I'm not sure that Sasha and Minnie didn't lean more to absolute rule due to the brutal assassination of Alexander II, rather than hiding the fact until after the assassination. Wasn't it the tutor, Pobedonostev, who actually found and destroyed the document Alexander II had signed the day of his death offering consultative assembly, and replaced it with something else? Since he was Sasha's former tutor perhaps he had been, or was able to after AII's death, "educating" Sasha on the dangers of Democracy.
Well Cat, I think that this wasn't the first assassination attempt on Alexander IIs life, there was considerable unrest and upheaval in Russia long before his assassination. But the main reason I think that Sasha just didn't have a change of heart upon his father's assassination was that he was already a grown man in his mid-thirties with pre-teenage children and at that age one's personality and outlook on life is rather set and not easy to change so drastically. He certainly proved not easy to change after the assassination whereas if he had been at heart of a more democratic nature yet overreacted to that one event, I would have expected him to moderate some of his harsher tendencies in the later part of his reign and let his true democratic tendencies come out which he didn't. It does seem where his true tendencies were absolutist rather than democratic but it seems also clear that he was successful at making an appearance for whatever was accepted in the society he was with. A Danish tutor noted the difference in Sasha's behavior in Denmark where he was just the son-in-law and his behavior in Russia where he was the Tsar. The tutor noted that Sasha in Denmark acted merely as the beloved son-in-law and didn't have airs - he was down to earth, familair, not haughty, rather pleasant and not standing on ceremony and took part in the fun and games that were loved by the Danish royals. However the Tsar in Russia was definitely overbearing, aloof, and a bit autocratic and got touchy when the proper respect wasn't shown to him. This led me to believe that Sasha excelled at being able to make an appearance that was pleasing to the society he was with without it changing his true nature underneath. Willy, like his parents, couldn't do that.
I'm not sure I agree that Vicky and Fritz would have been better off to hide their more liberal tendencies until the old Kaiser died. Since Fritz was Kaiser for all of 96 days (IIRC) it wouldn't have mattered much either way. And with Willy enamored with Bismark and his autocratic grandfather I'm not sure it would have made any difference at all in the end. Upon finding out three months before he became Kaiser that his parents were liberally inclined might have incited Willy to do something very drastic to his parents, or his mother after Fritz died.
Cat
Well hindsight is 20/20; they didn't know at that time that Fritz would only reign 90 days and in truth he may have reigned longer if Vicky had not been so pigheaded to insist on an English doctor who countered the diagnosis of the German doctors who had found the cancer and recommended an operation. I still believe that the English doctor wasn't making a true diagnosis but was pandering to what he thought Vicky wanted. He changed his diagnosis quick enough when the writing was on the wall.
But I think that Fritz' loss of esteem in Germany was a main factor in Willy's idolization of Bismarck and we see that Willy's idolization of Bismarck wasn't that profound; he overthrew Bismarck later. Willy, unlike Sasha, and indeed unlike his English relatives, seemed to me to place great importance on a person's esteem in the society they are in. Fritz despite his many good qualities seemed to conduct his life so that everyone focused on his worse qualities rather than his best. In Germany, he was an accomplished military leader, and that should have gotten him some respect and esteem there but it didn't; Bismarck and the government focused on his political statments and ridiculed him to the point where he lost respect in his own country.
On the other hand, his armies tearing through Darmstadt would have not been welcome to his sister in law Princess Alice who had to barricade herself and her children against the onslaught and it served to make him look the bad guy in Victorian Britain despite the very democratic and British loving tendencies he had. So despite having characteristics that were amenable to the British and to the Germans, he managed to lose respect in both countries and Willy seemed from an early age to be obsessed with making a good appearance in society. I think this is the difference between the German outlook which is more focused on gaining respect of one's peers and one's society and the English outlook which is much more individualistic and independent. Vicky certainly didn't mind being a contrary opinion in Germany but I think her son minded his parent's outcast status tremendously and that could have caused him to seek someone like Bismarck who was seen as a giant in Germany at the time.
What does this have to do with Vicky's and Fritz behavior under the old Kaiser? Well I believe that if Vicky and Fritz had not lost their esteem in Prussia, they would have had a better chance to hold onto their son's love and respect and would have had a better chance to influence Willy to their point of view. But to influence Willy I think they had to prove that they could gain and keep esteem in society first.