I doubt that anybody has the illusion that 'shaming' will break of the engagement. But it is obvious that many have strong feelings about the matter. Even Madeleine's facebook has a high number of critical remakrs, that were not deleted by the press department of the palace yet maybe they were off in the weekend, or maybe they will leave them around).
I agree with other posters that over interpreting gestures, looks etc. based on a few minutes of video footage or pictures can be counter productive and may lead to a parallel universe in which this issue is debated. All we know for now is that the king, queen and princess madeleine publicly wished the couple well. Silvia with her arms closed or an apparently short message by Pss Madeleine do not alter that, and they may not mean anything at all.
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About the 'rape' comment: this comes from an interview with Miss World magazine in September 2012. On 23 September LadyFinn posted the following link and translation:
Sofia Hellqvist harvinaisessa haastattelussa – puhuu lapsista - Viihde - MTV.fi
So she did not claim low esteem causes rape, as some claim now, though it isn't the most fortunate remark indeed as it led to confusion. Perhaps some training before going public with such issues would have been advisable. At the time some posters were in doubt if an organisation with a modest budget like PP could afford to provide adequate professional help to council rape victims. The organisation seemed rather amateurish at the time, it was said that for a while Sofia's personal bank account was listed as the bank account number for the organisation for example.
Anyway, people who talk much have a lot to awnser for. And she certainly talked a lot to the press. Naive maybe, calculated maybe, but often not the most intelligent comments; and at times proven to be incorrect. For example: in the same interview she said that she spend several months for PP in Africa that year, while it was later established that in 2012 she only made 3 short trips to the continent. In different months though.