that you haven't caused offence.:)

Islam states that If a Husband has in any way forced his wife into agreeing to him taking an addition Wife, Islam immediately would deem the 2nd marriage illegal. Also Islam also would give the 1st wife the right to divorce him, for that reason alone.

The moment that she gives her concent (even if she thinks it's her duty) she cannot reneg. Hence Islam states that she is to consider very carefully, before she gives her answer. Moreover, when marrying her husband If she feels that she wouldn't be able to handle him taking an additional wife, she can make a condition within the Nikah contract (before signing it.) He has to agree to it if he wished to marry her. If after that he still wishes to persue the matter, she can divorce him upon the grounds of breach of Nikah contract.:) I hope that answers your question:)

Originally Posted by iowabelle

Let me begin by saying I don't know much about Islamic customs and I don't mean to offend any of you.

But what prevents a husband from forcing the first wife to agree?

And what if a first wife agrees because she loves her husband (or thinks it's her duty to agree) but the first wife is pained or angered by her husband's decision? (I think it's pretty obvious that any negative reaction by the first wife will be copied by her children.)

I just don't know how this works.

[iowabelle]

Thank you for your explanation, Roshanah.

I don't know where you live, but I know that here in the U.S. and other western countries, sometimes wives agree (or tolerate) their husbands' behavior because they don't have another choice. Mostly, it's because the husbands control the money or the family assets, or threaten to take the children away. (Most men aren't like that, but there are some bad ones.)

Agreement under those circumstances would probably result in a very bad home life.

I hope that this family has come to a more civil solution to this problem.

[Roshanah]

Originally Posted by iowabelle

Thank you for your explanation, Roshanah.

I don't know where you live, but I know that here in the U.S. and other western countries, sometimes wives agree (or tolerate) their husbands' behavior because they don't have another choice. Mostly, it's because the husbands control the money or the family assets, or threaten to take the children away. (Most men aren't like that, but there are some bad ones.)

Agreement under those circumstances would probably result in a very bad home life.

I hope that this family has come to a more civil solution to this problem.

You're welcome. It's the same in many countries where certain Islamic males have been ill-educated, with regards to his right and behaviour within Islam. If the aforementioned men have done such, then they cannot call themselves Muslim males. As you know a true Muslim Male would never infringe, upon anyones rights, including a Muslim females.

You are right, at times it has resulted in the aforesaid or created a situation of complicity in silence.

If such a male were to do so, it say's in the Qur'an and in the Hadeeth he shall suffer for it in the hereafter.

I myself hope that the situation can be resolved amicably. This would also include certain members of Dubai, choosing not to criticise nor be racist.

No offence meant by my comments.:)